HELP!My PC keeps evicting me...

[Hisownprecious]

Re: hope ur troubles r over

lonely/hisprecious

glad to hear u finally, err...hmmm, well, ok, finally beat off the <sasser> wyrm...

and i guess that moving from "lonely" to "his precious" is an improvement in ur life?!

enjoy

"Vanquished" is the word that i've been using...
Darn thing...looks like its gone...but keep your fingers and toes crossed

Being His precious is surely a marked improvement...*sigh*...

*deep, happy, contented sigh*

joanna

 

[Cathleen]

Re: Re: hope ur troubles r over

"Vanquished" is the word that i've been using...
Darn thing...looks like its gone...but keep your fingers and toes crossed

Being His precious is surely a marked improvement...*sigh*...

*deep, happy, contented sigh*

joanna

A wonderful feeling you are sharing sweetie!! I love that feeling...content is so under appreciated these days!!

 

[Hisownprecious]

Re: Re: Re: hope ur troubles r over

A wonderful feeling you are sharing sweetie!! I love that feeling...content is so under appreciated these days!!

Hey...dig us on page 6...

Content is even better than happy...well, for me anyway...happy i can pull out of anything, just about...but content, to me...its a peace that i feel deep inside...

Like when i was a child and i would be sitting on the stump by the water...Aunt Dot would call me in to supper...she made the absolute best meatloaf and home-made mashed potatoes...

We would all sit around the table...a little blue-grass on the kitchen radio...laughter...old stories about country life...

Come on, Cate...i'm sure we can find some room around the table for you...


j

 

[Cathleen]

Re: Re: Re: Re: hope ur troubles r over

Hey...dig us on page 6...

Content is even better than happy...well, for me anyway...happy i can pull out of anything, just about...but content, to me...its a peace that i feel deep inside...

Like when i was a child and i would be sitting on the stump by the water...Aunt Dot would call me in to supper...she made the absolute best meatloaf and home-made mashed potatoes...

We would all sit around the table...a little blue-grass on the kitchen radio...laughter...old stories about country life...

Come on, Cate...i'm sure we can find some room around the table for you...


j

I'm right there with the crowd Joanna....I have so enjoyed this time here. There is a contentment found right here at this spot. I agree, contentment is far more precious than being happy. Contentment encompasses happiness and goes beyond.

I have been craving a home cooked meal, of meatloaf and mashed potato!! A cold glass of milk too. What a retreat this visit has been, I've been imagining it throughout the last few days, and I feel a sense of that peace come over me, that I have not a care in the world, how lucky to feel that, thanks for sharing this place with me. I am more than content to stay for a while longer, if its okay with you!

We can sit on the porch after dinner and listen to the sounds of the evening and sigh with peace.

 

[Hisownprecious]

Perfect...sitting...watching the lightening bugs flicker...seeking their mates...if you listen you can hear the ever present doves cooing off in the trees...

Ahh...a gentle breeze blowing through the corn stalks...the smell of that big mighty pine tree in the back yard, here...

As the night begins to draw in around us...the sun sinking down, off in the distance...this place is so far from the road that right at this moment you can hear nothing but the earth...nothing but what was here before the roads...before the buildings...before man became a society...back when nature was the way...instead of something you would visit occasionally...when families took care of each other...promises were kept...truths were trusted...

Just get lost in this moment...take moments like this and make them memories...close your eyes and drink in this atmosphere...
the sights...the sounds...the scents...the feel of that breeze on your cheek...just feel and let this moment etch itself onto your mind...

*deep contented sigh*

j.

 

[Cathleen]

You have drawn me right into this place....I'm heading to bed, but this is the image I have in my head.... the peace is within me....that feeling of taking a deep breath, holding it for a moment and then blowing it all out with a sigh of contentment.... inner peace.... thank you for that!
G'night...talk to you soon!

