How do you know when someone is serious?
- Thread starter Rashashea
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SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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You don't. You kindly but firmly tell him it's inappropriate workplace behavior, and it needs to stop. If there's an HR manager, you'll need to talk to them. Document his behavior, the conversation, and anything after that to protect your ass in case he tries to turn it around or something.Rashashea said:
Anyone with such lousy judgement is someone you don't want to be involved with in the first place.
If you hate your job enough to seriously consider screwing around with your boss, find a new job. That'd be far quicker and less painful than the consequences of an affair that will eventually go very, very wrong.
Jailhouse
The Boss of You
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The thing I can't figure out is if you *want* him to be into you or if you are trying to dissuade it.
Here's a little secret about guys that we try not to let women in on: Most men (and note that I am saying most) who make sexually suggestive comments to you actually do want to fuck you, but shroud it in a veil of humor in case you decide to ring the alarm. If you say "THAT'S OUT OF LINE", then a guy can say "I was just joking! Of *course* I wasn't *serious*!!"
But yeah. He is.
Here's a little secret about guys that we try not to let women in on: Most men (and note that I am saying most) who make sexually suggestive comments to you actually do want to fuck you, but shroud it in a veil of humor in case you decide to ring the alarm. If you say "THAT'S OUT OF LINE", then a guy can say "I was just joking! Of *course* I wasn't *serious*!!"
But yeah. He is.
this actually happened to me! my boss and co-workers knew that i was a lesbain and my "male" boss was making suggestions that he could turn me back and suggesting what he could do etc. i just told him to back off. he did and 1 month later he was fired for doing the same thing to a straight worker. it all depends if this kind of behaviour is wanted by you or not.
Private_Label
In the kink toddler pool
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Rashashea said:
Flirting, if you are ok with it is one thing, but talking dirty in a workplace environment is bad. The fact that he is also harassing another co-worker should be a red flag. He may be serious, but it is a serious breech of work ethics. I would also ask your HR what the company policy is about Managers dating their subordinates. Chances are there is a company policy against it.
If your boss is the company, you really need to document all incidences and who was present when he made the comments, and your request that he stop making the comments. You want it documented in case you or your co-worker decide to file for harrassment in the workplace.
TBKahuna123
Back in the Sunshine
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I was never into this kind of thing, so I never really thought it was a problem. I used to laugh at those cheesy sexual harrassment training films, and yes even senstive and understanding me, though that most of this was just blown out of proportion by women. Then I wound up in the middle of it!
This was a few years ago when I was working for a small design firm. My boss was couple years younger than me, very sweet and very cute. Her boyfriend was one of the managers in another department, and we all hung out quite a bit and even travelled a little to conferences and stuff. It was a very young, open, progressive artsy firm, so there was more social interaction than your average corporate office. I'll admit that had I not been married, I would have been tempted to approach her romantically, but respectfully and OUTSIDE the workplace of course. Luckily though, being happily married, I never had to think about all the issues that might arrise, etc. because it wasn't going to happen.
Velentine's day rolled around and I came in one day to find one of those heart candies laying on my mouse pads, the ones with the little sayings? I blew it off, figureint hte phone techs next door had a cnady fight or something. This went on thoguh for a week, and I realized that there were all positioned in the same place, the same way. When the last two said "I Love You", I figured it was one of the guys fucking wiht me and chose to ignore it. I mean there were only a couple gals in the office anyway and they were all attached. Then came a wierd conversation between my boss and myself. She was venting about how Valentines had come and gone and her boyfriend still hadn't proposed to her. She was getting sick of it and was really hurt that he was blowing her off. I agreed that he was acting stupid, because he wasn't going to find anyone better than her. I truly meant that, she was a great gal, and he was just hurting himself by hurting her. I stopped just short of telling her to dump him, because i didn't want to get involved, just offer her a little friendly support. In hindsight...
I then started noticing things I hadn't before. When working on designs, she seemed to linger while leaning over my shoulder, a little closer than usual. She started using strawberry shampoo or perfume or something, which was wierd because that's like the one scent that drives me nuts for soem reason. I realized I had told her that when I had bought some strawberry candles for my wife on one of our business trips that fall. Now I was getting paranoid. Then the big one came, she asked me if it was possible to be in a committed relationship with someone and to be attracted someone else and did that mean you weren't really in love with the person you were committed to. I said that of course it was possible, it's human nature to feel attraction for other people, but that doesn't necessarily mean you love your partner any less. She asked if I'd ever experienced that, and I said sure I have, there are a lot of attractive women out there. At that point I felt like I had just jumped off a cliff. Now I was looking for the parachute. I didn't know what to say now because I didn't want to dig the hole any deeper. Luckily though the conversation changed direction, because we got pulled away for something or other. But I went home that night not paranoid, terrified.
