friends and excessive drinking and driving

[Down_UnderKid]

hey all
i was out at the pub tonight with my mates for a couple of quiet beers (2) when my other mates rocked up after work. they had been drinking for a couple of hours(maybe) and each had drank about 6 cans. one of these guys is a best mate i have known for years, as soon as he spoke i knew how drunk he was.
he drove to the pub and was gonna drive home, after having atleast 3 more drinks.
im worried that he will either crash, take himself out, his car out, someone else or kill somebody at the worst. he says "nah im fine" and has on several occasions just missed out on been breath tested by cops, but still continues to drink and drive.

should i try and say something to him (even though i feel it will be like bashing my head against a wall) or say something to his GF, or someone else? or is there something else i should try do?

 

[CherryBomb24]

i would say something to his girlfriend or his mom at the least.
i'm the type of person that if i have one, i'm not driving no matter how much it pisses people off that i wont give them a ride home. I call cabs for people and will fight them tooth n nail to make sure they dont get into a car unless they're in the backseat.

 

[CherryBomb24]

not physically fight then but you know what i mean.

 

[silverwhisper]

don't just say something. if your friend kills someone else, how are you going to feel by remaining silent?

ed

 

[subwannabe]

As much as you feel the necessity to get involved, I doubt anything would come out of it. He seems to deny that anything is wrong - he can handle it just fine. His girlfriend already knows and so does just about everyone else. He wouldn't listen to them either. I hate to say this but maybe the best thing you could do is anonomously call the police when you know he is driving drunk and let them get him. This could save people's lives, including his and has a chance of giving him a real message that maybe he will listen to, maybe not.

 

[PublicAffection]

When I used to be a drinker, and had friends that were drinkers, it was a requirement that we each left our cars and our car keys at home before going out. Anyone who met us at the bar would then have to turn their keys over to the most responsible person in the group for safe-keeping.

It wasn't something that we negotiated after we were already started - it was an agreement that was made before anyone opened a bottle. This all resulted after I almost drove my car into my own apartment after attempting to drive drunk - it should have been an agreement we made before anything like that ever happened.

 

[Eilan]

don't just say something. if your friend kills someone else, how are you going to feel by remaining silent?

What he said.

 

[TypicalDeviant]

If a friend of mine was driving towards a cliff I wouldn't turn away and hope he stops. Without being to melodramatic, you may as well be aiding and abetting his drunk driving if you don't try to stop it.

 

[unregistered]

 

[SweetErika]

I agree, you shouldn't go along with anyone driving drunk, or even buzzed or impaired at all.

Talk to his gf (and even his family if you know them and/or think they could help) about the problem and making sure he always has a no-questions-asked ride. Call him a cab, have the server/bartender cut him off, and call the police if it looks like he's determined to drive. If necessary, you can try to stall him until the police arrive and ask them to scare him into better behavior.

Your friend may not appreciate your efforts short-term, but long-term he's going to be glad he's not maimed or killed in a crash or forced to live with the guilt of knowing he destroyed another's life.

 

[tinawill77]

You definitely have to do something because I think your friend might have a drinking problem or is really stupid. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but if he's consistently putting his and others' lives at risk each time he does this.

If your friend won't listen to reason, you might want to anonymously call the cops about where he's leaving and what direction he's going. Getting him arrested is drastic, but if you need to scare him into never doing this again, I think it would be worth it.

 

[CaRaMeLPoleDoll]

I guess you could look at it from his shoes, if you were the person doing the drink driving and putting lives at risk, would you want your good friends to stop you before you did real damage to yourself and others.

i know i would want someone to care enough to say something. Even if he doesn't listen and it hurts your friendship etc it's worth saying something.

i agree with Tinawill77, scaring him with the cops may be a last resort if he doens't listen to reason... it would sure as hell make me pay attention!

 

[emap]

I kinda hate to say this, but people who routinely drive drunk, have the not gonna happen to me mentality. You can scream at him until you are blue in the face, beat the crap out of every time he tries to drive drunk and he won't listen, just go elsewhere to drink and drive.

