How do you Like your Cuckolds? ;)

[tammytoodles]

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[Somehowyou]

yes

The power is what is hot......most of these guys really wouldn't want their wives to cheat on them (I don't think anyway) but the idea of their wife or female partner bossing them around (domination) excites them.....I know my boyfriend likes me to be a little bossy and aggressive with him sometimes and sometimes I like him to do that to me. Power and control can be very hot

That is probably part of it

 

[agedmac]

I suspect it somehow reaches into our more base instincts. There's some part of me that feels that this phenom goes all the way back to the cave man days when males competed physically for females. I imagine it was not uncommon then for the losing male to not only put up with the indignity of losing the fight but also watching the female he desires get taken by the man that just beat him. I can also imagine back then, when a man and woman were mated that she might harbor desires for some other well hung scantily clad male and that she might enjoy the power she wields in getting them to fight for her and the pleasure she gets from the victor...after all he's far more likely to produce strong offspring, right?

I know for me the above is a part of the equation. However, there's more to it. It's also about truly loving the one your with and wanting her to feel good and being evolved enough to say I don't need to feel threatened by this. Of course, deep down inside that inner cave man really is a little jealous.

One thought, the male and female fantasies are not incompatible. She can be seduced by the mysterious stranger while her mate watches.

Yeah, I think that's true as well..something genetic way way down. I suspect the 'humiliation' side (which I've never really gotten and doesn't turn me on to read) is part of the loss of 'alpha male' role. But we do know (according to anthropologists) that females of our species (and other mammals as well) do NOT seek 'exclusive' relationships and that genetically the idea of having multiple partners increases the 'strength' of the genetic mix of offspring. Thus part of cuckolding may be the 'cheating' part...she's 'getting diversity' which is good for her.

But the other thing I find interesting is that for most of our history women have 'needed' men..to protect her and the children. Well, now that women 'can' be independent financially etc., I'm curious if that allows 'her' to be even more expansive in her sexual partners (she doesn't 'need' us except for the fertilization). So, maybe the idea of cuckolding will be more true in the future?

Still, none of that really explains why it turns us guys on, does it?

 

[HardNightDay]

Yeah, I think that's true as well..something genetic way way down. I suspect the 'humiliation' side (which I've never really gotten and doesn't turn me on to read) is part of the loss of 'alpha male' role. But we do know (according to anthropologists) that females of our species (and other mammals as well) do NOT seek 'exclusive' relationships and that genetically the idea of having multiple partners increases the 'strength' of the genetic mix of offspring. Thus part of cuckolding may be the 'cheating' part...she's 'getting diversity' which is good for her.

But the other thing I find interesting is that for most of our history women have 'needed' men..to protect her and the children. Well, now that women 'can' be independent financially etc., I'm curious if that allows 'her' to be even more expansive in her sexual partners (she doesn't 'need' us except for the fertilization). So, maybe the idea of cuckolding will be more true in the future?

Still, none of that really explains why it turns us guys on, does it?

Interesting thoughts. I'm not sure I'm onboard with the idea that feminism encourages cuckoldry, but something to contemplate for sure. I think it does encourage, compared to more restrictive cultural and social paradigms, the idea that prior to choosing a partner she may want multiple sex partners.

Even if women "need" male protection less in modern society, I'm not sure they would view the situation as I'm better off on my own than in a supportive relationship. I don't think males see it this way either.

As to why this sometimes turns some of us on, depending on the situation, is probably a mix of what's been said: power, role playing our cave man heritage, rebellion against social norms (the naughty factor), or just plain loving our partner and wanting to see them happy and fulfilled. What is almost surprising to me is that it seems many women interested in cuckoldry like it for the same reasons.

 

[fiery__jack]

I'm not a husband so I can't really be a cuckold, but even at a young age, I have a definite fascination with the idea of my girlfriend being with another guy.

I can tell you when it started. I had a rather up and down relationship with my first girlfriend, in which she was often very rude and mean and definitely did dominate the relationship (I'm naturally not a very forward person and it was my first so I wasn't really sure how to deal with it). Anyway, she developed a crush on her teacher, quite a serious one it seemed and would often go on about how much she wanted him and how great he was and how she thought he was giving her signals..
This pissed me off and upset me a lot as I couldn't understand how she could so comfortably just tell me this.

One time when we'd had a fair old falling out I was trying to crack one off while thinking about her, but wasn't really getting anywhere. Suddenly the image of the teacher fucking her, after hours in his office crossed my mind and I felt my cock harden massively. Within seconds of elaborating on this image in my head I'd blown a massive load.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this, so I carried on fantasising about him fucking her behind my back. I even tried to subtley get her to tell me her fantasies about him without looking like I was enjoying the thought. Her crush passed, but later when we were in an on and off phase she was lusting after some other guy and I was at it again.

