Georgia directory?

[bamagirl]

good morning ya'll

it looks like a beautiful day here in bama

hope everyone has a great day

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Hey Bama.. How are ya?

 

[bamagirl]

I am good hun

how r you??

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

I am good hun

how r you??

I am ok... Be even better if I didn't have to work tonight. But i am off tomorrow.

 

[bamagirl]

I work tonight
I am off fri and sat I can't wait

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Where is everyone tonight???? Bored and lonely and need some company....

 

[NotTheOtherGuy]

Hey everyone! Just stopping in to say hi..I've been real busy with things lately so I haven't really been able to get on. Hope everything is going well. Doesn't seem like anything too crazy has been going on...

DA- I hope your allergy isn't too bad! Hopefully it just fades away like it did when you were younger

 

[Jayzan]

Morning all,
Hope everyone enjoyed the great weather yesterday, supposed to be nice all week.

Angel, you know I cant tell all that in public. Besides, it would take two weeks of writing just to describe my immense feelings for you. You know I love my girls in here!!!

Hi Silver, Is life any slower today?

Bama, hope your week is rounding out nicely.

NOT, good to hear from you, maybe you need to slow down too!!I'm thinking a vacation for all would be nice.

Everyone have a great day!!

 

[LebenOjanen]

Heylas all,

Jayzan: Exit 169 off I-75, can't miss it On Riverside. (one also wonders about the Exit number )

Anyone heading this way today? Some friends and I are going to Starcadia to dick around for a while, sometime around 5 or so.

Yeah I know, woohoo starcadia! *note the sarcasm!* But hey, this is MACON, not much to do

Other than that, I'm good, still got a headache that I've had for like 2 days? Guess I shouldn't drink so much at night

We need to liven this board up a bit, instead of just "morning" and "g'nite" posts! So, comon, you guys/gals have any hobbies? (other than finger frolicking, beating the meat, and rocking the bed, of course).

Myself, and I know this sounds absolutely absurd, I collect Animal Crossing e-reader cards

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Goodmorning everyone! Looks like I am late in posting this morning.... My little one let me sleep until 8:30 this morning. But I am still tired.... Hope everyone enjoys their day..


Jay.... It would take you that long to describe your feelings? WOW

NOT... Right now I seem to be allergic to everything.. Milk, my jewelry... hoping it goes away soon...


Leben.. Goodmorning sweetie.....Hobbies? As I pointed out before I do so love picking on Jay... But i suspect he loves it too..
Other than that... I love takeing pictures of old houses...beautiful scenery.. and I also write short stories

 

[LebenOjanen]

Hurry! Especially since I learned that to get a custom avatar, I have to have 100 posts

And btw, I've never had to tweak a sig this much.. >< damned vBulletin

still messing with the sig

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Hurry! Especially since I learned that to get a custom avatar, I have to have 100 posts

And btw, I've never had to tweak a sig this much.. >< damned vBulletin

Hurry?

 

[LebenOjanen]

That should have been read something like "Hurry post!"

Sorry, I'm just...used to IM's. Forums are slow for me ><

I need instant gratification!!

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

That should have been read something like "Hurry post!"

Sorry, I'm just...used to IM's. Forums are slow for me ><

I need instant gratification!!

LOL...

 

[bamagirl]

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive
cigars then insured them against fire among other things.
Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars

and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the
policy, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of
small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that
the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued....and won!
In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company
that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the

lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that
the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them

against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable
fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance
company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his
loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the
insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being

used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his

insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a
$24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent
Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

 

[bamagirl]

Ambulance crew ask patient for directions

A crash victim had to give an ambulance crew directions to the
hospital after they went 60 miles in the wrong direction.
Rosalind Stillwell was handed a map and asded to help find a
hospital expecting her for further treatment.
The 24-year-old had broken eight ribs and her collarbone in a
car accident and was being transferred from Royal United
Hospital in Bath to nearer her home.
She slept for the first part of the planned journey to
Shoreham-by-Sea, West Sussex. But when she woke up the
crew told her they were near Shoreham, in Kent, says The Sun.
Rosalind said: "The paramedic said, 'Don't worry, we're ten
minutes away'. I panicked and knew it was not the right route.
I said, 'I told you we were going to Sussex'. Then they stopped,
showed me a map and asked me how to get there. It sounds
funny, but it was farcical. I was in a lot of pain and didn't need
this on top of everything else."
She arrived at Southlands Hospital two hours late.
Rosalind said: "After the crew put me in bed they left pretty
smartly. They realized the blunder. When I told my family and
friends they were horrified, even though we tried to see the
funny side."
Wings, the company that privides transport for NHS and private
patients in the Bath area, says it will investigate the incident.

