How do i act more dominant?

[Dreyk66]

So I seem to keep finding women that im attracted to who are turned on by control and masocism and other things like that. Im generally a gentle person and though if i watch videos or read stories with these themes i kinda like it but i have a hard time crossing this line of fear.

Being afraid of going to far or doing something that bothers her and then things not being right after that. Should i just avoid women that this apeals to or is there a way to kinda get past the fear to some extent

 

[MaraJade1978]

Reading up on it is a good tool. I am like those women and i like a guy to be in control, but I've also found guys who like a woman to be in control as well. It was tough for me at first to be able to get into that role. I was afraid of looking silly or stupid. You might want to start slowly...you say that you've liked some of what you read, so you may want to take what you've liked and "tone it down" to a level that you'd feel comfortable doing right now, if things go well you can always take it up gradually as you feel ready. If it is an idea that appeals to you, by all means go for it. After a couple times it'll get easier, i promise!! Best of luck to you!!

 

[SweetErika]

You and your partner must communicate extensively to avoid going wrong if you're getting into BDSM, or just D/s. So, you'll want to talk to your partner at length, asking what she wants, doesn't want, her limits are, etc., then ease into it and work up to more intense activity. I find a BDSM checklist to be a good way to assess interests, limits, fantasies and potential problems for myself and my partner, but it's more a tool to aid communication than anything else.

I found my dominance most when my spouse found his submissiveness and masochism. I can't dominate or be a sadist with anyone who doesn't really want to submit and have the pain. It has nothing to do with acting or playing a role for me, but rather are traits I've found within myself.

I'd suggest checking out the BDSM forum, and particularly BDSM Library sticky, to start exploring and learning.