Help! I'm addicted to porn!

[Bono13]

Ok, so finally I admit it: I'm addicted to porn. It'a an actual, real addiction, I'm being serious.

It's been going on for years, ever since I discovered all the free porn on the net...
The addiction comes and goes in waves, sometimes I rarely browse for porn, other times I do so daily.

I don't even neccessarily want to stop completely. Porn can be very nice and stimulating and I sometimes enjoy some porn with my GF. What I would like, is to get away from the "must-have-porn-must-jerk-off-to-it" zombie-like behaviour.
I want the same attitude towards porn that I have towards sex: I only have it when I really feel like it and when I have it, I completely enjoy it.

It seems I can't resist sometimes. I really feel like a zombie sometimes...

Would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Ok, so finally I admit it: I'm addicted to porn. It'a an actual, real addiction, I'm being serious.

It's been going on for years, ever since I discovered all the free porn on the net...
The addiction comes and goes in waves, sometimes I rarely browse for porn, other times I do so daily.

I don't even neccessarily want to stop completely. Porn can be very nice and stimulating and I sometimes enjoy some porn with my GF. What I would like, is to get away from the "must-have-porn-must-jerk-off-to-it" zombie-like behaviour.
I want the same attitude towards porn that I have towards sex: I only have it when I really feel like it and when I have it, I completely enjoy it.

It seems I can't resist sometimes. I really feel like a zombie sometimes...

Would appreciate any advice. Thanks.

I think almost every guy has gone through some degree of this when they first discover free porn on the net. I wouldn't say I ever reached zombie-like level, but I found I spent a lot of time surfing at one point in my life. For me it just kind of went away because I wanted it to, but you have to figure out why you feel this way.

For me it's because I was bored. My wife worked nights, I worked days, so I was home alone with nothing to do most of the time. I found that I never looked at porn when I was busy or if I had a day off with my wife, etc. It was only when I was bored that I gravitated to surfing the web, and invariably to free porn sites.

If you really want to break the habit, if you think it is affecting your life, then find another outlet to keep your hands and mind busy. Note, it has to be something away from your computer. Whenever you get the urge to surf for porn, do something else active. If this doesn't work, then see a counselor. I'm serious, this is not an uncommon problem these days. It can get so bad that it can actually start to affect your sex life.

Good luck dude.

 

[FallenAngelsSlut]

,,,,,

 

[Bono13]

Bigkahuna, thanks for the advice! Yeah, with me it mostly occurs when I'm bored too. I should go running again, or something like that.

I wouldn't say that the literotica boards qualify as "surfing for porn".
You really get stuff here that can improve your sex-life. and I don't come here for a turn-on (though I do occasionally come across stuff that turns me on...)

 

[sailboatracer]

I agree there is so much to learn here, and when learning is also entertaining, it's the best of "both worlds"

 

[center_stage]

My Uncle got addicted to porn. It's a real thing. It got so bad he got a divorce and lost custody of his kids. Take care of this before it turns into a really serious issue.

 

[Bono13]

whoa! it's not that bad with me... at least not yet.
it's not that this thing is destroying my life or anything, it's just a bit of a nuisance and i want to get over it before it turns into more than that.

 

[TBKahuna123]

whoa! it's not that bad with me... at least not yet.
it's not that this thing is destroying my life or anything, it's just a bit of a nuisance and i want to get over it before it turns into more than that.

That's the thing though, it can get to that point, and that's why it is good that you recognize that this behavior could become damaging. I've known a couple of people who have become addicted to porn to the point where it started to affect how they reacted to sex. One in particular became very entranced by heavy S&M porn to the point where this was all that turned him on. It almost destroyed his marriage, but he was able to get help and all's good now.

I don't think pornography is in and of itself destructive, it's when it becomes an obsession that it is a problem. That though is true of any obsession.

Also, I would venture to make a distinction between pornography and erotica. A fine line yes, but still there is a difference to me.

 

[thirty]

I used to enjoy porn very much after I owned my personal computer, I spent most of my online time for different pron, but later and later, I found it was very boring, so, I'm now not interested in porn at all.

It's very natural to enjoy porn, but I think it may ruin your sex life, since it may decrease your sensitivity of sex.

 

[lemmesee]

We are all addicted, or we wouldn't be sitting here on this site....

