Georgia directory?
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we finally know what P M S stands for 
1.Pass My Shotgun
2.Psychotic Mood Shift
3.Perpetual Munching Spree
4.Puffy Mid-Section
5.People Make me Sick
6.ProvideMe withSweets
7.Pardon My Sobbing
8.Pimples May Surface
9.Pass My Sweatpants
10.Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.Plainly; Men Suck
12.Pack My Stuff
...and my favorite one...
13.Potential Murder Suspect
1.Pass My Shotgun
2.Psychotic Mood Shift
3.Perpetual Munching Spree
4.Puffy Mid-Section
5.People Make me Sick
6.ProvideMe withSweets
7.Pardon My Sobbing
8.Pimples May Surface
9.Pass My Sweatpants
10.Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.Plainly; Men Suck
12.Pack My Stuff
...and my favorite one...
13.Potential Murder Suspect
A business man got on an elevator in a tall building. When he entered
the
elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying,
;
"T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked at him,
puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by
answering, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled
her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" for a third
time. The man smiled back to her and once again answers "S-H-I-T." The
blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said,
"T-G-I-F.It means Thank Goodness It'sFriday.... Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "S-H-I-T means Sorry, Honey, It'sThursday.
the
elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying,
;
"T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked at him,
puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again. He acknowledged her remark again by
answering, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled
her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F" for a third
time. The man smiled back to her and once again answers "S-H-I-T." The
blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said,
"T-G-I-F.It means Thank Goodness It'sFriday.... Get it, duuhhh?" The man answered, "S-H-I-T means Sorry, Honey, It'sThursday.
EDITORIAL FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY
We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial about the USA.
I think this is very much worth reading and passing on. It says a lot.
Read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper. The article was written by
Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title "C"ntarea Americii
( meaning "Ode To America") on September 24, 2002 in the Romanian
newspaper Evenimentulzilei ("The Daily Event" or "News of the Day").
~An Ode to America~
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if
you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the
world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious
beliefs. Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million
people into a hand put on the heart.
Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the army, and the secret
services that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty
their bank accounts Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape
about. The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping
hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the
smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the
national flag. They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every
place and on every car a government official or the president was passing.
On every occasion, they started singing their traditional song:
"God Bless America!" I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun
for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred
floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of
the Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the
terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a target that could have
killed other hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being?
Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some
turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every phone all,
millions and millions of dollars were put in a collection aimed at
rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land?
Their galloping history? Their economic Power? Money? I tried for hours
to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk
of sounding commonplace.
I thought things over, but I reached only one conclusion...
Only freedom can work such miracles.
[This deserves to be passed around the Internet forever.]
We rarely get a chance to see another country's editorial about the USA.
I think this is very much worth reading and passing on. It says a lot.
Read this excerpt from a Romanian Newspaper. The article was written by
Mr. Cornel Nistorescu and published under the title "C"ntarea Americii
( meaning "Ode To America") on September 24, 2002 in the Romanian
newspaper Evenimentulzilei ("The Daily Event" or "News of the Day").
~An Ode to America~
Why are Americans so united? They would not resemble one another even if
you painted them all one color! They speak all the languages of the
world and form an astonishing mixture of civilizations and religious
beliefs. Still, the American tragedy turned three hundred million
people into a hand put on the heart.
Nobody rushed to accuse the White House, the army, and the secret
services that they are only a bunch of losers. Nobody rushed to empty
their bank accounts Nobody rushed out onto the streets nearby to gape
about. The Americans volunteered to donate blood and to give a helping
hand.
After the first moments of panic, they raised their flag over the
smoking ruins, putting on T-shirts, caps and ties in the colors of the
national flag. They placed flags on buildings and cars as if in every
place and on every car a government official or the president was passing.
On every occasion, they started singing their traditional song:
"God Bless America!" I watched the live broadcast and rerun after rerun
for hours listening to the story of the guy who went down one hundred
floors with a woman in a wheelchair without knowing who she was, or of
the Californian hockey player, who gave his life fighting with the
terrorists and prevented the plane from hitting a target that could have
killed other hundreds or thousands of people.
How on earth were they able to respond united as one human being?
Imperceptibly, with every word and musical note, the memory of some
turned into a modern myth of tragic heroes. And with every phone all,
millions and millions of dollars were put in a collection aimed at
rewarding not a man or a family, but a spirit, which no money can buy.