 

[Hisownprecious]

Afternoon, now...looking out over this beautiful land...off on the horizon we see the dark clouds of an impending storm...i can feel this one coming...feel the tension in the air on my skin...sense it pressing down on my body as the air itself gains weight...gets heavy with what is soon to pass through it...the winds, now, have a certain intensity to them...not that they are strong or fierce...not yet...stand here, with me...draw in a deep breath...we breathe in so often, here, but it is a special power that we have...a special way to hold moments to us and keep them...the senses that we have been granted are our way of interacting with this world...of taking it into ourselves and making it a part of us...we touch...we taste...we hear...we breathe in this scent... every one a gift...every one, something that we have been blessed with...even if we have some and not all...we are still a living part of this living earth...i know someone who has had one of these gifts torn from him...he is as much a part of this earth as anyone else...more so, i can say, knowing him as i do...but back to our storm...

This coming storm brings some things to mind...i love storms...i have always wanted to go chasing twisters...always wanted to follow the path of destruction to see what the gods have decided isn't to be any longer...taking this house...leaving that one...i have always seen those shots on TV...you know the ones... where they talk to the family that has been completely devastated by the winds of change...while their neighbors watch from their perfectly intact home...i always wonder what it is in that persons past that kept them safe....and the other so torn apart...what karmic event has wrought such horror...what did they do?...did they litter?...cross against the light?...somewhere step on and crush one of the gods favorite ants?...showed no compassion for their fellow man?...did they make some rash, harsh judgement on someone that this harsh judgement has been visited upon them?...it always makes me wonder when my karma will come round to visit me...do the things that i have been through somehow balance out the things that i have done?...

But what about the ones who have done nothing...the ones who weather the storm...feel as it wrenches their lives asunder... those who stand innocent against this destruction...what is the reasoning for the gods' wrath visiting their heads...maybe there is no cosmic reasoning...perhaps there is no cosmic anything... maybe the gods truly are something that man has created to give himself a purpose for existence...

Ahh...but then this storm will soon pass...though these questions that they rise will continue on...for now, let us simply look into this dark air and laugh...a hearty, deep, no mud on my boots laugh...we will weather this storm...we will show no fear...let's go play in the rain as it pours down, in torrents, upon our heads...

Hey, Cate...i'll race ya up to Barky's sitting braches...yes, i know its thundering and lightening...but i'm going anyway...

i ain't skeered


j.

 

[Cathleen]

I'm not scared either Joanna.... we can sit and watch the storm...I love storms too....the power of them... the wind making Barky sway....we're holding on....not too tight...we don't need to...Barky will see us through.... he has seen his share of storms and this will be no different..... look over there....the lightening has started..... soon we will hear the thunder....and know just how far away this storm is.....I love the smell of the rain....clearing out the air... drenching the world... drenching us.... we won't melt....rain is fun to play in.... say did you hear that..... it was a big boomer....wow...this is great.... the water on the House Lake is trembling with the wind, I bet all those fish have gone deeper down to keep safe..... the colors of the water are so dark....from the dark sky.... here it comes....I can hear the rain starting...its so loud.... we'll be soaking wet in a few minutes..... crash and bang of the storm...... and the cleansing rain falls upon us...... let's shout out loud Joanna....shout all those terrible things we no longer need or want....the storm will swallow them up taking them from us....ready Joanna....ready to scream it all out..... here comes the rain...the thunder, the lightening....let's let it all go....

 

[Cathleen]

Hi there Joanna..... how are you tonight...

 

[Hisownprecious]

Sorry, Cate...honestly i just had so much to shout into that thunder that i didn't know where to start...i began writing my post and thought that it was just too much...

i didn't want to curse the sky by giving it my past to hold...does this make any sense...i don't know...there is just such beauty and peace for me in the thunder...i get completely lost following bolts of lightening as they travel across the sky...

Today, though, is a nice peaceful day, here...i read that your family has arrived...i send you any strength that i have...sending all my good vibes north to you, dear...

*sigh*

Today is Mother's Day...we don't celebrate this day in my little family here...just me and my children...this is a tough day for me...one that i would rather just get behind me and be done with it...

8 years ago today was the last time i saw my Grandmother alive....though when i saw her she was but a shell...not 8 years to the date...8 years to the day...she passed the day after Mother's Day in 1996...5.13 is her death day...but this day is the one that i said good-bye on...

