Furor Poeticus

[Poeticwolf]

Greetings and Welcome.
This is my little niche, my den, my warren of solace.

What is Furor Poeticus?
In the time of the Greeks, it was Inspiration. Poetic Frenzy sent from the Gods. The poet would be consumed and possessed by a God and transcend the mortal plane to speak and write and perform the purest form of true art. An expression if you will of the soul burning bright.

That is what I seek. I had it once and I crave it forever more. I found it through expression of emotion, the most intense, sensual constructs of sex. Where Trust, Honesty, Respect are pushed to their very limits of definition. Where all fantasies become real in a safe and comfortable environment. Passion reigns supreme and pleasure fountains pristine. Let down your walls and expose your inner most desires. Where you can be vulnerable and carefree in a protected environment of respect and be appreciated, nay praised, for your most bare weaknesses.

How I long for a Muse to susurrate her words of ambrosia and feed my starving soul to write...

Let us see how deep this rabbit hole dwells

 

[Poeticwolf]

A lone wolf

A lone wolf cries out at the night
only the stars and moon answer back with their light,
the night breeze chills him to the bone
on nights like these, he knows he's alone;
But still he calls out desperately above
knowing she is out there, his lost love,
Hanging on to a single hope
like a flame to a wisp of smoke,
His pleading, dying call
for him there is nothing, it is all.
1992

This is one of my earliest pieces and has always described me succinctly

 

[Poeticwolf]

A tear rests in my hand,
fallen from the sky, so grand.
I left you so far behind,
a result of my crime.
A cold, lonely wind blows through,
footsteps echo, but from who?
Realization; yes I remember,
leaves fall, like in November.
And the skies have wept,
Our memories together, I have kept.
The tear rests in my hand.
2-13-95

 

[Poeticwolf]

A Tale of No Heart
Cold wind. Your touch is known more
thoroughly to me than any lover a’fore.
You can be softer than any sigh, as now,
you caress my cheek and I know not how
I could ever hope to feel a fleshy touch from
fingers so soft. But I know the life that is spun
for my existence, and I know that God laughs.
Every touch on my cheek ignites my repasts,
memories of nightly death, a yearning to live,
to feel dawn’s warmth, energy she will give.
These thoughts are dreams, nightmares for some,
but my greatest fantasy is love. I will feel none,
no warmth, no passion for my heart is cold.
Who could love me, no destined One foretold,
to hold in an embrace, to feel the softness
of her lips, the caring of her soul, all bliss.
I stand in silent vigil, with the wind, the stone,
the mountains, and the night all cold and alone.
In comparison to my heart, each is warm,
heat unbearable to touch, to feel its form.
Wounds of my past flicker like a star,
those whom I thought to love from afar,
those that twisted lies to confuse my sight
and those that slipped my grasp like the light.
If my punctured heart could bleed, t’would cease
for the blood t’would pour in welcome release,
and be empty. For whom would dare the deep,
unbottomed, infinite abyss, my life and keep. (2000-01-17)

Music, an escape for death and a subtle melody,
everywhere, you are, to surround me in melancholy.
Carry my emotion upon your measured wings,
so all can hear the toll of the bell's rings.
The sinners whose voices are heard by none.
Death prowls the quiet tapestry for some,
the unwary destined to die during this night.
Can you hear the snow fall in the moonlight?
When the wind dies, and the song comes to its end,
The finality only a prelude to the beginning,
and your last spark of life seen by me grinning.
And still, your lifeblood continues on in my dead
body. The insanity of my desire for your blood, red.
Pain, I will feel for you after you have passed,
my emotion, akin to love, that for a night will last.

Memory, reflective emotions sharp as the broken glass,
overwhelming passions of my past, and more alas.
I was a child of Nature, existence simple and sweet,
dancing in the scorned sun's light, full and complete.
Beauty surrounded me more fulsomely than this cloak,
that the cold wind pulls, its ruby-clasp at my throat.
There I basked in all my wonder, more in love with myself,
than the many women I courted as trophies upon the shelf.
I was a lover of beauty, a heart to desire, an avid poet.
Until that heartless night, where I succumbed below it.
Seeking solace, a heart broken, in the bottom of a bottle,
blind to the hand, fingers around my neck, as they throttle
the little bit of life left in me that night.
As if I would resist and put up a fight.
I welcomed the attack, the twin points rending my neck.
In my drunken misery, I giggled, for I was no longer a speck
maring the window of the world, an idle raindrop
slipping down the pane unnoticed. Don't stop
I pleaded, but I felt the flow ebb and thus end.
And then the real pain began, as I lay on the ground.
Bitingly cold lips, frozen seemingly in time, surround
my mouth. Aghast and repulsed at the thought
swimming to the surface, attacking one who I sought,
who could give me what I thought I wanted, death.
Biting the creature's lip, blood mixing with my breath.
Gasping, swallowing, hands like ice pin me to the dirt,
until my convulsions rip through me, blood to spurt
forth from my neck, ending in a blackness of despair.
Pushing up through, worm-infested dirt, I stare
at a world changed through my heightened sense,
and now, I seek the unknown attacker, for recompense. (2003-03)