What on earth can unite the Americans in such a way? Their land?
Their galloping history? Their economic Power? Money? I tried for hours
to find an answer, humming songs and murmuring phrases with the risk
of sounding commonplace.
I thought things over, but I reached only one conclusion...
Only freedom can work such miracles.
[This deserves to be passed around the Internet forever.]
SpankMyMonkey
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
- Posts
- 457
A great big fat GOOD MORNING to all.
DA....I have a great recipe that requires strawberries, kiwi, whipped cream and Angel Food Cake. Yummmmmmmmmy!
Well my three-week-old decided aging last night that he did not want anyone in the neighbourhood to sleep. My boy screams like you are killing him. My other boy sleeps through the whole thing.
Damn I am tired....my wifie is a trooper!!!!!!
A little sick humour to get the morning started....I got this from Ernie this morning....
<SNIP>
Life in the Marine Corps generally sucked, especially when it came to women. I don't know what the official ratio is between men and women in the MC, but I would guess it was 100 men to every wookie. When you did run into an opportunity to bang one of these fine specimens of hoe, you had to figure out how many of your friends had banged her as well. Needless to say, I stayed away from the wm's (sexual harassment charges were also common.)
So, when my neighbor, we'll call him "Frank", invites me to Charleston to hook up with these two freaky chics, I jumped at the chance. The drive from Beaufort to Charleston is a boring one, so we supplement by downing beers. After an hour or so, we get to the mall to meet the ladies.
Frank spots the car that they are driving and goes over while I piss in the near empty parking lot. I walk over to the car and notice that there is only one freak in the car. Frank then tells me that the other freak couldn't make it. Fuck. Now I'm a third wheel.
Frank was right about the chic being a freak. She's covered head to toe in piercings. Nose, brow, lip, ears, cheek, and she tells us about her nip and clit rings. Now I grew up in Austin, and Austin can be a bit of a hippie/freak kind of town. I'm used to this kind of thing. This chick was a FREAK!
Oh, and she's wearing a sweater in hot and humid June. Remember this, I'll get to it later.
So I'm pissed. Frank and I drove to Charleston in my vehicle, so I couldn't leave his ass there. My buzz was starting to wear thin, so I decided to tag along and get good and retarded. Besides, we were going to stay at the Air Force base in their cheap motel, which was perfect for sleeping off a drunken stupor. We get in my Nissan truck and follow this chic to downtown Charleston.
We must have hit 80% of the establishments that served liquor/beer. We would go in a place, have two or three drinks, and head off to the next bar. While we are in the bars, I notice that the sweater the freak had was either on her, or over her left arm. Again, I pay no attention to this because I know women can be weird about being cold in 100 degree weather. At the same time, Frank and the freak are getting more and more comfy with each other. Now I know I won't get any tonight. Frank wins this battle. I am 165 dripping wet and by no means a Greek god. Frank on the other hand is 6'2", 190, built like a race horse, blonde, a perfect Arian German example. Hitler would have shit if he saw Frank.
We finally end our evening at a local dance club. Frank and the freak are getting freaky on the dance floor and I'm trying to pick up women by buying them beer. On a side note, I did meet my future wife that night, in that dance club, by buying her a beer, but that's another story. I'm getting shot down left and right and I'm to the point where I can no longer stand upright unless I hold on to something. I tell Frank and the freak that it is time to bail and we go our merry way. In the parking lot she tells us that she doesn't want to stay at the base and that we can all stay at her apartment that she shares with her brother. Fine, I don't care anymore. All I want to do is crash. The whiskey shots, beer, and mudslides that this freaky chic kept buying us isn't sitting real well in my gut. So I agree and off we go to the freak house.
We arrive at the apartment and she tells us before we go in that her brother is a class act fuck head. Major dick. And he sleeps on the couch in the living room. We ever so quietly sneak into her room and shut the door. This is where things turn, well......freaky.
She slips into a long night shirt and just panties. I'm on the floor and Frank is on her bed, which is also on the floor. She starts to tell us about how her clit ring got infected and she had to take it out. She tells us about the up-the-butt action she has gotten with foreign objects. Frank at this point is all fired up and ready to lay pipe. The last thing I heard was how Frank didn't need a rubber because her pussy smelled fine. She literally put a finger in her pus and took a whiff and allowed him to sniff as well. She offers me a smell, but I'm already starting to feel sick from the booze, and to be honest, this chic just doesn't do it for me.