I'm with another girl now and I love her to bits. She's much nicer this one, but the fantasy has remained. She would never actually think of cheating on me, but she has been happy to humour me and describe fantasy scenarios where she fucks some other guy. I love the idea of seeing my girlfriend, the woman I love from a distance, watching her whole body as it's fucked. Enjoying her facial expressions, the movements of her body and seeing a cock sliding in and out of her without having to worry about pleasing her myself is a great feeling (or the idea of it at least) The submissive in me gets a kick out of seeing another man with his hands on my woman and the jealousy I feels somehow translates to arousal. The thought of my girlfriend going slightly further with this stranger than she would with me turns me on greatly.


And to bring it back to the original post a bit, I don't like it when there's such extreme humiliation for the husband. Never getting to have sex with her again and her raising someone elses kids kills it for me as there's no longer a sense of sharing or giving up your woman. He simply becomes a voyeur and believability often goes a bit out the window.

 

[Somehowyou]

I'm not a husband so I can't really be a cuckold, but even at a young age, I have a definite fascination with the idea of my girlfriend being with another guy.

I can tell you when it started. I had a rather up and down relationship with my first girlfriend, in which she was often very rude and mean and definitely did dominate the relationship (I'm naturally not a very forward person and it was my first so I wasn't really sure how to deal with it). Anyway, she developed a crush on her teacher, quite a serious one it seemed and would often go on about how much she wanted him and how great he was and how she thought he was giving her signals..
This pissed me off and upset me a lot as I couldn't understand how she could so comfortably just tell me this.

One time when we'd had a fair old falling out I was trying to crack one off while thinking about her, but wasn't really getting anywhere. Suddenly the image of the teacher fucking her, after hours in his office crossed my mind and I felt my cock harden massively. Within seconds of elaborating on this image in my head I'd blown a massive load.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this, so I carried on fantasising about him fucking her behind my back. I even tried to subtley get her to tell me her fantasies about him without looking like I was enjoying the thought. Her crush passed, but later when we were in an on and off phase she was lusting after some other guy and I was at it again.

I'm with another girl now and I love her to bits. She's much nicer this one, but the fantasy has remained. She would never actually think of cheating on me, but she has been happy to humour me and describe fantasy scenarios where she fucks some other guy. I love the idea of seeing my girlfriend, the woman I love from a distance, watching her whole body as it's fucked. Enjoying her facial expressions, the movements of her body and seeing a cock sliding in and out of her without having to worry about pleasing her myself is a great feeling (or the idea of it at least) The submissive in me gets a kick out of seeing another man with his hands on my woman and the jealousy I feels somehow translates to arousal. The thought of my girlfriend going slightly further with this stranger than she would with me turns me on greatly.


And to bring it back to the original post a bit, I don't like it when there's such extreme humiliation for the husband. Never getting to have sex with her again and her raising someone elses kids kills it for me as there's no longer a sense of sharing or giving up your woman. He simply becomes a voyeur and believability often goes a bit out the window.

I think you are normal

BTW - I hear what your saying Firey Jack. As for the extreme humiliation...they got to be kidding. I mean it may be fun to play the game one Saturday night but than I am fucking the hell out of her or shooting Jizz all over her face and head after our little play scenerio is over.

 

[cuckstorylover]

I personally like the cuckold story where an alpha male seduces the wife girlfriend while the husband, who is definitely a beta male, looks on unable to stop it happening.

For me the turn on is in the seduction. That is what gets me excited. him buting in while we are talking ignoring me and seducing her and her being swept off her feet by the power of his manliness.

Having said that I have no particular interest in this actually happening I just like the fantasy.

 

[ivantheterrible]

i want to tie my wife to a chair and force her to watch me dominate another woman.

 

[HardNightDay]

I personally like the cuckold story where an alpha male seduces the wife girlfriend while the husband, who is definitely a beta male, looks on unable to stop it happening.

For me the turn on is in the seduction. That is what gets me excited. him buting in while we are talking ignoring me and seducing her and her being swept off her feet by the power of his manliness.

Having said that I have no particular interest in this actually happening I just like the fantasy.

I agree that is very erotic.

 

[HardNightDay]

Reading the above post just reminded me of a scene from a 90's movie, "Getaway". Not a great movie, but it has a cuckold scene in it that is for the ages...

