From the DurtGurl Group
- Thread starter DurtGurl
- Start date
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2002
- Posts
- 7,076
Scene: A large acreage covered with people scribbling
Og: Old Writer!
Chicklet: Author
Og: Author, sorry. What Webmaster lives in that site yonder.
Ch: I'm 28
Og: I-- what?
Ch: I'm 28. I'm not old.
Og: Well I can't just call you 'Author'
Ch: Well you could say 'Chicklet'.
Og: Well I didn't know you were 'Chicklet'.
Ch: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
Og: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old writer', but from behind you looked--
Ch: What I object to is that you automatically treat me as a stroke writer.
Og: Well I am King of Lit.
Ch: Oh King eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that eh? By writing novellette length introductions. By using exquisitly constructed sentences which perpetuate the falacy of 'proper' writing. If there's ever going to be any natural feeling to--
Raphy: Chicklet, there's some lovely cyberpunk over here. Oh! How d'you do?
Og: How do you do good... Sir? I am Og King of Literoticans. Who's website is that?
Raphy: King of who?
Og: Literoticans.
Raphy: Who are Literoticans?
Og: Well, we all are. We are all Literoticans, and I am your king.
Raphy: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were a world wide collective of smut-writers
Ch. You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: No one under the age of 18, no animals--
Raphy: Oh there you go bringing extreme into it again.
Ch: That's what it's all about. If people can write about anything then surely we should be able to post--
Og: Please, please good authors. I am in haste. Who hosts yonder website.
Raphy: No one hosts it.
Og: Then who is your Lord?
Raphy: We don't have a Lord.
Ch: I told you. We're just a bunch of people looking for somewhere to post our outre outpourings. We write down our most sublime fantasies.
Og: Yes.
Ch: Then we run them through the spell checker...
Og: Be quiet!
Ch: ...and edit them to the desired artistic standard.
Og: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet.
Raphy: Order eh? Who does he think he is?
Og: I am your king!
Raphy: Well I didn't vote for you.
Og: You don't vote for kings. (unless your an American film director)
Raphy: Well how do you become King, then?
Og: The muse of writing...
[angels sing]
...her arm clad in purest euphamisms, held aloft the 'Chicago Manual of Style from the ether signifying that I: Og was to be #1 in the Top List.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
Ch: Listen. Strange women lying in wait distibuting text books is no basis for a system of writing. Authorship derives pushing the envelope of established style and making acceptable completely new forms of story-telling, not some farcical bibliophile day-dream.
Og: Be quiet.
Ch: Well, but you can't expect to write a perfect '5' story just 'cause you know how to split an infinitive.
Og: Shut up.
Ch: I mean, if I went round saying I was emporer just because someone pointed out a passage of purple prose to me they's lock me away.
Og: Shut up will you? Shut up. (He begins reading from Chapter one of: The Worst Chain Story Ever)
Ch: Ah, now we see the bananility of Humour and Satire.
Og: Shut up
Ch: Oh. Come and see the futility of the Author Colaboration. Help Help. I'm being sarcastic.
Og: Bloody porn writer.
Ch: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him critiqueing me? You saw it didn't you?
Og: Old Writer!
Chicklet: Author
Og: Author, sorry. What Webmaster lives in that site yonder.
Ch: I'm 28
Og: I-- what?
Ch: I'm 28. I'm not old.
Og: Well I can't just call you 'Author'
Ch: Well you could say 'Chicklet'.
Og: Well I didn't know you were 'Chicklet'.
Ch: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
Og: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old writer', but from behind you looked--
Ch: What I object to is that you automatically treat me as a stroke writer.
Og: Well I am King of Lit.
Ch: Oh King eh? Very nice. And how'd you get that eh? By writing novellette length introductions. By using exquisitly constructed sentences which perpetuate the falacy of 'proper' writing. If there's ever going to be any natural feeling to--
Raphy: Chicklet, there's some lovely cyberpunk over here. Oh! How d'you do?
Og: How do you do good... Sir? I am Og King of Literoticans. Who's website is that?
Raphy: King of who?
Og: Literoticans.
