How to lose virginity...?

[MmmmBop]

I am still a virgin, which is quite upsetting to me. I cannot come up with a viable reason why I am still a virgin, either. I don't find myself unattractive, I think I have an ok personality, and I am not a 'prude' by any stretch of the imagination. I just seem to get stuck as the friend and not the girlfriend(or the fuck buddy, for that matter) I also don't think I give off that desperate vibe, but it's getting ridiculous. Any ideas how I could remedy this situation?
PS. I'm a 19 year old female.

 

[Reba67]

Take a look at this thread. He's a guy, but the principles still apply.

 

[infinity706]

Well, being a woman, if you're just looking to get fucked any way you can, you should have it pretty easy. Just get a revealing outfit, go to the nearest bar, and wait. You'll have plenty of guys buying you drinks in no time.

Now, if that's not your idea of a good time, you could always try asking out guys (or women if you like them) yourself. There are plenty of guys that wouldn't mind a woman making the first move. It's not really that hard to find men or women that will put out in the first couple dates. There are even some that will hook up outside of a relationship. If you have friends that are single and you think would be ok with it, you could always drop them a few hints that you'd like some action. Wear more revealing outfits (shorter skirts, low cut shirts, tighter jeans, etc.). Spend time alone with someone you'd like to fuck. Inject sex into more conversations or even start a conversation about sex somehow. You could even bring up some event, news article or something else sex related if you're not comfortable directly hitting on someone.

 

[Experiencedguy]

Ask your friends for help. Honestly, if you were near, I could find twenty guys and probably ten girls who would like to help you out.

For God's sake though, don't get drunk the first time and lose control. If you don't trust the partner with your life, insist on protection, and then verify it before starting.

 

[bronzeage]

I am still a virgin, which is quite upsetting to me. I cannot come up with a viable reason why I am still a virgin, either. I don't find myself unattractive, I think I have an ok personality, and I am not a 'prude' by any stretch of the imagination. I just seem to get stuck as the friend and not the girlfriend(or the fuck buddy, for that matter) I also don't think I give off that desperate vibe, but it's getting ridiculous. Any ideas how I could remedy this situation?
PS. I'm a 19 year old female.

Any healthy man in your age group, let's say 18 to 25, will gladly have sex with any woman who shows and interest in him. All that is needed is time and a place.

19 years old and a virgin does not mean you are going to die an old maid. Look around at the current prospects. If there is no one who excites you, broaden your circle of friends. After that, consider the time and place. If you live at home or share an apartment with 4 other women, that could be your problem right there. If you have the time and the place, just show your interest in a man. He will figure it out very quickly.

 

[human_male]

I'm the same, although I'm not quite a virgin. I can't understand it either. I see no discernable reason why I'm not having an awesome sex life, I'm that great a guy. It really gets to you eh. But remember, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age. If it's social pressure that makes you want to do it, all your friends are doing it and so forth, that's not a good enough reason to do it.

Do you socialise? Do you meet guys? When you do, how do you think you come across? Do you show interest in them, make eye contact and so forth? Do you constantly bring up a previous boyfriend or anything stupid like that?

Perhaps you should focus on meeting people and socialising more (if you're not already) rather than just going out and getting fucked by some stranger. If that's what you really want be safe about it.

But unless you're some sort of shambling mutant, I'm sure you can find some nice guy to either be a bf or a FWB, to shag you rotten on a regular basis. Try asking your friends if they've noticed if you're doing anything that guys might find off putting, or to give you some tips. And if there's someone you like don't be afraid to talk to him.

Good luck!

 

[irishwoody]

Chill out - 19 and still a virgin is not exactly anything to worry about - get yourself a gentle guy who will show you the way - in your own time. There is no rush. take care and remember to protect yourself as best you can.



Good luck

 

[LaRocha]

Chill out - 19 and still a virgin is not exactly anything to worry about - get yourself a gentle guy who will show you the way - in your own time. There is no rush. take care and remember to protect yourself as best you can.



Good luck

It's cool if she just wants to fuck a dirty, nasty guy too. Sex is easier in college. Just don't get with some guy over the internet, myspace, facebook, craigslist etc. If you need to fuck, just ask some guy you already know in person, not by text. The first girl I slept with in high school was just some girl I knew. We were talking one day about an English assignment and she brought up her virginity...I told her I'd come over her house after school. It happened to be that easy. I didn't think she was a slut, because I wanted to have my first sex as much as her.

 

[Primalex]

I am still a virgin, which is quite upsetting to me.

Why ?

 

[millieteases]

Well, I agree with the find a nice, gently guy and then, well, then just give him the opportunity. Kiss him after you go to the movies, make out with him, be a little aggressive.

If you have a fantasy about how the first time will be try to set it up with him.

And, remember, the first time is rarely the best time. You both may well be nervous, frightened, etc. It may hurt some - it did me, but after the first time it didn't.

Use birth control. You can very definitely get pregnant the first time. Talk to your doctor about what would be best for you. There are lots of choices.

