I will lose control after the divorce

[CocoaBeachChick]

I'm 44... My husband... Excuse me.... Soon to be ex is in the house....
I'm in my car....I sit on the driveway. 2 am.... In the dark.... Rubbing through the gym shorts....I have my Kik pulled up and streamed with Patrick on Kik.... Now I'm streaming but not showing my face....
I rub through the shorts. No panties... How in the chat doubt I'm real as they listen to my whimper.....
Then I flash my face.... Look of depravity....200+ men in the stream explode in chatter as they realize I'm real....I point the camera away again and the electricity in the stream is exploding as they listen to the squish squish sounds of my wet pussy.....
My seat slightly reclined as I look to the left....

There he is coming home late. He lives with his parents.....
He is in the next driveway over and talking on the phone....I see his face... His muscular arms and I push in...ughhhhh
Fuck I'm awful.... I'm more than twice his age.... Why am I doing this....I look over again and my mind races ....
I want to approach him but I sit in darkness.....
I keep taking risks....ughhhhh I pull out and wipe a streak of my juices on the window.....
I wasn't him standing there watching me!
I want his cock to thump the glass....
He walks inside.....I pause.....
I don't know why I did this....

...I turn my dome light off so morning will light up and I open my door. I carefully shut it.....

I tip toe to the front of the car... Goose bumps... In the 60s here in rockledge and I'm in blue running shorts.... Short and very loose. White tank top ...I walk to the side yard... In the corner of my fence and the house....
... In the shadows....
I lean my back to the wall....
Squatted down slightly.... Legs spread slightly....
I rub.....
I look as I rub.....
Oghhhhh rubbinggggg
I need you.....oghhhhhhh
My thumbs hook the shorts and down they go.... Cool air hitting my pussy....
Then the silence is broken with Slap slap slap asi smack my pussy..... Why do I lost for this young man to catch me?
Am I a pervert....
Please share why you crave young girls...please...
I crave his muscles..... His youth..... Of how I melt when we flirt in the driveway....
I push 2 fingers in....ofghhhhhh
Rubbing and fingering.....I want to tell more....... It's so bad....
I'm so close....... I go to my knees.... Cool grass on my knees....I start to stick my fingers like it's a cock..... Grab my head.... Grab it and fuck my mouth
Oghhhhh explode in my mouth.

Cummingggggggggofghhhhhoghhhh
Fuckkkkk
Oghhhhhh

Writhing on my knees
Instant shame as I sit in my yard
Shorts around my ankles....
Tank top lifted above my breasts....

Please tell me I'm not the only pervert....I have so much more to say ......I think I'm not allowed here but he is wearing a rockledge HS shirt tonight.
Ughhhhh I'm probably staying too much

Back to my couch of shame.
-Berkley

 

[Cultivateddesires]

I want to catch you

 

[MorpheusLunar]

Why the divorce?

 

[Nottywolf]

I'm 44... My husband... Excuse me.... Soon to be ex is in the house....
I'm in my car....I sit on the driveway. 2 am.... In the dark.... Rubbing through the gym shorts....I have my Kik pulled up and streamed with Patrick on Kik.... Now I'm streaming but not showing my face....
I rub through the shorts. No panties... How in the chat doubt I'm real as they listen to my whimper.....
Then I flash my face.... Look of depravity....200+ men in the stream explode in chatter as they realize I'm real....I point the camera away again and the electricity in the stream is exploding as they listen to the squish squish sounds of my wet pussy.....
My seat slightly reclined as I look to the left....

There he is coming home late. He lives with his parents.....
He is in the next driveway over and talking on the phone....I see his face... His muscular arms and I push in...ughhhhh
Fuck I'm awful.... I'm more than twice his age.... Why am I doing this....I look over again and my mind races ....
I want to approach him but I sit in darkness.....
I keep taking risks....ughhhhh I pull out and wipe a streak of my juices on the window.....
I wasn't him standing there watching me!
I want his cock to thump the glass....
He walks inside.....I pause.....
I don't know why I did this....

...I turn my dome light off so morning will light up and I open my door. I carefully shut it.....

I tip toe to the front of the car... Goose bumps... In the 60s here in rockledge and I'm in blue running shorts.... Short and very loose. White tank top ...I walk to the side yard... In the corner of my fence and the house....
... In the shadows....
I lean my back to the wall....
Squatted down slightly.... Legs spread slightly....
I rub.....
I look as I rub.....
Oghhhhh rubbinggggg
I need you.....oghhhhhhh
My thumbs hook the shorts and down they go.... Cool air hitting my pussy....
Then the silence is broken with Slap slap slap asi smack my pussy..... Why do I lost for this young man to catch me?
Am I a pervert....
Please share why you crave young girls...please...
I crave his muscles..... His youth..... Of how I melt when we flirt in the driveway....
I push 2 fingers in....ofghhhhhh
Rubbing and fingering.....I want to tell more....... It's so bad....
I'm so close....... I go to my knees.... Cool grass on my knees....I start to stick my fingers like it's a cock..... Grab my head.... Grab it and fuck my mouth
Oghhhhh explode in my mouth.

