RjThoughts
I'm The Rojodi!
- Joined
- May 7, 2001
- Posts
- 36,880
RJ, that's just all kinds of fucked up.
OK, so Sunday I posted that I saw somebody - 2 somebodies - walking in my apartment even though nobody was here. My roommate has also seen somebody here. He was sitting on the couch when he first moved in; somebody sat down beside him, but there was nobody there. I hadn't told him that I'd already seen strange things in the apartment. He freaked *out.*
I'm convinced that mom and dad (mentioned early in this thread) are still with me. I tend to see them only when traumatic things happen. I hadn't seen them in several years - until I moved into my own place. I've been here since May, and I've seen "them" maybe half a dozen times. I almost always see them in pairs, although I have occasionally seen only one.
I'm dealing with a few of my own ghosts - demons from my past - right now. It's very traumatic at times but also cathartic and healing. Is it a coincidence that I saw them walk by when they did? I believe they're trying to be here for me when I need them. My original trauma happened while they were still alive, but I didn't tell them about it until I was forced to - at the last possible minute. They helped me get through it at the time, but they weren't able to help me emotionally. I believe that they're trying to be supportive now that I'm ready to conquer the emotional demons.
My mom especially identified with what I was going through at the time. She'd been abused in a previous marriage herself. I was far too traumatized at the time to even think about trying to heal; I was more interested in simply surviving. She didn't pressure me at the time; she was as supportive and helpful as I could ever hope for, but she allowed me to do what I needed to do without trying to influence my decisions one way or the other. I chose to move to FL.....to run away from my fear.
I dodged my bullets all these years, but now dodging them isn't enough. I'm ready to settle this once and for all and *win.* I have the support of loving friends, and I believe I also have the support of my parents. I believe they're here to make sure I'm ok. Really ok.
Well of course they'll there to support you. If they weren't, they'd scare the roommate more often LOL
BTW: I saw a t-shirt this morning, with a saying perfect for you and others
"Nurses:
We're here to help your ass, not kiss it!"
