How do you feel...

[Calamity Jane]

I wonder about the same thing now and then. I'm still married, but that gets iffier everyday. I wonder how much luck I'm going to have finding another adult to spend time with when I have two little ones.

But then, I think of my mom. She was 28 when she left my dad, and had 4 little girls in tow. She married about a year later, to a wonderful man who never even thought twice about taking us all on. So, it can happen.

 

[Guest]

I do not have children. And, I have never been with someone who did. So, I really have nothing to base any opinion. But, it is my belief that children are gifts. If the person can not handle children within the relationship, it is best you move on. Love the person, love the children.

 

[exvitermini]

Reverting back to the original question - I wouldn't hesitate to establish a serious relationship with a woman that had children if I were attracted to her strongly enough. The children are a part of her that I would have to accept - the same as her personality and past. It's just part of the package - and sometimes the children can be a very enjoyable addition to the package. I love children.

That being said - a truly difficult child could also jeapordize an otherwise potentially successful relationship. I'm not going to marry a woman with a problem child.

 

[calypso_21]

I wonder about the same thing now and then. I'm still married, but that gets iffier everyday. I wonder how much luck I'm going to have finding another adult to spend time with when I have two little ones.

But then, I think of my mom. She was 28 when she left my dad, and had 4 little girls in tow. She married about a year later, to a wonderful man who never even thought twice about taking us all on. So, it can happen.

I've left with my children too..really this time is about me and no other person but it would be nice to have someone to spend time with. Glad to hear that it does happen though.

 

[calypso_21]

I do not have children. And, I have never been with someone who did. So, I really have nothing to base any opinion. But, it is my belief that children are gifts. If the person can not handle children within the relationship, it is best you move on. Love the person, love the children.

Great philosophy! I feel the same.

 

[calypso_21]

Reverting back to the original question - I wouldn't hesitate to establish a serious relationship with a woman that had children if I were attracted to her strongly enough. The children are a part of her that I would have to accept - the same as her personality and past. It's just part of the package - and sometimes the children can be a very enjoyable addition to the package. I love children.

That being said - a truly difficult child could also jeapordize an otherwise potentially successful relationship. I'm not going to marry a woman with a problem child.

Eventhough I am biased, my children are not problem children so in that respect I am doubly blessed. I have to admit that there are a few moments here and there with my two year old but on the whole he is wonderful. Both listen and are very well mannered.

Interesting, I never really thought of it but I guess I am a package deal now. Hmm...

 

[riff]

A few years back, it would cause me to shy away. Doesn't do that anymore, and I haven't really been in a long term relationship in a very long time (understand.. long term for me means more than a month LOL) so it is hard to say.

Doesn't that stuff usually get worked out as things progress.... like whether the kids are going to be a factor. Seems to me like they would be a factor in the dynamics of things.

I guess it depends on the relationship, the woman, and the kids. The whole deal.

 

[patient1]

WOW!

I love them. I'm pulled by the first one most of all.

Thanks, I thought you might like it. That's another LIT tip- If you like the way a person posts, you'll most likely like the other stuff they write as well.

I like your story, too.

I like pagancowgirl's story about flying to New York, also, for the benefit of others reading this thread

 

[Calamity Jane]

I like pagancowgirl's story about flying to New York, also, for the benefit of others reading this thread

Ya perv. That's a raunchy story! Thanks.

 

[looking4fun]

No problem for me, but maybe I am biased. As I was a child of divorce, so my views my be tilted from being raised by my mom & step-dad. As my real father was too buzy sowing the rest of his wild oats.

 

[Guest]

 

[calypso_21]

A few years back, it would cause me to shy away. Doesn't do that anymore, and I haven't really been in a long term relationship in a very long time (understand.. long term for me means more than a month LOL) so it is hard to say.

Doesn't that stuff usually get worked out as things progress.... like whether the kids are going to be a factor. Seems to me like they would be a factor in the dynamics of things.

I guess it depends on the relationship, the woman, and the kids. The whole deal.

This was what I was wondering...but I was curious also to know if kids put most men off right away.

 

[calypso_21]

Re: this is a subject

that i never thought about till a couple of years ago when my wife was told she has a auto-immune diease that more than likly will shorten her life , to what degree we dont know yet, but back to the question, i am not the type that likes to be alone, i enjoy company, but i have been married so long i dont know how to pick up girls, hopefully i wont have to find out, but i will say if i have to look someday it will not make a differance to me if i find someone with kids ,i would more than likely treat then like my own , and i think most guys if they truley love someone , them having kids wont matter at all!!!