Cummingggggggggofghhhhhoghhhh
Fuckkkkk
Oghhhhhh

Writhing on my knees
Instant shame as I sit in my yard
Shorts around my ankles....
Tank top lifted above my breasts....

Please tell me I'm not the only pervert....I have so much more to say ......I think I'm not allowed here but he is wearing a rockledge HS shirt tonight.
Ughhhhh I'm probably staying too much

Back to my couch of shame.
-Berkley

Dm me anytime to get those naughty thoughts out. I'm very discreet and married

 

[MorpheusLunar]

Control of what?

 

[latecomer91364]

TLDR - and probably bullshit.

Good luck, whatever you're trying to do!
(Don't really care)

 

[MorpheusLunar]

? TLDR?

 

[mickyp123]

yawn

 

[Dogma52]

? TLDR?

Too long, didn’t read

 

[MorpheusLunar]

Ahhhh but of course

 

[RipleNStllWtr]

I'm 44... My husband... Excuse me.... Soon to be ex is in the house....
I'm in my car....I sit on the driveway. 2 am.... In the dark.... Rubbing through the gym shorts....I have my Kik pulled up and streamed with Patrick on Kik.... Now I'm streaming but not showing my face....
I rub through the shorts. No panties... How in the chat doubt I'm real as they listen to my whimper.....
Then I flash my face.... Look of depravity....200+ men in the stream explode in chatter as they realize I'm real....I point the camera away again and the electricity in the stream is exploding as they listen to the squish squish sounds of my wet pussy.....
My seat slightly reclined as I look to the left....

There he is coming home late. He lives with his parents.....
He is in the next driveway over and talking on the phone....I see his face... His muscular arms and I push in...ughhhhh
Fuck I'm awful.... I'm more than twice his age.... Why am I doing this....I look over again and my mind races ....
I want to approach him but I sit in darkness.....
I keep taking risks....ughhhhh I pull out and wipe a streak of my juices on the window.....
I wasn't him standing there watching me!
I want his cock to thump the glass....
He walks inside.....I pause.....
I don't know why I did this....

...I turn my dome light off so morning will light up and I open my door. I carefully shut it.....

I tip toe to the front of the car... Goose bumps... In the 60s here in rockledge and I'm in blue running shorts.... Short and very loose. White tank top ...I walk to the side yard... In the corner of my fence and the house....
... In the shadows....
I lean my back to the wall....
Squatted down slightly.... Legs spread slightly....
I rub.....
I look as I rub.....
Oghhhhh rubbinggggg
I need you.....oghhhhhhh
My thumbs hook the shorts and down they go.... Cool air hitting my pussy....
Then the silence is broken with Slap slap slap asi smack my pussy..... Why do I lost for this young man to catch me?
Am I a pervert....
Please share why you crave young girls...please...
I crave his muscles..... His youth..... Of how I melt when we flirt in the driveway....
I push 2 fingers in....ofghhhhhh
Rubbing and fingering.....I want to tell more....... It's so bad....
I'm so close....... I go to my knees.... Cool grass on my knees....I start to stick my fingers like it's a cock..... Grab my head.... Grab it and fuck my mouth
Oghhhhh explode in my mouth.

Cummingggggggggofghhhhhoghhhh
Fuckkkkk
Oghhhhhh

Writhing on my knees
Instant shame as I sit in my yard
Shorts around my ankles....
Tank top lifted above my breasts....

Please tell me I'm not the only pervert....I have so much more to say ......I think I'm not allowed here but he is wearing a rockledge HS shirt tonight.
Ughhhhh I'm probably staying too much

Back to my couch of shame.
-Berkley

Fuck, damn, wow, holy crap, where is your soon to be ex's mind to lose you. You sound like a shit ton of crazy and fun at the same time. I just wish my wife was a 1/4 of your thoughts, desires and needs. Cant wait to hear more

 

[Mrtenant]

I'll play along.....

While sitting on the couch of shame, Sister May Katherine listens to your story and makes the *tich tich noise.

The Sister gets out her ruler and says palms out. You comply like you always do, and she slaps your palms 3 times really hard. It stings so badly even as it gets your juices flowing even more. The couch of shame is the best!

Looking at the Sister with tears in your eyes- did you see a momentary flash of lust in her eyes? Do you dare test her?

 

[Deepdesrp]

Wow I enjoyed reading that Cocoa

It came across as so personally naughty.
If it's not real - damn you've got a lovely filthy mind - write more.
If it is real - damn you've got a lovely filthy mind - write more..

