DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
I've recently been trying to explain my kinky passions to a woman. She's in a dead end relationship and it's close to its end, so I've been explaining things to her about what I'm like, etc. This is mostly in emails, as she doesn't want any connection until her present one is over.
She's sometimes said she's into it, and sometimes said she's against it. She's even said I'll need to find someone else for that kind of fun. I'm starting to wonder if she is just not able to commit or if she wants to be taken and forced. I don't want to attempt any of that on my own.
What I don't like is the lack of straight out communication. I've always tried to be very open about what I want and don't want and then ask what a woman wants, in return. If it works out that we are compatible, fine. It not, that's fine, too.
I just don't like playing the game of not knowing and maybe wasting time. If I find her physically attractive, I start the communication. I consider that the adult way of doing things. Unfortunately, there are some people who are adults physically, but not mentally.
She recently said she has long been unable to "let her freak flag fly". Those were her exact words. I thought maybe she had no way to express herself and so she stole that phrase from David Crosby.
I said that's interesting to hear and asked her what she meant. She said that was for a future discussion. I considered it a come on, and maybe in some way she was maybe tempting me. And maybe it was also something she didn't want to talk about, while she was still in a relationship. But, just last night, she again said any kind of kinky relationship between us would not happen.
Early on, I told her that I'm very open and I've even told her that I'm far from a newbie and have lived most of my sexual fantasies. I've even explained some of them to her...in detail. I saw it as a good thing when she didn't call me a pervert. LOL. She even said it sounded "interesting".
I've also said that I'm willing to talk over what she has in mind when she talks about her freak flag. But, I need to have input from her. I'm a patient man, but I also need to know what she means by her freak flag.
I'm beginning to get frustrated. She's hot and cold. When a woman gets this way, it turns me off. I don't see it as acting like an adult. Sometimes I think women see me as too open, and they are wanting to keep some mystery there.
Personally, I prefer knowing something...understanding someone's needs or desires. I want to make it all work. What is it with women? Why do they act this way? At this point, I still don't know if she's even willing to get into this kind of kink with me, because she sometimes seems interested and then other times she isn't.
I'm frustrated. I could be wasting my time. She won't even go out with me until her present situation is over. I understand that, but I would like some kind of hint. Is she going to open up, once this present relationship is over? Or is this the way she is? If so, I'm not getting much from her.
She's sometimes said she's into it, and sometimes said she's against it. She's even said I'll need to find someone else for that kind of fun. I'm starting to wonder if she is just not able to commit or if she wants to be taken and forced. I don't want to attempt any of that on my own.
What I don't like is the lack of straight out communication. I've always tried to be very open about what I want and don't want and then ask what a woman wants, in return. If it works out that we are compatible, fine. It not, that's fine, too.
I just don't like playing the game of not knowing and maybe wasting time. If I find her physically attractive, I start the communication. I consider that the adult way of doing things. Unfortunately, there are some people who are adults physically, but not mentally.
She recently said she has long been unable to "let her freak flag fly". Those were her exact words. I thought maybe she had no way to express herself and so she stole that phrase from David Crosby.
I said that's interesting to hear and asked her what she meant. She said that was for a future discussion. I considered it a come on, and maybe in some way she was maybe tempting me. And maybe it was also something she didn't want to talk about, while she was still in a relationship. But, just last night, she again said any kind of kinky relationship between us would not happen.
Early on, I told her that I'm very open and I've even told her that I'm far from a newbie and have lived most of my sexual fantasies. I've even explained some of them to her...in detail. I saw it as a good thing when she didn't call me a pervert. LOL. She even said it sounded "interesting".
I've also said that I'm willing to talk over what she has in mind when she talks about her freak flag. But, I need to have input from her. I'm a patient man, but I also need to know what she means by her freak flag.
I'm beginning to get frustrated. She's hot and cold. When a woman gets this way, it turns me off. I don't see it as acting like an adult. Sometimes I think women see me as too open, and they are wanting to keep some mystery there.
Personally, I prefer knowing something...understanding someone's needs or desires. I want to make it all work. What is it with women? Why do they act this way? At this point, I still don't know if she's even willing to get into this kind of kink with me, because she sometimes seems interested and then other times she isn't.
I'm frustrated. I could be wasting my time. She won't even go out with me until her present situation is over. I understand that, but I would like some kind of hint. Is she going to open up, once this present relationship is over? Or is this the way she is? If so, I'm not getting much from her.
