How to seduce an older woman/MILF/Cougar

[young9]

Can y'all two both stop. If y'all are wantin to have this argument, take it to a PM. I'm asking for advice. So please stop

 

[Que]

Query, maybe rein it in a tad. The OP is what, 5 or 6 posts in, total.

Perhaps you are making a mountain out of a 7 -1/2 bulge, yes? Folks 'round these parts share experiences and dole out advice in many shapes and forms, based on their experiences (both in life and Lit) and respond in ways that will differ from yours. Don't take it so personally, and try not to blow things out of proportion.

This thread will fade, and next week there'll be another one started asking about nailing cougars / milfs / midgets / chicks on stilts.

Pace yourself perhaps. You're getting a little squicky with the squicks.

You missin' Drinkz and the sparring or something?

You might be right...

Probably projecting

25 years ago I didn't even know what passive aggressive was....

After 20 years of it I have a doctorate. SO I tend have my radar set a bit.

Had the cougar taken a direct swipe, I probably would have ignored it or acknowledged the possibility that SOME might have found the use of "girls' in counseling a proto-adolescent boy off-putting.

But championing the tripe while taking an oblique swipe was doubly irritating

I am also a little oversensitive because before I (strongly encouraged) friend drinkz to show his true stripe on that particular profile, he was reporting ( I suspect accurately) a cadre of fans that felt little old him was unfairly maligned.

So..during the travails and since I have noticed some snark from unlikely quarters over basically nothing.

 

[Que]

To the OP: Seriously...I have been busting your chops for a reason. I am not (necessarily) suggesting that a goal of a sexual experience with another human needs to be anything more than a one night stand. In fact sometimes those experiences can be very validating and connecting. They also can be approached, proposed, and enjoyed with honesty and personal integrity for all involved.

The problem I had from the outset with your post is one I SHOULD (but admittedly don't) point out when someone wants to meet and bang Asian chicks or black guys or T-girls or twins or whatever...

It is that the stated goal is off. Not for high and mighty moral reasons, but because it is about a "thing" not a person. Objectification is in and of itself something that to a greater or lesser degree, most people engage in. Some girls even dig it. It's rude to a stranger, but if you know her and you know she likes it even if she blushes, go ahead and wolf whistle...like that. Follow?

The reason it is "off" is because it is incongruent with human interaction. You don't hunt people for their "classification". When you think of it like 'Oh, wow, I haven't had a blond...THERE'S one! I sure wanna see if I can get her' ..., your frame is off and it WILL be obvious in how you talk about and to her.

As long as you are looking at a gazelle through the scope as a gazelle and not thinking about it as a mammal with easily identifiable needs: where does it go to water, where does it feed, where is it most comfortable, you will miss the shot every time. Meet WOMEN...lots of them...get good at talking to them even the ones that maybe you upon talking to them are less interested in, and you will put yourself in a frame of seeing them as people. Until you do, you will spook the herd.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Pmann should have a lot to add to this thread! He's all over the MILFs and cougars of lit. AMIRIGHT?!

Rainshine is right. I am the cougar expert.

Okay, here is some good advice about cougars. I am pretty knowledgable and, living in Florida, we have our fair share. I've had my own collection, and I am only 30. Most of this was back when I was about 21-22.

Here is my advice and some things you need to know:

- I've found the location in which they live really makes them different. For instance, the cougars from the north are a bit different than the ones in the south. Know your cougars! What I'm getting at is this... All cougars are not the same. You seem to think that there is one method to capture a cougar. That is so far from the truth brother.

- Know your cougar call. They respond to sounds. Make the wrong one and you've lost the cougar. That's the difference between your young kitty and a cougar. The meter for what she wants is already dialed in.

- Night time is best if you're trying to land a cougar. I've never had much luck during the day. Some would say they are more nocturnal. That's just my experience.

- They are a lot of upkeep. Cougars aren't just looking for a bowl of milk, so to speak.

- When you find what cougar you want, keep your eyes on her. Never ever take your eyes off. Trust me, her senses are way sharper than yours as a 21 year old guy. Lose her from your sites and you may be left with a 7" dick in your hand.

