Going against a long held personal belief...

[bushy_chrissy]

Hoping that someone might have some good thoughts or suggestions on a personal dilemma...

Long story short:
I've held a long running personal belief that Mother Nature's designs are ideal, and that natural is sexy. I'm more turned on by intact men (aka not missing foreskin), I prefer men with a natural bush of pubic hair, etc.
As for my own body, I shave some areas to avoid awkward social situations (legs, armpits, etc), but not my bush. Since early college when I began firming up my opinions on many things, I've let myself stay natural.
Hell, even my name here on lit is clear about this, and my signature has been constant for ages now. That's the backstory.

I'm seeing a guy now who is absolutely lovely... he's just about everything I could want in a person as far as looks and body go... he's delicious. We can speak freely about sex and things of a sexual nature. He finds my views to be fascinating, and when I told him I don't shave 'certain areas' his eyes lit up and he smiled wide. This was before he ever saw me nude.

The strange thing for me is that knowing he finds that idea appealing is great for me, but I also know he enjoys a girl who trims. Both of us dislike the sight of a bald woman... too reminiscent of a little girl.

With all this though, I'm finding the thought of giving myself a trim entering my mind more and more. Part is a turn on because it is new, partly because I know it would surprise him, and partly because its been so long I've forgotten what it is like to have a trimmed bush.

This is hard for me because:

• I've made such a big deal out of staying natural for so long
• Having a nice soft nest of curls makes me feel feminine and womanly
• I feel it would make me a hypocrite, based on my long standing beliefs
• There's a tiny piece of me that fears I'll enjoy it and continue, but then I'll feel as if I'm going against something I've advocated for several years.
• I know he likes me as I am
• He didn't even ask me to do it, I thought of it myself
• EVERY time a guy approaches me online telling me to shave or trim, I get upset and shut them down before ignoring them completely.

This is probably not as bit a deal as I'm making it out to be, but I thought I'd post it and see who might have something helpful to share.

What do you think?

Please don't simply post and say "I told you so" or "every girl should shave anyway." Things like that aren't going to be very helpful.

 

[Ezzy]

So coming at this from the side, can I ask if you have a favorite pizza or ice cream?

You know, the one that you turn to as comfort food?

Does this mean you can only ever have that one type of pizza or ice cream, from now to the end of time?

No of course it doesn't stop you from eating a different pizza or ice cream every once in a while!

You are showing more maturity in being able to explore, than to be fixed in your outlook IMO.

Enjoy, experiment, try a different look that you find appealing to your sense of whimsy, do it because you want to do it, or don't do it because you don't want to do it, it is all your choice.

At the end of the day, if you don't like the way it looks it only takes time to grow it back out again...well time and some irritating curly hairs that prickle you for a week or so!

 

[sethp]

does your boyfriend shave is beard cuase that's natural or his nose hairs? do you trim your fingernails or let them grow and inch or two? do you bath with soap? if you do that's not natural..there's a fine line and in the long run it doesn't matter if you trim up a bit. it really doesn't you'll still be natural.

 

[structure]

This may sound a little too simple, but why not just try it? Trim some off and see how you/he likes it. It's not a permanent thing. It will grow back if you let it, right?

 

[NotNowHunny]

If you really want to, try it...It DOES grow back.

 

[sethp]

yes it will grow back...it will and I still say that you can call yourself natural for that.

 

[NotNowHunny]

I was " natural " til I was almost 30. It does require upkeep but after awhile you get used to it. I 'd never go back.

 

[bushy_chrissy]

To All: I know that hair will grow back... its not that I'm irrational in that regard.

SethP: I don't want to create a debate, so I won't go into the beard/nose hair/fingernail discussion...

NotNowHunny : I really dont want to shave, just trim... and I used to trim and shave regularly. I know about the upkeep, and I'm quite sure I never want to shave again. Upkeep for trimming isnt anywhere near as bad.

 

[sethp]

To All: I know that hair will grow back... its not that I'm irrational in that regard.

SethP: I don't want to create a debate, so I won't go into the beard/nose hair/fingernail discussion...

NotNowHunny : I really dont want to shave, just trim... and I used to trim and shave regularly. I know about the upkeep, and I'm quite sure I never want to shave again. Upkeep for trimming isnt anywhere near as bad.

