I did not

I did not have impure thoughts about that sexy stranger during the church service.
 
I did not...

...look forward to staring work today after two weeks vacation!
 
I did not eat most of that bag of Cheetos. I don't know how my fingers got this orange.
 
I did not masturbate this morning. I just locked the door for the sake of privacy.
 
I did no eat that Yodel in the pantry this morning. Really. Ok. Damnit. I did. *hangs my head*
 
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