How to. . . Cheat. Yes, Cheat.

[Inna]

If you wish to cheat you must be willing to lie. That means you can't really care for the woman you're with or any of the women you're going to cheat with.

If you care for your pleasure and your pleasure alone you have a good start.

You're going to need a lot of women and if that's cool with you, you'll probably drive the woman you started with to discover that you're a cold heartless shell of a man and she'll cheat on you too.

That's really the main trick to cheating. Not caring about who it hurts, including yourself.

Go.

I could not disagree more. Recidiva I usually agree with most everything you say but have to disagree here. I found myself in this predicament before and cared for all people involved. Sometimes life brings us to situations that don't have clear and cut answers.

 

[Recidiva]

I could not disagree more. Recidiva I usually agree with most everything you say but have to disagree here. I found myself in this predicament before and cared for all people involved. Sometimes life brings us to situations that don't have clear and cut answers.

No, there aren't answers, but you don't have to have the answers either.

I never went out to deliberately cheat. I fell into it once when I didn't know where to draw a line and then I learned where to draw lines. But even then I walked straight up to the person I owed an explanation to and explained it. The point isn't that you don't make mistakes, the point is that you don't deliberately go to make them out of negligence or malice or cruelty.

 

[Inna]

No, there aren't answers, but you don't have to have the answers either.

I never went out to deliberately cheat. I fell into it once when I didn't know where to draw a line and then I learned where to draw lines. But even then I walked straight up to the person I owed an explanation to and explained it. The point isn't that you don't make mistakes, the point is that you don't deliberately go to make them out of negligence or malice or cruelty.

In my situation it had nothing to do with negligence or malice or cruelty. I don't know about you but I definitely have made a few mistakes in my life and gratefully have learned from them. Sometimes self-esteem or lack of it, desires and needs all can contribute to actions that can't be fully explained. It doesn’t make it right or defendable it just is.

My apolgies for making this thread just what you didn't want, I guess we needed to discuss it.

 

[Recidiva]

In my situation it had nothing to do with negligence or malice or cruelty. I don't know about you but I definitely have made a few mistakes in my life and gratefully have learned from them. Sometimes self-esteem or lack of it, desires and needs all can contribute to actions that can't be fully explained. It doesn’t make it right or defendable it just is.

My apolgies for making this thread just what you didn't want, I guess we needed to discuss it.

I have told my husband that if he leaves me I'm getting a harem

 

[cjbj]

easy

tell your s.o. whats up, they may feel the same way?? saw that on a Woody Allen movie tonight.

 

[fsumusic1981]

goodness oh me oh my

sigh.

almost 30 posts and only 1 direct reply to my question. From a Gator Fan, no less.

(Can you see why I made a plea to stay on topic)

Another poster said Barnaby hit the nail on the head, but that's just one guy's opinion.

Does nobody else out there have anything to contribute to this thread? I know some of you have cheated.

Ho hum

 

[KarenDee]

sigh.

almost 30 posts and only 1 direct reply to my question.

OK, I'll help you out.

1. Develop a total distaste for your wife / S.O. and any children that might be involved. This is a necessary first step, otherwise it's hard to think up a good reason to start in the first place.

2. Collect an abundance of alibis and spend time practicing them. You'll need to have them come across as really genuine. Reciting them to yourself while driving alone in the car is good. They have to be believable ones. Telling her you're going bowling or golfing when you've never done that before is no good. And don't use the "gotta work late" scam...sooner or later she'll check up on you.

3. Don't put any phone numbers on your cell phone, or email addresses on your computer. All contact must be clandestine and non-traceable. Leave no tracks.

4. Don't forget the essentials and the details that are involved with them. Suddenly you might need to start buying a large supply of condoms. Where will you hide them? And where to buy them? Stick to an out-of-town store so your normal day to day profile does not change. Someone your wife knows is bound to see you at the Wal-Mart pharmacy and start wondering.