 

[Poeticwolf]

Pain, My Muse
hear my muse, known and felt, for it is pain
your song ticks away loud during the rain
unsated, and ignored during the day
always there, scraped o'er pane of fear to play.
There once was a spot that moistened my skin,
a place on my hand which now has grown thin.
Where once a softness lived so full of light
and now betrayed by the darkness of night.
I sit on the edge upon the tower
with winter's gale clasped alone, my bower.
Overlooking memory, seeing regret
the well is empty, and hell I beget.
the fermented filled bottle down to a drop
reaching for another not caring how to stop
the stabbing knives, diff'rent only in shape
for their use leaves wounds long and agape.
cracks in the canvas for oil to seep through
the flower unable to hold its dew.
Unbristled brush painting no colored stroke
unfettered and broken, yon hopeless bloke.
In the bed with the unused second pillow
during the night, out the darkend window
a light flashes and pauses with held breath
then the rolling thunder follows with death.
The broken shards have seeped into the earth
the fire gone out, the cold within the hearth
dreamt no more, accusing voices in my head
and all hope is gone, for the tree is dead
2011-06-19

 

[Poeticwolf]

My Angel
I try to hold myself together like broken glass
but pieces of me fall through my fingers to the grass.
Forever lost to me until they pierce my feet
Only to exchange themselves for my blood complete.
There, the moon slips out from the clouds above
her light happy, full, filling me up with love.
I reach out grasping, only to pull back
at the last moment, because of the courage I lack
to be free of the chain that binds me down.
I am made to run in the cold moonlight
the wind in my fur as I hunt the world round
instead, on the cliff I howl, beaten by this fight.
The beauty of her smile spurs my heart,
weakens my bonds so they fall apart.
I have none to blame, but myself
a cage lost on the cluttered shelf.
The thought never spoken of Destiny
never knowing she who was made for me
her existence danced in my dreams
lying winsomely next to bubbling streams.
Wondering if our thoughts ever coincide.
My truest emotions, I lock away and hide.
The only enjoyment permissible to me
is her wonderful laugh that sets me free.
4-25-1999

 

[Poeticwolf]

To Hold My Angel In My Arms
Hear me Muse, and answer this plea.
To touch the sunshine of Life, you see.
Fingertips delicate caress of petal's rose
Even these words, fragile wind compose.
Can even you touch the blue-gray sky?
or if the answer to Life is truth or a lie?
Love caged with iron bars of distance.
Begging to be together, at our insistence.
When I can't touch you, nor how to fly,
You might as well live up in the sky.
All my strength, useless ability to fight.
Our frustration of pain, because we are in sight.
To see, your wondrous beauty behind the glass,
And to hear your voice, so far away, like the past.
Desperately clinging to the empty air about me,
Struggling to touch you, making you real, my dream.
Imagine every sensation that, for us, could exist.
Wet droplet on window pane, broken with my fist.
You are like the flame, that I cannot touch, unreal.
Feel your heat, see you dance, my fate is sealed.
Your thoughts and mine, above the others all,
Alone, in a world of hate, we must walk tall.
Finally discovered, but unable to hold, why?
The cruelty of this world, Destiny, Oh fie!
I stand upon the cliff of Chance gazing to the sky.
Indomitable with my hands held up in challenge to defy
those who call themselves Fate, my truth against your lie.
Wind and rain throw down your spears, let them fly.
I will withstand your lightning and thunderings on high.
Laughing at your maelstrom, grinning as Fate will die.
And afterward, kneeling in the dirt, defeated, I will sigh.
Looking over the cliff, we are still apart, and I still can't fly.
Unchanged I remain, invincible strength of hope,
because in the pool of my tears, your feather will float.
A most delicate piece of you, my Angel, I possess.
Something I can touch, and feel you, as I caress.
Hear me Muse, Fates, Destiny, all who have Loved.
Read these words, weapons for all those who were shoved
aside and used, trodden upon and abused, and broken.
This uncuttable string, unchanging, unbreakable token.
For all those who searched for happiness, shed a tear.
You are not alone. Those of Deceit, I, you should fear.
When next it rains, put your finger to the drop of memory.
For those who have Loved, and not lost, join my armory.
When you feel alone, put your hand to your chest,
and there, feel your heart and mine, and all the rest.
When you lose hope, read my words from above,
and know, without doubt, that you are the One I Love.
April 5, 2003

 

[Poeticwolf]

 

[Poeticwolf]

