how to answer wife

[chatter024]

So my wife and I enjoy sharing our fantasies with each other, Shes finally admitted that on occasion shell think about other women but "she doesnt let herself go there"

I would love for her to explore that fantasy but she asked whats the point? we arent going to have a threesome or anything.

is there a point to exploring it? what do i tell her?

 

[LaRocha]

So my wife and I enjoy sharing our fantasies with each other, Shes finally admitted that on occasion shell think about other women but "she doesnt let herself go there"

I would love for her to explore that fantasy but she asked whats the point? we arent going to have a threesome or anything.

is there a point to exploring it? what do i tell her?

Exploring fantasies is easy, it's just talking dirty. Maybe your wife just wants to talk dirty about her and other girls. You probably want another actual vagina up in there, but that probably won't happen unless she says, "No more games, time for another vagina." Most girls if pressed will tell you they're into other girls because it turns dudes on. Not that every woman is a little bi at all, they'll all just say they're a little bi to give you a boner.

 

[PublicAffection]

So my wife and I enjoy sharing our fantasies with each other, Shes finally admitted that on occasion shell think about other women but "she doesnt let herself go there"

I would love for her to explore that fantasy but she asked whats the point? we arent going to have a threesome or anything.

is there a point to exploring it? what do i tell her?

As a girl who likes other girls, and a married woman, I can see where your wife is coming from. She may feel that there isn't a point to exploring that fantasy further because while the thought of it turns her on, the only person she wants to BE WITH is you... which is why she married you.

If it's something she's comfortable talking about or exploring further, she will let you know. Whatever you do, don't pressure her or "take over" her fantasy. Men have a tendency to hear "bi" and get ready to run out tomorrow to find another woman and bring her home to participate/watch their wives with. Women (exceptions definitely abound) aren't into instant gratification - we like long, progressive, sensual play. She may just be letting in on this secret now, but perhaps it's been her internal teaser for a long while.

 

[Reba67]

Just because she thinks about other women doesn't mean she wants to do any more than just think about other women. I occasionally have erotic dreams involving women, but I have zero desire to do it in reality. I have other erotic dreams that involve men and even though I'm into men, there are just a lot of scenarios that can stay in my dreams......I don't want to act them out.

 

[kara24]

Just because the thought of something turns you on doesn't necessarily mean you have to do it in RL. Often just talking about it is enough. Only IF she says to you that she has thought about it so much she really needs to try it is is likely to happen.

 

[Fallen_Angel_Eyes]

As a girl who likes other girls, and a married woman, I can see where your wife is coming from. She may feel that there isn't a point to exploring that fantasy further because while the thought of it turns her on, the only person she wants to BE WITH is you... which is why she married you.

If it's something she's comfortable talking about or exploring further, she will let you know. Whatever you do, don't pressure her or "take over" her fantasy. Men have a tendency to hear "bi" and get ready to run out tomorrow to find another woman and bring her home to participate/watch their wives with. Women (exceptions definitely abound) aren't into instant gratification - we like long, progressive, sensual play. She may just be letting in on this secret now, but perhaps it's been her internal teaser for a long while.

Indeed, if she only wants to BE WITH you, but has thoughts about other women, then yes, the best thing is DEFINITELY to let her set her own pace.

If she just want to have thoughts, and never act on them, then don't push her towards it. Maybe you could start off by encouraging her to read/watch some erotica on the subject? Perhaps it could lead to you using it together as a sort of prelude?

 

[hidden_self]

I have some real-life experience with this. Two things jump out at me:

1. Whether or not *you* want her to fantasize about this is immaterial. Her fantasies, her choice. (But I think you already know that.)

2. At the same time, when she says "I don't let myself go there" she makes it sound like she *wants* to think about it but is afraid to. So, without trying to force the issue, I think it's legitimate to ask... why not? Why not go there? Even if she doesn't answer you right away, it may plant a seed for thought.

Because, quite apart from the fact that you find the idea hot, I'm sure that you (as a loving husband and a giving lover) want her to enjoy the full possible measure of sexual freedom. To feel comfortable with all aspects of her sexuality. To feel free to explore ideas without fear of pressure to act on them, or without feeling ashamed of being curious.

Obviously, there's a duality here. You need to not belabor the point. But, I think it's worth bringing up just to briefly convey the message, "Hey, if you want to fantasize about that, please don't be afraid I will pressure you to make it happen. I adore you and am not trying to figure out ways to get into another vagina. Promise."

I think you can also start a discussion on a related yet clearly different topic-- MMF threesomes. Does she find the idea intriguing / exciting? What would she want to happen? Perhaps that would be a way of beginning to *fantasize* (emphasis on fantasy) about threesomes that would be less stressful. It would give you an opportunity to show openness to at least thinking about such things.

And, if the idea of an MMF scares you (even as a fantasy), then you can use that to help you understand why your wife might be scared of an FFM (even as a fantasy.)