5. Be prepared to buy gifts. And where will you buy them? See #4 above. Pay cash for things, credit cards leave a paper trail.

7. Women leave tracks, just like animals. Are you prepared to scour every single square inch of your clothing each night BEFORE you come home? We can spot a foreign hair from 20 paces.

8. Don't forget the scent. She just spent the past 3 hours banging you and you think we can't smell that? It's not obvious to you because your nose is accustomed to it, but it smells like a stink bomb the moment you come in the door. And don't think you can hide it with deoderant or body wash. We can smell that too, and if it's noticeable at a time when it usually wasn't, we get really good at math.

9. Contact a good lawyer in advance, you might end up needing it. The woman gets most of the monetary benefits in a split, especially with kids involved. Know this ahead of time so that you don't come across as a pisser and a moaner when the judge bangs the gavel.

10. Lastly, contact my ex-husband for the items I've forgotten. He was a pro.

 

[Quoll]

Hmm you are right there isn't much info at all on this topic, in fact out of the first 100 responses on google only one was what you are looking for, apparently some one wrote a book on this very subject.
Makes you wonder doesn't it.
There are however many many responses on how to spot an adulterer.
Things that make you go hmm.

Try this thread Cheating

 

[Xenolan]

I have considered cheating on my wife with prostitutes (it's the main subject of the stories I've written). So far, I have not actually done it, but I have not ruled it out either.

The main reason I would cheat on a woman I claim to love deeply is because she doesn't put out. She has some good reasons, among them medications that all-but kill her sex drive. But be that as it may, after years of trying everything I can to try to get her interested, I've essentially given up.

But I'm still horny, dammit.

It's a basic human need that I wish to fill, and Lefty just don't cut it after a while. If my wife will not give me sex, even though I try to give her what she claims to want and encourage her in ways that she says would be effective, then I feel justified.

Or rather, I almost do... there's a part of me that still won't be convinced that I can pretend this is all right. I put aside cash intended to finance covert sexcapades, and then spend it on frivolous things before I can save enough. I search through adult ad sheets to find places to go for "massage", drive by them to make sure I know where they are, but never go in. On two occasions this year she has been out of town and I have been in an excellent position to make the move... but I have not. So far, I lack the balls - or the deceit - to go through with it.


However, if and when I do cheat, it will be for the physical side only. I have no wish or need to enter another intimate emotional relationship. I will indulge with professionals who will be paid in cash, and the "relationship" terminates completely at the moment I say it does with no hurt feelings or desires for revenge. I will not pick up someone at the office or place a personal ad. I will not indulge with a friend's wife who has a similar problem to mine. I will go to an escort, pay my fee, and have purely lust-driven sex without love or affection.

Would I want my wife to do the same thing? No, but if I weren't even trying to satisfy her needs myself, I couldn't blame her for it. I would be angry if she did such a thing now because I am available to her and she rejects me.

Anyway, this is something that can drive a loving husband to cheat: when he simply isn't getting any at home. I am hopelessly in love with my wife, and I may be flattering myself, but I feel that if I can be driven to cheat than anyone can.

Frigid wives, take notice. A man can only live celibate for so long.

 

[Cathleen]

A few things have come to mind for me.

1. I'm glad the conversation got off food - I was getting hungry for a #4 or maybe a #1 for breakfast.

2. I don't have any tips about how to cheat. An educated opinion is to be secretive and careful. (I didn't say what level of education.)

3. Why do you believe that the Literotica How To Board will have information about cheating? Just because it is an adult site and sexual issues are discussed openly and freely does not mean there is an environment of behaviors outside the societal norm. I suppose from the responses your hypothesis isn't correct. But you did get some tips. Now I'd like to find a bulletin board about banks and ask for tips about robbing them.

 

[australwind]

How to cheat..and not get caught..well first decide if you are actually cheating on your partner or yourself..


I managed to have an extra martial affair and not get caught..but then it was a symptom of a failed marriage that hadn't actually managed to move to the point of being separated.