I announce that I'm going to find a couch/chair or any other place where asshole brother won't try to kill me in the middle of the night, and pass the fuck out. She tells me that I will have to stay in her room. I'm starting to get the dry heaves and I didn't think I could handle the smell of sex at that point (on a side note, her air conditioner was broke). I cannot stay in her room. I tell Frank that I'm going to the base to get a room and that I'll call his ass in the morning to get him. I go to my truck, puke, drive off and after several wrong turns, I arrive at the front desk of the base motel.
The desk airman tells me they have no rooms. Fuuucccckkkk. Fine. I tell the deskman that I'm going to park my truck in the motel parking lot, lock the door, and pass out. Now I have slept in some fucked up places in my time in the MC, but after I awoke that morning, I wished that I was back in the mountains of California with a sleeping bag on the hard ass ground. My back was killing me.
I take off, find a phone, and call Frank. There's no answer. Fine. I was getting hungry so I hit the local fast-food joint and gulp down a heap of greasy shit. Back to the phone to call Frank. Still no fucking answer. By this time the lump of greasy shit that I ate was demanding that it wanted out, the long way. I run into the gas station where I was making the call and proceeded to shit out a night of hell fire and other objects that I didn't want to know what they were. Now I'm just fucking mad. I go back to the phone and call again. By now I've been at this for two hours. I decide that if I don't get Frank, I'm fucking going to leave his Arian ass and let his freak hoe bring him back to Beaufort. Freak answers the phone and I tell her to put Frank on. I tell him to get his ass outside the apartment, NOW, or I'm going to leave him. I drive to the apartment and there's Frank, half naked and all kinds of scratched up.
He hops in and we take off. At this point I expected Frank to tell me all about his glorious night with the freak. That's what men do to each other when one has gotten laid and the other hasn't. Instead he starts off by saying I have to hook up with this girl, and when I do, report back to him and tell him if I see anything "weird." He rants this for 45 minutes or so and won't tell me why I should see anything "weird." He finally breaks down and gives me the skinny.
After I split, they proceed to rumba horizontal style. No shit. They did this, they did that. Everything that you would expect a drunk Marine and a freaky freak to do. He gets to a moment during their evening that he wants to titty fuck this freak. She agrees and he hops on her chest, presses her titties together and proceeds to hump. Now frank was just as drunk as I was the night before so one would conclude that he was unable to keep his balance while holding her titties and fucking them at the same time. He asks her to press her titties together. Her arms are under the pillow which her head is on. She objects and tells him to keep fucking. He asks her again to hold her titties together. She objects, again. "Come on baby, hold them titties together for me," Frank says. "I can't," says the freak. "Why," says Frank. "Because I only have half of a left arm," she snaps back. She whips the thing out and holy shit!, a fucking baby leg for a left arm. It was only elbow length and had little fat, nubby baby toes at the end for fingers and they moved! I pull the truck over. He has my attention now. After Frank gains his composure, she tries to convince him to let her stick that thing for an arm in his ass. She kept going on and on about how she's done this before and all the other guys have loved it. Has a special lube for it and everything. Frank says that he didn't allow her to do it, but he had this look of "yeah, I did that nasty baby leg thing," on his face.
The whole time while we were out, neither Frank or myself noticed the retarded arm. Even when Frank was boning her doggie, he didn't see it. She hid it that well.
Moral of the story: If you're in Charleston in the middle of summer and you run into a pierced freaky chic with a sweater, don't be surprised if she wants to stick her arm up your ass.
</SNIP>
Lick (i)
Lick (i)
Lick (i)
Lick (i)
Spank
DA....I have a great recipe that requires strawberries, kiwi, whipped cream and Angel Food Cake. Yummmmmmmmmy!
Well my three-week-old decided aging last night that he did not want anyone in the neighbourhood to sleep. My boy screams like you are killing him. My other boy sleeps through the whole thing.
Damn I am tired....my wifie is a trooper!!!!!!
A little sick humour to get the morning started....I got this from Ernie this morning....
<SNIP>
Life in the Marine Corps generally sucked, especially when it came to women. I don't know what the official ratio is between men and women in the MC, but I would guess it was 100 men to every wookie. When you did run into an opportunity to bang one of these fine specimens of hoe, you had to figure out how many of your friends had banged her as well. Needless to say, I stayed away from the wm's (sexual harassment charges were also common.)