This is very endearing to me. I don't envy your position at this moment but you have a great outlook. Keep smiling...I can feel it from your post.

 

[calypso_21]

Thanks, I thought you might like it. That's another LIT tip- If you like the way a person posts, you'll most likely like the other stuff they write as well.

I like your story, too.

I like pagancowgirl's story about flying to New York, also, for the benefit of others reading this thread

You are so good with these tips. I will read pc's story tonite before bed. I am looking forward to it.

 

[calypso_21]

No problem for me, but maybe I am biased. As I was a child of divorce, so my views my be tilted from being raised by my mom & step-dad. As my real father was too buzy sowing the rest of his wild oats.

Ah, mine too. Oh no he was too busy drinking that stuff made from barley. I get that and oats mixed up all the time.

 

[calypso_21]

Re: Re: How do you feel...

Personally, I'm a single mother as well. I don't care if the person has children or not. I love kids. It isn't an issue either way. The only thing that I could forsee as a problem is a man that doesn't have children that wants them. I can't have anymore. My daughter will be 13. I don't really want to care for infants unless they are grandchildren.

This is an interesting point. I consider myself to still be of the age where I (me here) could have more children. I just don't know if I want to. Who knows here huh?

 

[Guest]

thank you calypso

that is the only reason i am here on the board, just to be friends with all you fine,understanding,supportive people!!!

 

[riff]

This was what I was wondering...but I was curious also to know if kids put most men off right away.

Only a few years ago it did.

 

[calypso_21]

Re: thank you calypso

that is the only reason i am here on the board, just to be friends with all you fine,understanding,supportive people!!!

Am a very supportive individual even though I don't always understand I do try! I am a great listener. Hell, you gotta be in my position.

 

[calypso_21]

Only a few years ago it did.

What changed it?

If I dont' reply right away is cause I am off to feed my little loves...will be back soon.

 

[riff]

Not sure. Even in your 30s you are still growing up, learning, and changing. A few years can make a difference.

We never arrive. I don't know what changed it. Doesn't really matter. That was then, this is now.

 

[Feelin' Naughty]

I am a very lucky woman. When I met my husband I was the single mom of four children, ages 10, 12, 13, and 14. The absolute worst ages! I was always up-front and told any man that asked me out that I was mom of 4. Scared a lot off, but it also weeded out the ones that wouldn't have worked out.
Well, it didn't scare my man off, we have been together for 10 years and my kids all call him Dad. He loves them like they were his own. When we married we included the kids in the ceremony, he was actually "marrying" all 5 of us.
I guess I'm just trying to say that being a "package deal" doesn't matter when you find the right man. (or woman if you're a single dad) Just be honest, and patient, you'll find him. In the meantime, enjoy your babies, they grow up way too fast!

 

[calypso_21]

Not sure. Even in your 30s you are still growing up, learning, and changing. A few years can make a difference.

We never arrive. I don't know what changed it. Doesn't really matter. That was then, this is now.

Oh I definitely agree. I am still growing up an I will never stop learning and changing...I hope to never arrive!

 

[calypso_21]

I am a very lucky woman. When I met my husband I was the single mom of four children, ages 10, 12, 13, and 14. The absolute worst ages! I was always up-front and told any man that asked me out that I was mom of 4. Scared a lot off, but it also weeded out the ones that wouldn't have worked out.
Well, it didn't scare my man off, we have been together for 10 years and my kids all call him Dad. He loves them like they were his own. When we married we included the kids in the ceremony, he was actually "marrying" all 5 of us.
I guess I'm just trying to say that being a "package deal" doesn't matter when you find the right man. (or woman if you're a single dad) Just be honest, and patient, you'll find him. In the meantime, enjoy your babies, they grow up way too fast!

Thank you very much for this FN! I do appreciate it. I definitely am enjoying my babes...they are growing up too too fast. I spend as much time as possible with them and try very hard to do something special with each. Thanks for the encouraging words.

 

[intrigued]

about a person you meet having children?

What if the children don't live with them and only visit?

But what if they do live with your new interest?

I am very curious as I am single now and have two children. I'm curious as to what to expect. Is this a turn off? Or a challenge? Or what?

Caly...these are my feelings, make of them what you will.

If someone is interested in me, and they are not interested in my children....they are history. There is nothing in this world more important than my children, and there never will be. I am not looking for some man to play Daddy to them, and I don't need him to support them or anything else, other than to simply be their friend. This is why I speak so openly of them here, they are me.... and to care for me, well, my children need to be seen for the beautiful people they are, and not a "turn off" or a "challenge".

If YOUR love interest has children...umm....I'm sorry, I guess I don't understand the question???