 

[naughtygirl69s]

you're normal

Unless you doing illegal stuff or it's interfering with your job, eating, social life, sex life, relationships, etc., than it's all good.

 

[Not Normal]

When I thought I was spending too much time with porn, and only masturbating with porn I put myself on a bit of a system. I made a point to masturbate without porn, and to look at porn and not masturbate. I can now enjoy both when the mood for either hits.

 

[ND2BFUKD]

i say if you got to have an addiction it might as well be porn

 

[Bono13]

i say if you got to have an addiction it might as well be porn

I guess there's a grain of truth in that... as long as it's mildly addicted. Definetly better to be mildly addicted to porn than to, say, smoking.

Anyway, thanks for the input everyone!

I generally have a bit of a problem with extreme over-supply. When there's just tons and tons of stuff (like porn, freeware,...) I kind of lose control...
But I'm guessing that's not just me. Since over-supply of anything is quite a recent developement, even for "our" part of humanity, we might just not be accustomed to it.
(with "our" I mean the not-struggling-to-survive, artificial-problem-creating, junk-food-eating, internet-using, thinking-bed-and-water-are-granted-things part of humanity)

 

[The Gimp]

You should look for something of interest besides porn to look for online. I'm a regular at a couple of home theater forums, a Star Wars forum, my local newspaper has discussion forum and my favorite site to surf is partypoker.net. Porn is nice and all but it makes a better dessert than it does a main course

 

[avalondiva]

addicted to porn

Seems odd to reply to an 'ADDICTED TO PORN" question on this website....but I can tell you that my partner of 4 yrs was and is now in recovery. I had dated him for 2 yrs and had no clue he was so obsessed. We had a great sex life until I used his computer one day. I think I could accept a fair amount of just porn/masturbation but he had progressed to cybersex and webcam sex ( and that always happens) and had a list on yahoo and msn messenger like I had never seen. I am not judging any one but this is NOT cool. If your single or your spouse knows and is comfortable with what you do online thats one thing....but if it's a secret then .."it's cheating" and I guarentee it will hurt your partner.

I loved him but I had to end my relationship with him , due to broken trust. I am all for open relationships honestly and sexual freedom BUT he had crossed a line...having sex with real women even if he never touched them...I was violated and he was being incredibly unfair to me. He did quit and recognized he had an addiction and sought help through S.A sexaholics annonymus. Its not that porn , erotica or masturbation is wrong for anyone...but when you spend hours and hours and become obbsessive about it hiding it from your spouse and/or feeling guilty or shameful....it becomes a problem . GOOD RULE OF THUMB if your in a realationship don't do anything you would not do if your partner was standing beside you.....if you can't do that then you have no business in a realationship .

thats my rant LOL

have a good one everybody

 

[The Gimp]

GOOD RULE OF THUMB if your in a realationship don't do anything you would not do if your partner was standing beside you.....if you can't do that then you have no business in a realationship .

That's a pretty extreme rule. My girlfriend knows that I occasionally watch / surf porn but she doesn't need to know that I've subscribed to the Ass Plundering thread does she?

 

[Gypsy_Lis]

Seems odd to reply to an 'ADDICTED TO PORN" question on this website....but I can tell you that my partner of 4 yrs was and is now in recovery. I had dated him for 2 yrs and had no clue he was so obsessed. We had a great sex life until I used his computer one day. I think I could accept a fair amount of just porn/masturbation but he had progressed to cybersex and webcam sex ( and that always happens) and had a list on yahoo and msn messenger like I had never seen. I am not judging any one but this is NOT cool. If your single or your spouse knows and is comfortable with what you do online thats one thing....but if it's a secret then .."it's cheating" and I guarentee it will hurt your partner.

