I have permission...honest

[whatageek]

Great minds think alike!

Now if I could JUST find a "playmate".

LOL

 

[baldbull]

MG was the one...

who are you asking about?Imi or Montrealgirl?

She pulls no punches

but ino is differnent and has soem interestimg views


I love the REAL women of lit!!

 

[Imi]

As we say....it's the difference between love and sex.

YES!! BINGO!!

Personally feel like my hubby has given me a huge gift. He was the only person I had intercourse with before we got married. I didn't plan it that way, I didn't expect it. I just happened because he was the first guy I met that was willing to work with me, let me go at my own pace.

Am I curious about other men? Yep. Am I curious about other dicks? Yep. Am I curious about other women? Yep. Am I curious about labia? Yep. That's sex.

Now, why in all hells would I want to get rid of someone in my life who would allow me to explore and then come home?? Hells, why would I want to get rid of someone who I could be this honest with? I know how rare that is, thanks to Lit. Why wouldn't I cherish that?? That's love.

 

[Imi]

She pulls no punches

but ino is differnent and has soem interestimg views

Huh? I'm still waiting to hear who you wanted the response from...

 

[southerntierguy]

But that was the whole point of the post. What if the guy was upfront?? And wasn't beleived? Whatageek is in that very position. Same with my hubby should he choose to take me up on my offer. I suspect that he would be luckier if I set him up with someone than if he tried on his own.

And what if he wasn't believed? It's not like everyone has a right to screw anyone else they find attractive. Is that a bad thing in society?

I think you are probably right about the last statement, a man in an open relationship trying to connect with someone is more likely to be successful if the wife is somehow engaged in making that connection.

 

[eyesee]

curious quandry

Looking at this from the perspective of the "cheatee" (the person not in the primary relationship) one could speculate based on the good old double standard. When a young man has several partners, he's a stud; when a woman experiences numerous lovers, she's a tramp.

Therefore, both cheating and lying about it fit into the "macho" world, wherein the big boss man (that which damgles between our legs) would instruct us to declare our freedom more often than it has really been granted. Inversely, societal niceties (andfor their safety) would probably have women understate their freedom to roam. In order to get reliable information, you'd have to survey both spouses.

Besides, given the state of most relationships, do you think couples actually discuss the issue in depth or is there just this unspoken, "no cheat" clause and by God if you do, then I'm cheatin' on you, damnit.

I was in an open marriage for some years and my (ex)wife had told me that her suitors were most always concerned with where I was, fearful that the typical man could only react by beating the shit out of the guy sleeping with his old lady. The few women I had relations with seemed to react more emotionally with such comments as, "well, she let you out of her site" (opportunity) and "if she's not taking care of you at home then shame on her."

I have no conclusion except perhaps for people's delusion
... that lead them to erronious assumptions like cheatin' on their dumplin's
......because instead of talkin', both of them are balkin'
......... just not dealin' with their own personal feelin's
............ wanting to fool around without getting crowned
by their significant other for doin' things you were warned of by mother
...... so they take a chance and lower their pants
............ and all the while they is tryin' they just keep on lyin'



eyesee

 

[Imi]

And what if he wasn't believed?

Again, that was the point of the first post. To check the hypothesis. Though I was pretty sure I knew the answer. Both of us did, as a matter of fact.

Actually, knowing that hubby wouldn't be beleived makes me less interested in running right out and doing something. To me, it works because we both have permission. I know he's always be fascinated by a sizeable rack. I can't obilge but if he's willing to let me have an experience, I want him to have one too. If he can't, I don't know that I would feel okay having my experience. Add the fact that I've been stupidly tired and stressed lately, and I don't know that I have the libido for anyone else right now. (Ain't that a kick in the pants?)

And for the record, I'm not talking about cheating. To me, cheating happens when your spouse DOESN'T know and/or isn't okay with having multiple partners. To me, getting permission is what makes the difference.

 

[montrealgirl]

you are one of the more outspoken fems on lit, so why are you here? Why cant I meet you in the real world (translation: why aren't you out tonight or in bed getting your body rocked?

Thanks...I am taking that as a compliment because, yes I am outspoken, but also intelligent and I do put thought into my posts. And perhaps I will start that thread as it truly is the million dollar question.

Why am I here? I don't really know anymore.

Why am I not getting my body rocked? Well, that is also for another thread.

 

[montrealgirl]

Well, I think that whatageek had the right of it.

I can totally understand being happily married and still coming on Lit and what not...but if you are truly happily married, why the need to lie about it and keep it a secret? That's what I don't get.