She was a damn good woman...she had troubles...big troubles...
but through it all she remained true to herself and her family...she never knew about my father...or any of the shit i went through as a kid...she was my mother's mother...so she didn't see how i was when i went to my father's...i know within myself that if she had she would have killed him...or had my Uncles do it...

She raised me...my mother was around but she was only just there...my Grandmother fed me, loved me, listened to me, tried to discipline me, she was my Mom...in every way that counts...she was the one to show pride in me...to show disappointment...the only one to care enough to hurt when i hurt...to be happy for me...to be sad for me...she raised me and 2 of my cousins...there was always space in Grandma's house for any stray grandchildren...and she would fight tooth and nail for us...she would hold us to her...fiercely protect us when she could...that's how i know what she would have done to my father...

She was a wonderful person...she would give you her last dime...her last morsel of food...she taught me so much about life and how to deal with some of the shit that is bound to come down the road...

Sometimes, i'll smell her...her perfume...the lavender sachet from her dresser drawers...its the oddest thing....but its always when i need it most...like its a gift from her....letting me know that she's still here...that she is still loving me and supporting me...

i just miss her so fucking much i can't put it into words...

 

[Cathleen]

{{{{{ Joanna }}}}} you just did sweetie!

I understand missing.....I really do, and she is with you always. I am sorry for your loss Joanna.

Maybe we will stay here overnight and leave for the White Mountains tomorrow..... I think you will enjoy that visit.....its where my soul is most peaceful, kind of like here for you.

You've made it through this day...... and did so with grace!

 

[Hisownprecious]

Many thanks, Cate...i feel her near me everyday...

i do love this place and i have been so happy to visit again, and share it with you...i read what i wrote about Aunt Dot and Uncle Lucky's place to my daughter...she loved hearing about it all...

It is so nice to be able to look back and find good memories amid the chaos...

Though, its does feel like time for a bit of a change...

Lead on co-pilotess o' mine....

joanna


psst...have we got a name for this farce of an airline yet?

 

[Cathleen]

Many thanks, Cate...i feel her near me everyday...

i do love this place and i have been so happy to visit again, and share it with you...i read what i wrote about Aunt Dot and Uncle Lucky's place to my daughter...she loved hearing about it all...

It is so nice to be able to look back and find good memories amid the chaos...

Though, its does feel like time for a bit of a change...

Lead on co-pilotess o' mine....

joanna


psst...have we got a name for this farce of an airline yet?

I haven't thought of one yet Joanna..... waiting for inspiration lol

I have so enjoyed this visit....you really have a great way of getting to the heart of the place....I hope I can do the same on the next visit.... perhaps later I'll be able to start us off to the destination.... I'm just enjoying the scenery here for awhile longer...its been very peaceful!

 

[Hisownprecious]

I haven't thought of one yet Joanna..... waiting for inspiration lol

I have so enjoyed this visit....you really have a great way of getting to the heart of the place....I hope I can do the same on the next visit.... perhaps later I'll be able to start us off to the destination.... I'm just enjoying the scenery here for awhile longer...its been very peaceful!

Believe it or not...i find myself being a bit thankful for Sasser...if i hadn't been bitten by that damn thing...this thread wouldn't be here...its become a place of strength for me...a place of peace...

So, thank you to that teen-ager who had nothing better to do with his day than to create havoc in the world...ok, maybe that's a bit much...i'm know the little dweeb has caused alot of problems for alot of people...and i'd still like to beat him over the head with some heavy and blunt object...but i can do that and still be grateful for having to create this thread, can't i...i'm so conflicted

 

[Cathleen]

the ability to find a gift in everything is a wonderful skill Joanna.... I think we both have that in common......

would it be overkill to call this Sasser Airline LOL

 

[Hisownprecious]

the ability to find a gift in everything is a wonderful skill Joanna.... I think we both have that in common......

would it be overkill to call this Sasser Airline LOL

Sasser Airlines, Inc...thank you very much


i think it is a gift, actually...a gift from the gods to keep us sane in the most trying times...