So, when my neighbor, we'll call him "Frank", invites me to Charleston to hook up with these two freaky chics, I jumped at the chance. The drive from Beaufort to Charleston is a boring one, so we supplement by downing beers. After an hour or so, we get to the mall to meet the ladies.
Frank spots the car that they are driving and goes over while I piss in the near empty parking lot. I walk over to the car and notice that there is only one freak in the car. Frank then tells me that the other freak couldn't make it. Fuck. Now I'm a third wheel.
Frank was right about the chic being a freak. She's covered head to toe in piercings. Nose, brow, lip, ears, cheek, and she tells us about her nip and clit rings. Now I grew up in Austin, and Austin can be a bit of a hippie/freak kind of town. I'm used to this kind of thing. This chick was a FREAK!
Oh, and she's wearing a sweater in hot and humid June. Remember this, I'll get to it later.
So I'm pissed. Frank and I drove to Charleston in my vehicle, so I couldn't leave his ass there. My buzz was starting to wear thin, so I decided to tag along and get good and retarded. Besides, we were going to stay at the Air Force base in their cheap motel, which was perfect for sleeping off a drunken stupor. We get in my Nissan truck and follow this chic to downtown Charleston.
We must have hit 80% of the establishments that served liquor/beer. We would go in a place, have two or three drinks, and head off to the next bar. While we are in the bars, I notice that the sweater the freak had was either on her, or over her left arm. Again, I pay no attention to this because I know women can be weird about being cold in 100 degree weather. At the same time, Frank and the freak are getting more and more comfy with each other. Now I know I won't get any tonight. Frank wins this battle. I am 165 dripping wet and by no means a Greek god. Frank on the other hand is 6'2", 190, built like a race horse, blonde, a perfect Arian German example. Hitler would have shit if he saw Frank.
We finally end our evening at a local dance club. Frank and the freak are getting freaky on the dance floor and I'm trying to pick up women by buying them beer. On a side note, I did meet my future wife that night, in that dance club, by buying her a beer, but that's another story. I'm getting shot down left and right and I'm to the point where I can no longer stand upright unless I hold on to something. I tell Frank and the freak that it is time to bail and we go our merry way. In the parking lot she tells us that she doesn't want to stay at the base and that we can all stay at her apartment that she shares with her brother. Fine, I don't care anymore. All I want to do is crash. The whiskey shots, beer, and mudslides that this freaky chic kept buying us isn't sitting real well in my gut. So I agree and off we go to the freak house.
We arrive at the apartment and she tells us before we go in that her brother is a class act fuck head. Major dick. And he sleeps on the couch in the living room. We ever so quietly sneak into her room and shut the door. This is where things turn, well......freaky.
She slips into a long night shirt and just panties. I'm on the floor and Frank is on her bed, which is also on the floor. She starts to tell us about how her clit ring got infected and she had to take it out. She tells us about the up-the-butt action she has gotten with foreign objects. Frank at this point is all fired up and ready to lay pipe. The last thing I heard was how Frank didn't need a rubber because her pussy smelled fine. She literally put a finger in her pus and took a whiff and allowed him to sniff as well. She offers me a smell, but I'm already starting to feel sick from the booze, and to be honest, this chic just doesn't do it for me.
I announce that I'm going to find a couch/chair or any other place where asshole brother won't try to kill me in the middle of the night, and pass the fuck out. She tells me that I will have to stay in her room. I'm starting to get the dry heaves and I didn't think I could handle the smell of sex at that point (on a side note, her air conditioner was broke). I cannot stay in her room. I tell Frank that I'm going to the base to get a room and that I'll call his ass in the morning to get him. I go to my truck, puke, drive off and after several wrong turns, I arrive at the front desk of the base motel.
The desk airman tells me they have no rooms. Fuuucccckkkk. Fine. I tell the deskman that I'm going to park my truck in the motel parking lot, lock the door, and pass out. Now I have slept in some fucked up places in my time in the MC, but after I awoke that morning, I wished that I was back in the mountains of California with a sleeping bag on the hard ass ground. My back was killing me.