- Know what attracts them. I find that they like raw chicken. It sounds gross, but it's a cheap easy way to lure them. Like I said, they differ depending on where you live. The cougars down here eat deer, hogs and armadillo. I'm not touching that shit. So, raw chicken is best.

- If you want to capture a cougar, you better have a big fucking cage. They're mean as a motherfucker and they will claw you to bits if you get too close.

- They can jump like 25' vertically, which is fucking insane.

- When they eat, sometimes they do it so fast that they immediately vomit. So, watch out.

Hopefully that helps. Check your state laws because I'm pretty sure catching and holding them is illegal in most states.

Good luck. Don't forget to wear a glove.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I was pointing out how much I know about 14 year old boys.

Bwhahahaha. Oh fuck. I had to quote this. I can't believe you out that in writing, mate. (Yes, I have the sense of humour of the a 14 year old boy. But oh man that's hilarious.

Sorry for the interruption. Carry on!

(And I'm not having a go at you, just thought that post was awesome)

 

[LadyVer]

pmann, dare I ask if you have stories published;on Lit?

We have Hollywood to thank for cougar and milf. Now if writers would stop writing about how men roar when they come, that would be one less issue to deal with relating to the animal kingdom.

 

[Lord Pmann]

pmann, dare I ask if you have stories published;on Lit?

We have Hollywood to thank for cougar and milf. Now if writers would stop writing about how men roar when they come, that would be one less issue to deal with relating to the animal kingdom.

I have no published stories. However, I'm getting a good idea to write one about a young lad trying to fuck a cougar, but instead, getting mauled.

 

[LadyVer]

I have no published stories. However, I'm getting a good idea to write one about a young lad trying to fuck a cougar, but instead, getting mauled.

OK, but you won't be the first. Just sayin.

 

[Que]

Bwhahahaha. Oh fuck. I had to quote this. I can't believe you put that in writing, mate. (Yes, I have the sense of humour of the a 14 year old boy. But oh man that's hilarious.

I well remember being 14. I'm sure this might be hard to believe but I wasn't always as suave and sophisticated with the girls as I am now. The current usage of the term cougar hadn't been invented as far as I know. Obviously, the fantasy existed, see Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate".

I used to mow the lawn for this winter visitor as well as the house next door to his- which belonged to his daughter and her husband.

The daughter, Gaye, was probably in her late 30's. Her second husband was a balding mathematics professor in his late 40's. His appearance might well have helped fuel my hormone-driven 14 year old imagination to suppose that I had possibly a shot at his wife. Come to think of it- he looked somewhat like I do now.

Gaye often wore her bikini as she was for example setting a bottle of iced tea on the fence while I mowed. She spent quite a bit time skimming leaves and grass out of her pool while I worked.

In hindsight I'm sure she probably noticed and enjoyed my furtive reactions. Professor Hubby was probably in on the gag. He was often home for lunc while I was out working.

I think one of the reasons such fantasies were common in the very young me is that I was of an age where girls suddenly become kind of confusing and odd. A more mature woman would talk to me the same as she did when I was 10 or 12, before there started to be fumbling courtship rituals associated with talking to a girl.

As I continued to progress (or not) as a shy virgin for a number of years...think Steve Carrell....I was kind of skinny, cute in a nerdy way and above all non-threatening. Not something girls of any age yearn for in a mate.

I dare say that all girls enjoy polite attention. If they caught me sneaking a glance at their legs as they dangled a shoe, they would favor me with a knowing, tolerant smile. I'm sure it is nice to be admired, and an older, married woman could safely accept, if not openly encourage some discrete ogling.

This interaction was something just short of flirting, and tended to fuel fantasy. Sometimes, that was a lot easier to engage in then simply putting myself out there with girls that might be a little bit more age appropriate for me to practice my social skills on.

 

[bailadora]

The reason it is "off" is because it is incongruent with human interaction. You don't hunt people for their "classification". When you think of it like 'Oh, wow, I haven't had a blond...THERE'S one! I sure wanna see if I can get her' ..., your frame is off and it WILL be obvious in how you talk about and to her.