The haste in which we disperse
From our happy unions to our melancholic life.
We have acted out these plays, the lines we rehearse,
Desperately seeking love, in the end we get strife.
But now we find each other,
Kindred souls flocking together.
So alike we are that it dazzles
The mind, for there are no hassles.
You are the bloom of the rose,
Your beauty of heart, breathtaking to behold.
And I the stem that holds you up to the sky,
My indomitable strength, wit, and humor, sly.
For you see, I believe now we are a whole.
Two separate pieces joined in one soul.
Only the Fates could contrive such a feat,
For us we are inseparable, we are complete.
You have touched my heart, feathery dove
And I yours, with my poetic words of love.
Please, I beg of you, never let go
For we have both lived down in a hole.
But now we have a bond that no one can sever,
I am yours, you are mine, Always…and Forever.
12-23-2000

 

[Poeticwolf]

Tomorrow Fades Away
articulate fingers delicately caress a spanish guitar
sounds strummed through history reach back far
melodies of happiness vibrating a myriad of chords
plethora of lights racing the edges of ancient swords
companionship together, for a time creating memory
taken for granted the music we created as soliloquy
frustrated, clouded judgement and masculine ego
a garden of lies and deceit are the seeds I grow
her ignored pleas of emotion fall on his deaf ears
aches, pains, suffocating foulness so vile it sears
throat, lungs, stomache, and heart; all are constricted
yet more suffering there is with fears of being evicted
hurt feelings and harsh words yelled that have nothing to say
like the bubbling foam in the stream, tomorrow fades away

In the silence of the night, he watches her angelic sleep
tenderly reaching out to caress her cheek and feel her peace
Fear of separation, parting fingertips slipping away
afraid to acknowledge what is happening as it passes this day
realization blazes down and burns through the frost
Now the fear is realized, because it is known all is lost
division of material possessions like scattered leaves in the wind
a room full of people, and yet alone, none rank as your friend
a barren tree, where the lyrical bird sings no more
and deep inside a gaping maw of emptiness not felt before
memories and dreams alike are the wisps of fog before the day
tendrils of hope dissipate from the anger, tomorrow fades away

Lonely acceptance begins the solitary trek through this life
plunging beneath the surface for every step of pain that is so rife
Now we wander the trails of life empty and alone,
left behind with abandonment my friend and home.
Loss of a loved one to face life with a fake smile,
a hole inside your being that no words can beguile.
Waiting at the candle-lit table for one who doesn't come,
watching others and seeing eyes of romance, their night's just begun,
leaving, the glass is half empty and your night is done
You are the stranger that passes by unnoticed by all, but some.
The intimacy of the others seem to surround and drown you,
every laugh, every soft touch, reminders stab so deeply through
The music and laughter lessen, but at the door you stay,
paused, hoping for a last chance, but tomorrow fades away

Through the empty hall, now dark, and upon the favored table
the familiar vase of roses, dead, the writing faded on the label.
The pattering of the evening rain, filling the void of silent pain
the distant flash and rumble of the storm, nothing will be the same.
The salty tears and emotional pangs that makes our body tremble
unstoppable moist crystals, that pieces of our heart most resemble
Curled and holding ourselves tightly, pleading to deaf ears, at all cost
seeking retribution or justification in our regrets, knowing we lost
In the bed we made is where we should lie, how soon we forget
the pleasures and affections taken for granted, indifference we beget
Realization more deeply felt and misery so vividly clear
to have loved and lost, two opposite emotions, yet so near.
We all hope and dream, of children and families yet to be
of so many firsts and special moments to be remembered happily.
Only to let it slip away, we are abandoned so quick in a day
we die inside, we lose ourselves, when tomorrow fades away.
2010-01-27

 

[Poeticwolf]

Gazing up at the incomplete moon
neither full nor empty, tis a boon.
Inside the barless prison I hear
the distant approaching storm, I fear.
Brown fractures through memory glass,
green foliage feeling nothing alas.
And further the thin, blue ribbon flows
sinuous and reflective, wandering as it goes.
No solace resides at the bottom of the pool,
only the rocks thrown at others by a fool.
Stones of regrets, a silent burden to carry,
no lithe fingers ripple this pond, once merry.
Even the pen of others lacks luster and emotion,
a great swath of fiction, to overfill even the ocean.
Unseen symbols are carried through the air
beauty to sadness and solitude to love, despair.