I agree trim do it! you want to ...I think you are going to do it anyway and you just want some approval here.. you have it. this is overwhelming support in favor of your choice..

can you pm me about nose hair etc. if you have a view on that being natural etc I won't reply to you just want to know what you were thinking.

 

[NotNowHunny]

NotNowHunny : I really dont want to shave, just trim... and I used to trim and shave regularly. I know about the upkeep, and I'm quite sure I never want to shave again. Upkeep for trimming isnt anywhere near as bad.[/QUOTE]

Ok, well at any rate. Keep it the way you like it...for you.

 

[ero_dream]

http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/images/products/COLORED/SHE-SAID_RK.gif

 

[cloudy]

One thing to consider: Although, yes, we "naturally" come with hair in certain places, most likely the reason we have that hair to begin with has been gone a long, long time.

I'm not trying to change your mind - do whatever makes you happy, but "because nature intended it that way" sometimes isn't really a reason to do anything at all.

Just my $.02.

 

[ero_dream]

http://www.roadkilltshirts.com/images/products/COLORED/SHE-SAID_RK.gif

 

[Reba67]

I personally trim the bush not because I find it sexy or whatever, but because I hate having to comb the darn thing. I don't like the way some of it gets tangled. So I trim it. Sometimes I don't, but usually I do.

 

[Cathleen]

I've made such a big deal out of staying natural for so long
Having a nice soft nest of curls makes me feel feminine and womanly
I feel it would make me a hypocrite, based on my long standing beliefs
There's a tiny piece of me that fears I'll enjoy it and continue, but then I'll feel as if I'm going against something I've advocated for several years.

Please accept this in the spirit intended and know I do not mean to be patronizing.

You're young. If my thoughts on any subject don't vary thru life then I'd be unaware of life. Things change, socially, personally etc, giving consideration to changes allows me to learn, about myself, others, social 'norms' or whatever.

Just because you've had long standing beliefs or made such a big deal about anything doesn't mean you can't change your mind. Believe me, if I had to still be adamant about what I believed when I was 20, 30, then I'd be a pretzel and probably a nut case now.

Life has the potential of making a mockery of us, of what we absolutely positively knew we'd never do or always do in our life, that we'd never ever ______ (fill in the blank) and before you know it you're looking back 20+ years and realizing that life happens. Beliefs I had at 20 no longer fit for me, they might expand and/or morph, or maybe they just have no meaning for me now, the important thing is giving consideration.

Life changes us, it's suppose to, we have a responsibility to learn about ourselves and others, IMHO. Don't fear thinking about things, fear not thinking.

 

[notalwaysweak]

I too think you should trim it, as it will grow back if you decide you don't like it trimmed. And if anyone has tips on good ways to trim neatly, I'd love to hear them, because I made rather a mess of things last time I did it and now I have patches, which I'm sure is someone out there's fetish, but just makes me feel silly.

 

[wicked woman]

There's also a huge difference between deciding yourself to trim and guys telling you to trim or shave.

 

[SweetErika]

I agree with Ezzy: flexibility and a willingness to try new things and change is a sign of maturity.

At worst, changing your views could mean you were wrong about always wanting to be the same in this regard. What's so bad about that? Aren't mistakes a good way to grow and make positive changes?

Maybe you can re-frame changing as a positive. People who insist on staying stuck in their ways/beliefs often end up very unhappy and awful to be around. By taking this step, you're fighting against that and opening yourself up to more happiness, relationships with different people (e.g. those who appreciate flexibility), and likely a more satisfying life. It seems like this could be an incredible learning opportunity for you.

 

[bushy_chrissy]

Thanks to everyone who has replied thus far. Its given me more to think about, and I generally agree with the idea that it is good to try new things and experiment.

Guess I've just done a good job of digging myself into a hole with the of being 100% natural, and it is honestly a bit scary to climb out of that comfort zone.


Cathleen: your comments were not patronizing, but I read them as wisdom from a woman who is looking at this from a different, more experienced perspective. Thank you for what you said.
Interestingly, the reason I began wanting to be a natural girl is because I really began questioning all the excitement and 'expectation' that girls should shave their entire body. I though it was ridiculous, and a honestly creepy that a bald vulva was/is considered sexy, and it makes me think that the promotion of it almost promotes pedophilia in some sense. That, along with several other factors, combined to have me end up in this mindset.

wicked woman: I agree with you, choosing for oneself is vitally important.