And relax. Nineteen isn't the end of the world, like folks are saying. Find someone you like, relax and it will happen.

 

[cfuhrer]

Why ?

I would tend to echo this question. I was 25, fnished my schooling, had a good start on my career, then set about discovering the whole sex thing. Don't be in any big hurry, you'll only be disappointed.

 

[mandoscot]

I am still a virgin, which is quite upsetting to me. I cannot come up with a viable reason why I am still a virgin, either. I don't find myself unattractive, I think I have an ok personality, and I am not a 'prude' by any stretch of the imagination. I just seem to get stuck as the friend and not the girlfriend(or the fuck buddy, for that matter) I also don't think I give off that desperate vibe, but it's getting ridiculous. Any ideas how I could remedy this situation?
PS. I'm a 19 year old female.

Can I suggest letting things take their natural course? I wouldn't recommend chasing something just because it hasn't happened yet. When the time is right then you'll be in a better place to make a judgement. Failing that, call me and set a date.

;-)

 

[BertrandRussell]

Take a look at this thread. He's a guy, but the principles still apply.

Send him a PM.

 

[MmmmBop]

Well, being a woman, if you're just looking to get fucked any way you can, you should have it pretty easy. Just get a revealing outfit, go to the nearest bar, and wait. You'll have plenty of guys buying you drinks in no time.

Now, if that's not your idea of a good time, you could always try asking out guys (or women if you like them) yourself. There are plenty of guys that wouldn't mind a woman making the first move. It's not really that hard to find men or women that will put out in the first couple dates. There are even some that will hook up outside of a relationship. If you have friends that are single and you think would be ok with it, you could always drop them a few hints that you'd like some action. Wear more revealing outfits (shorter skirts, low cut shirts, tighter jeans, etc.). Spend time alone with someone you'd like to fuck. Inject sex into more conversations or even start a conversation about sex somehow. You could even bring up some event, news article or something else sex related if you're not comfortable directly hitting on someone.

Thank you, those are some good ideas. =]

Ask your friends for help. Honestly, if you were near, I could find twenty guys and probably ten girls who would like to help you out.

For God's sake though, don't get drunk the first time and lose control. If you don't trust the partner with your life, insist on protection, and then verify it before starting.

I'm not exactly one to get drunk and lose control haha. No worries there.

Any healthy man in your age group, let's say 18 to 25, will gladly have sex with any woman who shows and interest in him. All that is needed is time and a place.

19 years old and a virgin does not mean you are going to die an old maid. Look around at the current prospects. If there is no one who excites you, broaden your circle of friends. After that, consider the time and place. If you live at home or share an apartment with 4 other women, that could be your problem right there. If you have the time and the place, just show your interest in a man. He will figure it out very quickly.

I think those are some great ideas! Thanks. =]

I'm the same, although I'm not quite a virgin. I can't understand it either. I see no discernable reason why I'm not having an awesome sex life, I'm that great a guy. It really gets to you eh. But remember, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age. If it's social pressure that makes you want to do it, all your friends are doing it and so forth, that's not a good enough reason to do it.

Do you socialise? Do you meet guys? When you do, how do you think you come across? Do you show interest in them, make eye contact and so forth? Do you constantly bring up a previous boyfriend or anything stupid like that?

Perhaps you should focus on meeting people and socialising more (if you're not already) rather than just going out and getting fucked by some stranger. If that's what you really want be safe about it.

But unless you're some sort of shambling mutant, I'm sure you can find some nice guy to either be a bf or a FWB, to shag you rotten on a regular basis. Try asking your friends if they've noticed if you're doing anything that guys might find off putting, or to give you some tips. And if there's someone you like don't be afraid to talk to him.

Good luck!

I do socialize, a lot actually. Most of my friends are guys, and so I think I'm accustomed to being friendly...? I don't know, haha. And no, I don't bring up previous boyfriends or anything like that. Haha. Also, my goal is to not just go an get fucked by some random person...I should have said that in my first post...

Chill out - 19 and still a virgin is not exactly anything to worry about - get yourself a gentle guy who will show you the way - in your own time. There is no rush. take care and remember to protect yourself as best you can.



Good luck

Why ?

It's not me just being a virgin, I think it's more of a feeling of being unwanted? That's not quite the word, but it'll suffice.

Well, I agree with the find a nice, gently guy and then, well, then just give him the opportunity. Kiss him after you go to the movies, make out with him, be a little aggressive.

If you have a fantasy about how the first time will be try to set it up with him.

And, remember, the first time is rarely the best time. You both may well be nervous, frightened, etc. It may hurt some - it did me, but after the first time it didn't.

Use birth control. You can very definitely get pregnant the first time. Talk to your doctor about what would be best for you. There are lots of choices.

And relax. Nineteen isn't the end of the world, like folks are saying. Find someone you like, relax and it will happen.

Thanks for the advice. =]

Can I suggest letting things take their natural course? I wouldn't recommend chasing something just because it hasn't happened yet. When the time is right then you'll be in a better place to make a judgement. Failing that, call me and set a date.

