girlfriend is uncomfortable with...

[blowonyourface]

I'm a very sexual person and so is my girlfriend...when she's clean & shaven. She will only have sex with me when she has freshly shaved and showered. I've tried to tell her that I don't mind her hair and that her pussy isn't like some dirty hole after only a day but she doesn't comply. She will only have sex with me when she isn't freshly showered/shaven when she's intoxicated and frankly, drunk sex is bad sex. I love her so dearly and I want her to just know I could care less if she hasn't bathed since last night or that she has a little hair down there. How do I convince her of this?

 

[Experiencedguy]

You can't (and shouldn't try) to change her. This is the way she is, probably because of the way she was brought up. If you love her as much as you say you do, you should accept her as is. Maybe, after several years, she might loosen up a little, but I wouldn't bet on it. If this is really driving you crazy, and you can't put up with it, break it up now, before you get any deeper. Sorry to come down on you, but, although mind control is great in fiction and movies, in real life, it will end in total disaster for both of you.

 

[NippleMuncher]

All you can do is express your likes and dislikes and hope that this knowledge will allow her to loosen up. Personally, I'm not a fan of "day old" snatch, and neither is my girlfriend, so kitty gets a bath before we play. Morning sex is fine, but there's no bush munching going on.

 

[SweetErika]

Your gf's attitude isn't unusual at all. We're subjected to a lot of comments and jokes about how we, as women, smell, look and taste. Ever hear a fish joke/comment? How about a guy complain how gross it is to go down on a hairy chick or how he wishes his girl would shave? We hear this shit, especially in our sexually formative years, too, and it can really affect us.

I've never been told I smell or taste anything but great, but one time my then-new-boyfriend laughed when a friend of ours said going down on a woman can be gross because there's residual pee in that area. I figured he was agreeing, so I made sure we didn't have sex without showering.

Many years later, I know how my husband feels and when I need a shower, but I still don't like to have sex without a shower, and I'd never let someone go down on me without showering first. Well, maybe if that partner had a scent fetish, but I'm just way more comfortable and confident when I've just showered, and that leads to better sex. I have similar feelings about grooming; I don't feel great about receiving oral if I'm not at least trimmed because I worry my partner will be uncomfortable, even if I'm assured that's not the case.

And guess what? I greatly prefer my partner to shower before I give oral or my nose gets close to their genital area, too. I find the smell of sweaty balls beyond repulsive. The same goes for grooming: having hair on my tongue just totally grosses me out, and I refuse to orally attend to balls or other areas that are hairy. A guy needs to be trimmed and have fairly hairless balls if he wants my tongue on that skin.

So keep reassuring your gf that you enjoy her natural scent as long as she's within a day or so of bathing and you find some hair to be sexy, but let her do her thing if it makes her more comfortable. The sex will be better if she's confident.

 

[infinity706]

It's not exactly univeral, though. Quite a few of the more crude women I've hung out with are the ones making the fish jokes and even making comments about how the good guys are vampires. (reference to cunt licking during a period)

 

[JackVettriano]

I think reassuring your gf in the key here. She may have had an of the cuf comment made to her years ago by someone to imature to know better, if you love her you will sort it out or put up with it. In my experiance and its not to say whats right for me is right for you, is to just chat about it. Talking can solve most problems.

It could be worse, how would you feel if she never washed and wanted head all the time? Some people would say your lucky.

I love sucking on a fresh peach

 

[Eilan]

Your gf's attitude isn't unusual at all. We're subjected to a lot of comments and jokes about how we, as women, smell, look and taste. Ever hear a fish joke/comment? How about a guy complain how gross it is to go down on a hairy chick or how he wishes his girl would shave? We hear this shit, especially in our sexually formative years, too, and it can really affect us.

One of my ex-husband's buddies made a casual, outside-of-the-bedroom comment to his then-GF about how sickening it was that one of his grad-school professors "smelled like pussy." Then he wondered why his GF stopped letting him go down on her.

 

[daddytom12]

All yo ucan do is let your gf know how you feel, but then you have to decide if you want to accept her as she is. After 30 yrs of marriage my wife still loves to have me eat her at least 3 times a week. But she insists on being clean and I am grateful that she does

 

[pwr2theblondes]

I'm a very sexual person and so is my girlfriend...when she's clean & shaven. She will only have sex with me when she has freshly shaved and showered. I've tried to tell her that I don't mind her hair and that her pussy isn't like some dirty hole after only a day but she doesn't comply. She will only have sex with me when she isn't freshly showered/shaven when she's intoxicated and frankly, drunk sex is bad sex. I love her so dearly and I want her to just know I could care less if she hasn't bathed since last night or that she has a little hair down there. How do I convince her of this?

It sounds as if she is pretty set in her ways. I can't comprehend how she can only feel desirable after shaving and showering.

Sex is so much more than personal hygiene. I guess you could say I have a scent fetish though so I am probably a little biased! I feel comfortable freshly showered or not. Your situation seems frustrating but I don't see a way of convincing her. Maybe she's had a previous bad experience dealing with body scent with an ex perhaps? or maybe it was the way she was brought up (to not feel comfortable when you aren't spic and span clean?)

Good Luck!

 

[silvastormcloud]

I get where your GF is coming from. Its not for you but for her that she showers. I feel uncomfortable if i'm not clean, the thought that i could be smelly or unclean is enough to make me quite anxious and as we all now you need to be relaxed to enjoy sex.

So let your girlfriend do what she needs to feel comfortable. Make it known you think she's sexy either way but don't pressure her. All you will get if you do is sex with someone who really isnt into it,