As best as I can recall, in the movie a crook kidnaps a mild mannered veterinarian who is pretty mild mannered and his new bride. The bride is clearly a naughty girl and possibly sexually frustrated. This leads to speculation on the part of the viewer that hubby has not learned yet how to satisfy his new bride. Early on, the makes it clear to the bad guy that she's noticed him. At some point in the movie the bad guy, the new bride and the mild mannered husband end up in a cheap motel, on the run. The bad guy handcuffs the husband to a chair in the bathroom. The scene opens on the husband sitting in the chair hearing noises from the bedroom. At first the viewer is a concerned that the new bride is being abused. The husband becomes concerned and curious at what is going on. Bound and gagged he hops the chair to where he can peer around the corner, stealing himself for seeing his new bride being taken advantage of. As he looks, he sees instead his new wife on top of the bad guy and riding him for all she's worth.

Although there were aspects of the scene that bothered me it was also intensely erotic! A must see for any guy with the cuckold fantasy.

 

[wifewatch_ohmy]

Delete

 

[sunandshadow]

Here's a question, is it better if the guy being cuckolded dislikes or admires the one doing the cuckolding? I ask because usually I see the former, or an ambiguous envy (dislikes him BECAUSE he admires him) but myself, with the instinct to twist every story to a happy ending, I'd rather see the beta male cuckold become a content follower/sidekick or possibly lover of the alpha male.

 

[cuckstorylover]

Here's a question, is it better if the guy being cuckolded dislikes or admires the one doing the cuckolding? I ask because usually I see the former, or an ambiguous envy (dislikes him BECAUSE he admires him) but myself, with the instinct to twist every story to a happy ending, I'd rather see the beta male cuckold become a content follower/sidekick or possibly lover of the alpha male.

I like the idea that it is someone he dislikes but at the same time admires and knows is the superior male.

For example a guy at work who is an asshole. The women complain about him but you know that given the chance they are going to have him over you. Maybe there is a girl you really like who is very friendly with you and agrees to go with you to the christmas party. Then at the party, just because he wants to he moves in and takes her just because he can. You end up covering their work so they can have extended luch hours fucking.

 

[wifewatch_ohmy]

[Delete

 

[sunandshadow]

Hmm, I guess it just doesn't work with my instincts. As a woman, I can see the appeal of wanting to have children sired by the best available male (or a variety of equally great males, especially exotic ones), but to me by definition the best male must be the most appealing (likeable) one; they can be a bit of a bad boy, but not obnoxious or mean or unethical. And I'm really not interested in who has a bigger dick.

 

[agedmac]

Bad boys and wives

Hmm, I guess it just doesn't work with my instincts. As a woman, I can see the appeal of wanting to have children sired by the best available male (or a variety of equally great males, especially exotic ones), but to me by definition the best male must be the most appealing (likeable) one; they can be a bit of a bad boy, but not obnoxious or mean or unethical. And I'm really not interested in who has a bigger dick.

What was the book about six or seven years ago...women who run with wolves? or something like that.

The implication is that women sometimes are attracted to the bad boy NOT because she wants to tame him, but because she sees something exotic or maybe even a little frightening about the bad boy and his 'taking her' (again the #1 woman fantasy of being some sort of 'kept woman').

So, I do think there is that idea of the 'good husband' being surprised at the wife's attraction to the bad boy.

The humiliation thing is hard to take (for me). I think the stories I've always liked are the ones where 'he' realizes that she is attracted to the bad boy and gets a not so subtle thrill at realizing it. Sure, when you 'get inside his head' he has to be a little frightened of that idea. Will she leave me for the bad boy?

But I also agree that there is this 'thing' about her doing something 'wild' and you (the good husband) realize that there is another side to her you never quite 'got'.

That to me is the thrill to this genre. I've got one story in my three like that, The New Hot Wife

 

[sunandshadow]

What was the book about six or seven years ago...women who run with wolves? or something like that.

The implication is that women sometimes are attracted to the bad boy NOT because she wants to tame him, but because she sees something exotic or maybe even a little frightening about the bad boy and his 'taking her' (again the #1 woman fantasy of being some sort of 'kept woman').

So, I do think there is that idea of the 'good husband' being surprised at the wife's attraction to the bad boy.

The humiliation thing is hard to take (for me). I think the stories I've always liked are the ones where 'he' realizes that she is attracted to the bad boy and gets a not so subtle thrill at realizing it. Sure, when you 'get inside his head' he has to be a little frightened of that idea. Will she leave me for the bad boy?

But I also agree that there is this 'thing' about her doing something 'wild' and you (the good husband) realize that there is another side to her you never quite 'got'.