As the other party was a work collegue I had legitimate reasons to be seen in his company..spend time with him and be contacted by him outside of working hours...nothing really to hide except we were shagging each other stupid when we got the chance.

It wasn't hard to do...my ex wasn't interested in preserving our marriage and certainly wasn't interested in me and hadn't been for sometime.

Rights or wrongs aside....it was something that happened and no deliberate deceptions were entertained.....it was something that filled a particular need at the time, was something I will never regret and finished when he moved onto another adulterous relationship.

 

[Bandit58]

This is how the married man I had a relationship with managed things.

1) He worked from home while his wife worked in the nearby city. She caught the train at 7am and he had all day until 5.30pm when he picked her up from the station. When he wasn't going to classes or out to fix/pick up a computer that is.

2) He was not able to call me on the phone, his wife checked his phone bill. So I did all the ringing/calling. We chatted on ICQ weekdays but after 5.30pm and weekends we had no contact. He also never turned his cell phone off in case she rang to check up on him. If she did call, he was a good liar.

3) I travelled to visit him (a 4 hour journey by car). I would stay in a motel for a few days and he'd visit me during the day. If we went out together he was careful not to run into anyone he knew. If he did I was to pretend I didn't know him.

4) He kept promising me that "one day" we'd be together. "One day" never happened. When things in my life got too stressful for him he abandoned ship. He had another woman waiting in the wings, a local one. I was upset, and then I was angry, both with him and myself for being a naive fool.

 

[TBKahuna123]

sigh.

almost 30 posts and only 1 direct reply to my question. From a Gator Fan, no less.

Maybe that's because you're an idiot. Cheating without geting caught is easy, all you have to do is be a devious conving asshole. That's it!

Anyway, this is something that can drive a loving husband to cheat: when he simply isn't getting any at home. I am hopelessly in love with my wife, and I may be flattering myself, but I feel that if I can be driven to cheat than anyone can.

I'm glad I read you full post before I commented, because it was gonna be a doosey!

This is one of those situations where I can understand the desire to cheat. I've been there kinda, my wife and I were basically celebate for almost a year due to medical conditions which made it painful for her. She was willing to endure it, I was unwilling to inflict it. Even though we ahd that agreement, it put a HUGE strain on our marriage. During this same time I was approached by a coworker, a very hot coworker I might add, and I have to admit it was a tempting offer. I decided against it because I loved my wife.

What you have to decide is what is more important to you, your sex drive our you relationship with your wife. That is seriously what you ahve to decide, because if your lack of a sex life is enough to drive you to cheat, then it's going to affect other parts of your relatioship too. If you can't deal with that, it might be better to just be upfront and agree that it's not going to work out.

Eventually you're going to get caught, almost everyone does. Sooner or later serial cheaters slip. Then the consequences will be even worse and you'll probably end up divorced anyway.

The option is to simple discuss it with your wife. Maybe the idea of you going to a prostitue to blow off some steam would be acceptable to her, provided you do so safely. Better that than banging her best friend while she's out shopping.

Unless of course it's not jsut about blowing off steam, but a desire to have the excitement of cheating on your wife. In that case, I'll be forced to lump you into the devious asshole category, instead of the legitimately frustrated husband category.

SIGH. So much for holding my tongue.

 

[Eilan]

Why do you believe that the Literotica How To Board will have information about cheating? Just because it is an adult site and sexual issues are discussed openly and freely does not mean there is an environment of behaviors outside the societal norm.

No, Cate. You obviously missed the memo saying that Lit is a 554,093 (as of this post) member orgy, and anything goes. If you didn't join Lit to participate in the fuckfest, then why are you here?

 

[midwestyankee]

No, Cate. You obviously missed the memo saying that Lit is a 554,093 (as of this post) member orgy, and anything goes. If you didn't join Lit to participate in the fuckfest, then why are you here?

So my invitation to said fuck-fest got lost in the mail?

