For you, I would do anything. (Closed for FF)

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

He slowly seated himself on the nearby sofa. It was a mechanical movement, devoid of thought. His pupils dilated as he gazed to the far wall. His voice finally broke shocked silence as he spoke softly into the phone.

“I can’t believe it. He’s dead? That’s just so hard to imagine. Do they know what happened yet? No. No mom I haven’t heard from her. I’ll call her later. I need to gather my thoughts first. She was so close to her dad, she is going to be crushed. No ma. I don’t know how I’m going to handle this.”

He let out an exasperated sigh that had the echoes of a frustrated growl. He almost slammed the phone down as heat entered his cheeks. Thick muscles curled his fingers around the phone and it wasn’t until he heard the plastic give an alarming creak he realized how mad he was. His voice was a reflection of that anger. Deep, soft, almost lethal sounding.

“Listen, she has been my closest friend since I could walk. You don’t think I am making this a priority? I would do anything for her, and she knows it. It’s not my fault you and dad couldn’t keep it together. It was you guys that put this distance between us, not me!”

beep

It was about as close as you could get to slamming the phone on the receiver with a cell phone. That was the real problem with cell phones. There was something more tangible about having the receiver in your hand, and being able to slam it down. So the last thing the other person on the end heard was the crash of plastic coming together violently. THAT was how you ended a conversation like this. Not some mousey little beep. His mind was fragmented, his thought scattered to the four winds. Though it didn’t matter, he didn’t need time to think. He already knew what he was going to do.

The most important woman in his life, the only one who never let him down, who was always there for him, who always held him up no matter the circumstances… she needed him and there was nothing to think about, nothing to debate.

He looked down and realized he was already packing his clothing. In ten minutes he was out the door. Engine roaring, the loud beaten muffler grumbling about being put to use as he pulled up to the drive through of the bank. “Yeah, I’d like to close my savings account. No, no problems; I need the money for something important.”

Another irritated sigh. Why was it everyone thought it was their job to tell him what to do? He had been an adult for six whole months now! They need to just back the hell off.

“I get it Nancy, you are just trying to look out for me. I know coach is not going to be happy about me closing this account. He wants to go with me to get the ‘stang but I don’t care. This is more important than a car. Dad will just have to get over it.”

Silence on the other end and then the little canister came through the vacuum with an envelope. $2000. Not much but it was all he had to call his. The new car would have to wait. “Sorry for getting upset Nancy, thank you.”

The engine roared as he pulled out of the parking lot and merged into traffic. He was finally going home.

 

[FuckFantasy]

The hospital floor felt like ice. Mopped, shining tiles in teal and white expanded for what felt like miles between the wall she had crumbled against, and the open ICU room where her father’s body still lay. She leaned her head back against the wall, and banged it. Again, and again, and again, as low, choking sobs of anguish filled the empty corridors with a haunting echo. A voice broke through the animal-like cries, and a mantra of, “No, no, no,” began to punctuate every thud of her dark head against the pristine white plaster. She realized it was her own voice, strangled with sorrow, sputtering with rage.

No one came to stop her. The orderlies didn’t dare come near. The entire floor had gone silent; the phones refused to ring. She didn’t know where her mother was. She couldn’t see anything through her tears. They fell like a veil from eyes that had seen death’s kiss snuff out a man’s light. She didn’t need to see anything again – she didn’t need to even breathe again. Life didn’t need to continue when her father’s had been cut so cruelly short.

And then, footsteps. The feeling of being held, almost cradled. Warm arms wrapped around her, and pulled her up from the wall.
“Anneliese, don’t cry.” Her father was holding her – she’d know his voice anywhere! She tried to open her eyes fully, but the tears kept falling, and her head was pounding. But he was alive! He was alive, and she could feel his hug, as strong and as loving as ever. All she had to do was cry out for the nurse, call out to the doctor that he’d been wrong, that some sort of terrible mistake had happened!

She couldn’t speak. Her lips felt glued together. And then, in an instant, her body felt heavy, and blackness consumed her vision entirely. She sat up in her parents’ bed, quaking with fear. Sweat soaked through the tattered men’s t-shirt and frayed cotton shorts she’d worn to bed, and her cheeks were wet with fresh tears.

Slowly, her eyes began to adjust to the dark, and she fumbled on the nightstand for her mother’s cell phone. A damp palm struggled to hold the device steady as her thumb clicked it on. It was 4:22 in the morning. She’d been asleep for a mere three hours. And then Anneliese looked over at her mother – her poor, devastated mother – who had slept through any noise made during the nightmare. Annie turned the phone off, and slowly crept out of bed in an attempt to keep her mother asleep.

The heavy bedroom door creaked open, but her mother didn’t move a muscle. For a moment, Annie stood staring at her over her shoulder, watching with sickening paranoia: What if she’s dead too? What if she’d somehow died in her sleep from a broken heart? A second passed before the older woman’s chest rose and fell, and her body shifted beneath the rumpled duvet. Annie slipped out of the room with a silent prayer, and made her way downstairs.

She had to find her own cell phone. She tried to remember where she’d put her purse, before realizing she couldn’t even remember which one she’d carried that day, if at all. They had arrived home shortly after midnight, just the two of them. All alone with only each other and their grief. That’s how it would be from now on, Annie told herself as she descended to the first floor. She began flicking on various lights as she made her way to the kitchen, the sudden terror of walking around in the dark grabbing hold of her with a cold slap of reality: Daddy’s dead, Mommy’s broken, you’re alone right now. She began to cry again, hot tears of anger turning blue eyes red. She collapsed against the kitchen counter in despair. Elbows pressed against the granite, she held her head in her hands and allowed herself to sob for minutes on end. She was growing weary; she almost could have fallen asleep here, half-standing. The sound of her phone broke through her sobs, and nearly made her jump. Her handbag was on the table, the musical chirp from within letting her know she had a text message.