As long as you are looking at a gazelle through the scope as a gazelle and not thinking about it as a mammal with easily identifiable needs: where does it go to water, where does it feed, where is it most comfortable, you will miss the shot every time. Meet WOMEN...lots of them...get good at talking to them even the ones that maybe you upon talking to them are less interested in, and you will put yourself in a frame of seeing them as people. Until you do, you will spook the herd.

QFT.

I've got to admit, threads like this irritate the shit out of me because 9 times out of 10, it's all about the OP and their goals/fantasy. Never mind that there is a living, breathing, feeling person on the receiving end of this.

OP, instead of fetishizing a woman due to her age, you'd be better served in learning how to relate to women, and in learning how to become a more caring, interested, and giving lover. 'Cause right now, you give the impression it's all about you. Why the hell should an older woman give a shit that to bang her is on your bucket list? Young and hung? Pfft! So what? Guys like you are a dime a dozen. What makes you stand out from all the other dudes out there who are after the same thing?

You're young yet, so put the time you have into research. Read up on how women's bodies work. Here's a little gem for you: 80% of women don't orgasm from PIV sex, so unless she's a size queen, the size of your cock is relatively immaterial. Learn to understand that it's not all about the flesh, either. Our minds are the biggest erogenous zones we have, so learn how to tap into and feed your lover's fantasies instead of focusing solely on your own goals. You'll be a much better person for it.

I'll admit this post is a bit brusque, but Query hit it on the head: unless someone kinks on being objectified for a certain thing (ie their age), don't do it. It's just fucking rude!

 

[amofiga]

To the OP:

There's been way too much information being flung around. Some of it good, some of it bad, some of it just wise ass BS. If you are serious about having sex with an older woman, some of the best advice has been to treat her like a queen and not like a piece of meat. I suppose that goes for all women but I don't think any older woman wants to feel like some younger guy is doing her a favor by having sex with her. Be mature and be respectful, but if the subject of sex comes up, don't be a jerk and act like a horny monkey.

In my time, I've had several older women ranging from say 5 years older to 15 years older. However, at the time, I wasn't a young kid of 21 either. I was in my early 30's so perhaps I wasn't walking around like a teenager with a hard-on in his pants. One of the things I found is that older women, especially those in their 40's and 50's, are quite worried about losing their youth and beauty. They're getting those lines and wrinkles, the first grey hairs, and the boobs are starting to sag a touch. What they want more than anything is reassurance that they are still beautiful and attractive, especially to younger men. Make her feel attractive and sexy and there's no telling how wild she will get with you. My wife once confided in me that the thing that made her feel awful was when she first noticed as she walked along the beach in her swimsuit, the the eyes of most of the younger guys were no longer following her. She always used to enjoy the looks of men as she walked by but when they started to deminish, she felt terrible and old.

One thing I learned is that older women are indeed more knowledgeable and more willing to experiment and engage in things they might not have been willing to do when they were younger and felt that they were God's gift to men. Older women are like Avis.....they try harder. I was also much attracted and grateful to my older women for not making me feel like a "kid" and being open to letting themselves be sexual beings without regard to an age difference. Make them feel like there is no age difference and if there is, it doesn't matter.

I think the notion of a "couger on the prowl for young meat" may be true in some cases. However, I think that in truth, many older women appreciate the attention of a younger man that make her feel that she is an attractive woman rather than a quick fuck. Good luck. You may find that a relationship or two with an older woman will teach you a lot about women in general.

 

[NotHisLady]

To the OP:

There's been way too much information being flung around. Some of it good, some of it bad, some of it just wise ass BS. If you are serious about having sex with an older woman, some of the best advice has been to treat her like a queen and not like a piece of meat. I suppose that goes for all women but I don't think any older woman wants to feel like some younger guy is doing her a favor by having sex with her. Be mature and be respectful, but if the subject of sex comes up, don't be a jerk and act like a horny monkey.