 

[SweetErika]

Now I'd like to find a bulletin board about banks and ask for tips about robbing them.

I had the same thought, Cate. I'm just not so keen on aiding someone in hurting another. Some may think there's no harm done if the spouse doesn't find out about the cheating, but I believe that's incorrect. By having intimate contact both inside AND outside the relationship, you're putting your spouse's health at risk. I think the spouse has the right to make their own choice about whether or not they want to risk it, so hiding the cheating is wrong. I'd be upset if a partner broke our agreement in cheating, but I'd probably forgive. However, I wouldn't forgive if he failed to tell me prior to having sexual contact with me again because I don't care to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect or want to keep me safe. Similarly, I'd be unlikely to forgive a partner for driving me or our kid home while intoxicated, or keeping a loaded gun within easy reach of our child.

So, I'd also decline to give advice if you asked me for info on pulling off a robbery, minimizing your chances of getting caught after a rape, how to effectively abuse your wife or children, or how to scam your family out of money. I think people who hurt others SHOULD get caught as soon as possible to minimize further harm.

I want it to be a discussion of how to successfully cheat. Morality & Ethics aside, this is something people do look for information on, and I'd think Literotica would be a place that it would be easily found, and the how to board was the appropriate place.

For me, FSU, it's impossible to separate morals and ethics from the act on this one since I believe successful hiding is very harmful in most cases.

I just want this to be a discussion on how to cheat successfully. I know that sounds abhorrent to many people, but so do some of the other things openly discussed in these forums.

The things that are abhorrent to most of us are those that are nonconsensual and harm others. Scat and bloodplay are examples of things I find rather sickening, but as long as they're done in a safe and consensual manner, great, no problem, have a blast, and I'm even happy to help you find info and provide safety tips.

If there's anything I can do to make this thread survive I am willing to do that. I just want the information to get out there.

I'm curious... are you looking for yourself? Or, why does the information need to be out there? Isn't this really more of a do-it-yourself, trial and error type thing?

 

[Bandit58]

To the ones who say they aren't getting any at home - are you still intimate with your partners? By that I mean do you still talk, cuddle, touch? Even if there can't be intercourse because of medical problems there are many many ways to pleasure each other.

Gil sometimes cannot hold an erection. We do other things. Oral and gspot play are a big part of it. In my marriage there was no touching unless he wanted sex. I felt taken for granted and unappreciated. Over time I switched off all my sexual feelings towards him. He didn't seem to realise that I couldn't get in the mood with just a bit of groping and then stick it in

I went looking online (subconsciously really, I had no idea what I was looking for), but I found a really nice guy to chat to, who made me feel great about myself and if we could have met in real life I would have had sex with him, but was not to be. Even after I left my husband I never met him and it fizzled out eventually but he was giving me what my husband wasn't. A friendly ear, lots of joking around, and cyber like you wouldn't believe. It was the first time I'd ever done anything like that and I did get caught up in it. But the main thing he did was make me realise that there was more to life and sex than anything I'd had before.

Intimacy is a huge part of any relationship. I'm loved now and it's shown every day no matter what. We cuddle, touch, play together. Sex is a big part of our lives but at times we have to do without it. The intimacy however is always there

 

[Eilan]

To the ones who say they aren't getting any at home - are you still intimate with your partners? By that I mean do you still talk, cuddle, touch? Even if there can't be intercourse because of medical problems there are many many ways to pleasure each other.

Some people think that intimacy=sex. Sex is a type of intimacy, but it's not a substitute for an emotional connection, IMO.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

So long post, and you know what is coming...

<-----

 

[Xenolan]

What you have to decide is what is more important to you, your sex drive our you relationship with your wife.

Well, that's what's been stopping me and probably always will. It's not a rosy prospect, though, because I begin to resent her for it. That's not entirely fair to her, but the emotion exists and I would be a hypocrite not to acknowledge it.

