Hello all,
First of all I would like to say what a great place this is. The warmth and genuine care that is expressed and the way an outright ‘crude’ pornographic approach to sexual matters is somehow avoided is great and makes this place something special. Not that I have anything against porn in its place!
I have been lurking a week or more and now I think I am ready to share an issue. I suspect it is one that has not arisen here before! If you are squeamish here’s a ‘squeam’ warming!
I am a male in his fifties. My partner of the last eight years is twenty years younger than me. We have a great relationship – and until the event I am about to describe arose, a great sex life. Pretty experimental, open and satisfying.
Last May I was diagnosed with cancer of the penis. I won’t go through all the details of the illness and the scariness of all of that period, but suffice to say I am now free of the disease. I received surgery and essentially the glands of the penis was removed. I was off work for four months and now I am completely healed. The surgery involved a little reconstruction but essentially what was an average to slightly above average sized penis is now a little over half the length it was.
I can still achieve an erection and I can still have orgasms – as one of the nurses who dealt with the aftercare said to me – sex is 90% in the mind..which in my experience is true.
The problem is that I am ‘stuck’. I have not even shown my partner the results of the surgery. We have only had sex once in almost five months and that consisted of me satisfying her ‘manually’. I seem unable to move onwards and engage her in a renewal of our sex life. I am self conscious for sure and embarrassed too, but I don’t – at least consciously – think in terms of a reduced level of ‘manliness’. I was never particularly macho anyway.
I have discussed the issue with my partner but we have never made much progress with it. We don’t argue about it and she is a very understanding woman, but I suspect somewhat stuck too. Has anyone any thoughts about how to get things going again? I would be interested in how female readers feel they would respond in this sort of situation.
I hope people don’t mind me blurting all this out.
First of all I would like to say what a great place this is. The warmth and genuine care that is expressed and the way an outright ‘crude’ pornographic approach to sexual matters is somehow avoided is great and makes this place something special. Not that I have anything against porn in its place!
I have been lurking a week or more and now I think I am ready to share an issue. I suspect it is one that has not arisen here before! If you are squeamish here’s a ‘squeam’ warming!
I am a male in his fifties. My partner of the last eight years is twenty years younger than me. We have a great relationship – and until the event I am about to describe arose, a great sex life. Pretty experimental, open and satisfying.
Last May I was diagnosed with cancer of the penis. I won’t go through all the details of the illness and the scariness of all of that period, but suffice to say I am now free of the disease. I received surgery and essentially the glands of the penis was removed. I was off work for four months and now I am completely healed. The surgery involved a little reconstruction but essentially what was an average to slightly above average sized penis is now a little over half the length it was.
I can still achieve an erection and I can still have orgasms – as one of the nurses who dealt with the aftercare said to me – sex is 90% in the mind..which in my experience is true.
The problem is that I am ‘stuck’. I have not even shown my partner the results of the surgery. We have only had sex once in almost five months and that consisted of me satisfying her ‘manually’. I seem unable to move onwards and engage her in a renewal of our sex life. I am self conscious for sure and embarrassed too, but I don’t – at least consciously – think in terms of a reduced level of ‘manliness’. I was never particularly macho anyway.
I have discussed the issue with my partner but we have never made much progress with it. We don’t argue about it and she is a very understanding woman, but I suspect somewhat stuck too. Has anyone any thoughts about how to get things going again? I would be interested in how female readers feel they would respond in this sort of situation.
I hope people don’t mind me blurting all this out.
from a good little witch.