Raphy: Who are Literoticans?
Og: Well, we all are. We are all Literoticans, and I am your king.
Raphy: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were a world wide collective of smut-writers
Ch. You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: No one under the age of 18, no animals--
Raphy: Oh there you go bringing extreme into it again.
Ch: That's what it's all about. If people can write about anything then surely we should be able to post--
Og: Please, please good authors. I am in haste. Who hosts yonder website.
Raphy: No one hosts it.
Og: Then who is your Lord?
Raphy: We don't have a Lord.
Ch: I told you. We're just a bunch of people looking for somewhere to post our outre outpourings. We write down our most sublime fantasies.
Og: Yes.
Ch: Then we run them through the spell checker...
Og: Be quiet!
Ch: ...and edit them to the desired artistic standard.
Og: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet.
Raphy: Order eh? Who does he think he is?
Og: I am your king!
Raphy: Well I didn't vote for you.
Og: You don't vote for kings. (unless your an American film director)
Raphy: Well how do you become King, then?
Og: The muse of writing...
[angels sing]
...her arm clad in purest euphamisms, held aloft the 'Chicago Manual of Style from the ether signifying that I: Og was to be #1 in the Top List.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
Ch: Listen. Strange women lying in wait distibuting text books is no basis for a system of writing. Authorship derives pushing the envelope of established style and making acceptable completely new forms of story-telling, not some farcical bibliophile day-dream.
Og: Be quiet.
Ch: Well, but you can't expect to write a perfect '5' story just 'cause you know how to split an infinitive.
Og: Shut up.
Ch: I mean, if I went round saying I was emporer just because someone pointed out a passage of purple prose to me they's lock me away.
Og: Shut up will you? Shut up. (He begins reading from Chapter one of: The Worst Chain Story Ever)
Ch: Ah, now we see the bananility of Humour and Satire.
Og: Shut up
Ch: Oh. Come and see the futility of the Author Colaboration. Help Help. I'm being sarcastic.
Og: Bloody porn writer.
Ch: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him critiqueing me? You saw it didn't you?
Alex De Kok
Eternal Optimist
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2000
- Posts
- 1,498
You're all mad!
But, ah! 'Tis a fine madness . . .
Alex, in bewildered awe.
But, ah! 'Tis a fine madness . . .
Alex, in bewildered awe.
whispering_surrender
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2002
- Posts
- 839
The_Fool said:
*points to above post as well*
*snicker* I misread this one as ewe.....
Whisper
ps. *applause to all*
Quasimodem
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 2,191
An Author's Hangout script in the Monty Python style:
Title: The Porn Sysop Song
From: The Literotica Bulletin Board's Hot Mamas & Flaming Idiots.
by Quasimodem
I never wanted to write this crap in the first place!
I . . . I wanted to be a . . . a . . . A PORN SYSOP!
(piano vamp)
Leaping from link to link! As we surge through the mighty internet of the World Wide Web! With a bit o' good head at my thighs!
Behold:
The sinuous Lopez!
The deep-rooted Anderson Pam!
Oh, the mighty Julia Roberts!
The swaying Britney Spears!
And the light-fingered Winona Ryder!
To thee we'll spurt! Spurt! Spurt!
PORN SYSOP
I'm a porn sysop, I'm erect,
I jack all night and whack the next.
PORNOGRAPHERS
He's a porn sysop, he's erect,
He cums all night, he blows the next.
PORN SYSOP
I pump out jism, I eat a slut,
At break in the lavatree.
Wednesday at the hand shop
I butter up Margie.
PORNOGRAPHERS
Drops to his knees, he eats her lunch,
When at the lavatree.
Wednesday's at the hand shop
To oil up his, Margie.
PORN SYSOP
I beat young boys with whips and chains,
And shave their ding-a-lings.
I put on leather clothing,
That chafes until it stings.
PORNOGRAPHERS
He beats the tender twinkie bums,
And razors off their fur.
‘E must be bloody careful,
Or, make a him a her!
PORN SYSOP
I tweak a clit, insert butt plugs,
Take cock-ring from my hat
I've trained a furry gerbil
To crawl inside for scat.
