Greetings and Salutations

[Djmac1031]

Quite. The age gap in the story is so large to convey the idea that the two are not belonging together. Also, the narrator, the 60yo guy, is something of a retiree (or semi-retiree), with not much to do. Nothing to occupy his mind/time.

There's nothing proper in the union of the two characters. The narrator knows it, too. He is a pervert old fool. And that's not the only wrong thing in the story.

I write stories about wrong things. The Restless In Manilla shows a lot of wrongness about a great many things, including fantasies/delusions of domination/submission, vastly different backgrounds, etc.

My very short Hope story is meant to convey the idea that incest has terrible consequences, even at its "happiest."

The MMC, Tom, the one who asks the question, is a pervert and a fetishist. He only wants to talk sex and refuses to engage otherwise. Such talk becomes an end in itself. It's a masturbatory pursuit.

Thanks for explaining why it's perfectly okay when you do it but you can criticize me for it.

And here I thought you were just being hypocritical.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

Ah, well, I see you're actually sore.

There's a disclaimer at the head of my story. It reads:

It is meant to be uncomfortable

That's what I said about your story, too. It's uncomfortable.

Did you mean it that way?

 

[Djmac1031]

Ah, well, I see you're actually sore.

Not sore at all. I meant it when I said I was perfectly fine with your review. Not the first negative review I ever got.

I'm simply questioning why you hold my story to a standard you yourself do not use on your own stories.

I'm not religious, but I do recall some Bible passage about a straw in one person's eye, a rafter in anothers.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I looked for, but could not find that story. In which category is it posted, please?

 

[AwkwardMD]

The two of you are making a good case for why sometimes it's okay to be a bitch, or an asshole. End this conversation already.

 

[Djmac1031]

The two of you are making a good case for why sometimes it's okay to be a bitch, or an asshole. End this conversation already.

Are you a moderator? Administrator?

If not, then I'll decide who I respond to and how, thanks.

Also, no bitches or assholes here. I just saw two people, myself and @VerbalAbuse , having a discussion.

You're more than welcome to join that discussion, but I'd ask you leave any future name calling at the door, thanks.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

The two of you are making a good case for why sometimes it's okay to be a bitch, or an asshole. End this conversation already.

Agreed.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

I'm happy with any criticism, as it helps me understand how my stories read.
I think that criticism should be to the story, not to the person.

 

[Djmac1031]

I'm happy with any criticism, as it helps me understand how my stories read.
I think that criticism should be to the story, not to the person.

To be clear, I didn't criticize you. I asked you to justify your critiques of my story based on the fact you wrote very similar pieces to what you criticized in my work.

All I was asking for was clarification on what to me seemed a contradictory position.

 

[VerbalAbuse]

And I have answered you. If you write a story about a character that's mostly a wanker, one that failed to have any good/healthy relationship, if you want to stress that all he wants is to have dirty talks, then... you have the guy asking the dick size on a chat app. Because that's exactly what losers do on internet. The character in my story is sexually (and arguably morally) bankrupt. He gets off by asking such questions.

The disclaimer of that story said the story is meant to be uncomfortable. In this story I am expressing my negative opinion about certain types of pursuits. I am telling you, the reader: don't be the MMC in my story.

Here's how I read your story: the two characters have nothing to talk about. The girl asks the dick size because she feels she needs to say something. Because she feels the silence too awkward. Of course, it may be argued that in your story, the MMC is an even bigger wanker than the one in my story. He is so in the most literal sense. So maybe the dick size discussion really belong there.

Ultimately, a story cannot judged from the perspective of another, or from the critique that has been to addressed to another. Judge it by itself. If something is wrong on it, say so. The same thing may be right in a different story, or wrong in a different way in a third story.

 

[Djmac1031]

And I have answered you. If you write a story about a character that's mostly a wanker, one that failed to have any good/healthy relationship, if you want to stress that all he wants is to have dirty talks, then... you have the guy asking the dick size on a chat app. Because that's exactly what losers do on internet. The character in my story is sexually (and arguably morally) bankrupt. He gets off by asking such questions.

The disclaimer of that story said the story is meant to be uncomfortable. In this story I am expressing my negative opinion about certain types of pursuits. I am telling you, the reader: don't be the MMC in my story.

Here's how I read your story: the two characters have nothing to talk about. The girl asks the dick size because she feels she needs to say something. Because she feels the silence too awkward. Of course, it may be argued that in your story, the MMC is an even bigger wanker than the one in my story. He is so in the most literal sense. So maybe the dick size discussion really belong there.

Ultimately, a story cannot judged from the perspective of another, or from the critique that has been to addressed to another. Judge it by itself. If something is wrong on it, say so. The same thing may be right in a different story, or wrong in a different way in a third story.

Fair enough. Your stories didn't really work for me either. To each their own.