But if both partners give "permission" then for sure the woman will have no trouble finding men...the husband on the other hand...I don't think so.

 

[montrealgirl]

She pulls no punches

but ino is differnent and has soem interestimg views


I love the REAL women of lit!!

And we love being loved. Thanks for the kind words.

 

[whatageek]

But if both partners give "permission" then for sure the woman will have no trouble finding men...the husband on the other hand...I don't think so.

That's EXACTLY how it is. Oh well...I guess having to "work for it" more makes one appreciate it more! heheheh

 

[southerntierguy]

Again, that was the point of the first post. To check the hypothesis. Though I was pretty sure I knew the answer. Both of us did, as a matter of fact.

And for the record, I'm not talking about cheating. To me, cheating happens when your spouse DOESN'T know and/or isn't okay with having multiple partners. To me, getting permission is what makes the difference.

I agree with your definition. But I'd say, perhaps wrongly but it's my first impression on this, there is a general impression that men are less honest than women in most things, and particularly when it comes to sex. Plus, another factor is that at least some women are in a more vulnerable position that the men they'd encounter. It may be a prejudiced, but I think a healthier, way of viewing such propositions.

But I admit my view of honesty from people in general is tainted by a few recent business issues.

 

[Imi]

I can totally understand being happily married and still coming on Lit and what not...but if you are truly happily married, why the need to lie about it and keep it a secret? That's what I don't get.

I think there is a difference between being happily married, internally self content/happy, wanting to improve things (I know, some people won't think that fooling around with other people is improvement, but work with me, here, k?)

Let me speak from my own experience...I came to Lit to improve my self image. I wanted to shed my 'ugly duckling' complex. And I must say, I owe the men and women of Lit a debt of gratitude for it. It took a while for hubby to understand why I needed external feedback. He was SUPPOSED to love me, he was SUPPOSED to say what I wanted to hear. I needed to hear that I was attractive from people who didn't have any alterior motive, other than to see more nekkid pictures from me. And it was so important that they wanted to see me (when they could see the picture perfect porn dolls any time they wanted to). It made me feel better about myself and certainly helped our sex life because when I got turned on, hubby was the beneficiary. And I appreciated the confidence that hubby showed in me in allowing me to post, and the fact that he dealt with his
own insecurities to allow to me post. That was such a gift and it made appreciate and love him even more.

Now, I want to do something I always wanted to do. We had a rough spell a few years ago and when push came to shove, I really didn't want to split up. He got with the stick, things got MUCH MUCH better and I'm happier now with him than I've ever been. And he likes himself more too.

The only regret that I have about working so hard to get us solid again is that I missed out on some sexual exploration. Truthfully, I resented hubby a bit over it. Why did I, once again, have to be the one to sacrifice when he was the one who was in the dog house? However, sexual exploration is a dangerous matter, not to be undertaken lightly. Today, it can be deadly. Still I don't HAVE to miss out on sexual exploration. We can remedy that and I suspect I will come to appreciate hubby even MORE as a result.

Admittedly, hubby still has some reservations that I don't get. He's worried about changing things between us if I have a sexual encounter with a man, but he has no problems with my girlfriend. Heck, he was the one who told me I didn't have to feel guilty when I took a few days to go see her. So we'll keep talking to get at what he really fears. It can't be having a sexual encounter outside of marriage because he's already proven he can handle it and doesn't affect our marriage one iota. (Who was it who asked about why I started the thread? Well, that's the reason.)

 

[Imi]

bump

 

[~photoguy~]

I agree that many guys might let the wrong head do the thinking for them .. and a hot lady telling him that she has permission to play... may cause the blood to rush out of the thinking head ...

I would be somewhat skeptical.

I'm sure that many people, with the desire to cheat .. "say" that they have permission to play .... just to move things along.

getting back to your original question Imi .. yeah there is a double standard

 

[fetishboy4fun]

depends on what you mean by playing.

My fiance, soon to be wife.....knows i'm on literotica, knows i chat and cyber, and cam.....she's not into it, but she loves when i exibit for her.....and since its fairly anonymous, and i see it as a form or self gratification (as does she) its the same as masterbating to videos or books or whatever, as far as we are concered.

 

[OldestMotive]

I've known a few people in "open" marriages. The women definitely have an easier time finding partners than do the men. Unless, of course, they swing together. Even then, I think the ladies probably come out ahead.

 

[fenderman68]

I have permission to play.......as long as my wife can play as well!!!!