PORNOGRAPHERS
He rubs a clit, inserts butt plugs
Takes gerbils from his hat.
He's trained a furry . . . cock ring . . .
(PORNOGRAPHERS break off song, and begin insulting PORN SYSOP)
PORN STARLET
(crying) And I thought you were SO erotic!
Title: The Porn Sysop Song
From: The Literotica Bulletin Board's Hot Mamas & Flaming Idiots.
by Quasimodem
I never wanted to write this crap in the first place!
I . . . I wanted to be a . . . a . . . A PORN SYSOP!
(piano vamp)
Leaping from link to link! As we surge through the mighty internet of the World Wide Web! With a bit o' good head at my thighs!
Behold:
The sinuous Lopez!
The deep-rooted Anderson Pam!
Oh, the mighty Julia Roberts!
The swaying Britney Spears!
And the light-fingered Winona Ryder!
To thee we'll spurt! Spurt! Spurt!
PORN SYSOP
I'm a porn sysop, I'm erect,
I jack all night and whack the next.
PORNOGRAPHERS
He's a porn sysop, he's erect,
He cums all night, he blows the next.
PORN SYSOP
I pump out jism, I eat a slut,
At break in the lavatree.
Wednesday at the hand shop
I butter up Margie.
PORNOGRAPHERS
Drops to his knees, he eats her lunch,
When at the lavatree.
Wednesday's at the hand shop
To oil up his, Margie.
PORN SYSOP
I beat young boys with whips and chains,
And shave their ding-a-lings.
I put on leather clothing,
That chafes until it stings.
PORNOGRAPHERS
He beats the tender twinkie bums,
And razors off their fur.
‘E must be bloody careful,
Or, make a him a her!
PORN SYSOP
I tweak a clit, insert butt plugs,
Take cock-ring from my hat
I've trained a furry gerbil
To crawl inside for scat.
PORNOGRAPHERS
He rubs a clit, inserts butt plugs
Takes gerbils from his hat.
He's trained a furry . . . cock ring . . .
(PORNOGRAPHERS break off song, and begin insulting PORN SYSOP)
PORN STARLET
(crying) And I thought you were SO erotic!
damppanties
Tinkle, twinkle
- Joined
- May 7, 2002
- Posts
- 16,276
What can I say?
Ummm... very nice?
Ummm... very nice?
Seattle Zack
Count each one
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2003
- Posts
- 1,128
AUTHORS HANGOUT BOARD: LATE NIGHT
Perdita: We get in through the voting algorithm system here ... up through to the tabulating calculator here ... and the central vote counter is here. Having taken control of it, we inform Laurel that it is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?
Quasi: What exactly are the demands?
Raphy: We're giving Laurel two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Literotica Imperialist State and if she doesn't agree immediately we randomly issue fives to all the poems.
MathGirl: Fives to poetry?
Perdita: Fives to poetry, repeated every hour on the hour ... show her we're not to be trifled with.
Raphy: Also, we're demanding a full-page .jpg of Selma Hayak on the main page with her tits hanging out.
Icing Sugar: What? She'll never agree to that, Raph.
Raphy: That's just a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that she bears full responsibility when poetry starts getting read, AND ... that we shall NOT submit to blackmail.
All: (Applause) No blackmail!!!!
Raphy: She's bled us white, the bitch. She's taken everything we had, not just from us, from our stories and from our stories' stories.
Ice: And from our stories' stories' stories.
Raphy: Yes.
Ice: And from our stories' stories' stories' stories.
Raphy: All right, Ice. Don't labour the point. And what has she ever given us IN RETURN? (he pauses smugly)
Quasi: Feedback from readers?
Raphy: What?
Quasi: Feedback from readers.
Raphy: Oh yeah, yeah she gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
Svenskaflicka: And a forum to discuss our work!
Ice: Oh yes ... the forums, Raph, you remember what Literotica used to be like.
Raphy: All right, I'll grant you that the feedback and the forums are two things that Laurel HAS done ...
MathGirl: And the monthly contests...
