sinnocence
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2007
- Posts
- 837
In all my eighteen years, I had no idea it would turn out like this. I was almost disgusted to realize it had. Okay, maybe not disgusted, but…shocked? My thoughts and feelings lately were nowhere near what people would consider normal. At my age, I was naturally raging with hormones. Not as bad as the guys at my high school of course, but still feeling the same kind of thing. Although, I was almost too close to the guys since none of my female friends seemed to be the same as me. I would daydream about what it would be like to be with this famous person or wonder how this guy used his tongue while kissing. I would stay up late at night with my laptop propped on my bed and watch porn. Nothing too wild or hardcore, just something to get me off. I’d rub my clit and pussy until they were raw; I wasn’t brave enough to try and insert a finger yet. My favorites though were with the guys that resembled a certain man.
He was unlike any other man or guy I knew. He was loving, protective, intelligent, strong, and…married. He was unattainable. He was in love with someone else. He was strictly forbidden.
He was my father.
A mixture of emotions flooded my insides when I thought of him. I still possessed the love that a daughter feels for her father. But ever since I reached the age of sixteen, that love began developing into something more. And it wasn’t just love either. I felt a desire. A strong, burning desire to be with him…the way a woman is with a man. I knew I wasn’t completely a woman yet. I was still a virgin and barely legal. But I would dream that I was – a woman not related to him that he would want more than anything or anyone.
As this love and desire grew, I began to hate my mother. I’d see them kissing or hugging and it would make me sick. I’d hear them having sex at night and I would get so angry that I'd start throwing things against my bedroom walls just so they’d stop. I would never get mad at him though, just her. He was always perfect in my eyes. My mother couldn’t get over my sudden mood swings. But I couldn’t help it. I’d become so livid with her that nothing else mattered. I started to feel like he was mine and she was taking him away from me. I knew it was an unhealthy way to think and definitely not what was socially accepted. But I soon got to the point where I didn’t care.
I wanted my father…even if he had no idea.
~~~
It was a Friday morning. Just a normal morning where my younger brother and I were expected to be up and ready for school and my parents would be off to work. I heard the alarm go off at seven and sluggishly pulled my body out of my warm bed. I headed in to take a shower, the place where I did quite a bit of fantasizing. None of my fantasies were ever about anyone else but my father anymore. I would get so turned on in the shower…imagining that the water streaming down my body was his hand, touching every inch of my skin. This morning of course, that same thought entered my mind. Immediately, my nipples were erect and I could feel the area between my thighs become wet, and not just from the water. But I was always just left dreaming of something that I knew I could never have. For some reason, this morning it was especially bad. I wanted him so bad that it made me sick to my stomach. I wiped the beginning traces of tears from my eyes and decided that I would stay home from school. My parents normally left before my brother and I did, so it could be pulled off. I was just not in the mood to go anywhere.
After my shower, I crept back into my room and slid under the covers just as I heard my mother and father leave for work. The image of them kissing each other goodbye made me groan and I buried my face in my pillow.
“Hey! Aren’t you going to school?”
My brother had peeked his head in my room. Naturally he wanted to know since I was his ride to school.
“No, I don’t feel that great.”
“But how am I supposed to get there?”
“It’s a thing called the bus.”
I rolled my eyes when he slammed the door, complaining like he always did. A few seconds later, I heard him leave too. Good, now I was left alone with only my thoughts and fantasies…the way it always was.
He was unlike any other man or guy I knew. He was loving, protective, intelligent, strong, and…married. He was unattainable. He was in love with someone else. He was strictly forbidden.
He was my father.
A mixture of emotions flooded my insides when I thought of him. I still possessed the love that a daughter feels for her father. But ever since I reached the age of sixteen, that love began developing into something more. And it wasn’t just love either. I felt a desire. A strong, burning desire to be with him…the way a woman is with a man. I knew I wasn’t completely a woman yet. I was still a virgin and barely legal. But I would dream that I was – a woman not related to him that he would want more than anything or anyone.
As this love and desire grew, I began to hate my mother. I’d see them kissing or hugging and it would make me sick. I’d hear them having sex at night and I would get so angry that I'd start throwing things against my bedroom walls just so they’d stop. I would never get mad at him though, just her. He was always perfect in my eyes. My mother couldn’t get over my sudden mood swings. But I couldn’t help it. I’d become so livid with her that nothing else mattered. I started to feel like he was mine and she was taking him away from me. I knew it was an unhealthy way to think and definitely not what was socially accepted. But I soon got to the point where I didn’t care.
I wanted my father…even if he had no idea.
~~~
It was a Friday morning. Just a normal morning where my younger brother and I were expected to be up and ready for school and my parents would be off to work. I heard the alarm go off at seven and sluggishly pulled my body out of my warm bed. I headed in to take a shower, the place where I did quite a bit of fantasizing. None of my fantasies were ever about anyone else but my father anymore. I would get so turned on in the shower…imagining that the water streaming down my body was his hand, touching every inch of my skin. This morning of course, that same thought entered my mind. Immediately, my nipples were erect and I could feel the area between my thighs become wet, and not just from the water. But I was always just left dreaming of something that I knew I could never have. For some reason, this morning it was especially bad. I wanted him so bad that it made me sick to my stomach. I wiped the beginning traces of tears from my eyes and decided that I would stay home from school. My parents normally left before my brother and I did, so it could be pulled off. I was just not in the mood to go anywhere.
After my shower, I crept back into my room and slid under the covers just as I heard my mother and father leave for work. The image of them kissing each other goodbye made me groan and I buried my face in my pillow.
“Hey! Aren’t you going to school?”
My brother had peeked his head in my room. Naturally he wanted to know since I was his ride to school.
“No, I don’t feel that great.”
“But how am I supposed to get there?”
“It’s a thing called the bus.”
I rolled my eyes when he slammed the door, complaining like he always did. A few seconds later, I heard him leave too. Good, now I was left alone with only my thoughts and fantasies…the way it always was.
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