I take off, find a phone, and call Frank. There's no answer. Fine. I was getting hungry so I hit the local fast-food joint and gulp down a heap of greasy shit. Back to the phone to call Frank. Still no fucking answer. By this time the lump of greasy shit that I ate was demanding that it wanted out, the long way. I run into the gas station where I was making the call and proceeded to shit out a night of hell fire and other objects that I didn't want to know what they were. Now I'm just fucking mad. I go back to the phone and call again. By now I've been at this for two hours. I decide that if I don't get Frank, I'm fucking going to leave his Arian ass and let his freak hoe bring him back to Beaufort. Freak answers the phone and I tell her to put Frank on. I tell him to get his ass outside the apartment, NOW, or I'm going to leave him. I drive to the apartment and there's Frank, half naked and all kinds of scratched up.
He hops in and we take off. At this point I expected Frank to tell me all about his glorious night with the freak. That's what men do to each other when one has gotten laid and the other hasn't. Instead he starts off by saying I have to hook up with this girl, and when I do, report back to him and tell him if I see anything "weird." He rants this for 45 minutes or so and won't tell me why I should see anything "weird." He finally breaks down and gives me the skinny.
After I split, they proceed to rumba horizontal style. No shit. They did this, they did that. Everything that you would expect a drunk Marine and a freaky freak to do. He gets to a moment during their evening that he wants to titty fuck this freak. She agrees and he hops on her chest, presses her titties together and proceeds to hump. Now frank was just as drunk as I was the night before so one would conclude that he was unable to keep his balance while holding her titties and fucking them at the same time. He asks her to press her titties together. Her arms are under the pillow which her head is on. She objects and tells him to keep fucking. He asks her again to hold her titties together. She objects, again. "Come on baby, hold them titties together for me," Frank says. "I can't," says the freak. "Why," says Frank. "Because I only have half of a left arm," she snaps back. She whips the thing out and holy shit!, a fucking baby leg for a left arm. It was only elbow length and had little fat, nubby baby toes at the end for fingers and they moved! I pull the truck over. He has my attention now. After Frank gains his composure, she tries to convince him to let her stick that thing for an arm in his ass. She kept going on and on about how she's done this before and all the other guys have loved it. Has a special lube for it and everything. Frank says that he didn't allow her to do it, but he had this look of "yeah, I did that nasty baby leg thing," on his face.
The whole time while we were out, neither Frank or myself noticed the retarded arm. Even when Frank was boning her doggie, he didn't see it. She hid it that well.
Moral of the story: If you're in Charleston in the middle of summer and you run into a pierced freaky chic with a sweater, don't be surprised if she wants to stick her arm up your ass.
</SNIP>
Lick (i)
Lick (i)
Lick (i)
Lick (i)
Spank
atlgator
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2003
- Posts
- 338
WOW.. lot of catching up to do.. but it also involved alot of scrolling. Maybe ya'll could start a new thread just for jokes. Then you can share them with everyone on LIT. *S*
SGA.. hey.. a get together would be fun... so are ya'll planning one?? Or why don't we all just go to the Carolina Get Together in Charlotte?? They have lots of activities already planned, a hotel, and lots of people on the attendance list. May be worth the drive up there.
Bama.. How are you doing sweetie?? Looks like you have some heavy rain over your way.
Naughty... always on the go huh??? Must be putting that cam to work alot..
SGA.. hey.. a get together would be fun... so are ya'll planning one?? Or why don't we all just go to the Carolina Get Together in Charlotte?? They have lots of activities already planned, a hotel, and lots of people on the attendance list. May be worth the drive up there.
Bama.. How are you doing sweetie?? Looks like you have some heavy rain over your way.
Naughty... always on the go huh??? Must be putting that cam to work alot..
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Goodmorning everyone! Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday.
Gator.. I am reserving my cam use for you.
Jay... Just remember... the weeks almost over.
Gator.. I am reserving my cam use for you.
Jay... Just remember... the weeks almost over.
Silverlyn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2003
- Posts
- 1,314
bamagirl said:we finally know what P M S stands for
1.Pass My Shotgun
2.Psychotic Mood Shift
3.Perpetual Munching Spree
4.Puffy Mid-Section
5.People Make me Sick
6.ProvideMe withSweets
7.Pardon My Sobbing
8.Pimples May Surface
9.Pass My Sweatpants
10.Pissy Mood Syndrome
11.Plainly; Men Suck
12.Pack My Stuff
...and my favorite one...
13.Potential Murder Suspect
Ya forgot one..
Puttin up with men's stupidity!!!
Silverlyn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2003
- Posts
- 1,314
Mornin everyone!!