The option is to simple discuss it with your wife. Maybe the idea of you going to a prostitue to blow off some steam would be acceptable to her...

Not a chance. We've had hypothetical discussions about what constitutes "cheating" and she would definitely be opposed to the idea.

Unless of course it's not just about blowing off steam, but a desire to have the excitement of cheating on your wife. In that case, I'll be forced to lump you into the devious asshole category, instead of the legitimately frustrated husband category.

The idea of cheating in and of itself has no particular appeal to me, but I can't pretend that the concept of sex-for-hire has none. I'm excited about the idea of being able to pay a woman to do whatever I want (and my desires are pretty tame, so I really could get whatever I want). If I went to a pro, I would certainly want to indulge in some fantasies that I would never expect of my wife even if she were a tiger in the bedroom - for instance, an FFM three-way. In fact, I would be happier about shopping for sex if I were single, because there would be no guilt factor to mess it up.

I'm thinking of going in for marriage counseling, but we don't have any money so it'll have to wait. However, that's a topic for another thread - I feel I've hijacked this one sufficiently. So, I'll return to topic -

Like I said before, I've never done it, but if I were to cheat I would follow four simple rules:

(1) Use professional escorts. (Don't open yourself to blackmail)
(2) Use PROTECTION. (Goes without saying)
(3) Leave NO evidence. (Use your head and cover your tracks)
(4) Know when to quit. (It's easy to quit AFTER being caught, but it's a hell of a lot smarter to quit BEFORE)

 

[ickle_stace]

So you repsect the ladies you're cheating with, but you can't respect the ladies you were in a relationship with enough to not cheat on them!

i know the person who began this thread didn't want these opinions, but this is a free speech forum and i felt the need to say what i think

as someone else said before, if u wanna fuck around, don't get into a relationship, let the person you're with find someone who actaully respects them and wants to care for them and be faithful!

Interesting thread, FSU. Here my $.02:

Background: I've been with two women outside of my past relationships. And I was not caught.

I chalk this up to

(1) Being honest with the women that I was in a relationship. I think that if you lie to a woman you are seeing in an extra-marital way you are asking to get caught.

(2) Not taking chances. I never did anything "risky" like try to sneak out and get laid while my partner was asleep. I always played in safe and planned my encounters well.

(3) Never did a thing at my house. I never slept with, kissed, or even talked to another girl at my house. This would be asking to get caught. Too easy to leave evidnece laying around. Neutral territory (or their place- even better) is the way to go.

(4) Respect. I always respected the ladies I slept with, was never rude to them, and all that jazz.

(5) Chose them carefully. I never just picked out some random woman to try to bed. I always found a girl I actually liked, and who I could enjoy being with.

That's all.

And my $.02 about what ed said in the post above. It goes against my better judgment to agree with FSU (he is, after all a Noles fan, obviously, and I attend UF and am a Gators fan. For those of you unfamilar with the rivalry, it is one hell of a rivalry).

Ed's right that everybody has free speech, but FSU is right about people not wanting to post about certain topics because of how much ridicule they get.

But I get the impression FSU was just asking people not to turn this thread into a discussion on whether or not cheating is right/wrong. I don't see how this is really stifiling free speech. It seems like more of a plea not to commandeer this thread and turn it into a discussion of morality.

jeez I wrote alot.

Hope it helps, FSU. Just understand that some Seminoles are gonna get eaten alive at this years game! If you dare come to the Swamp to watch, be prepared to enjoy that I-75/I-10 "Trail of Tears" back to Tallahassee.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well Xenoloan, you pretty much confirmed my first impression of you, and I totally get your situation. Basically you're being driven to cheat by lack of sex. While I still don't think this is a good reason to cheat, I totally get it and I can accept that a lot easier than someone who cheats just for the thrill.

If it were me, I'd have to make the decision if I could live with the lack of sex life and if the rest fo my relationship was worth living wihtout a sex life. I personally couldn't cheat on my wife just to blow off steam, but that's just me. I don't envy you your situation, but I do sympathize and understand it.