I have wandered down many a trail,
and felt the inviting breeze so frail,
to discover a hidden rose so bold,
her delicate beauty I’d dare to hold,
if only the distance were not so far,
resignedly I gaze upon yonder star

I alone travel upon this trail of sighs,
cobbled with the stones of her lies.
I drink from the pool of regret
Choices made in haste to beset

I have spoken the vows lyrically
And settled for this bed of misery
Secretly searching and wandering
For an angel, but not she I’m honoring

Love without passion and water not wet
Eroticism dreamed of but not realized yet
I’m doomed to kiss her unclean skin
Every course empty again and again

Accosted by that most foul and unkempt
Repeated pleas fail without contempt
Heedless ignorance thrives however lame
Resigned, fallen and hopeless, no shame

One night, to one moment and I deceived
The intended act so simple and unbelieved
Forming the chain I am bonded and spent
Her designs for our future and I relent

Giving all I have I am just skin and bone
Lying in the occupied bed, still I am alone
My failures and troubles forcing my apology
Never matters that the noise is no soliloquy

Never understanding why the stream doesn’t flow
Incapable to feel how subtle the wind can blow
Unrealized music it is not possible to hear
The unseen expanse exists yet we lie so near

Missing her, the one unmet and unknown
Waiting to feel once again her light unshown
Aching for some escape, this prison, this jail
Her gentle words the key upon the breeze so frail

Are there truly no others who feel this pain?
The memory of a kiss gently placed in the rain
A rose petal of velvety caress and scented desire
Do you want to feel the heat blazing from the fire?

Your countenance framing the beauty of your soul
The light of your eyes warming me in my hole
Hinted thoughts of pleasure and passion left unsaid
But who would tempt, this dark, dank hole of the dead?
10-24-21

 

[Poeticwolf]

 

[Poeticwolf]

Complete Me,
The stars have thrown down their spears,
And the heavens have shed their tears.
But tonight something is missing in tone,
The cosmos is incomplete...and alone.
And there it exists, but far away.
‘Tis felt in the future, but not today.
Feathery wings akin to that of the dove,
Comforting feelings of touching our love.
The budding rose that displays its beauty,
My ‘legiance unto thee, my forsworn duty.
Every petal a delicate new gift to see
Awaiting its bloom, and you to complete me.
We are like the hawk circling high
You the air lifting me up and we fly.
Always the light around us, we are free
Bathing us in beauty, please complete me.
Every day for us a new petal is shown,
Every night our hearts travel home.
Closer to when the rose shall bloom
Its magnificent beauty is coming soon.
You are my blanket, cover me...
You are my angel, protect me...
I am your valiant wolf, come see...
And we shall be complete together...complete me.
6-5-2000

 

[Poeticwolf]

 

[Poeticwolf]

To have lost Love
I have wandered, hunted, and howled.
Now I have hurt, lost, and am cowed.
I have fought, screamed, and yelled.
Now alone, empty in misery, I am felled.

Words and promises I spoke, so long ago.
Broken shards by my hand I laid low.
Flowers of beauty, rejected and turned to dust.
My holy bright armor tainted, left to rust.

Those things I wrote, words that seem so hollow.
Each promise a trail of pain that I must follow.
Every breath I take, a constricting immense labor.
To know how I have failed and lost your special favor.

No misery, nor anguish have I felt compares to this.
My inner being gone, because it is You I miss.
Worst of all this, it does not amount to the pain,
Or injustice I caused You, left alone, abused, and slain.

I cannot forgive myself for abusing You, my flower.
You were my eternal rose, to cherish at every hour.
My perfect angel of beauty, glistening in the moon light
For You I am fighting to keep, howling in pain every night.

Once I promised You, if You would touch your heart,
No matter the distance, to feel our Love never part.
Now I am scared, feeling nothing from You but fear.
Silence surrounds me, your voice quiet, I cannot hear.

I feel so stretched and dry, like the taut, thick rope.
All my thoughts casting about searching for any hope.
I am desperate, for You I Love and most of all seek.
I miss You, and now the tear is on my cheek.
2009-10-27

 

[Poeticwolf]

Weeping Willow
Tell me lonely willow why do you weep?
Silvered leaves hide the secrets you keep
You speak in riddles for so few to hear
If only they’d listen unraveled when near

What grey sky forlorn, do you bow
The mystery you keep, your silent vow
The hidden truths you never speak
For fear of pain will make you weak

You stand beautifully amongst dark company
The silent sentinels guarding you in summary.
What crime deserves or begets such injustice
Perhaps this is simply the way of things, it just is.

Speak to me of the burden you carry,
I will not go, nor come, nor will I tarry.
Through me your words are full of grief
And I feel why you’ve wept forever not brief.

I have an ocean of pain left from a pool of sorrow,
I look forward to remain from the yesterdays of tomorrow.
If I had wept for years and years, tell me would I know
Your anguish of seconds, settled like a blanket of snow.

Here I sit under your heavy bough and slender branch
Waiting for the ceaseless flow to stop or stanch
The dripping river of your countless tears
In the deepening dark of your coomb of fears.

The iridescent clouds may pass up above
But still I won’t leave you my slender little love
Whatever you may call me, foe or friend
I will remain, silent in vigil, until the end.
12-7-21