How did you learn that??

[MaBelle3120]

So I came across an article that published the "sexts" that Jeff Bezos sent to his mistress, and they were so awkward. Nothing sexy about them. To be fair, with that much money, I guess he doesn't need to be good at sexting and dirty talk, but that brings me to my question...

How did you learn to talk dirty? Porn? Erotica? Partners? Maybe still can't do it with a straight face?

 

[dolf]

I think I've only ever come across one man who could actually do dirty talk without sounding ridiculous.
Maybe asking people to rate themselves as able to is a mistake.

 

[Ann_Tagonist]

So I came across an article that published the "sexts" that Jeff Bezos sent to his mistress, and they were so awkward. Nothing sexy about them. To be fair, with that much money, I guess he doesn't need to be good at sexting and dirty talk, but that brings me to my question...

How did you learn to talk dirty? Porn? Erotica? Partners? Maybe still can't do it with a straight face?

I've never really needed it. If you're good at the physical stuff, there's not a big demand for talking about it.

 

[Dribble]

What's so hard about it? If you know your partner, it is easy. No different than whispering in her ear when you are at her parent's house.

 

[Jada59]

It seems to come naturally to me. I had a male coworker say that I was the girl who could make anything sound dirty. I used to go out of my way to do that. I seem to have toned it down quite a bit in terms of talking in general.

But sexting? I just say what I want. That being said, when looking the messages over, there's a lot of repetitive stuff.

Once, long ago when I knew ahead of time that I'd be doing it, I looked stuff up in the thesaurus and had a list of words and phrases. The guy wound up doing similar and we had the most comical conversation. That being said, I love sex and love to laugh so it wasn't that much out of the norm for me.

 

[Jada59]

What's so hard about it? If you know your partner, it is easy. No different than whispering in her ear when you are at her parent's house.

Not quite the same. When you type something out, you always have the option of changing your words before you send. And you are not actually touching the other person. I am pretty vocal during sex. Not everyone is.

 

[Saint Peter]

a picture is worth
a thousand words

 

[lovetoread]

i suck at sexting - it also doesnt do anything for me

 

[raindancer]

I'm a terrible flirter so my sexting is less than thrilling.

 

[cosmic_peach]

How did you learn to talk dirty?

That is an interesting question. I don't know if my experience is unique or not but it seems to an instinctual urge in my cases. The first time, with my first GF, it was while we were having hot slow sex the "f" word came up, either she said "I love when you fuck me" or I said "Do you like fucking like this?" I cannot recall exactly. It just seemed instinctual like something that had to be said at that moment. Once Pandora's Box was opened, it just went from there. She did not use the "c" word (cunt) in our brief sex life but pretty much every other word as did I. Later in life (and now) having sex with mature and experienced women it starts much quicker in the relationship and, again, it seems instinctual. I usually try to suss out the more risky words (slut, whore, etc.) prior to using them. Many years ago (in the 80's) I was having a super hot session with a lover and I took a chance in that I didn't have pre-clearance (which can spoil the effect) and said something like "do you like being my own private little whore?" she liked that a lot was the response I got both verbally and physically. She was the most uptight, least erotic partner, I have had and it was a risk to say that but it worked out. My last two lovers (one being current) were (are) exemplary in this area, I get emails, phone calls etc. that are extraordinarily explicit and the hot sex talk is rarely tender, it is mostly extreme X rated ("c" words, "slut for you" etc.). One thing I must be crystal clear on is that no woman I have ever been with was talked dirty to in an effort to degrade or humiliate them, it was always a mutual turn-on. That is a fine line that is hard to delineate but it has been a thrilling line for all involved so far.

 

[Salacious_B_Crumb]

Bezos definitely has a type. New chick looks exactly like the old one. Only difference is the old one is the richest woman in the world now and the new one will probably get a car and a house and told to fuck off in a few months.

 

[liqueur]

How did you learn to talk dirty? Porn? Erotica? Partners? Maybe still can't do it with a straight face?

Maybe its a cultural thing, or else a generational one. Growing up relatively poor in a very rural area in the 50s and 60s, among kids who for the most part made my family look 'well-off,' talking dirty was just part of the stuff of life. All the guys half the girls just talked that way. It wasn't put-on, and porn didn't exist in our world. We created our own porn, mostly through language.

Parents frowned on it, even though a lot of them, talked that way too, when they thought we didn't hear. (how else would we have learned it?) So we had one language to use around adults, another one to use amongst ourselves. Innuendo and double-talk were high art forms which to this day are more interesting to me than just dirty language

But to use that same dirty language in the bedroom (or more likely, in those days, in the back of a big Ford station wagon)— that's always been awkward and unnatural for me. It seems like both dirty talk and innuendo are the languages of flirtation and courtship. Once all that's past, and you're getting down to business, a more intimate language seems to be in order. But that's me; I have no idea how any of my friends of those times talked in those situations.

 

[CandiCame]

It seems to come naturally to me. I had a male coworker say that I was the girl who could make anything sound dirty. I used to go out of my way to do that. I seem to have toned it down quite a bit in terms of talking in general.

But sexting? I just say what I want. That being said, when looking the messages over, there's a lot of repetitive stuff.

Once, long ago when I knew ahead of time that I'd be doing it, I looked stuff up in the thesaurus and had a list of words and phrases. The guy wound up doing similar and we had the most comical conversation. That being said, I love sex and love to laugh so it wasn't that much out of the norm for me.

People have told me that, too. Like... that I always sound like I'm flirting. I think that I'm just such a big nerd that it doubles over and becomes "adorkable". I don't try to do that. I also couldn't tell you if I was good at it or not, but honestly I'm just really straightforward, so when I'm "sexting" I do usually just say something like, "Oh holy shit we're gonna have an hour alone today, you know how rare that is. If you want some dick it is PRIME 'come get some dick' time. Jump on that."

It's never really meant to be particularly sexy. My 'sexts' are... now that I think about it pretty much 100% scheduling. Especially because my bf doesn't live near me so I just tell the truth. Sometimes I just send messages like, "Jesus Christ it's been so long, I really need to see you" and I think that counts. Like... you're probably not gonna jack off to my texts, you just... are made aware that dick is available to you, should you want to take advantage of that.

My gf goes out of her way to send me what she thinks is the least sexy pics and it's adorable. She sends me pics of her brushing her teeth and shit. That took me a while to get used to because I was like, "Why did you send me this??" But that's just how she is. She sent me a pic yesterday and the angle made it look like she was eating soap, and she had soap all over her face and I was like, "Are you eating soap??" Then she told me it was a dishrag and anyway, I fuck her. So...

My bar's not real high for sexts.

Oh, if I am going to get laid that day, and I know it, because I'm into bdsm sometimes folk will send me instructions and I think that's sexy. That's probably the one actual 'not also humor' kind of sexting I do.