How to get a woman to reply to a PM

[Lord Pmann]

Trying to post a reply to the flower peonie man...... so sweet ! x

That one simple PM put me in contact with the best friend I've ever had in my life. I never suspected it when I sent it, but I thank god every day that I did.

 

[do_ronron]

Yelling in a bar

I agree with Rainshine. I will rarely respond to a guy who isn't atleast posting on the boards and had some interaction with me. Guys who pm and don't post on the boards always make me feel a bit uneasy, like they're shady or have something to hide. It doesn't need to be tons of posts but atleast some kind of interaction on the threads. And yes I always read profiles and look at previous posts and that will also have a bearing on whether I respond.

This utterly breaks my heart. I get the uneasiness but what about in reverse? It's like the paradigm of the real world. Are you saying that you wouldn't have anything to do with a guy if he came up to you to have a 1 on 1 conversation?

I'm the type of guy who doesn't always want to speak in a crowd online. I'm not part of Facebook cause I can't stand the idea of blasting out a thought to a group of people. I'm more the "tell my story 1 on 1," guy. I don't mind telling it over and over cause I tell it differently to each person based on what I want them to know. I should say this is how I am online. In person, I'm the life of a party and talk a lot. Honestly I'm a lot like you. I look at people's profiles and read their post to look for people with personalities or traits I like, then I message them. But like you are saying, I'm hardly successful.

 

[do_ronron]

Yelling in a bar

My other reason. I can't figure out these darn posting buttons. LOL!

 

[sereneone4u]

That one simple PM put me in contact with the best friend I've ever had in my life. I never suspected it when I sent it, but I thank god every day that I did.

My Lover sent me a PM while having no contact on the boards and he had very little postings. He was very new to the boards too. There was just something about him that drew me in and I have been very happy with him. He was leaving Lit and he decided to PM me and I am so thankful he did. These last weeks have just been so incredible. I love him.

 

[Primalex]

Keep in mind, this is just me and my guidelines. I would like to have other ladies post to say what they like to see in a PM. All in all, most guys here are pretty decent. Good luck fellas!

Sorry, but it's a waste of time to follow your guidelines. Even if you get a response as a guy, the reply will be a 4 second one-liner in 99% of the cases. And there is no correlation between effort and success. Hell, I would be happy if I would get a 2 second "no, thx" for a PM I've spent 30 minutes on. But even this does not happen.

I'm in the comfortable position that women actually send me PMs. The following pickup attempts are complete, I did not remove any content (except signature):

"just thought i'd say hello"

"I can be your girlfriend lol"

"... Stalking commencing ..."

That's the communication capability of the average female Lit visitor. And you want us to sit down and waste our time? No, thanks

 

[luvnmyboys]

I'm another fan of humor. If a pm makes me laugh, I am much more interested. I also like to know a person's intentions right off the bat so no one is wasting their time. It's taken me a long time to really figure out why I came here and what I wanted.

 

[RawHumor]

I'm another fan of Humor. <snip>

I have fans?

Sweet!

 

[luvnmyboys]

I have fans?

Sweet!

There's humor right in your avatar so I guess so.

 

[tencarwreck]

So much great advice in this. Another thing as well, its better to give them a reason to come to you. Friendly chat is always a plus instead of going straight into some retarded rant talking about what you would like to be doing to them now.

I dont know a single woman that doesnt like at least a little intrigue and mystery, leaving them curious about whats next.

Great post!

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I don't PM, generally speaking, but women do come to the door, or I encounter them out in the world. Again, out in the world I don't initiate contact first, but if she starts a conversation in the check-out line or needs a guy to unload her cart I feel her out to get a sense of where her head is before I drag her back to the cave.

 

[erigeron]

.....

 

[hunnyblonde]

i figure people either click or they don't. someone who needs to compose or memorize a pamphlet in order to win the opportunity to have a first conversation with someone is not in for a fun or fulfilling ride, as far as i'm concerned.

i'm always perplexed that on one hand people go on about how liberated and egalitarian we are, while most of what i read on social networking sites shouts arcane, ritual courtship.

are we human beings, or matrices looking for our inverse...or some other poorly chosen metaphor?

since people are less filtered online, i guess that makes face-to-face the place where people express the things they wish they actually felt. deep down things seem to persist on the gut level of princesses and knights.

the knowledge that people are scrutinizing one another with this level of detail stresses me out something fierce. does anyone stop to think of how it would feel for someone else to rake through all of one's own nits with such a fine-toothed comb?

i will take my singleness over checklists any day...and wait as patiently as i can for a thoroughly relaxed woman who doesn't need for so many criteria to be meet right out of the gate.

You vote for the 3rd party candidate sometimes, don't ya? C'mon, just admit it.

Yes we all want to see the ideal realized, but idealism is just that... idealistic. There is not usually much overlap between idealistic wishes and realistic outcomes. Sometimes, but not often. So shoot for the sometimes if you want and the little politician in your pants will only get into office 2% of the time. But hey, if you feel like the other 98% of opportunities are selling out, then you're prolly better off waiting for the 2% anyhow.

Oh also...I wanted to add that I follow my own suggestions loosely when sending a first-time PM to a guy. I don't have a double standard, I just have a standard that demands information to be forthcoming sooner rather than later. I don't dig rapid-fire Q&A with someone I don't yet know. Once I get to know you, I enjoy a good game of "Questions" (my affectionate name for the game) as much as the next person, but I need something to start with. That's all I'm sayin'.