Hope everyone's mornin is goin well so far.... I should be gettin some stuff done this morning or atleast cleanin the house.. but I am bein lazy
Jay... Yeah.. I'm glad it's almost the weekend for me.. tomorrow is my last day of work for the week.. except I do have some massages to do on friday.. but atleast i'll be done with the other job... Don't work too hard
Gator.. Where ya been? Haven't talked to ya in a bit... Hope things are well with ya..
Bama.. Hope ya have a good day and got some rest last night..
Everyone else have a happy hump day!!!
*huggles and snuggles*
-Silver
Hope everyone's mornin is goin well so far....
I should be gettin some stuff done this morning or atleast cleanin the house.. but I am bein lazy Jay... Yeah.. I'm glad it's almost the weekend for me.. tomorrow is my last day of work for the week.. except I do have some massages to do on friday.. but atleast i'll be done with the other job... Don't work too hard
Gator.. Where ya been? Haven't talked to ya in a bit... Hope things are well with ya..
Bama.. Hope ya have a good day and got some rest last night..
Everyone else have a happy hump day!!!
*huggles and snuggles*
-Silver
sga_swingers
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2003
- Posts
- 320
Good morning all. HAPPY HUMP DAY!!
Gator, Happy monday! You got the worst part of the day behind you. You got through the Atl. traffic on a rainy day without an accident.
I guess we will have to get this get together rolling. We will try and figure out a date by middle of next week.
DA, more than one can view that cam at a time. Don't forget us.
Spank, Well we just don't know about you. We kinda like to come here to start the day off with a smile but your stories are starting us off with a sour stomach.
Bama, Lucky says women are always PMSing:
PreMS
PostMS
PresentMS
says that only leaves a man one week out the month of peace
Jay, It's almost over, relax
Gator, Happy monday! You got the worst part of the day behind you. You got through the Atl. traffic on a rainy day without an accident.
I guess we will have to get this get together rolling. We will try and figure out a date by middle of next week.
DA, more than one can view that cam at a time. Don't forget us.
Spank, Well we just don't know about you. We kinda like to come here to start the day off with a smile but your stories are starting us off with a sour stomach.
Bama, Lucky says women are always PMSing:
PreMS
PostMS
PresentMS
says that only leaves a man one week out the month of peace
Jay, It's almost over, relax
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
sga_swingers said:
One could never forget you two.
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Penis Requests a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work period
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Marriage Requirments
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions."
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."
Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.
"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Poconos along with a 40 acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of Italy."
The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in Italy, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"
The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.
"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10 inch penis."
A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New York. The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions."
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."
Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult situation.
"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part of the Poconos along with a 40 acre summer home in the sweetest vineyards of Italy."
The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New York, then called another broker in Italy, and after his quick conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"
The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final request that would be impossible to live up to.
"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10 inch penis."
A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands. After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"
Good Morning ya'll
Gator its good to see you back with us. and I offered to stop posting the jokes,but they seem to like em
Spank those will sour your belly lol
silver I got to bed at 6 am lol and just woke up
lucky i give at least 2 weeks of peace
DA I love the penis one every time I read it I laugh
talking about a cam i got one last week gave to me,but rarely get on it.
Gator its good to see you back with us. and I offered to stop posting the jokes,but they seem to like em
Spank those will sour your belly lol
silver I got to bed at 6 am lol and just woke up
lucky i give at least 2 weeks of peace
DA I love the penis one every time I read it I laugh
talking about a cam i got one last week gave to me,but rarely get on it.
* Men Etiquette
Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed or
beaten by his fellow party goers.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances
a. When a heroic dog dies to save his master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' car
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"
e. When his date is using her teeth
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever, unless you actually marry her.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running
late
is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes. For a girl, you have
to
wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic
1-10 scale.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man.
In fact, even remembering your buddies birthday is optional.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're
sunning
on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...
and
it's free.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink
as
much beer as the other sports watchers.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both. That's just plain mean.
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing both
urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are
able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if
necessary.
The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have
had carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what
a big mistake it was.
Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed or
beaten by his fellow party goers.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances
a. When a heroic dog dies to save his master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' car
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game"
e. When his date is using her teeth
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits
forever, unless you actually marry her.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running
late
is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time is 6 minutes. For a girl, you have
to
wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic
1-10 scale.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another
man.
