How to take a risk

[icy_cold_beer]

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” - Andre Gide (according to a few sources.)

Sorry about the long post. If you dont want to read it all just read and reply to the last paragraph.

You may have read my previous threads about being a virgin, too shy to talk to girls etc. I want this thread to be a little less centred around me. However heres my story(lol): In the last few days ive taken the biggest risk of life when it comes to girls. Theres this girl (lets call her liz) ive been crazy about since highschool, about two years ago. But she has had a boyfriend (who was a mate of mine) for the whole time ive known her, however they just recently broke up (2 or 3 months ago). Ive been kinda keepin in touch with liz via the internet. As a group of friends we caught up at the weekend. One of my mates i still see from school messaged the old posse and organised a get together dinner, there was about 15 of us(half girls, half guys). This chick(liz), who we have all been friends with shorter than the bloke, was the one who was invited. During the course of the night i was reminded just how much of a crush i had on her.

Anyway after dinner we went out clubbing. And I kinda danced with her. I was too nervous to really go for it and show her that i was interested. So my dancing with her probably showed her i wasnt interested at all in that way. The next day i was spewing i didnt just risk it and see what happened. I couldnt get her out of my mind. So i sent her an email (which took me two days to write and get the courage to send) and finally told her how i felt. It was really honest and it was probably really confronting for her. I just blurted out everything.

She doesnt share the same feelings. .Yea im sad about that, but i actually feel like i have a monkey off my back. For once i took a risk. And learnt i need to do that more often, but probably in different ways.

I just want to know how have you taken a risk? How do you ask a girl/guy out? What do you do on a first date? Dinner? movie? what else? I was too scared to ask her out, and then go on a date, so i just sent her a letter telling her how i felt.

 

[Chicklet]

i generally try to set up something extremely casual.

coffee, or lunch, instead of dinner for instance. it is a lot easier to accept an invitation to something like coffee because there's less pressure about it being a 'date' and also doesn't need to last as long as a formal dinner. it's also cheap, which makes me happy to treat or be treated and not feel obligated to do anything else. i tend to choose a coffee shop that's reasonably comfortable, with couches or comfy chairs, so i can lounge and not worry about being too stiff. casual is good for me. i also try to bring cards along or something in case i don't know what to talk about... it's a good icebreaker.

good luck.

 

[FurryFury]

My husband took a huge and uncharacteristic for him, risk of telling me how interested he was in me when he did.

It is because of that that we have been together for over 17 years now. If he hadn't spoken up when he did or very soon afterwards, we would probably, not be together at this time. Everyone told him NOT to. Everyone told him to wait.

He had thought the whole thing out very well. That was good because his vision of our future was not one familiar to me. I had questions. He was not only able to answer them, his answers made good sense and made me desire him all the more.

So I say taking a risk might not always work out but it's still worth doing because then you know. Then you don't have to look back and say, "what if." That's a form of torture I don't like.