That to me is the thrill to this genre. I've got one story in my three like that, The New Hot Wife

I could see the humiliation as something he has to get over as he realizes the good aspects of the situation. What really baffles me is when the husband sees the wife has this wild side, a lot of stories specifically say he never gets to taste that for himself, which is exactly the opposite of how I'd want it to end. Or similarly, I could understand if the husband actually found watching the other two together hotter than having sex with the wife himself, but then a lot of stories end with the husband being exiled from the bedroom, not being invited/ordered to stay and watch.

 

[wifewatch_ohmy]

Example

Delete

 

[Somehowyou]

I still find it bizarre that men find the cuckold fantasy exciting. I have been told that jealousy is a self preservation instinct. It drives us to compete with the alpha male. The instinctive combination of arousal and jealousy that we feel when our wives or girl friends stray is part of a human defense mechanism. An instinct that makes us compete. When our partner strays part of her subconscious motivation is to breed the strongest offspring. it is a guttural instinct. Part of man's belly appetite. Of course she has the freewill to say no. Our instinct is to compete. We have a guttural urge to fertilize her eggs.
This is our instinct to pass on our genes. This is where the intense arousal stems from....

Ah maybe this is a bunch of egghead bullshit. Maybe the reason it is so arousing to read about cuckolds is because this is the last taboo.

 

[cuckstorylover]

I genuinely have no notion why cuckolding is such a turn on for me I just know that it is. I have a physical reaction to stories that involve a dominant male moving in on my partner. What is puzzling is why I love to read about it but would hate it to actually happen in reality. That is the $64,000 question to me.

 

[BossySon21a]

I genuinely have no notion why cuckolding is such a turn on for me I just know that it is. I have a physical reaction to stories that involve a dominant male moving in on my partner. What is puzzling is why I love to read about it but would hate it to actually happen in reality. That is the $64,000 question to me.

Nothing unusual about that aspect of it, lots of people who fantasize about all sorts of different things either don't want it to really happen, or would hate it if it ever did.

 

[cygnedautrefois]

Sorry to see this thread end/

This thread seems to have drawn some really intelligent and thoughtful people, cooperating to resolve a paradox that I have been thinking about for years.

I think some of the solutions here are not only well-thought-out but honest, too.

I do hope you will continue your discussion. I promise to add my ideas.

 

[cygnedautrefois]

I could see the humiliation as something he has to get over as he realizes the good aspects of the situation. What really baffles me is when the husband sees the wife has this wild side, a lot of stories specifically say he never gets to taste that for himself, which is exactly the opposite of how I'd want it to end. Or similarly, I could understand if the husband actually found watching the other two together hotter than having sex with the wife himself, but then a lot of stories end with the husband being exiled from the bedroom, not being invited/ordered to stay and watch.

I certainly agree. I ahve seen a very sexy side of my wife emerge, and I c ertainly wouldn't consider being excluded from it. The heat her other partner brings out in her is one the the major pleasures I get out this odd arrangement.

 

[sexymom]

My favorite scenario is that hubby has an affair first. In a fit of guilty conscience he confesses this to his wife and asks for forgiveness. Wife says she will forgive him in time, but he will have to be patient. She thinks about it for a year or so, and finally decides that the only way she can really forgive him in her heart is to balance the scales. She tells him she is going to have an affair herself, and when she does, then she can forgive him- or actually they can forgive each other equally.

Intitally he doesn't like the idea; but the more she thinks about it, the more eager she becomes. He sees her growing excitement and anticipation, and he starts to look forward to her realizing her dream. In time, he actually starts encouraging her and boosting her confidence, but it is a bittersweet experience for him, as he's pulled both ways.

 

[cygnedautrefois]

My favorite scenario is that hubby has an affair first. In a fit of guilty conscience he confesses this to his wife and asks for forgiveness. Wife says she will forgive him in time, but he will have to be patient. She thinks about it for a year or so, and finally decides that the only way she can really forgive him in her heart is to balance the scales. She tells him she is going to have an affair herself, and when she does, then she can forgive him- or actually they can forgive each other equally.

Intitally he doesn't like the idea; but the more she thinks about it, the more eager she becomes. He sees her growing excitement and anticipation, and he starts to look forward to her realizing her dream. In time, he actually starts encouraging her and boosting her confidence, but it is a bittersweet experience for him, as he's pulled both ways.

You are right. It is an edgy situation where desire meets with jealousy and overwhelms it. But there is always, I think, some pain, at least enough to make the pleasure spicey.

I like to think that my wife's pleasure is the major impetus, but I know that there is much more to it than that.

I like your story idea.