In fact, even remembering your buddies birthday is optional.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're
sunning
on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...
and
it's free.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies
until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink
as
much beer as the other sports watchers.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza,
but not both. That's just plain mean.
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing both
urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an
almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are
able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if
necessary.
The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have
had carnal drunken rampant sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and
guilty is no reason not to do it again before the discussion about what
a big mistake it was.
SpankMyMonkey
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2002
- Posts
- 457
Sorry all I will tame my morning stories down just a little.....don't want to make people sick now.
AFAICT, I am the only Peach in the north part of ATL. There have got to be other north peaches.
Anyone from the Buford - Suwanne - Sugar Hill area???
How about cigar smokers? There is a smoking event in Cumming this Friday.
I have gotta know who named 'Cumming, Georgia'...
Probably the same person that name 'Climax, Michigan'.
Spank
AFAICT, I am the only Peach in the north part of ATL. There have got to be other north peaches.
Anyone from the Buford - Suwanne - Sugar Hill area???
How about cigar smokers? There is a smoking event in Cumming this Friday.
I have gotta know who named 'Cumming, Georgia'...
Probably the same person that name 'Climax, Michigan'.
Spank
>> By the time that God made woman, he was into the
>>second week of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why
>>are you spending so much time on this one?"
>> And then God answered, "Have you seen My spec
>>sheet on her? She has to be able to run on diet Pepsi leftovers,
>>have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken
>>heart. She heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour
>>days."
>> The angel then noticed something, and reaching
>>out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a
>>leak in this model," the angel said. "I think you're trying to put
>>too much into this one."
>> "That's not a leak," God corrected, "that's a
>>tear. The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her
>>pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and
>>her pride."
>> "Woman is truly amazing."
>> "And she is! Women have strengths that amaze
>>men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold
>>happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They
>>sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh
>>when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They
>>stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer when they
>>believe there is a better solution. They go without so others can
>>have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love
>>unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when
>>their
>> friends get awards. They are happy when they hear
>>about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.
>>They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong
>>when they think there is no strength left.
>> "They know that a hug and a kiss can help to
>>heal a broken heart. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and
>>shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how
>>much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the
>>world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They have compassion
>>and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.
>>Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
>> "Are there no flaws?" the angel said.
>> "Of course, because nothing can be perfect,
>>each woman will have her unique flaws. But there's one they all
>>have in common. I've tried to get it out of the model, but not even
>>I can seem to fix it."
>> "What's that?"
>> "They all tend to forget their worth."
>>second week of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why
>>are you spending so much time on this one?"
>> And then God answered, "Have you seen My spec
>>sheet on her? She has to be able to run on diet Pepsi leftovers,
>>have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken
>>heart. She heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour
>>days."
>> The angel then noticed something, and reaching
>>out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a
>>leak in this model," the angel said. "I think you're trying to put
>>too much into this one."
>> "That's not a leak," God corrected, "that's a
>>tear. The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her
>>pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and
>>her pride."
>> "Woman is truly amazing."
>> "And she is! Women have strengths that amaze
>>men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold
>>happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They
>>sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh
>>when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They
>>stand up to injustice. They don't take 'no' for an answer when they
>>believe there is a better solution. They go without so others can
>>have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love
>>unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when
>>their
>> friends get awards. They are happy when they hear
>>about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies.
>>They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong
>>when they think there is no strength left.
>> "They know that a hug and a kiss can help to
>>heal a broken heart. Women come in all sizes, in all colors and
>>shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how
>>much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the
>>world keep turning! They bring joy and hope. They have compassion
>>and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.
>>Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
>> "Are there no flaws?" the angel said.
>> "Of course, because nothing can be perfect,
>>each woman will have her unique flaws. But there's one they all
>>have in common. I've tried to get it out of the model, but not even
>>I can seem to fix it."
>> "What's that?"
>> "They all tend to forget their worth."
Dirty_Angel26
On my knees
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2003
- Posts
- 4,999
Hello everyone! Hope your night is going well.I am about to get off this thing to watch some tv. Have a good night.
To The Special People In My Life
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When
you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the
reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient time, this
person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or
out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered
and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn
has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of
peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never
done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to
accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you
have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the palm of
His hand and Angels watch over you.
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When
you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the
reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or an inconvenient time, this
person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or
out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered
and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn
has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of
peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never
done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But...only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to
accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you
have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life. May God hold you in the palm of
His hand and Angels watch over you.
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