How do I turn my conservative, religious ...

[Ironton7]

wife of 31 years into a hotwife?

 

[TypicalDeviant]

put her in the oven...

 

[TypicalDeviant]

Okay, fine, I'll give you a real answer.

You don't "turn her" into anything. You can't. You need to talk to her, have an open, honest, conversation about what you want, what she wants, and how you two can meet in the middle.

If she doesn't want to do the things you're into, then you're SOL. So, talk to her and see what gets her going. Start there.

 

[unregistered]

 

[fgarvb1]

If you are married that covers a ...no pun intended...a whole lot of things that are hot and kinky.

 

[CWatson]

Short answer: You don't.

Long answer: You can't make your wife turn into anything. (I'd have thought that, after 31 years of marriage, you'd have known this already; my marriage taught it to me, and I've never had one!) All you can do is make her want to turn into a "hotwife" (as you put it). And, as TypicalDeviant already identified, that will require a lot of talking. You'll need to find out why she has decided not to liberate herself sexually up to this point in time. You'll need to find out which parts of sex she does like. You'll need to find out which parts of sex she doesn't like, so that you can turn them into parts she likes. And, above all, she will need to give herself permission to open those floodgates.

That will be the hard part. She doesn't believe in anything but self-control and iron propriety; that's the foundation of her personality. To a certain extent, sex is the opposite of who she is. And, unfortunately, that's the part of the process you have the least control over. You can't turn her into someone who accepts her carnal side (or even admits she has one). You can only show her what she could stand to gain from it, and hope that's enough to convince her to contradict her own most fundamental self.

And, if you can't... Hey, you lived with it for 31 years. What's 31 more?

 

[cryforme1v]

put her in the oven...

touche!

 

[Noor]

there is a Christian web site about exploring sex, its all married couples. You might search for that.

You might try being a hotter husband too. After all you have been there 31 yrs too. Some times if you change other people change around you.

 

[Vixandra]

Trade her in for a newer model.

Failing that, talk to her! I know, its difficult, you probably hardly know the woman, but open up about what you want in the bedroom.

Also, its difficult to offer advice with so little information.

 

[Carnevil9]

I recommend you check out the "Mind Control" section of the Literotica stories. There are all manner of tricks and techniques for turning unwary females into horny sex-dolls, ranging from psychic techniques to psychotropic drugs to brain-wave generators. No doubt they all work, else these stories would not have been written in the first place.

Good luck!.......Carney

 

[newbiebabe]

there is a Christian web site about exploring sex, its all married couples. You might search for that.

You might try being a hotter husband too. After all you have been there 31 yrs too. Some times if you change other people change around you.

Here is the website I think she is referring to.. it is very good and the women on there are knowledgeable and honestly open about everything.

http://christiannymphos.org/

 

[NightL]

Trade her in for a newer model.

...and if you actually get her to try it, she just may trade you in for a new model...

For the little I know of the term hotwife, you run the risk that once there is the freedom to taste other goods, your wife may well find your package (more than just penis size) and delivery inferior. Why then should she bother to hold onto you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotwife#Hot_wife

Your marriage has lasted 31 years... many don't get that far... respect what has made it last this long... Communication, communication communication... and that is a two-way thing... you will have to respect your wife's responses.

Hotwifing is different to having a threesome. A threesome can be very special if all are participating in one form or another. For me, hotwifing has the image of pushy husbands getting off on the idea of seeing their wife fucked by another, holding their own kink on a higher level than what their wife's initial pleasure may be.

Are you prepared to risk your wife leaving you over this?

Re. conservative and religious... I have met swingers who are very conservative in their daily appearance and were very dedicated to their career within the church.

Why don't you just start with Noor's suggestion:

You might try being a hotter husband too.

 

[Eilan]

You might try being a hotter husband too.

Oh, snap!

 

[Vixandra]

NightL, I wasn't aware of that kink type. Interesting link.

 

[bailadora]

Oh, snap!

