I can't get an orgasm during sex...

[Alice_In_Chains]

...or oral sex for that matter. Before I lost my virginity I was heavily fingering myself [I was fifteen when I lost it I'm 18 now] Everytime I have sex or a guy is going down on me I can't reach orgasm I can nearly get there but I just never seem to get there.
Ah someone help!

 

[lovetoread]

I think that there is nothing wrong with fantasizing up to and during the act to get you to relax enough to have one.

Also if you are not bashfull,just reach down and finger your clit during sex.

As far as the going down goes,is it lasting long enough?

It takes me forever to get off while being eaten,and the tongue of the eater tends to get tired often.

 

[msbuzzy]

My advice to you would be to relax. Don't make an issue out of cumming. The more you worry about it the less likely it will be to happen.

 

[Guest]

Bingo!

My advice to you would be to relax. Don't make an issue out of cumming. The more you worry about it the less likely it will be to happen.

Relax! Relax! Relax! And, after that, relax some more!

The more you dwell on having an orgasm the less likely it'll come to you! There have been several times when I have not had an orgasm when with a man. Most often the reason was because of me dwelling on the climax and not taking the time to enjoy the act.

If you think it is due to a "technique" (or lack there of), then you need to be open and honest with your partner. Though the "clinical talking about sex" can be quite boring, it is needed in sexual relationships. Suggest different positions for different stimulations. Doggie style and spoons are great for manual clitoral stimulation, and woman on top can allow you to grind your pussy down on him (thus rubbing your clit in his pubic hair/mound).

Relax, enjoy, talk, experiment!

 

[marksgirl]

Let your brain do the fucking. Close your eyes and go into your brain, it is the largest sex organ you have. And like the others have stated, relax and go with the flow.

 

[prettyrockslut]

maybe your mentality is that you aren't gonna get to orgasm, so you have a lapse in concentration during sex.

here's a trick that usually works:
1) have your mate rub his fingers around his cock at the edge of your entry, while it is inside... the pressure on different areas will sometimes be enough that you will orgasm.. or have him put a finger in and move it opposite to his cock...

or
not for the squeamish
2) get your guy to put a finger, or a vibrator, up your ass as you are fucking. make it press against the membrane directly next to your vagina. If it's his finger, he will be able to feel his dick moving in and out of you. If he presses a little down, it will hit that magic spot inside. and the orgasm will last as long as he keeps the pressure on, and the rhythm the same!!

 

[Ventoso]

...or oral sex for that matter. Before I lost my virginity I was heavily fingering myself [I was fifteen when I lost it I'm 18 now] Everytime I have sex or a guy is going down on me I can't reach orgasm I can nearly get there but I just never seem to get there.
Ah someone help!

Besides the advices of being more relaxed, you could maybe try with more experienced (or older) guys, who are more inclined to please women!

 

[bharman4102]

you might want to show your guy what works for you...consider it as a sex seminar...believe me, he will listen and watch attentively!

 

[BlueVelvet]

Same thing here

I know what you are going through...I have the same problem mysefl....I can never orgasm by a mans touch.oral or penetration. i always have to masturbate myself to orgasm.....

what works the best for me...is when he just slides a little of his cock inside me..just the head while i'm rubbing my clit....then ican feel where my g spot is with him rubbing me there....it feels much better than when alone.

Sadly, I haven't been able to find a way to get off by his actions alone.....trying very hard though

 

[Erlikkhan]

Think it would make a hot story... "Alice never had an orgasm until she met Studs Parker..."

 

[Quimmy]

Heh, I have that problem and I'm a guy. It's terrible. Especially during oral sex.

I think my problem is that I start thinking I should cum sooner, because I'm inconveniencing my partner by making them give it so long. (that's not the case, but I think it anyways) But then I think "Oh crap, I shouldn't be thinking of cumming, or it'll never happen!" so I try to think of nothing but the feelings. And nothing happens. We usually just give up after an hour or so, or I finish it off myself (which I hate doing...).

Same thing with intercourse, but at least that tires me out.

Then to make matters more severe, I can get her cumming in like 2-5 minutes.

Talk about stereotype reversal. Maybe it's a phase, I dunno.

 

[Guest]

never heard of a guy having this problem......thanks for sharing

 

[peachykeen]

Umm...Alice...

like a week ago you started a thread about the problems you were having in realtionships - feeling overly needy and such - due to what is most like post-traumatic stress disorder after a fairly recent sexual assault.

Now you are here saying you need advice because you can't reach an orgasm during sex. Honey, lemme tall ya - and I say this out of sincere concern, I am not playing with you here - I think you have much bigger issues to deal with.

You need to talk to someone about what happened to you. You cannot brush it aside and then expect to la-dee-da have a rich, satisfying sex life. And the more time you let go by, the harder it will be to deal with it.

Just my two cents. I may be wrong, but I really don't think so. Take care of yourself. You're the only you you've got.