"Her loins screamed for him."

[pop_54]

I kiked the dor down and cummed in her fase, an her loins screamed at me, "fuck off basterd", so I cummed on them as well wiv my 18 inch cok to as well an fucked off for a beer.

 

[tolyk]

I kiked the dor down and cummed in her fase, an her loins screamed at me, "fuck off basterd", so I cummed on them as well wiv my 18 inch cok to as well an fucked off for a beer.

I dunno, but I thought that was pretty damn sexy...
Hey Pop, how you doin'?

 

[pop_54]

I dunno, but I thought that was pretty damn sexy...
Hey Pop, how you doin'?

Extract from one of my better efforts mate , I'm fine ta, and you?

 

[tolyk]

Extract from one of my better efforts mate , I'm fine ta, and you?

I'm great, enjoying the responces I'm getting in the thread I just started, and starting to prepare myself for the long night of billiards I have ahead of me.

 

[Guest]

Does that make me one of the Sexy Men you talk about in the other thread? </fishing for complement>

YES!!!!!

I already told you so in that bloody stupid waste of space last person to post thread.



Put yer rod away now. Or not.

 

[Guest]

Eyup, Pops. Come listen to my loins. P.

 

[shereads]

You know, if I ever have to explain why I choose to avoid most cliché romance novel lines, I think I'll refer to this thread.

The screaming loins are from a free dirty story accessed randomly during a late-night procrastination break.

Not that I haven't read my share of bodice-rippers. When I was a young Bible Belter, that was as close as I could get to erotica. Even now, when I feel intimidated by the idea of writing erotica, I gather courage from flipping through lesser-known authors in the Romance section at Barnes & Noble, to see just how bad it's possible to be and still receive a review like "Steamy sexuality...Your loins will yell YaHOOO."

(Okay, I made up the review.)

 

[pop_54]

Eyup, Pops. Come listen to my loins. P.

Hmm yum, yum

 

[Guest]

I kiked the dor down and cummed in her fase, an her loins screamed at me, "fuck off basterd", so I cummed on them as well wiv my 18 inch cok to as well an fucked off for a beer.

Bloody hell, Pops! Warn me next time, ok?

I need to get my jeans open...

 

[Guest]

(Okay, I made up the review.)

Sher, you could write a book of fake reviews like that. I'd buy it. P.

 

[shereads]

Sorry, describing a hard cockhead as a 'purple baby fist' still tops my list.


Sincerely,
ElSol

YIKES.

Excuse me for a moment while I eradicate that word-picture by recording over it.

 

[pop_54]

Bloody hell, Pops! Warn me next time, ok?

I need to get my jeans open...

Sorry love, I forgot

 

[Guest]

YIKES. Excuse me for a moment while I eradicate that word-picture by recording over it.

My reaction too. P.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I was doing fine with my last sex scene until I mentioned the word "fetlocks" ...

 

[shereads]

Sher, you could write a book of fake reviews like that. I'd buy it. P.

Would you pay to publish it, and failing that, would you like to have it as a public comment?

 

[shereads]

Twisted sister Abs sent me this link and I'm still snickering. You'll quickly see why it belongs in this thread. Enjoy.

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

 

[DrFreud]

Twisted sister Abs sent me this link and I'm still snickering. You'll quickly see why it belongs in this thread. Enjoy.

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/

Sher,
you're too much

Do you know where I could get "Lord of the Tube Socks"

DrF

 

[shereads]

Sher,
you're too much

Do you think so? Sometimes I feel like there's not enough of me.

 

[DrFreud]

Sometimes I feel like there's not enough of me.

That has certainly been true lately. Been busy I suppose?

When the Brits go off to sleep, there hasn't been much action around here unfortunately. We should change that, no?

DrF

 

[matriarch]

Do you think so? Sometimes I feel like there's not enough of me.

Sher.......there could never be enough of you........

 

[impressive]

Her loins screamed for him. Unfortunately, her previously clenched asshole sneezed at the same time and rather spoiled the moment.

I really think that should be "spoilt" in Shang-speak (and about 2,200 words longer).

(I'm with min, though. PMSL!)

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/let_one.jpg

 

[Kate.E]

A tip - stay away from a woman who has lions. They can be dangerous.

 

[rgraham666]

One with assault rifles is generally a bad idea too.

 

[Guest]

Scrabble!

I want to laugh, shriek with laughter, fall off my chair. This was once the game of old women, old men, in the summers or retirement villas, to be played when there was nothing good on television. Or of adolescents, once, long long ago. My mother had a set, kept at the back of the hall cupboard, with the Christmas-tree decorations in their cordboard boxes. Once she tried to interest me in it, when I was thirteen and miserable and at loose ends.
- from The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood

'Tis true.

My life is Art.

Time's trap, I'm caught in it. I must forget about my secret name and all ways back. My name is Offred now, and here is where I live.

Live in the present, make the most of it, it's all you've got.

Time to take stock.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I really think that should be "spoilt" in Shang-speak (and about 2,200 words longer).

Damnit, I'm only half way through my 12-step program for weeding out wordy archaic mannerisms. Work with me, people!

http://www.worldoflongmire.com/features/romance_novels/let_one.jpg

You know, I just realized this - that man has a massively deformed left arm. I mean - look where it is at the shoulder, and then look at the angle from his elbow to his hand. Maybe there's a hidden third person reaching out from underneath him?

Shanglan