[\hijack]

*pounces on Eilan*

Lookin' good, girlie!

[/hijack]

 

[Eilan]

[\hijack]

*pounces on Eilan*

Lookin' good, girlie!

[/hijack]

[hijack]

*pounces back*

Thanks!

[/hijack]

 

[bailadora]

You'll need to find out why she has decided not to liberate herself sexually up to this point in time.

To be honest, the first thing I thought when I read the op was, "What's in it for her?" Maybe she just has no interest in this particular kink. Further, she may be quite happy with her sexuality as it is. IMO, it's all a matter of perspective and to label her sexually unliberated based upon his word alone doesn't seem right.

 

[NippleMuncher]

I recommend you check out the "Mind Control" section of the Literotica stories.

<KOOOSHHHHH>Let the force be with you <KOOOSHHHHH> Ironton7 <KOOOSHHHHH>

[\hijack]

*pounces on Eilan*

Lookin' good, girlie!

[/hijack]

[hijack]

*pounces back*

Thanks!

[/hijack]

Whoa! Wait a minute! Is there room for a NippleMuncher sandwich in all that pouncing?

To be honest, the first thing I thought when I read the op was, "What's in it for her?" Maybe she just has no interest in this particular kink. Further, she may be quite happy with her sexuality as it is. IMO, it's all a matter of perspective and to label her sexually unliberated based upon his word alone doesn't seem right.l

Yup! After 31 years, you both are fairly set in your ways. If you've not been discussing fantasies, preferences, and such over that period of time, then there's probably not a whole lot of chance that this type of conversation will spontaneously erupt. You need to open the lines of communication BEFORE you enter the bedroom, and start discussing what you BOTH like and dislike, preferences, fantasies, etc. You may be pleasantly surprised that she feels the same of you. You may be sorely heart broken that she feels the same of you. Either way, the only means of reconciliation is to start an open and honest line of communication with her in a non-confrontational way and in a neutral environment, about your sex life. This isn't something to blurt out over open mic night at the local karaoke bar, and from the sounds of it, it's something that you'll have to work your way up to, none-the-less, open and honest communication is the key to change.

 

[bailadora]

Whoa! Wait a minute! Is there room for a NippleMuncher sandwich in all that pouncing?

Sure, Nip! We promise not to bite.....too hard!

Either way, the only means of reconciliation is to start an open and honest line of communication with her in a non-confrontational way and in a neutral environment, about your sex life.

I'll also add that it's important to be sure you can handle the truth. I've talked to several people here on Lit who's partners reacted with repugnance, horror or rejection when a particular kink or fantasy was revealed. Realise how much courage it takes to bare one's soul to another person and DON"T react in a negative manner, even if said kink or fantasy is not your cup of tea. Respect the fact that your wife is a seperate person with her own distinct preferences. Those preferences may fall in line with yours, but then again, they may not. There is nothing wrong with being open and honest about what it is that sexually gratifies us, but I do believe it is wrong to try to get someone to change their innate personality merely to fulfill one's own kink.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Sure, Nip! We promise not to bite.....too hard!

I'm trembling with anticipation!

I'll also add that it's important to be sure you can handle the truth.

Agreed, one should not ask questions that one is not willing or wanting to hear an answer to. And, if you do, don't get defensive or reactive about it.

 

[bailadora]

I'm trembling with anticipation!

Oh, I do love a trembling man....so many wicked possibilities!

 

[NippleMuncher]

Oh, I do love a trembling man....so many wicked possibilities!

Somehow I don't believe I stand a chance! You and Eilan will have me whooped in no time ... then it's my turn ...

 

[Ironton7]

Thanks...

to all of you who responded. I appreciate it. D

 

[TypicalDeviant]

to all of you who responded. I appreciate it. D

Any luck? Have you talked to her?

 

[CandR]

Get her a copy of "The Sexually Confident Wife" by Shannon Ethridge. It will help her tie in religion, upbringing, hangups and sex. Worked miracles in this house after 12 years!!!!!