 

[AppleBiter]

If there's anything I can do to make this thread survive I am willing to do that. I just want the information to get out there.

*Wonders if mrpenis (very FITTING name, BTW) and ALL41 are FSU's sock puppets(aka alts) Hmmm. They both appear to have just randomly started their postings here . . . coincidence?*

 

[Recidiva]

A really good liar has been lying since they were born. They're good at it. Most liars are born liars and learned to tell just enough truth convincingly to get away with it at exactly the right time so they won't get caught. They also know how to set up alibis and scapegoats and excuses.

I'm a very good liar. When I lie, nobody catches me. I disclose I'm a very good liar. Nobody believes me. I have to tell them I lie. Lying has to be seamless, it has to flow like water responding to gravity.

If you made it to adulthood reasonably honest and having to ask how to lie, you're a bad liar.

You're screwed.

If you don't want to make a complete wreck of your life you'd have to start over and rebuild it brick by brick as a lie then you wouldn't be changing patterns.

What people are describing about concealment are about adjustment of patterns. But if you're not good at changing completely subtle patterns including your own sense of guilt, facial tells and even the way you think, you are screwed.

Just ask any good poker player. It's not what you do, it's how you think.

The trick to being a liar is being seamless.

You're going to have seams, lots of them. If you're blessed in this case with a spouse who doesn't give a damn, what she may get is just one of those "what the hell" itches in the back of her skull that people get that makes her hire someone to follow you around and answer those questions for her, or get a "Check Mate", which is a DNA analyzer for your clothes.

There's no way to cheat now that can't be counteracted, and there are parts of intuition and perception in human nature when people are lied to that can't be predicted, and people come to conclusions even when there isn't physical evidence. People just know sometimes. I do. That's part of what makes me a very good liar and very good at catching liars.

So it's all a gamble. Will your spouse not be observant, won't care, not be perceptive, won't feel neglected? Will you be out of town when someone ends up in the emergency room and will there be a tragedy when you can't be reached?

Liars that have gotten away with it for lifetimes have known how to choose a "mark" as a spouse who won't ask questions. They also probably have leverage on them somehow so they won't ask questions.

How well have you planned ahead?

Someone else who has lied since birth will be happy to forget to disclose certain things.

 

[FurryFury]

Good points Recidiva!

I too can be a good liar. I just don't choose to use it most of the time. I've been given "permission" to cheat and I want to but I don't want to have to be forgiven or to hurt him, so I don't.

If I did though, he'd never know it. That is just a courtesy thing and I would do so using all safety practices available. I wouldn't want to know unless I were included. I would rather remain blissfully unaware. He is also a very good liar. I'd have enough of my own emotions to deal with and not want to deal with his. Were I to be selfish enough to reach for some of the things I want but can't really have with him, I would be selfish enough to make that a quiet space just for me.

The people I know that cheat tend to be caught. They tend to be caught because they are lazy little jerks. They fuck the closest most available thing around. They fuck in their own beds and houses or at work where getting caught is practically guaranteed. They don't make certain all receipts are disposed of and they don't tend to use cash. They don't make sure they get the smells and other tell tell signs off of themselves, clothing, car and other areas.

They don't make sure to keep up THE SAME LEVEL of sex they always have with their real partners. They don't make sure to walk out the door each day looking the same way they did before they started fucking someone else. See it takes work to do it so you don't get caught.

They tend to be arrogant and when caught, tend to blame the other person.

These are all reasons why they get caught. They are amateurs at lying. They don't think like someone who wants to keep secrets they think like a hormone on feet. The only reason why people like this sometimes don't get caught is because the way they act, their life partners don't want to know and may even be relieved to have them off elsewhere.

You can cheat and not get caught. You have to actually put some effort into it and use your brain. On yeah and if the fuckee has your phone number and address, trust me you have messed it up!

Fury