Ahh...but its not my turn to go on...tis yours, my sister in quite alot...

Guide this raggedly bit of an Aeroplane on to the White Mountains...let's see this place that feeds your peace...

Good thing this plane has a well equipped galley...i've got a hankering for some cookies...

What do you think...chocolate chip...or death-by-chocolate...

Hmm....


So many views and just Cate and i on this plane? There's plenty of room you know...feel free to join in...

 

[Cathleen]

Sasser Airlines, Inc...thank you very much


i think it is a gift, actually...a gift from the gods to keep us sane in the most trying times...

Ahh...but its not my turn to go on...tis yours, my sister in quite alot...

Guide this raggedly bit of an Aeroplane on to the White Mountains...let's see this place that feeds your peace...

Good thing this plane has a well equipped galley...i've got a hankering for some cookies...

What do you think...chocolate chip...or death-by-chocolate...

Hmm....


So many views and just Cate and i on this plane? There's plenty of room you know...feel free to join in...

Yes, I agree...all are welcome to join our flights of fancy and peace!

Onward we go at Sassar Air... I think the best thing to do would be fly around the White Mountains, you can see Mount Washington...elevation of 6,200 feet....the highest point in New England..... snow capped all year round..... you will need your mittens and jacket when we climb to the top in the cog railway!
But that is for later...just for now...gaze out the windows and see the granite mountains....jagged and rough hewn looking....so unlike the Green Mountains of Vermont.

Take it all in.... there a sweet quaint New England village all through the area..... each having a slightly different feel to them..... we can circle around and I'll point out some of the mountains...over there you will see Twin Peaks.... aptly named.... for the two peaks.... almost identical.... and a cute village called Sugar Hill.... I go there for the maple syrup each Spring....so yummy and the sweet smell invaded the area....we can drive over there and have a maple snowcone one of these days.... what a treat!

Just over there to the west is Cannon Mountain...an excellent ski mountain.... not far away is where The Old Man of the Mountains used to be....so sad that it crumbled..... it was majestic to look up and see that.... I have pictures ar the house to show you..... we will be over Lincoln soon.... where my home is.... I still say "is" because it will always be my home..... no matter what it is my home, where my soul was home. But all these mountains hold a piece of my soul.....carefree and joyful.

We can set this plane down in a nearby field..... not far from my home.... we are in the White Mountains, a national park, in the Mount Washington Valley. All around us are mountains...nothing huge, just large enough to know we are small on this earth. To know that we matter but not as much as we sometimes think.

Ahhhh, here we are, the house. A large old New England colonial. It is three stories tall....each floor has a kitchen and a bath. It was built a long time ago as the servants quarters for the mansion on the hill right down the street. The owner of the mansion built two beautiful homes for his employ, he must have cared a great deal for them, as the home is lovely.

Come in... drop your bags here....let me show you around.... we enter through the side door, because friends always enter thru there.... the best friends. Into the "mud room" just leave your things here, we'll get them in awhile. Into the kitchen we are now....not too large, but large enough to make a nice meal and enjoy the senery of the back yard. There is a full bath just off to the left... but lets move into the living room... its two parts really.... where the fireplace is. Oh a handsome stone fireplace with an old barn beam running across as a mantel.... my Mom always saved the boxes from valentine's day, the candy heart shapes, and placed them there as a sweet reminder of her favorite holiday. A holiday we celebrated as a family, of love and care for one another. There are very large windows everywhere.... not the normal size for most house...no these are larger.... each pane is probably 18"x18" and run 9 panes over 9 panes.... so you can see the mountains.... and know you are in the valley.

The other part of the living room is for quiet relaxation and there is music there too....always music. Off this part of the home is a door leading to an outdoor deck. Even in winter I would sit out there....just mesmerized by the mountains, the quiet and stillness. I could breath there like no other place on earth. On a sunny day you could comfortably stay out there and feel the sun warm you to your toes.

