How low can you go?

[ElizabethWest]

The first vote on my new poem was a "2". Move over Og, I'm in the running!!

Somebody swept out my troll votes.

Now I've got a "5" rating, but only five votes.

Sorry, Og...

 

[oggbashan]

A truly awe inspiring list, Og.

Condolences.

Rumple Foreskin

They are only 10% of my story output. The majority of my work falls into the category of mediocre.

If I could figure out what made that 10% so bad and do the opposite - I might even win a contest. I have tried writing really badly with The Worst Chain Story Ever. My Chapter 01 required recovery time before people could write their episodes. The sheer awfulness might have been nearly unique except for the matchless DurtGurl consortium.

I think what hurts about some of the ratings is that each time I tried to write a proper story with plot, character development and a twist to the ending. More sex and less plot might help. So might stories less than 5 Lit pages long...

The five current drafts are probably doomed. The first has already exceeded 13,000 words and has a long way to go. The second waits until after 5 A4 pages before starting to hint at the sex. The third is set in mid-Victorian England, includes forced incest, and crinolined ladies worshipping Aphrodite. The fourth is timed to run through The Depression to WWII set in NE England with maimed and disabled characters depressing themselves with mutual angst. The fifth was to have been an Earth Day entry with recycling as a major theme...

I think I'll start draft six.

Og

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

The fourth (draft) is timed to run through The Depression to WWII set in NE England with maimed and disabled characters depressing themselves with mutual angst. The fifth was to have been an Earth Day entry with recycling as a major theme...

I think I'll start draft six.

Og

Maybe it's just me, but number four sounds like a real barn burner. Might not win a Lit contest but stretch it out, stay high-lit and it could give you a leg up on a Booker.

I'm beginning the think story length isn't that important. Best I recall, all three winners in a recent contest were three or more pages long.

Someday we'll get one of those coveted W's by a story of ours. Of course, I'm the same guy who thinks that one day I'll score with Charlize Theron, so what do I know?

http://re2.mm-b.yimg.com/image/1253244317

Rumple Foreskin

 

[oggbashan]

I have no Ws and don't seriously expect to earn one.

I have Ls for Last Place.

What I am very proud of is my solitary E.

Og

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I have no Ws and don't seriously expect to earn one.

I have Ls for Last Place.

What I am very proud of is my solitary E.

Og

My scorecard is free from the taint of a single W, E, L, or Charlize Theron. Think I'll go out and play in traffic.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[ishtat]

Death & Disasters

I'm working at it. My third Earth Day entry, now in progress, is about a funeral and has no sex. I have high (or should it be low?) hopes for that one.

Og

A mere funeral won't cut it .To my surprise recently, I got a red H for a poem about an autopsy.

 

[oggbashan]

A mere funeral won't cut it .To my surprise recently, I got a red H for a poem about an autopsy.

You think not? Earth to Earth is currently rated at 2.32 with the use of the divisor for the Last Place contest. Otherwise it is at 4.33 with NO possibility of getting enough votes to qualify for the main Earth Day contest.

Og

 

[oggbashan]

Maybe it's just me, but number four sounds like a real barn burner. Might not win a Lit contest but stretch it out, stay high-lit and it could give you a leg up on a Booker...

Rumple Foreskin

But then I wouldn't want to read it. 'Nominated for Booker' on any book in my store meant it would stay on the shelf forever.

'Banned by' or 'Church says Utter Filth' on the cover was a sure-fire seller.

Og

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

But then I wouldn't want to read it. 'Nominated for Booker' on any book in my store meant it would stay on the shelf forever.

'Banned by' or 'Church says Utter Filth' on the cover was a sure-fire seller.

Og

Maybe we could work a deal with Manu and Laurel for a "BANNED BY LITEROTICA AS TOO DISGUSTING" tag.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[oggbashan]

Maybe we could work a deal with Manu and Laurel for a "BANNED BY LITEROTICA AS TOO DISGUSTING" tag.

Rumple Foreskin

It might work. A tag saying 'BANNED BY LITEROTICA FOR TOO LITTLE SEX AND GOING ON AND ON AND ON..." might be more accurate for my work.

What constantly amazes me is that some of my stories have been stolen and put on apparently hardcore pay sites called 'japanese teenagers fist-fucked' and 'Anal sluts luv cum'. I think the subscribers are going to be disappointed if they read my work, or perhaps they can't read?

Perhaps the whole Earth Day contest should have a banner 'WRITERS GET DOWN AND DIRTY!"

Og

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

It might work. A tag saying 'BANNED BY LITEROTICA FOR TOO LITTLE SEX AND GOING ON AND ON AND ON..." might be more accurate for my work.

Og

Nothing personal, amigo, but something tells me that would not qualify as PR savvy.

Rumple "three votes shy" Foreskin