So who do you talked to about something like this? Well for me, I sat down wiht my wife, believe it or not. I laid out everything that had happen, everything I saw, everything she'd said and were my fears were. I of course stated that I was not interested in something happening. To my surpirse my wife just laughed. I took that to mean that she thought I was being silly and seeing somthing that wasn't there, but she agreed I was reading things right. It was all very high schoolish, but yeah, there was something there. I was puzzled by her laughter but she said that if I had wanted to fuck her I would have never talked to my wife about it. I agreed that was true, but a little jealousy would have been nice.
Anyway it wwas all very high schoolish, but it struck me: what if my boss ahs this crush on me and pushes it to the point where I have to reject her? I mean, what would that do to our working relationship and my career? I approached this all by just letting everything go and ignoring it. To my delight it all backed down and kind of went away without further incident. Years later we talked about this after I had moved on and she was embarassed but confirmed that I had read things correctly. She said she knew though that I was happily married and that she didn't want to come between that, nor did she want the rejection I would have given her because she knew I was happy with my wife. In the end it worked out, but it was tense.
SO I know how seemingly innocent banter, a meaningless sexual joke, a casual neck rub, all these silly little things can make a work environment extremely uncomfortable. Office lust makes for a good story on Lit, but like most fantasies, the reality of it is a disaster waiting to happen. Ever seent he movie Disclosure?
This was a few years ago when I was working for a small design firm. My boss was couple years younger than me, very sweet and very cute. Her boyfriend was one of the managers in another department, and we all hung out quite a bit and even travelled a little to conferences and stuff. It was a very young, open, progressive artsy firm, so there was more social interaction than your average corporate office. I'll admit that had I not been married, I would have been tempted to approach her romantically, but respectfully and OUTSIDE the workplace of course. Luckily though, being happily married, I never had to think about all the issues that might arrise, etc. because it wasn't going to happen.
Velentine's day rolled around and I came in one day to find one of those heart candies laying on my mouse pads, the ones with the little sayings? I blew it off, figureint hte phone techs next door had a cnady fight or something. This went on thoguh for a week, and I realized that there were all positioned in the same place, the same way. When the last two said "I Love You", I figured it was one of the guys fucking wiht me and chose to ignore it. I mean there were only a couple gals in the office anyway and they were all attached. Then came a wierd conversation between my boss and myself. She was venting about how Valentines had come and gone and her boyfriend still hadn't proposed to her. She was getting sick of it and was really hurt that he was blowing her off. I agreed that he was acting stupid, because he wasn't going to find anyone better than her. I truly meant that, she was a great gal, and he was just hurting himself by hurting her. I stopped just short of telling her to dump him, because i didn't want to get involved, just offer her a little friendly support. In hindsight...
I then started noticing things I hadn't before. When working on designs, she seemed to linger while leaning over my shoulder, a little closer than usual. She started using strawberry shampoo or perfume or something, which was wierd because that's like the one scent that drives me nuts for soem reason. I realized I had told her that when I had bought some strawberry candles for my wife on one of our business trips that fall. Now I was getting paranoid. Then the big one came, she asked me if it was possible to be in a committed relationship with someone and to be attracted someone else and did that mean you weren't really in love with the person you were committed to. I said that of course it was possible, it's human nature to feel attraction for other people, but that doesn't necessarily mean you love your partner any less. She asked if I'd ever experienced that, and I said sure I have, there are a lot of attractive women out there. At that point I felt like I had just jumped off a cliff. Now I was looking for the parachute. I didn't know what to say now because I didn't want to dig the hole any deeper. Luckily though the conversation changed direction, because we got pulled away for something or other. But I went home that night not paranoid, terrified.
So who do you talked to about something like this? Well for me, I sat down wiht my wife, believe it or not. I laid out everything that had happen, everything I saw, everything she'd said and were my fears were. I of course stated that I was not interested in something happening. To my surpirse my wife just laughed. I took that to mean that she thought I was being silly and seeing somthing that wasn't there, but she agreed I was reading things right. It was all very high schoolish, but yeah, there was something there. I was puzzled by her laughter but she said that if I had wanted to fuck her I would have never talked to my wife about it. I agreed that was true, but a little jealousy would have been nice.