We can have lunch there if you'd like..... just sit on the wooden porch.... we can sit on the pile of firewood if you'd like.... its all just comfortable. But on with the tour.... still on the first floor past the center staircase...is large bedroom.... with THE most comfortable bed in the world.... you can sleep there if you'd like....but actually is like a double king size.... and if you do sleep there...be prepared to sleep like a baby! You'll not want to get up... and since you can look out the two windows and see the world, sometimes you just won't get up! Thats ok too.... I'll even bring you a cup of tea to you..... as I have mine out on the porch!

Ok... up that center staircase we go.... this floor is like a horse shoe shape.... there are three bedrooms... mine as a child was the one on the right.... my brothers had the largest one at the front of the house.... all have those great windows so you can peer out all the time.... then there is a little room.... just perfect for an afternoon nap or reading... very cozy... and yes, there is a kitchen on this floor too.... down a little hall.... and another bedroom and bath too.

The third floor is a special place.... its an apartment unto itself now.... the "secret stairway" was boarded up years ago... and was a favorite hinding place for me as a kid..... but this apartment has a cute kitchen.... and wonderful bedroom... with the dormeres..... two windows looking out at the mansion hill... and a warm living room... great for having friends over.

In the basement there is ping pong to play and darts.... we had a workbench set up to keep our skis in shape... and of course music there too..... everywhere music!

So make yourself at home Joanna.... feel free to open all the doors....there are tons of them in this home.... and look in the nooks and crannies... there are some treasures built into the house... big large closets that would hold far more than clothes.... and yes, lots of board games...for the nights without power....

But at this time of year, my favorite thing to do is sit on the porch and listen to the snow melt.... you can hear it pouring off the mountains... filling the rivers and streams.... getting ready for the swimming holes.... now, remember this...its snow...it NEVER gets warm!! LOL

Oh I fogot... a great treat in the back yard... a relpica of the house... its life size if you're a kid.... it has 3 rooms!! We would play in there all the time in the summer.... it was just for us...the kids!! Adults were not allowed... so come in.... I have a few deck chairs there....and yes music!! A little porch on this house too..... its just the greatest place!!

We can take a walk through the woods in the back if you'd like.... but right now... I think maybe we should have a cup of tea and listen to the snow melt.... the sound really does fill the air.... that whoussshhinnngg sound.... the water flowing down quickly.... and the maple trees are giving their sap.... there is a bucket on the tree out front.... we can check that in awhile.... but lets just sit... and breath and listen.....

Welcome to my home Joanna.... I hope you will be peaceful here as I always am... and I look forward to showing you the sights!




this is the place where certain abuse never happened.... that is why it will always be safe and full of peace for me.

 

[Cathleen]

Time for a trip Joanna, I just checked the weather atop Mount Washington, its a balmy 43 degrees! Lets travel northward....we can be there in an hour.....and take the travel road to the top....you wouldn't believe the views....and along the road be careful where you look down! There are a few places where you think you will fall off the earth! Its beautiful and the weather can change in an instant so keep the mittens and jacket handy. The worlds highest wind speed was clocked here at 231 mph!! There is the observatory and the weather station...there are scientists here all year round doing their thing! A very interesting place for sure.....well if you are a weather nut like me!

Mount Washington is the Northeast's highest peak, 6,288-foot Mt. Washington. There are remarkable views of the Presidential Range, the White Mountain National Forest and beyond...just so captivating. The route, the views and the magic of this mountain sanctuary have remained largely unchanged since travelers began winding their way up Mt. Washington in 1861. The "Road to the Sky" was an unprecedented engineering achievement and remains the first man-made attraction in the United States!

The breathtaking vistas reveal themselves around every bend of the 8-mile path to the top of New England. The average grade of 12% slopes ever upward on the mostly paved road, reaching up more than a mile in the sky. Just a little imagination can conjure up images of the days when mountain wagons drawn by six horse teams traversed the very same ridges.

At the summit there is the "Sherman Adams State Park Building", when we arrive back home I will show you his home, his was a nieghbor. Mr. Adams was Governor of New Hampshire and one of the founders of Loon Mountain. What a good soul he was....always took the time to talk with us, had THE best stories and never failed to remember a name! He was a true friend and statesman.