 

[jeanne_d_artois]

Read the profile first.

Try to make sure that the woman you are sending a PM to is actually a woman.

I'm not.

That doesn't stop me from getting random PMs from men. But they haven't done their basic research.

The following applies to men sending PMs to women, and women sending PMs to men:

What do I say about myself? How do I post on the boards, if I do? What stories have I written, if any? Even the most basic check on jeanne_d_artois would show that I'm an alt of oggbashan who is an ancient male.

Whether you get a response can depend on what the recipient of the PM can find out about you, from your PM, your posting history and any stories.

If she is a Democrat and you are to the right of the Tea Party, why should she want to respond to your PM?

The more you know about the person you are sending a PM to, and the more they can see about you, the better the decision would be about whether your PM will be answered.

 

[freckledvixen]

Stop with the unsolicited dick pics- I will not (and most women will not) answer those!

Also, don't just tell me about your dick. Like...no. Eventually I may want to know more, but please.

 

[hunnyblonde]

Stop with the unsolicited dick pics- I will not (and most women will not) answer those!

Also, don't just tell me about your dick. Like...no. Eventually I may want to know more, but please.

Huh. I keep hearing about all of these dick pics, but they never come to me. Not sayin' I want 'em, mind you. But still. Should I feel insulted?? LOL

 

[oggbashan]

Huh. I keep hearing about all of these dick pics, but they never come to me. Not sayin' I want 'em, mind you. But still. Should I feel insulted?? LOL

Dick pics tend to be sent to those with attractive avatars, like jeanne_d_artois above (who is also me ).

Choose your avatar carefully and you might get dick pics.

 

[hunnyblonde]

Dick pics tend to be sent to those with attractive avatars, like jeanne_d_artois above (who is also me ).

Choose your avatar carefully and you might get dick pics.

I've had a sexy pic up for quite a while actually. Over a year. I just took it down recently. I've been in mourning, I suppose. But no more. So lemme go put it back up and you give me your opinion on whether or not it's sexy enough.

 

[gagginforit]

What about a guy's profile, what do you like in that? I'm making one for a dating site and don't know if I should keep it simple or go into some detail. And I'm kind of a geek and would like to meet someone with similar interests, should I mention that or would it put some people off?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

What about a guy's profile, what do you like in that? I'm making one for a dating site and don't know if I should keep it simple or go into some detail. And I'm kind of a geek and would like to meet someone with similar interests, should I mention that or would it put some people off?

Different women like different bait.

What seems to work the best is sense of humor. Next is, let them know you don't take yourself too seriously, I REALLY AM ALL THAT, BUT NOT ALL THAT AND MORE. Or this: MY MOM SAID I CAUSED HER MORE HEADACHES THAN ALL HER KIDS COMBINED, BUT SHE ADDED THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OF THE KIDS SHE COULD TRUST. Or, I GOT NO CRIMINAL HISTORY BUT I DEFINITELY WANNA STEAL SOMEONE'S HEART AND MAYBE A FEW KISSES. I DONT LIVE WITH MOM!

Be honest, be sweet, youre not selling them manure, youre letting the manure sell itself.

 

[oggbashan]

I've had a sexy pic up for quite a while actually. Over a year. I just took it down recently. I've been in mourning, I suppose. But no more. So lemme go put it back up and you give me your opinion on whether or not it's sexy enough.

Your current AV looks far too young to attract me.

But I wouldn't send a dick pic to anyone. I'm far too old, and too much of a gentleman.

 

[gagginforit]

Different women like different bait.

What seems to work the best is sense of humor. Next is, let them know you don't take yourself too seriously, I REALLY AM ALL THAT, BUT NOT ALL THAT AND MORE. Or this: MY MOM SAID I CAUSED HER MORE HEADACHES THAN ALL HER KIDS COMBINED, BUT SHE ADDED THAT I WAS THE ONLY ONE OF THE KIDS SHE COULD TRUST. Or, I GOT NO CRIMINAL HISTORY BUT I DEFINITELY WANNA STEAL SOMEONE'S HEART AND MAYBE A FEW KISSES. I DONT LIVE WITH MOM!

Be honest, be sweet, youre not selling them manure, youre letting the manure sell itself.

Cheers matey.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Huh. I keep hearing about all of these dick pics, but they never come to me. Not sayin' I want 'em, mind you. But still. Should I feel insulted?? LOL

Here you go.

 

[eric60red]

Huh. I keep hearing about all of these dick pics, but they never come to me. Not sayin' I want 'em, mind you. But still. Should I feel insulted?? LOL

Now we are not sure if you want some manhood pics or if you don't your also fussy about PMS, so are you trying to confuse the males, or just keep them guessing, I have epics but they are not for public consummation

 

[boutrosboutros]

How to get a man to reply to a PM

I'm going to help you out girls. Some of you send PMs with no response, making you (I imagine) more frustrated and dejected. I'm going to go through what I do when I get a PM:

1. If it's a picture of your breasts, I reply.

2. If you can spell, I reply.

Er, that's about it.

 

[VA_Boy]

Freckledvixen and Hunnyblonde, LOL you had me cracking up about the dick pics! I appreciate the attempt made by this thread, but seriously when males outnumber the females 50 to 1 on this site; the minority has the upper hand!