Sweet_Erika: as always, I appreciate your insight. I don't want to be that 'old lady that nobody wants to be around' when i'm not even 30 yet. A fair thing to think about.


Looking forward to reading what others might have to say about this idea, and again I appreciate any thoughts you all have.

-Chrissy

 

[NippleMuncher]

Nothing really to add, only to echo the sage advice already given. IMHO, the fact that you're reassessing your beliefs is cause for celebration! In the grand scheme of things, the amount of pubic hair an individual has is inconsequential. What is important is that you are doing things that make you happy, things that make you feel special, things that make you feel good about yourself. Being "natural", trimming, and shaving are all personal grooming choices, just as your (head ) hair color and length are. The other facet of genital grooming is that it's important that this be your choice to do at all, and exactly how far you go with it. While it's always nice to consider your partners likes and dislikes, it is still your body and your decision, though from the sounds of it, your partner is perfectly happy as it is and would be perfectly happy with whatever you do decide to do.

Also, please don't confuse ones preference for grooming or shaving as a sign of perversion or of having pedophilic tendencies. That's just not how it is. We've all got things that we enjoy or prefer that others would think repulsive. Part of maturity is keeping an open mind to new things, new experiences.

 

[herecomestherain]

Lots of good advice and thoughts here already on the notion of our ability to change, just thought I'd add another "option" to trimming that kind of represents the best of all choices for me - my sweetie loves my bush and I love it too but sometimes I shave my pussy lips (leave the rest bushy) and just razor my labia smooth - I love the way this looks, kind of lewd and delightfully vulgar, we think this is sexy because it is kind of deliberate - I want him to see ( and he knows it ). This still makes me feel "natural" is as much as I'm not interested in tidy pubic hair or the hassle of removing something I like, I just want to play!

As far as maintenance goes it's very easy and no itchiness from hair growing back in the crease where thigh meets crotch and if you wait a few days it'll be back and it's no big deal - easy.

 

[bushy_chrissy]

NippleMuncher: First, your avatar picture is absolutely wonderful! I appreciate your sentiments, and I see the comparisons you are drawing about grooming and choice.

HereComesTheRain: Thanks for throwing out an option, but I'm honestly not interested in bringing a razor between my legs again. I can see how the idea you described would be a sensual option for many, with the womanly aspect of a nice pubic triangle but the bare feeling/view of your labia. I've always had bad experiences with growback and itch anytime I've shaven in the area in the past.

 

[bushy_chrissy]

I'm really thinking about all of this, and I'm going to stop by the store to pick up some 'items.' I've seen those "as seen on tv" little trimmers, and perhaps one of them will work well.

I don't really know what exactly I'll be doing, but I'm going to try something different. Nothing drastic, and I absolutely still want to have hair, but I want to try a trim that is a little different.

Just because its been several years, does anyone have any suggestions on a trimmer to use? Or a style that still looks womanly but 'neat'?

I realize that this is probably something silly to make such a big deal out of, but this is hard for me. Thanks to all for your input.

 

[Pleasureableguy]

I'm really thinking about all of this, and I'm going to stop by the store to pick up some 'items.' I've seen those "as seen on tv" little trimmers, and perhaps one of them will work well.

I don't really know what exactly I'll be doing, but I'm going to try something different. Nothing drastic, and I absolutely still want to have hair, but I want to try a trim that is a little different.

Just because its been several years, does anyone have any suggestions on a trimmer to use? Or a style that still looks womanly but 'neat'?

I realize that this is probably something silly to make such a big deal out of, but this is hard for me. Thanks to all for your input.

It has to be a matter of persoanl choice and taste and what feels right for you. At least, as one of the other posters said, it'll grow back, so whatever you decide is not the end of the story. Who knows you might find the trimming and paying attention to yourself down there quite entertaining

 

[NippleMuncher]

Just because its been several years, does anyone have any suggestions on a trimmer to use? Or a style that still looks womanly but 'neat'?

I realize that this is probably something silly to make such a big deal out of, but this is hard for me. Thanks to all for your input.

There's really no "wrong" way to do it - short of injuring yourself. I once came across a site that had patterns for grooming. I don't know if it was a joke or not, but the idea was certainly intriguing. Basically, it was stencils in various shapes and patterns. I'll see if I can find it again to share and report back.

And thanks for the avitar comment. I always think it's important for the avitar to reflect a little of the user. That's me on so many levels.