 

[bamagirl]

This is just too good not to pass on. When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out >on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying, "Hello." I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his >car window ... so, I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole, I had his >number on speed dial), I thought I had bet ter call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is." "Can you tell me where I can see it?" "Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car s parked right out in front." "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" "Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up >with an idea. I called Asshole #1 "Hello." "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) "Are you still there?" he asked. "Yeah," I said. "Stop calling me," he screamed. "Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked. "My name is Don Hansen." "Yeah? Where do you live?" "Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black >Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole." Then I called Asshole #2 "Hello?" he said. "Hello, asshole," I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are?" "You'll what?" I said. "I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed. I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street. There I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew. NOW, I feel better Anger management at its very best

 

[NotTheOtherGuy]

Morning everyone!

Bama - HAHA..sometimes it's the true stories that are the most funny! Although I feel kinda dirty for being on the side of an insurance company...

Jay- Vacation it is! Where should we all go?? Hmmm... Six Flags over Georgia is in my price range

Have a great day everyone!

 

[bamagirl]

good morning NOT

here is you another one

REDNECK RULES FOR CALLING ?SHOTGUN?


If there are to be two or more passengers when traveling by
automobile,
one must call out "shotgun" in order to secure for
him/herself the
right-front passenger seat. This seat is obviously the most desirable.

It offers such advantages as:

~ more leg room
~ own personal vanity mirror
~ ease of egress and ingress
~ social prestige
~ panoramic view
~ air-bag safety feature
~ better aim for throwing beer bottles at stop signs
~ rapid exit in case of beer-retainment reversal

Historically, the shotgun position originated during the days of the
horse-drawn wagon. Since the driver had to handle the reins, another
person with a shotgun was needed next to him/her to fend off attacks
from bandits, outlaws, and galloping Amway salesmen.

The Rules:

1. Even if the other passenger is your grandmother with a broken leg,
if
she does not call "shotgun" first, he r butt is going into
the back seat.

2. If two people call "shotgun" at the same time, a
fistfight will
determine the ultimate winner--unless the contestants are girls. In
that
case, the trip is put off while the men get to watch them fight, or a
"pout-off" can be held instead.

3. If the trip is interrupted for over 4 minutes (ie. fuel or potty
stops), the "shotgun" passenger loses all of his/her
rights, and open
season on the coveted position begins again.

4. A "shotgun" winner must expect and be willing to put up
with a large portion of physical harassment from the backseat
"shotgun"
loser. Scratching, hair pulling, and attempts at strangulation are all
fully legal and come with the territory.

5. Pre-'shotgun" calling is strictly prohibited and punishable
by worse
that what you get for pulling the tag off a mattress.

6. A "shotgun" call from a 265-pound linebacker
automatically cancels
out a "shotgun" call from anybody else.

 

[LebenOjanen]

Bama, good stuff Keep it coming

 

[bamagirl]

Come on in and set a spell,
73's de WA4PKL, Charlie

-----
Dysfunctional section at Hallmark

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that
you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...

(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am....
(Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go....
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need
it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy....
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was
only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but
wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your wedding day!...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.



hows this one LebenOjanen ?

 

[bamagirl]

I am bored can you tell??



>>>Retirement Bonus
>>>
>>>The Navy found they had too many officers and
>>>decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They
>>>promised any officer who volunteered for
>>>retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch
>>>measured in a straight line between any two
>>>points in his body. The officer got to choose
>>>what those two points would be. The first officer
>>>who accepted, asked that he be measured from the
>>>top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was
>>>measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus
>>>of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a
>>>little smarter and asked to be measured from the
>>>tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He
>>>walked out with $96,000. The third one was a
>>>grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would
>>>like to be measured replied "from the tip of my
>>>penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the
>>>pension man that he might want to reconsider;
>>>explaining about the nice big checks the previous
>>>two officers had received. But the old Chief
>>>insisted and they decided to go along with him,
>>>provided the measurement was taken by a medical
>>>officer. The medical officer arrived and
>>>instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did.
>>>The medical officer placed the tape measure on
>>>the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work
>>>back. My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are
>>>your testicles?" The old Chief calmly replied . .
>>>"Vietnam."
>>>

 

[LebenOjanen]

Bama, Good stuff

I've seen the Hallmark before, but the Nam one was good

 

[bamagirl]

Bama, Good stuff

I've seen the Hallmark before, but the Nam one was good

im glad you are enjoying sweetheart

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there
he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite
blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did
you call for me?"

The man replies "No; what do you mean?"

She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that
if you get an erection, it implies you called for me."

Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down
on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with
her.

The man continues to explore the colony's facilities. He enters the
sauna and as he sits down, he farts.

Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room
toward him. Did you call for me?" says the hairy man.


No, what do you mean?" say! s the newcomer.


"You must be new," says the hairy man, "it's a rule that if you fart, it
implies that you called for me." The huge man easily spins him
around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the
smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?" she says.

The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key
back and you can keep the $500 membership fee."

"But sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours. You
haven't had a chance to see all our facilities."

The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an
erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day! I'm outta here!!!

 

[Dirty_Angel26]

Wow ... it is a beautiful day outside! I just came in from doing some yard work and it is very nice... Spring is definitley here.