Anyway it wwas all very high schoolish, but it struck me: what if my boss ahs this crush on me and pushes it to the point where I have to reject her? I mean, what would that do to our working relationship and my career? I approached this all by just letting everything go and ignoring it. To my delight it all backed down and kind of went away without further incident. Years later we talked about this after I had moved on and she was embarassed but confirmed that I had read things correctly. She said she knew though that I was happily married and that she didn't want to come between that, nor did she want the rejection I would have given her because she knew I was happy with my wife. In the end it worked out, but it was tense.
SO I know how seemingly innocent banter, a meaningless sexual joke, a casual neck rub, all these silly little things can make a work environment extremely uncomfortable. Office lust makes for a good story on Lit, but like most fantasies, the reality of it is a disaster waiting to happen. Ever seent he movie Disclosure?
jerseyman1963
Really Really Experienced
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As Jailhouse observed, he's probably testing the waters, but giving himself an "out" just in case it's not received appreciatively.
I can't tell if you're liking the attention or not, but I am with Kahuna. Seemingly innocent banter, a "meaningless" sexual joke or a "casual" neck rub at work all make for good fantasy material, but the reality is a disaster waiting to happen. Especially when it's the boss.
I know plenty of couples who met at work and made successful relationships that lasted, but this guy sounds from your description less like he's into you as a person, and more like your run of the mill horn dog just trolling for whatever he can get. Unless you're into his indescriminate nature, AND don't need or want the job, I'd steer clear, ignore him if possible, put him down politely but firmly if necessary, and possibly start looking at your career options for a new job within or without your current company.
I can't tell if you're liking the attention or not, but I am with Kahuna. Seemingly innocent banter, a "meaningless" sexual joke or a "casual" neck rub at work all make for good fantasy material, but the reality is a disaster waiting to happen. Especially when it's the boss.
I know plenty of couples who met at work and made successful relationships that lasted, but this guy sounds from your description less like he's into you as a person, and more like your run of the mill horn dog just trolling for whatever he can get. Unless you're into his indescriminate nature, AND don't need or want the job, I'd steer clear, ignore him if possible, put him down politely but firmly if necessary, and possibly start looking at your career options for a new job within or without your current company.
Jenny_Jackson
Psycho Bitch
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Rashashea said:
You and your coworker should take him into his office and fuck the living shit out of him. Then if her comes back for more, expose him to the world (and his wife)
.(Take lots of pictures)
DirtyKitten
Literotica Guru
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Jenny_Jackson said:You and your coworker should take him into his office and fuck the living shit out of him. Then if her comes back for more, expose him to the world (and his wife)
(Take lots of pictures)
Be sure to get good clear pictures of him in your panties with your high heel up his ass.
Those should be worth more than your 401k. Pachanga32
Really Experienced
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Jenny_Jackson said:You and your coworker should take him into his office and fuck the living shit out of him. Then if her comes back for more, expose him to the world (and his wife)
(Take lots of pictures)
I was kind of thinking that myself, to be honest.
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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How do you feel about your job and husband?Rashashea said:
This is not a bullshit post, this is very true. I do love my husband very much but we are into some mild swinging so we have experienced alot of things together including a 3some with this other coworker, so I think that is why I am having a hard time putting this particular situation out of my mind.
I really love my job tho and wouldn't want to risk it, but what are the chances of getting caught.
I really love my job tho and wouldn't want to risk it, but what are the chances of getting caught.
Jenny_Jackson
Psycho Bitch
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Fucking Business?? Now we're talking
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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Gee, I just assumed all of the posts about your husband being dead-set against you fucking another man meant he wouldn't consent to, or be too thrilled if you fucked your male boss.Rashashea said:
Sorry Nightbird... I guess you all are right, I know it is a recipe for a disaster but it really is hard to put it out of my mind when I am around this man 40 hours a week. And yes my husband for a while said no to any other men until I said we were not having any more 3s with a women then he changed his mind but he says this particular man is not allowed because I work with him and like you all says it will only cause trouble. Thanks for the advice and sorry I do not post more, I tend to be a lurker.. guess that is not good tho.
No hard feelings I hope because I really get good advice here.
No hard feelings I hope because I really get good advice here.
Pachanga32
Really Experienced
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Jenny_Jackson said:Fucking Business?? Now we're talking
I like the way you think!
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