For Chocolate Lovers Everywhere!!

SweetCherry

Sex Dork
Joined
Dec 20, 2000
Posts
13,358
THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.

But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don they actually counteract each other?

Money talks. Chocolate sings.

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one wants to quit.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
 
Did you know if you eat chocolate ice cream in a hot bath, it don't count? The hot water melts the calories right away! :)
 
I knew I liked you for a reason... here are many more of them. Yummm. Now, where the heck did I hide that Zero bar?
 
True..but

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and
you'll eat less.


This is true..but only fleetingly...

The chocolate will spike the blood sugar very quickly and hence reduce the feeling of hunger...BUT

the resultant sugar spike will cause the body to dump insulin into the system and drive the sugar level down to a level below the original hunger mode...hence

you will be more hungry later....

My advice...lissen up April! Eat the chocolate and be ready later with a naked partner and some whipped cream, honey and various fruits and even....yes some chocolate syrup...to take advantage of the ravenous hunger induced by the initial chocolate consumption. ;)
 
Damn. Geez, thanx a lot Thumper. Next thing you will be telling me there is no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny! :D
 
Were you around at Cnristmas? Thumper is Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, and the Great Pumpkin. All loving and giving is he.
 
Merelan said:
Were you around at Cnristmas? Thumper is Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny, and the Great Pumpkin. All loving and giving is he.

Damn, then I know who to make my complaints to. Santa didn't bring me nothing, not even a stick for spanking me, even tho I was REAL naughty last year. I'm gonna have to try for Easter. Anyone know how to trap a rabbit? :D
 
Really. Is that so, Thumper? Now where might I find a naked, willing partner equipped with all the accessories mentioned above? ;)
 
I'm thinking..

That there are perhaps a multitude of willing participants lining up on your doorstep as we speak..

Just picture it...30 or 40 naked guys (and no doubt a few ladies) holding strawberries and various other groceries standing on April's front porch...

*looking for his plane ticket*

Hey Isabella...hungry????
 
Sure SweetCherry

SweetCherry said:
I'm gonna have to try for Easter. Anyone know how to trap a rabbit? :D

It is called "twap a wabbit" and you blow him to kindom cum.
 
*bratcat* said:
Countess DeWinter said:
The heights thing has come is so handy!! Also, if you break cookies in half, the calories fall out ;)

oh countess *bowing to your intelligence*...you are SO smart...now if I can only remember that rule...

*giggling*
I never have problems remembering to eat the cookies...just that I don't have to feel guilty eating them.
Also, if you eat them with someone, it's theraputic and the calories don't count. I'll bet eating them naked with someone is even better ;)
 
Chocolate loving friends out there

If you love chocolate (or even just enjoy it occasionaly) you need to see the movie "Chocolat". I saw it last night and it is wonderfully engaging. An incredibly sensual movie without any blatant sexuality (rated PG-13), beautifully visual, the actors are handsome to a fault, and it is sinfully full of chocolate fantasies. If you aren't in love with chocolate before or don't believe that it can cure what ails you, you will once you see it. Anyone else seen it? What do you think?
 
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