She rushed across the room with the desperation of a drowning woman clinging to a floating piece of debris in the middle of the ocean. It slid open, displaying six missed calls, four voicemails, and a dozen texts from various people in her life. Annie scrolled through every one, looking for only one name, the only two words that mattered right now. A breathy exhale of held anxiety ruptured through the silence as ‘Christian Jakobs’ appeared in her missed alerts. I knew he would know, she told herself, eagerly clicking the message and reading the words of her dearest and oldest friend.

“I’ll be there by sunrise. My phone is almost out of power, but I promise, I’ll be there soon.”

Annie hugged the phone to her chest and closed her eyes, as tears rolled down her cheeks in fervent, silent thanks. He must have heard as soon as it happened – he must have been driving all night. Relief flooded her tense, exhausted body. Another hour ‘til sunrise, she thought, looking at the digital clock on the oven. She raced into the living room and sat sideways in her father’s recliner, facing the window. Her legs curled over one arm while her arms hugged the back of the chair, only her forehead and eyes visible from behind the heavy, overstuffed frame. She looked like a child, waiting for someone to come rescue her from a bad dream. In every way, she was.

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

As every mile passed beneath roaring tires he felt something pulling at the threads that bound his soul together. Everything within him begged, pleaded, demanded that he hurry. She needed him, and he could not fail her when she needed him most. Their lives since parting ways had been lived through the telephone, through e-mails, even the occasional letter.
The space between them had been tangible, but even so they shared even the most intimate details of one another’s lives. This was a bound that could not be severed simply by geography. They had been tied together as far back as either of them could remember.

Impatience wracked his nerves. He could not find a comfortable seating position, and as the sun was just starting to drift behind the horizon he had to stop and stretch his back. He had been sitting in a position that left the muscles in his lower back taught and painful. At this rate he was going to need a wheel chair when he got there. He had to find a way to stay relaxed, he had a long way to drive still.

He pulled off the interstate at the nearest ramp and rolled into a gas station. He stopped long enough to top off the tank, grab something to drink and a candy bar, then it was back into the drivers seat. Before he threw the car into motion he dug out his phone from his pocket and swore quietly. Damn thing was almost dead and he had forgotten to pack his charger in haste to get out the door.

He entered the code to unlock the touch screen, flipped through his contacts. All the names were entered full first name, last name. At the top however it just said “Annie”

“I’ll be there by sunrise. My phone is almost out of power, but I promise, I’ll be there soon.”

The phone started to ring just as he tossed it into the passenger seat. He eyed the entry. It was his father. He just shook his head and pulled out of the gas station, making his way back to the interstate. He was not about to have that conversation right now. Derek Jacobs was a hot headed man on his best days. Coming home to find his son gone without a word, obviously having packed, and maybe more importantly his star line backer. The man would be furious.

He cranked up the radio and put some weight on the pedal. Flicking on the lights he merged in and out of traffic. It had gotten dark in just a short amount of time. His mind began to wander as the miles clicked away. He recalled the argument he had with his ex girlfriend Jenifer. She had flipped through his phone one day and she picked up on the pattern of his contact list instantly, then she had blown up when he had seen the way they texted one another. There was never anything overtly flirtatious, no hint of any sort of romantic dabbling with either of them. Yet taking any of their conversations, you would have to be blind not to see the strong connection the two had. Jenifer had lost her mind, the ensuing fight had lasted almost a week. It ended with them parting ways. He was normally a very easy going man, he was a “gentle giant” so to speak. 6’4” and about 225 lbs. He was a beast of a man. However when Jenifer had pushed him about Annie he dug his heels in.

Laughing softly he shook his head “Annie, you should have seen her face… I thought she was going to pop a vessel.”

I wonder if she will even recognize me? She hasn’t seen me since the photo I sent her freshmen year.

The thought rolled through his skull as he ate up the miles. When they last saw each other in person he had most of his height, but he was skin and bone stretched over an too large frame. It was not until he got into football and wrestling at his Dad’s urging that the muscle stacked on.

He glanced at the clock as he passed a landmark. He was closer now. Another few hours.

************************************

The sun was just barely letting itself be known. The sky was a murky purple, it reminded him of a bruise. The air was still chilled with skeletal fingers of evening. Soon the sun would bake away the mist and give way to the heat. He killed the engine out front of the two story house and sat there staring at the front door. Should he go in? He saw lights on inside but that did not mean anyone was awake. Their lives had been forever altered. Who knew if he would be disturbing them from much needed rest.

His chest tightened. His heart fluttered in his chest, then stilled. It was not grief for the dead… it was a scar ripping open. Annie had been taken from him in a way years ago, and it was unbearable. Somehow he had managed to push away that ache, smothering it with other things. Now he was sitting outside her house and the wound ripped open. He opened the door and stood up with a grimace, feeling his spine shift back into the proper alignment.

He walked up to the front door and flipped open the cover of the alarm system. He punched in the numerical code, wondering if he was just going to have to knock loud enough to wake someone, but the alarm beeped softly once. The door lock released with an audible click.

Pulling the door open as quietly as he could he stood in the door way for a moment. Familiarity washing over him like tidal waves. He had spent so much of his life here, it was almost like this was his homecoming, instead of the house his mother lived in.

He crossed into the next room and there she was, curled up in her father’s chair. She looked so lost, so frail, so broken. There was no thought. He crossed the distance between them and wrapped his thick arms around the chair, hugging her against him tightly. There were no words. None were needed.