I loved him but I had to end my relationship with him , due to broken trust. I am all for open relationships honestly and sexual freedom BUT he had crossed a line...having sex with real women even if he never touched them...I was violated and he was being incredibly unfair to me. He did quit and recognized he had an addiction and sought help through S.A sexaholics annonymus. Its not that porn , erotica or masturbation is wrong for anyone...but when you spend hours and hours and become obbsessive about it hiding it from your spouse and/or feeling guilty or shameful....it becomes a problem . GOOD RULE OF THUMB if your in a realationship don't do anything you would not do if your partner was standing beside you.....if you can't do that then you have no business in a realationship .

thats my rant LOL

have a good one everybody

I agree with you. I was in a marriage where there wasn't any much of sex going on in there because my ex husband was addicted to porn either online or outside our marriage. That was not all...whenever I wanted to have sex with him, he refused or told me that he was having headaches because he couldn't get his cock hard due to excessive porn watching. (Please bear it with me). Plus whenever I used my computer, I would find alot of porn websites in the history file and I confronted him about them. He denied them...that resulted the loss of trust and the marriage of 15 years. Once again, my last partner was addicted to online porn too and he never shared that with me or told me until I found them again on my puter. What is it with men who couldn't be honest? I love porn and would love to share that experience with a partner. I even suggested to watch it with me. Oh nooo!! They couldn't do that. What's up with that too? Still in hopes to find a partner who will share the same interests and be honest with me.

Gyspy_Lis

 

[InsaneWolf]

Why is being addicted to porn a bad thing?
I personally dont think theres nothing wrong with it
hell if you have all these sluts that want to get naked for you ,its only right that you enjoy yourself as much as you can.
live the life that you want and hell with what "society"thinks is my motto

 

[The Gimp]

Why is being addicted to porn a bad thing?

If your life is functional outside of an occasional trip to literotica then you are not addicted. On the other hand if your you're in danger of being divorced because you prefer jerking off to having sex then it's a bad thing.

 

[InsaneWolf]

Well in that case that can be a problem but the problem wouldnt be an addiction to porn per say ,but to an adversion of fucking your wife which is a different issue all together.

 

[Gypsy_Lis]

If your life is functional outside of an occasional trip to literotica then you are not addicted. On the other hand if your you're in danger of being divorced because you prefer jerking off to having sex then it's a bad thing.

I ditto that! I was married to one. For years, I wondered why he wouldn't have sex with me and what the heck matter was with me. Once again, I had a partner who hid the same thing, yet he had sex with me. I have nothing against pornos and I watch them occasionally but still for those who would not have any sex with their partners is something else. A crime, I would say.

Gyspy_Lis

 

[Eilan]

Well in that case that can be a problem but the problem wouldnt be an addiction to porn per say ,but to an adversion of fucking your wife which is a different issue all together.

But how do you know that's the case?

There are people out there who masturbate to porn when they have a ready and willing partner. That's a problem, and it goes beyond an aversion to the partner who's being spurned.

 

[RagingWillard]

Try new ways of masturbating. Read the Literotica stories, imagine fantasies (best way in my opinion), hump things in real life. Just dont look at visual porn. Maybe the odd amateur pic thread, but no fabricated porn star videos. You'll probably become desensitized to other stimulus and thats why you're in this zombie like state. Its the same thing all the time, look at porn, touch yourself. Next time you masturbate, read a Lit story. Have cybersex, or phone sex. Just try new ways of masturbation and you should get rid of that possibly unhealthy addiction. If you get out of the routine of watching porn you should be fine and free to experiment with new ways such as mutual masturbation and the others liste above.

Good Luck

-Will

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well in that case that can be a problem but the problem wouldnt be an addiction to porn per say ,but to an adversion of fucking your wife which is a different issue all together.

But what if that aversion to fucking your wife is brought on by your addiction to porn? Addiction is when someone CAN'T stop a certain behavior. That inability to stop is a bad thing because it takes control away from you. Suddenly your decisions are being made for you by the addiction. I can't go out tonight, because on Fridays they post the new pics on bighooties.com! Just as any addiction, it has adverse effects on your entire life.

Porn isn't bad in and of istelf. Heck, I used to hide it, well not really hide it, but it wasn't something I really shared with my wife. When she asked me if I ever looked at porn on the net I was totally honest about it. She wanted to know why, so I told her truthfully why. It was all good. I didn't lie, I didn't hide it and it didn't affect our lives in any way. But then again, I wasn't addicted to it. I could go long periods of time without looking at porn, especially if our sex life was in a period of high frequency.

I don't care if it's porn, cocaine or chocolate, any true "addiction" has a negative impact on your life. Anytime you give up control of your decision making process, you have issues. Addictions can take away your ability to prioritize your life, which leads to further complications.