;-)

Haha that's a valid point.

Send him a PM.

HAHA! Funny.

 

[BertrandRussell]

Send him a PM.

HAHA! Funny.

I wasn't joking. You two are in the same situation. You would understand a lot about each other before you even met. That's more than some people manage after months of dating.

He seems like a nice guy. Do it.

 

[NJFLOK]

It's not me just being a virgin, I think it's more of a feeling of being unwanted? That's not quite the word, but it'll suffice.

.

One thing that you don't want to do is confuse sex and unwanted thing.That is real bad for your state of mind. Have you ever thought that the guys you hang with respect you which is a good thing. There may be one or two or three that are curious but don't want to cross the line. Most of us are not real confident and fear rejection more so if its with someone we know.

 

[cfuhrer]

One thing that you don't want to do is confuse sex and unwanted thing.That is real bad for your state of mind.

I know it sounds cliche' but do not confuse being alone with being lonely. It is very important, especially as you enter adult hood that you learn the distinction as well as to enjoy and embrace time by yourself. I know my words don't offer much comfort but someday you'll understand it.

 

[dollface007]

I lost my virginity when I was 19. It's not like you're some kind of freak. Although, I understand that it can feel that way.

You said you have a lot of guy friends. Are you attracted to any of them? Can you ask them if they have any single friends? I have a tendency to put myself in "the buddy zone" a lot too, and I've learned I have to watch myself if I like a guy. Remember to be yourself, but find subtle ways to remind them that you're a woman. Don't be afraid to flirt and let guys know that you are interested.

 

[pplwatching]

I think those are some great ideas!

IMHO there are a lot of downsides to these ideas. Sexual health and pregnancy aside, probably the biggest is that putting yourself in a vulnerable situation with a random stranger is irresponsible with respect to your personal safety. Much moreso if alchohol is involved. If this is something that you're set on then you would be much better off getting to know your sexual partners first, and choosing from a select group of men.

Beyond that, in my opinion (and experience) if you start your sexual life by approaching sex as purely physical, it is very difficult to transition to sex as an act of intimacy when you are finally in a committed relationship.

A former girlfrient of mine complained about feeling incredibly lonely and depressed when her former FWBs never expressed an interest in a close friendship, and left when the sex was done. She didn't want a relationship, but she did want her partners to take an interest in her outside of the bedroom. You should probably spend some time thinking about how you'll feel after a casual encounter.

I believe that you'd be much better off focusing on building relationships first.

 

[dollface007]

You should probably spend some time thinking about how you'll feel after a casual encounter.

I believe that you'd be much better off focusing on building relationships first.

You know, this is a really really good point. You might want to really reflect on whether you're really just looking to have sex or if you really want a relationship. There have been times in my life when I really just wanted the sex, and it was fine. But there have also been times in my life when I really wanted a relationship and convinced myself that I would feel better about my life if I just hooked up with someone...which of course didn't turn out to be true.

It's your body...just be smart about it. Best of luck!

 

[subwannabe]

I gave this advice to a guy on the other thread and will copy it here. I don't think you're desperate but my advice still stands.

I know this is really, really, hard to believe and understand but this really falls into the category of "be careful what you wish for".

The fact is you don't have the right attitude for this not to blow up in your face. You are desperate and desperate people do desperate things and that is going to eventually lead you down the road where you will be extremely sorry for getting what you wanted so bad. Believe, me I have known several who went down that same road and they wound up being very sorry. I was a virgin until I was 25 (for several reasons - one of them actually being "luck") and even though it was a huge bummer for me then and even now, my life is waaaaay better than those who got what they wanted.

 

[Ironton7]

Warning...

Beware of what you wish for...you may get it. I am glad you asked the question. Take what I say and think about it. Find someone who will be gentle, and lovingly tender, not some teenage wanker. An older, experienced man who will treat you with respect and go slowly; Once you cross this threshold, though...you will want more!

 

[Labe_Lover]

Find yourself an older, patient, guy that you already know. He will be a bit more experienced and will see that you enjoy yourself. He will be flattered that you picked him. Wish it were me!

 

[Kitkat103]

I am still a virgin, which is quite upsetting to me. I cannot come up with a viable reason why I am still a virgin, either. I don't find myself unattractive, I think I have an ok personality, and I am not a 'prude' by any stretch of the imagination. I just seem to get stuck as the friend and not the girlfriend(or the fuck buddy, for that matter) I also don't think I give off that desperate vibe, but it's getting ridiculous. Any ideas how I could remedy this situation?
PS. I'm a 19 year old female.

Relax! Im 21 and still a virgin! When I was your age I had just started Masturbating! I do have to charge batteries like crazy but I am not going to sleep with some guy because I am getting antzy. If you rush just to lose it you may not receive the optimal results you intended to seek. Get a vibrator and/or dildo and just wait until you meet the right one, then you will not regret it!

 

[BertrandRussell]

... just wait until you meet the right one, then you will not regret it!

You don't have to meet the right one, just a good one. If you keep looking for the right one you may pass by lots of good ones.