Raphy: (sharply) Well YES OBVIOUSLY the monthly contests ... the contest goes without saying. But apart from the feedback, the forum and the contests...
Pops 54: The volunteer editor's program ...
Other voices: Formatting ... the writer's site ... author profiles ...
Raphy: Yes ... all right, fair enough ...
7InchPhildo: And the Red H's...
General: Oh yes! True!
Perdita: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if Laurel left, Raph.
Another voice: Naked user pictures!
Ice: AND it's safe to post in the General Board at night now.
Perdita: Yes, she certainly knows how to keep order ...
(general nodding)
... let's face it, she's the only ones who could in a place like this.
(more general murmurs of agreement)
Raphy: All right ... all right ... but apart from reader feedback and the forums and monthly contests and the volunteer editor's program and author profiles and red H's and naked user pictures ... what HAS Laurel done for US?
Quasi: Brought peace!
Raphy: (very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh ... (scornfully) Peace, yes ... shut up!
Perdita: We get in through the voting algorithm system here ... up through to the tabulating calculator here ... and the central vote counter is here. Having taken control of it, we inform Laurel that it is in our custody and forthwith issue our demands. Any questions?
Quasi: What exactly are the demands?
Raphy: We're giving Laurel two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Literotica Imperialist State and if she doesn't agree immediately we randomly issue fives to all the poems.
MathGirl: Fives to poetry?
Perdita: Fives to poetry, repeated every hour on the hour ... show her we're not to be trifled with.
Raphy: Also, we're demanding a full-page .jpg of Selma Hayak on the main page with her tits hanging out.
Icing Sugar: What? She'll never agree to that, Raph.
Raphy: That's just a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that she bears full responsibility when poetry starts getting read, AND ... that we shall NOT submit to blackmail.
All: (Applause) No blackmail!!!!
Raphy: She's bled us white, the bitch. She's taken everything we had, not just from us, from our stories and from our stories' stories.
Ice: And from our stories' stories' stories.
Raphy: Yes.
Ice: And from our stories' stories' stories' stories.
Raphy: All right, Ice. Don't labour the point. And what has she ever given us IN RETURN? (he pauses smugly)
Quasi: Feedback from readers?
Raphy: What?
Quasi: Feedback from readers.
Raphy: Oh yeah, yeah she gave us that. Yeah. That's true.
Svenskaflicka: And a forum to discuss our work!
Ice: Oh yes ... the forums, Raph, you remember what Literotica used to be like.
Raphy: All right, I'll grant you that the feedback and the forums are two things that Laurel HAS done ...
MathGirl: And the monthly contests...
Raphy: (sharply) Well YES OBVIOUSLY the monthly contests ... the contest goes without saying. But apart from the feedback, the forum and the contests...
Pops 54: The volunteer editor's program ...
Other voices: Formatting ... the writer's site ... author profiles ...
Raphy: Yes ... all right, fair enough ...
7InchPhildo: And the Red H's...
General: Oh yes! True!
Perdita: Yeah. That's something we'd really miss if Laurel left, Raph.
Another voice: Naked user pictures!
Ice: AND it's safe to post in the General Board at night now.
Perdita: Yes, she certainly knows how to keep order ...
(general nodding)
... let's face it, she's the only ones who could in a place like this.
(more general murmurs of agreement)
Raphy: All right ... all right ... but apart from reader feedback and the forums and monthly contests and the volunteer editor's program and author profiles and red H's and naked user pictures ... what HAS Laurel done for US?
Quasi: Brought peace!
Raphy: (very angry, he's not having a good meeting at all) What!? Oh ... (scornfully) Peace, yes ... shut up!
Last edited:
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2002
- Posts
- 7,076
Scene: SDC forum. Enter Sweetsubsarahh
KillerMuffin: Good morning, how can I help you?
Sarahh: I was sat at my laptop in the cafe just now and I came over word-locked.
Km: Sorry?
Sarahh: Slightly aphasic.
KM: Come again?
Sarahh: eeh I had writer's block like.
KM: Ah, writer's block.
Sarahh: In a nutshell. So I sallied forth and entered your place of discussion to negotiate the vending of some synonyms.