We can take all the time we want up here, there is lots to see and observe with the ever changing weather....the clouds forming give me hours of fun and its as if you can see forever and ever. And from certain vantage points we can look to "Tuckermans Revine" and watch the spring skiiers. Its a treat for the true backcountry skiier...but you must know what you're doing or there have been tragic events here as well. You walk up the "bowl" and ski down.....a special treat for that "last run of the season" for any die hard skiier....and yes, I've done it a few times!

Breath in the fresh mountain air, its warm today and not that windy either, which is so unusual. When you're ready to go we can drive back down and that is a rush unto itself! You'll almost want to scream out "wheeeee" as we descend. There is the Mount Washington Hotel, I thought we could have dinner at this stately resort. You look upon it from a distance and just feel the old days, when ladies and gentlemen took their summer rest here. Its been restored and is absolutely lovely, every detail remains and its bursts with elegance.

We can take the long way home tonight, and if its chilly we can build a fire and reflect upon the beauty of the mountains. Enjoy some light conversation and relax. Ahhhhh home again.

 

[Cathleen]

btw...I like the AV you have!! Exotic!

 

[Cathleen]

Today was a day of rest at home, just feeling at peace in this old house. Looking at "my" mountains....just being apart of it.

Tomorrow we can go to "The Flume", a gorgeous place....its a natural gorge. We can follow the walk to the top....but then, follow me....over here. I know of a special place not far up the hill, its not part of the trail, but that won't stop us.... there is a beautiful vista up this way.... not too long of a hike, follow along the path with me....we can jump from rock to rock and over and under tree branches..... its the woods afterall......

You can hear the small animals scurry and when we reach this vista we will be in an opening to see the sky and will probably see hawks too..... I love it up here.... is as though no one knows its here..... the proverbial "off the beaten trail".... we make our own trail..... there is great fauna here and the spring growth is evident.

You can hear that snow rushing down the moutains....and smell the earth come to life again..... fresh, earthy and clean. Up here is this great big chunk of granite.... you can almost climb it as there are "steps" to follow.... made by Mother Nature.... I remember coming here years ago and just sitting.... listening.... feeling peace wash over me.... I would stay as long as possible before the sun would fall behind the mountains.... needing just enough daylight to make my way back down to the "visitors trail" and back to civilization......

We have plenty of time today.... we can stop now and again on our way back down..... keep climbing...we're almost to that place.... just a few more steps and you will come out into the open and just see what I am talking about. Come on Joanna.... here we are, its wide open..... sitting atop a small hill....we can look up to the mountains and down to the valley too.... all around is life.... nature.... no noise other than the water flowing down.... and the animals sending their greetings....

We can linger here....I've packed a snack.... and some books if you want.... I think I will use my sketch pad and draw this peace I am feeling.... just be and do what you want...... here all is well.

 

[Hisownprecious]

Just today i need a place like this...a place to just be and forget that the world beyond this place exists...

Cate, i'm so glad that you brought me here...i haven't ever been to such a beautiful place...i read your words and my heart wept at the peacefulness of it all...knowing this place will be a very good thing for me...i am blessed to be sharing this with you...

Today...i just want to sit back and feel...just let my primal senses take over...refresh ourselves as the earth so often does...we should learn great lesson from her....from this earth that keeps us...she lives long...she sheds her layers...she sleeps... she is reborn....

Big deep remembering breaths here, Cate...these moments...this peace that you know so well....i will take a piece of this with me when we are forced back to this harsh reality...

Thank you for this, Cate...this is always a hard week for me... our visit here is so refreshing...its helping me to focus on the important things...

i'm so glad you have this...and i am truly grateful to you for sharing it with me...



j.

 

[Cathleen]

Hi Joanna..... I'm thrilled this is giving you peace.... just as your trip did for me..... tomorrow we'll take another trip if you'd like....there are so many special places here for me.... the memories are helping me too!

 

[Cathleen]

Joanna.... this is the house!

 

[Cathleen]

Joanna..... The Flume

 

[Cathleen]

Another shot of The Flume..... that hike I wrote of starts at the top of this area.... off the beaten trail!