In my time, I've had several older women ranging from say 5 years older to 15 years older. However, at the time, I wasn't a young kid of 21 either. I was in my early 30's so perhaps I wasn't walking around like a teenager with a hard-on in his pants. One of the things I found is that older women, especially those in their 40's and 50's, are quite worried about losing their youth and beauty. They're getting those lines and wrinkles, the first grey hairs, and the boobs are starting to sag a touch. What they want more than anything is reassurance that they are still beautiful and attractive, especially to younger men. Make her feel attractive and sexy and there's no telling how wild she will get with you. My wife once confided in me that the thing that made her feel awful was when she first noticed as she walked along the beach in her swimsuit, the the eyes of most of the younger guys were no longer following her. She always used to enjoy the looks of men as she walked by but when they started to deminish, she felt terrible and old.

One thing I learned is that older women are indeed more knowledgeable and more willing to experiment and engage in things they might not have been willing to do when they were younger and felt that they were God's gift to men. Older women are like Avis.....they try harder. I was also much attracted and grateful to my older women for not making me feel like a "kid" and being open to letting themselves be sexual beings without regard to an age difference. Make them feel like there is no age difference and if there is, it doesn't matter.

I think the notion of a "couger on the prowl for young meat" may be true in some cases. However, I think that in truth, many older women appreciate the attention of a younger man that make her feel that she is an attractive woman rather than a quick fuck. Good luck. You may find that a relationship or two with an older woman will teach you a lot about women in general.

Jesus Please us! How did I know this would eventually make it onto this thread?

You've got the first part right more or less. Oddly enough treating a woman like a person is one way of getting to know her. I've got to applaud the "don't be a jerk and act like a horny monkey" bit as well. That covers miles of ground.
In fact I was just getting to like you until you hit us with the advice from hell.
She's going to be insecure, use that.
Really?

In the first place all these young guys say they want to be with an older woman because their age will have given them confidence. You better pick one because you can't have it both ways here.
In the second place I have to tell you that at the age of 45 I am presently the most self assured I have ever been (and the least likely to brook idiocy.)

I'd really like to know what it is that someone in his 20's expects to find in a woman twice that age. Is that quality completely lacking in the women of his own generation?
May I be so bold as to point out the fact that if a woman my age or older has something different to offer than one in her 20's then the same might hold true for men as well? Has anyone stopped to consider that?
It would probably be a very good idea to try and sort out what it is you want and why you expect to get it where you're looking.
It may be that Query has the keenest insight of anyone here. It isn't that the older women are different so much as that they treat a 20 year old the same as they always have where a 20 year old woman will have started treating that same 20 year old guy differently. Following that logic, dating out of your age group lets you delay (or avoid) that paradigm shift, lets you stay in the comfort zone you've been in rather than needing to adjust. It's an interesting idea at the very least. (I hope I haven't misunderstood you too badly or paraphrased you to dreadfully, Q.)
I would also suggest asking yourself what you bring to the table to make it worthwhile for that potential lover. (Hint: Don't mention your most prized possession here--if she's what you're looking for she's seen more than one so your's isn't all that special.)

OP, you want concrete advice?
Here you go--
Don't create drama--you're friends' moms are off limits. No discussion.
Don't lie--never say, suggest, imply, or hint at wanting a relationship if all you want is sex. EVER
Don't be an ass--if you get turned down you got turned down, it isn't because she's a bitch or a snob or any other petty excuse for putting blame on somebody. In real life things like that happen, get over it.
Don't be cheap--I don't care how many movies you've watched or stories you've read, I don't care what you're buddies tell you, do not ever let her pay for anything on a date when you've asked her out.
DO be a gentleman--I don't care if you find the end all be all best you or anyone else has ever had, you don't go tell you're buddies about it.

You have 2 eyes, 2 ears, and 1 mouth. That means you should look and listen twice as much as you talk.
I suggest avoiding calling any woman 'cougar' or 'MILF' since they translate into "hot old chick" but that's your call.

Live and be happy. If you've finished your list before you turn 25 you have 2 choices.
Make a new list or Google Sid Vicious.

 

[LadyVer]

He doesn't have published stories but he'll happily write one for you, or maybe whip one out of his cougar hunting survival kit for you!

Sounds interesting. Maybe he could share a story on a thread. Maybe on Story Ideas.

PS I liked your comment, amof.