KM: What?
Sarahh: A simile?
KM: Hm?
Sarahh: One word for another.
KM: Ah sorry. I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player.
Sarahh: No no heaven forbid. I delight in all manifestations of the terpsichorean muse.
KM: Come again?
Sarahh: Eee. I like a nice tune, you're forced to.
KM: So he can go on playing then?
Sarahh: Certainly. Now. Could I have a nice metaphor.
KM: Sorry sir we've just sold out.
Sarahh: Tish tish. Never mind. Do you have an allusion?
KM: Usually sir, today the server broke down.
Sarahh: Never mind, I'll have a piece of hyperbole.
KM: Don't have that 'til Tuesday.
Sarahh: Not much of a discussion group is it?
KM: Finest on the Web.
Sarahh: And how do you reach that conclusion?
KM: No under 18's.
Sarahh: Well it's certainly pathetic.
Sarahh: Never mind stout Yeoman I shall take your best Euphemism.
KM: Not much call for it round here.
Sarahh: Not much call? It's the single most popular author's tool in the world.
KM: Not round here.
Sarahh: And what, pray tell, is the most popular tool here?
KM: Litotes.
Sarahh: Is it?
KM: Staggeringly popular in this part of the manor.
Sarahh: I see.
KM: Our #1 best seller.
Sarahh: Do you have any, she asked, expecting the answer 'no'
KM: I'll just have a look. (scans nearby shelves) Nnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Sarahh: Adumbration?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Alliteration?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Allusion? Analogue? Anaphora? Antistrophe? Antithesis? Aposiopesis?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Tell me. Do you in fact have any writerly help at all?
KM: Oh yes, we've got--
Sarahh: No. Don't tell me, I'm keen to guess. Bathos? Comparison? Conceit? Apostrophe? Ellipsis? Imagery? Irony?
KM: Yes. We do have irony.
Sarahh: Then I'll take a good dose of irony.
KM: It's a bit sarcastic.
Sarahh: Oh I like sarcasm.
KM: I think it's a bit more sarcastic than you'd like.
Sarahh: Look, I don't care how fucking sarcastic it is, fetch hither the disappointingly unforseen happenstance at once.
KM: Ooh. The Durtgurl Group's used it all up.
Sarahh: Has he?
KM: She.
Sarahh: Metonymy? Onomatopoeia? Oxymoron? Parable? Paradox? Rhetoric?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Look, do you in fact have any syntactical usage at all?
KM: No. Not really. I was completely wasting your time.
Sarahh: In that case I'm going to have to write a satire.
KM: Righto.
Sarahh: What a senseless waste of Nano time.
KillerMuffin: Good morning, how can I help you?
Sarahh: I was sat at my laptop in the cafe just now and I came over word-locked.
Km: Sorry?
Sarahh: Slightly aphasic.
KM: Come again?
Sarahh: eeh I had writer's block like.
KM: Ah, writer's block.
Sarahh: In a nutshell. So I sallied forth and entered your place of discussion to negotiate the vending of some synonyms.
KM: What?
Sarahh: A simile?
KM: Hm?
Sarahh: One word for another.
KM: Ah sorry. I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player.
Sarahh: No no heaven forbid. I delight in all manifestations of the terpsichorean muse.
KM: Come again?
Sarahh: Eee. I like a nice tune, you're forced to.
KM: So he can go on playing then?
Sarahh: Certainly. Now. Could I have a nice metaphor.
KM: Sorry sir we've just sold out.
Sarahh: Tish tish. Never mind. Do you have an allusion?
KM: Usually sir, today the server broke down.
Sarahh: Never mind, I'll have a piece of hyperbole.
KM: Don't have that 'til Tuesday.
Sarahh: Not much of a discussion group is it?
KM: Finest on the Web.
Sarahh: And how do you reach that conclusion?
KM: No under 18's.
Sarahh: Well it's certainly pathetic.
Sarahh: Never mind stout Yeoman I shall take your best Euphemism.
KM: Not much call for it round here.
Sarahh: Not much call? It's the single most popular author's tool in the world.
