How can I Orgasm faster(male)

[SuicideSurvivor]

Hey, I am a 19 year old male who has a problem(well she says it not a problem but to me it is). When i am messing around with my girlfriend(we are talking hand jobs and oral sex not intercourse) it takes me FOREVER to climax. I will get her off three times normally before i get off. It wasn't that bad but with the 2 girls before her it didn't happen at all, and with her the last time it took a good four hours! Can anyone tell me how I could possibly Orgasm faster, because this is just a nuisance. Any help is appreciated.

 

[BirdsWife]

I will get her off three times normally before i get off.

Honey, that isn't a problem. That's the way to keep the ladies in your life very happy.


Seriously, I think you just may be trying too hard. You may be focusing so much on the end result that you aren't able to relax and simply enjoy the pleasure of the act itself. Perhaps you could try a bit of reverse psychology on yourself. The next time your girl goes down on you or gives you a hand job, make it your goal not to cum. Concentrate on the sensation of her mouth or hand instead and just relish every stroke of her hand or lick of her tongue. If she doesn't mind, you might want to throw in some dirty talk to help stimulate you as well. Once you are really into what she is doing because it feels good instead of it being a way to get off, that orgasm might just sneak up on you.

Also remember that there is no written rule that every guy must orgasm from a hand job or oral sex. It is a different sensation than having intercourse, and some guys simply aren't wired to cum that way. So enjoy it for the pleasure it gives you and your partner, and look at any orgasm you get from it as a nice bonus.

 

[SuicideSurvivor]

thanks for the advice. I'm going to see her for the first time in 5 months in a week. We'll see what happens

 

[jeepman6]

Hey, I am a 19 year old male who has a problem(well she says it not a problem but to me it is). When i am messing around with my girlfriend(we are talking hand jobs and oral sex not intercourse) it takes me FOREVER to climax. I will get her off three times normally before i get off. It wasn't that bad but with the 2 girls before her it didn't happen at all, and with her the last time it took a good four hours! Can anyone tell me how I could possibly Orgasm faster, because this is just a nuisance. Any help is appreciated.

wonder if this "problem" is contagious and if I can have it.

 

[ldlarry52]

Interesting Problem

SS, Interesting problem. You arn't the only one posting recently with similar problem. Birdswife gave good advice, I'd follow it. Let us all know how things go when you see her next.

LDLarry52

 

[Nonchalant]

lol.. i want your problem too!

 

[SuicideSurvivor]

Trust me guys, it sound like a great deal(and probably will be when I start having intercourse) but for now it is mortifying. I’m off at college and the girl I spoke of before is studying abroad so we are separated during school (she comes home for Xmas in a week ) so I’ve been messing around a little bit. Trust me, the feeling is no good when a girl cries because she can’t please you. That was the last girl I hooked up with here. One of the main reasons I am attracted to, and infatuated with the girl abroad is the fact that, like most of you, she sees no problem with spending lots of time. We messed around for 4 hours until it happened. I guess what I’m saying is it’s a double-edged sword. It’s awesome because I can go all night, but sucks because I have to.

 

[Bobmi357]

You don't mention how often you masturbate, but frequent masturbation can have a temporary desensitizing effect.

If you do masturbate frequently you might want to consider cutting it way back a week before your girl shows up. This will put you on a pretty short fuse, and give yourself time to become more sensitive.

I know from personal experience that the more I masturbated, the longer I lasted. You never mentioned it in your post, but it can have a bearing on your problem.

Also you might want to consider varying the length of the foreplay as well as perhaps cutting out the penis play if there is too much of it during foreplay.

Sometimes you can come right to the brink of orgasm and then stop, but the body goes right on thinking it just had one and therefore doesn't need another. Try to avoid any activity which brings you to the brink if you're not going to go all the way.

Another thing that might be causing part of your problem is your selection of condom. Some condoms are so thick you wouldn't feel it if your girlfriend smacked it with a hammer while wearing it. Perhaps you might try one of the lambskin variety. They are thinner and more prone to transferring sensation. The downside of the lambskins are instead of being 99.5% effective against pregnancies and stds, lambskins are roughly 95% effective.

Quite honestly I don't think this is as bad a problem as you might think. BUT if you start obsessing over it, it will become worse. SO BAD in fact that only professional assistance will dig you out of the hole. So don't worry about coming, relax and enjoy your girlfriend.

 

[greenhell138]

I'm 18 and I've got the exact same problem. It takes me forever, whereas my GF goes off like a damn shotgun.

 

[highguage]

if i want to I can cum in under a minute. but when I am having sex i can usualy last about 20 minutes before i need to blow my load

 

[Little Bird]

How long do you need when you're doing it yourself? When you only need as long as "normal", I think it is by no way something phisicaly (rights word?).

