have you had an affair?

[minn]

Yup...

I am in the middle of an affair that has lasted over 3 years. I met a woman at a gym who actually called me. She was divorced with her own home and her children were grown and out of the house. She invited me over to share a bottle of wine. I joined her for the wine and a great evening of conversation. We really hit it off. I told her I was married and enjoyed her company. She was disappointed that I was married and told me so. She then proceeded to tell me that she thought I would be a good partner in bed and wanted to "take me to bed to find out". As a side note I have a great relationship with my wife but we haven't had sex for years (too long of a story to get in to here).

Since that night I have visited her home a few times per month and we fuck each others brains out. She is the best sex partner I have ever had. She knows I am married and knows that I love my wife and would never leave her. She also is a professional person who works long and hard and does not want to waste time going on dates or trying to meet another man. Her life is her children and her grandchildren (she is in her 50's).

She is happy, I am happy and I am extremely discreet and my wife is very happy. I know this affair will end one day but my wife will never find out. In the meantime I have a great friend who is the best sex partner i have ever had in my life. Criticize me if you will but it works for us!

 

[Saphs]

I've never been in a long term relationship for enough time to feel compelled to look elsewhere. That said, I believe in monogamous relationships, and if I felt inclined to go behind my partner's back with another person, I'd break off the relationship before I did.

 

[LilyPru]

I have, more than once. These things rarely end well, but for sheer out-on-the-ledge intensity, they have no equal.

I couldn't agree more.

I have luckily (knock on wood knock on wood) not had a bad ending, but I've had a few on-the-side things over the years. I think that it's important to be reeeeaaallly honest with yourself and you affair-mate (for lack of a better word) about why you're doing what you're doing.

For me, I'm emotionally satisfied (and mostly sexually satisfied) in my marriage, but I really like the out-on-the-ledge thing. Therefore I've only had things with men who were likewise happily married or partnered, and preferably long distance as well. (They've tended to be long term, cause once I find someone who is really on the same page, I stick with it.) Sex and flirting good... deep talks about our lives and future? No way. That's the territory that I think feels most like cheating (for me... YMMV). Granted that sounds like one big rationalization, but I mean it.

 

[polyamorous]

On more than one occasion I have come very very close to stepping out on my significant other. Its been a great three years and I love her but she dose not or can not fulfill me 100% sexually and its completely a product of my sexual appetite and not her being unwilling to fulfill. I've gone so far as to meet with women from ashley madison, but never went farther than coffee or drinks, I cant hurt someone who I love so much and I know it would destroy her emotionally.

No judgement towards anyone here, its just my own personal experience. I applaud any and all of you who have taken steps to make yourselves happy and its none of my business how you did that.