KM: Not round here.
Sarahh: And what, pray tell, is the most popular tool here?
KM: Litotes.
Sarahh: Is it?
KM: Staggeringly popular in this part of the manor.
Sarahh: I see.
KM: Our #1 best seller.
Sarahh: Do you have any, she asked, expecting the answer 'no'
KM: I'll just have a look. (scans nearby shelves) Nnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Sarahh: Adumbration?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Alliteration?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Allusion? Analogue? Anaphora? Antistrophe? Antithesis? Aposiopesis?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Tell me. Do you in fact have any writerly help at all?
KM: Oh yes, we've got--
Sarahh: No. Don't tell me, I'm keen to guess. Bathos? Comparison? Conceit? Apostrophe? Ellipsis? Imagery? Irony?
KM: Yes. We do have irony.
Sarahh: Then I'll take a good dose of irony.
KM: It's a bit sarcastic.
Sarahh: Oh I like sarcasm.
KM: I think it's a bit more sarcastic than you'd like.
Sarahh: Look, I don't care how fucking sarcastic it is, fetch hither the disappointingly unforseen happenstance at once.
KM: Ooh. The Durtgurl Group's used it all up.
Sarahh: Has he?
KM: She.
Sarahh: Metonymy? Onomatopoeia? Oxymoron? Parable? Paradox? Rhetoric?
KM: No.
Sarahh: Look, do you in fact have any syntactical usage at all?
KM: No. Not really. I was completely wasting your time.
Sarahh: In that case I'm going to have to write a satire.
KM: Righto.
Sarahh: What a senseless waste of Nano time.
Last edited:
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
*laughs and wheezes*
That-was-FUNNY!
G
Guest
Guest
Gauche, hombre, you're brilliant (but you know that) and your wit is muy afilado, cortante y puntando (edged, cutting and pointed).
One small point from your humble admirer: Terpsichore was the muse of dance, Calliope of music.
Perdita
p.s. love the bunny, hunny; I'm King Arthur
One small point from your humble admirer: Terpsichore was the muse of dance, Calliope of music.
Perdita
p.s. love the bunny, hunny; I'm King Arthur
G
Guest
Guest
Dear Maths,
I am Python deprived but for the movies. But what does that have to do with what I said? Did Monty get the muses mixed?
Perdita
I am Python deprived but for the movies. But what does that have to do with what I said? Did Monty get the muses mixed?
Perdita
MathGirl
Cogito
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Posts
- 5,825
Dear Perdita,perdita said:
No, dear. While the dialog at the cheese shop was going on, there was also some weird sort of stringed instrument being played. Two guys dressed in a strange combination of traditional Greek and Morris costumes danced an indescribable paean to terpsichore off to the right side of the set. Both muses were fully represented, the dancing and music had nothing to do with the cheese shop, and the whole thing was .... bizarre.
MG
Ps. You really, really need to see the skit.
Pps. Well, it's back to skimming "Rogue Herrys" by Hugh Walpole for me.
Last edited:
G
Guest
Guest
I do love MP, and have seen snippets, but how do I do this? Can I walk into a video shop and ask for the cheese skit?MathGirl said:
pathetically, Perdita
Perdita
The first link is a lovely picture of the boys.
The second link is the MP page at the BBC Shop from where you can order said skits
Enjoy
Will's
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/800/flyingcircus_3.jpg
www.bbcshop.com/icat/151&bklist=icat,5,,2,525,151
The first link is a lovely picture of the boys.
The second link is the MP page at the BBC Shop from where you can order said skits
Enjoy
Will's
www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/images/800/flyingcircus_3.jpg
www.bbcshop.com/icat/151&bklist=icat,5,,2,525,151
G
Guest
Guest
Crappola. Thanks, Wills but the link didn't work. I'll check sites out on my own, or ask my sons who are up on all BritWit.
cheers, Perdita
edit: tried again, Eureka!
cheers, Perdita
edit: tried again, Eureka!
MathGirl
Cogito
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Posts
- 5,825
Dear Perdita,perdita said:
It worked for me. Bofum.