 

[SuicideSurvivor]

great advice about the condoms and such, but it doesn't apply to me. if you read up, we don't hae intercourse. And about the masterbation thing, i don't do it that often, i'll do it either once a day or not at all. Normaly about 2 times in 3 days. But she shes around i dont do it at. And to answer the question with me by myself it takes 10 minutes normally. The last 4 times i was with a girl, two last 4 hours, and two the girl just gave up. The girl whos coming back in the states never gave up not once. I wantyed to give up and she wouldn't let me. She a catch let me tell you that!

 

[DuckLover]

There are a lot of guys (myself included) who basically don't cum from oral sex. Many guys don't cum from handjobs either, or it takes a long time. In some cases, oral doesn't provide the necessary friction even though it feels amazing. And with handjobs, the speed, angle, and pressure are different than when you do it yourself, so your body isn't trained to cum as quickly.

Here are a couple other things to try:

1) Switch up your play. Some positions and techniques just don't do it for some people. Experiment with and without lube; try different hand grips; try dirty talk or simultaneous nipple play; many guys can have huge orgasms if their partner plays with the guy's ass (especially prostate stimulation) while sucking/jerking. The main thing is to not fall into a routine that doesn't work. (One definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior while expecting a different result!)

2) Finish yourself off. You know you can make yourself cum, and it will probably be even better when there's a hot naked chick there with you. So when she's been sucking/jerking for a while and you really want to cum, just reach down and take over. She'll probably appreciate the help (especially if she's getting tired) and some women get very turned on by seeing their guy gush. Experiment with where she wants it to go-- cum all over her or cum all over you!

3) Teach her. Especially in the case of a partner with whom you have a long-term relationship, teaching her how you like to get off is worthwhile. Sometime when you're messing around, just masturbate for her; put on a show. Make sure the lighting is good so that she can see what you're doing. If she pays attention while you're stroking, she'll be able to learn a lot about how you get off-- how fast you like it; if you change speeds at the end; if you squeeze harder at some point; if you grab your balls near the end; where you focus your stroking (shaft vs tip); what signs indicate that you're close to cumming. Let her wrap her hand around yours so she gets the feel of how you like it. Masturbation can have very subtle variations that make a big difference in your reaction.

Remember, most guys have trouble cumming if they just switch hands! In that case, you still have total control and instant feedback. It's unfair to expect another person to be anywhere near as good at getting you off as you are, at least without some help and direction from you. As with most sex-related problems, a big part of the solution is communication.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[SuicideSurvivor]

great advice man. in these 4 hour ordeals it has been me finishing myself in the end already. I dateda girl a year and a half and she got me off maybe 6 times and we fooled around everyday. It just kinda sucks getting myself off all the time.
About the anal, i fucking love it, and try to hint that to girls, but there is no way im gonna come out and say it for fear of the reaction.

 

[SuicideSurvivor]

Update on my Life

To update you on my life, someone asked for it, her is how it's gone to hell sicne you last heard from me.

I have come home from school, to find an email in my box stating that the girl i have been speaking so highly of is going back to the guy she was dating before me. She is currently stay with/having sex with him. It's 1 am, so i would assume the later is probably occuring as we speak.

As my Username might suggest, I suffer from undiagnosed depression. Well that's soon to be cured, but it will soon become DIAGNOSED depression. A friend of mine told my school about my attempted suicides and now I have to go through a pyscological exam before I can return to school. She may very well be the best friend i've ever had. She told me that even if it would make me hate her she had to get me help. This whole situation has an upside. A lot of my friends have stuck by me and her being very nice, and i have gotten 10 fold closer to my family.

We will have to wait 'til the next girl comes around to see what happens. That reminds me i'm suppossed to call my last hook up tonight! Talk to you guys later!

 

[lovechild27]

wow...people actually want the sex to be over SOONER than LATER?

Im in shock...lol

 

[wicked woman]

Re: Update on my Life

Originally posted by SuicideSurvivor
To update you on my life, someone asked for it, her is how it's gone to hell sicne you last heard from me.

I have come home from school, to find an email in my box stating that the girl i have been speaking so highly of is going back to the guy she was dating before me. She is currently stay with/having sex with him. It's 1 am, so i would assume the later is probably occuring as we speak.

As my Username might suggest, I suffer from undiagnosed depression. Well that's soon to be cured, but it will soon become DIAGNOSED depression. A friend of mine told my school about my attempted suicides and now I have to go through a pyscological exam before I can return to school. She may very well be the best friend i've ever had. She told me that even if it would make me hate her she had to get me help. This whole situation has an upside. A lot of my friends have stuck by me and her being very nice, and i have gotten 10 fold closer to my family.

We will have to wait 'til the next girl comes around to see what happens. That reminds me i'm suppossed to call my last hook up tonight! Talk to you guys later!

Thanks for the update...actually your name always concerned me. Sorry to hear about your break up but the friend who told your school is a good friend...putting your best interest ahead of her friendship with you. Consider yourself lucky. Hope you get the help you need...glad to see you looking at the upside. Hope things get better for you.