Have you or would you?

[Playdu]

My boyfriend and I are middle aged, live together,and have been talking about swinging. We are ready to try our first experience with one variation, instead of getting together with another couple, both of us wanted to find a single partner for the first few times. Afterwards we would talk about it and decide if it worked or if it would be better to meet as a couple with a couple.
I think I have a guy arranged and he is still searching for an agreeable woman. Is there anyone that can share a similar experience or give advice?

 

[koalabear]

Try the personals or the How To threads.

 

[WantonWitch]

Hope you talked long and honestly about this because if one of you has the slightest doubt it can ruin a good relationship... not everyone can disassociate sex from lovemaking and this can lead to problems.

 

[Playdu]

Thanks for the advice.

 

[wally2450]

You might check the 'Blank Manual' at the top of the 'How to's'

 

[iemtzingu]

Yes and Yes.... and I am in complete agreeance with WW. Secondly be safe and have fun!

 

[alisonwunderlnd]

It can work very well
OR
it can get all fucked up.Make sure everyone invloved knows EXACTLY what to expect and what NOT to expect

 

[Playdu]

I'll be careful and enjoy.

 

[Carnivore1]

In my book, love and sex are two different things. You can have one without the other, and the two need not affect one another.

What you're describing sounds to me like you are seeking sexual gratification with other people, not love. If you trying to make up for something your partner lacks, it could become a problem, but if you are only seeking sex with other people to enhance what you already have, and each of you comfortable with that, things should be just fine.

 

[Playdu]

We have talked at length about this and both of us agree that we are just seeking more sex, not love. We get along well and have great sex. Perhaps we will not be able to separate love from sex but that is the goal. We each enjoy sex with various partners and want the trust between us to have more.

 

[Carnivore1]

It's just my opinion, but i don't think PRIVATE encounters is a place to start.

If you are going to start out with solo encounters, maybe the other partner should be present, even if they don't participate. You are both going to need to be comfortable watching the other having sex, and you will need to comfortable with being watched as well.

Maybe you should find a man or woman that would be comfortable with being with both of you at once, instead of each having separate encounters. This would work even without any bi tendencies, and if that's something you wish to explore, it could be a plus.

If you've already seen your partner with another person and are comfortable with it, it is my opinion that you'll be more trusting of them when they DO have a private encounter.