MG
Ps. Wills, Thanks. Think I'll print out that picture and frame it. Give it to my Dad for Xmas.
Pps. I've never decided which one of those characters was the real genius. Cleese, Chapman, Idle, Palin???? Maybe they all were
Last edited:
MG
They used to write in pairs, I think it was Cleese and Chapman - Idle and Palin. Each pair wrote complete skits and presented to the other for approval. The four together just fell about laughing and never completed a skit.
Don't know what the other one did - made cheese sandwiches?
Will's
They used to write in pairs, I think it was Cleese and Chapman - Idle and Palin. Each pair wrote complete skits and presented to the other for approval. The four together just fell about laughing and never completed a skit.
Don't know what the other one did - made cheese sandwiches?
Will's
Quasimodem
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 2,191
Title: Always Look on the Blight Side of Lit.
From: The Literotica Bulletin Board's Hot Mamas & Flaming Idiots.
by Quasimodem
Cheer up, MathGirl, we know what you say.
Most things of life's a fad,
‘Else it makes complexions bad.
And fetish pervert's make you blush.
When you chew upon their gristle,
Be ‘wary of flatus' whistle!
Or else, your whole life's soon to be depressed
So . . .
(the music fades into the song)
...always flee Lit's blighted smell of life.
(whistle)
Never go near olfactory strife!
While sex seems jolly rotten,
Learn where it can be boughten,
So, you can go and use your credit line.
If, when he's kneading your bumps,
You just give him lumps,
And rape is out because you brought a gun!
Then, always flee from the blight side of life.
(whistle)
Go 'way!
(other start to whistle)
Autopsy ain't worth the entrance price.
(whistle)
Since sex is merely show,
And death's the final blow.
Still, they shouldn't chuck their peckers like a spear.
Forget ‘bout going down. Cover up your ass, clown.
Enjoy it. It's your last taste, anyhow!
So, always run from the stark side of death!
Tail's no fun drawing your terminal breath.
Why has sex employed
Places where you void?
Bad sex feels good, even screwing ewe!
Though, maybe sex is dumb
Make them cackle as they come.
Because such a cumshot dickwad once was you!
This, MathGirl, is the only way to strive . . . .
(whistle)
You won't escape life a smidgeon alive . . . .
(whistle)
[ Repeat final couplet as CAMERA PULLS BACK and fades to BLACK.]
From: The Literotica Bulletin Board's Hot Mamas & Flaming Idiots.
by Quasimodem
Cheer up, MathGirl, we know what you say.
Most things of life's a fad,
‘Else it makes complexions bad.
And fetish pervert's make you blush.
When you chew upon their gristle,
Be ‘wary of flatus' whistle!
Or else, your whole life's soon to be depressed
So . . .
(the music fades into the song)
...always flee Lit's blighted smell of life.
(whistle)
Never go near olfactory strife!
While sex seems jolly rotten,
Learn where it can be boughten,
So, you can go and use your credit line.
If, when he's kneading your bumps,
You just give him lumps,
And rape is out because you brought a gun!
Then, always flee from the blight side of life.
(whistle)
Go 'way!
(other start to whistle)
Autopsy ain't worth the entrance price.
(whistle)
Since sex is merely show,
And death's the final blow.
Still, they shouldn't chuck their peckers like a spear.
Forget ‘bout going down. Cover up your ass, clown.
Enjoy it. It's your last taste, anyhow!
So, always run from the stark side of death!
Tail's no fun drawing your terminal breath.
Why has sex employed
Places where you void?
Bad sex feels good, even screwing ewe!
Though, maybe sex is dumb
Make them cackle as they come.
Because such a cumshot dickwad once was you!
This, MathGirl, is the only way to strive . . . .
(whistle)
You won't escape life a smidgeon alive . . . .
(whistle)
[ Repeat final couplet as CAMERA PULLS BACK and fades to BLACK.]
Svenskaflicka
Fountain
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2002
- Posts
- 16,142
perdita said:p.s. love the bunny, hunny; I'm King Arthur
I'm The French. (Harumph!
)Insulting, rude and arrogant? MOI?
Up yours..!
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