The only thing you can do to maybe get him to realize he's being a jackass, is to call the cops and alert them to his habits. They will know to look for his car and what streets he tends to drive on and they will pull him over when they see him, no drunk driver drives well, they either go really slow or weave all over the place. Cops never need to make up an excuse on a drunk driver they were called about.

Keep in mind the cops pulling him over giving him the fine, suspended license and I think jail time isn't a sure fire wake up call. Some people have to kill someone before they go what the hell am I doing, some not even then.

 

[Down_UnderKid]

thanks for the replies people. i did contemplate ringing the cops to notify them, but were i live, there arent too many cops around and its a big town.

i have spoken to him and mentioned it a few times, but like others have said, he has the ill be fine mentality.

if i can speak to his gf i will, but im sure she is aware of it.

he does appear to drink too much, not always driving. but he does to it enough that something should be done. he is just to stubborn to listen.

i think i just needed to vent about it, but the posts have helped me, thanks

 

[SweetErika]

thanks for the replies people. i did contemplate ringing the cops to notify them, but were i live, there arent too many cops around and its a big town.

Regardless, if you call to tell them your friend is a problem drinker and perhaps alcoholic who is a habitual drunk driver and currently refusing to stay away from his car, they'll likely come.

And if you don't want to make the call, give that info to the bartender and ask him/her to call it in.

he does appear to drink too much, not always driving. but he does to it enough that something should be done. he is just to stubborn to listen.

Maybe his gf, family and close friends can intervene.

 

[viper2000]

Def say something even better become proactive and maybe try to find some programs to help him and when the time comes and he does come around youve got programs and support to help him.

 

[silverwhisper]

downunderkid: you mention your friend is the one you're worried about. what about the other friends? do they see a problem here? because if it comes from only one of you, that's much easier for him to ignore than if the entire group says "dude, you gotta give me your keys right now".

ed

 

[shane_30]

I kinda hate to say this, but people who routinely drive drunk, have the not gonna happen to me mentality. You can scream at him until you are blue in the face, beat the crap out of every time he tries to drive drunk and he won't listen, just go elsewhere to drink and drive.

The only thing you can do to maybe get him to realize he's being a jackass, is to call the cops and alert them to his habits. They will know to look for his car and what streets he tends to drive on and they will pull him over when they see him, no drunk driver drives well, they either go really slow or weave all over the place. Cops never need to make up an excuse on a drunk driver they were called about.

Keep in mind the cops pulling him over giving him the fine, suspended license and I think jail time isn't a sure fire wake up call. Some people have to kill someone before they go what the hell am I doing, some not even then.

I agree with this and i know from expirience. It was never a concern for me and i had that "it wont happen to me" tude. I even had a friend wreck and die! I didnt stop till i got a DUI. I was about 25 at the time so i might have been "maturing' as well but it worked. I rarely go out to drink now and if i do go to the pub for a game or fight, i have a ride before hand. I wont even drive across the street after one beer! I couldnt live with myself if i killed someone by driving drunk! Do him and you a favor and call the law to his ass before its too late!

 

[akatrex]

http://img96.imageshack.us/img96/7489/drinkanddrivehs8.jpg

10 Reasons not to Drink and Drive!

 

[shane_30]

That outa do it!

 

[emap]

Not really, the people who drink and drive also have the mentality that if they do get in an accident they die. Sad but true most drunk drivers look forward to dying in a fiery explosion.

What will work is pictures of the drunk drivers who killed others but did not die themselves, alot are stuck in wheelchairs for life or mental institutions. That's the part they never mention, most drunk drivers don't die, they do however tend to suffer from severe depression because someone else did or they are left severely handicapped. Not to mention many are having to bum rides or take the bus because they were pulled over three or more times while drunk.

 

[Quoll]

What's the point in the pic?
The OP isn't the one with the problem, he already knows the risks, hence the reason he started this thread.
Drink driving advertising in this (his) country has been some of the most graphic in the world and it doesn't have one iota of effect on those who embrace the drink/drive culture.

those who embrace the drink/drive culture.

Just in case you missed my point.