Just my selfish wish

 

[flameinsidesoul]

I'm 44... My husband... Excuse me.... Soon to be ex is in the house....
I'm in my car....I sit on the driveway. 2 am.... In the dark.... Rubbing through the gym shorts....I have my Kik pulled up and streamed with Patrick on Kik.... Now I'm streaming but not showing my face....
I rub through the shorts. No panties... How in the chat doubt I'm real as they listen to my whimper.....
Then I flash my face.... Look of depravity....200+ men in the stream explode in chatter as they realize I'm real....I point the camera away again and the electricity in the stream is exploding as they listen to the squish squish sounds of my wet pussy.....
My seat slightly reclined as I look to the left....

There he is coming home late. He lives with his parents.....
He is in the next driveway over and talking on the phone....I see his face... His muscular arms and I push in...ughhhhh
Fuck I'm awful.... I'm more than twice his age.... Why am I doing this....I look over again and my mind races ....
I want to approach him but I sit in darkness.....
I keep taking risks....ughhhhh I pull out and wipe a streak of my juices on the window.....
I wasn't him standing there watching me!
I want his cock to thump the glass....
He walks inside.....I pause.....
I don't know why I did this....

...I turn my dome light off so morning will light up and I open my door. I carefully shut it.....

I tip toe to the front of the car... Goose bumps... In the 60s here in rockledge and I'm in blue running shorts.... Short and very loose. White tank top ...I walk to the side yard... In the corner of my fence and the house....
... In the shadows....
I lean my back to the wall....
Squatted down slightly.... Legs spread slightly....
I rub.....
I look as I rub.....
Oghhhhh rubbinggggg
I need you.....oghhhhhhh
My thumbs hook the shorts and down they go.... Cool air hitting my pussy....
Then the silence is broken with Slap slap slap asi smack my pussy..... Why do I lost for this young man to catch me?
Am I a pervert....
Please share why you crave young girls...please...
I crave his muscles..... His youth..... Of how I melt when we flirt in the driveway....
I push 2 fingers in....ofghhhhhh
Rubbing and fingering.....I want to tell more....... It's so bad....
I'm so close....... I go to my knees.... Cool grass on my knees....I start to stick my fingers like it's a cock..... Grab my head.... Grab it and fuck my mouth
Oghhhhh explode in my mouth.

Cummingggggggggofghhhhhoghhhh
Fuckkkkk
Oghhhhhh

Writhing on my knees
Instant shame as I sit in my yard
Shorts around my ankles....
Tank top lifted above my breasts....

Please tell me I'm not the only pervert....I have so much more to say ......I think I'm not allowed here but he is wearing a rockledge HS shirt tonight.
Ughhhhh I'm probably staying too much

Back to my couch of shame.
-Berkley

I'm going to respond differently than most here, because what you wrote isn't just a confession. it's a raw piece of storytelling that reveals something more complicated than "pervert" or "not a pervert."

Let's start here: you're in the middle of a divorce. You're sitting in your car at 2am while your soon-to-be ex is still in the house. You're streaming yourself to strangers, then you're in your yard, then you're on your knees in the grass. And through all of it, the thing you keep circling back to isn't just the young man next door, it's the risk of being seen.

You asked why you crave his muscles, his youth. But reading this, I think what you're actually craving is something else: being wanted without conditions. After what sounds like a marriage that's ending, after years of whatever led to this divorce, you're standing in the dark hoping someone, this young man, the 200+ men in the stream, someone, will look at you and just want you. No history. No baggage. No "ex" still in the house.

You called yourself a pervert. Twice. But what I see is a woman reclaiming her body after it probably felt like it belonged to someone else for a long time. Divorce does that, it leaves you standing in the rubble of "wife" and you have to figure out who you are when no one's watching. Or, in your case, when everyone's watching.

The thing about the high school shirt, you mentioned it like it was the detail that would condemn you. But here's what I notice: you're not actually with him. You're in your yard, alone, with your own imagination and your own fingers. The fantasy is doing something for you that reality might not be able to. It's giving you back a version of yourself that's desirable, reckless, alive.

The shame afterward? That's the old voice. The one that says good wives don't do this, good mothers don't, women your age don't. But you're not a wife anymore and you get to decide what "good" means now.

You asked if you're the only pervert. You're not. You're one of thousands of women who wake up one day and realize they've been playing a role for so long they forgot what their own desire sounds like. And then one night, at 2am, they find out.

Keep telling the story if it helps. Some of us are reading not for the spectacle, but for the woman underneath it, the one who just wants to be seen, finally, on her own terms.

 

[Southernscot21]

I'm 44... My husband... Excuse me.... Soon to be ex is in the house....
I'm in my car....I sit on the driveway. 2 am.... In the dark.... Rubbing through the gym shorts....I have my Kik pulled up and streamed with Patrick on Kik.... Now I'm streaming but not showing my face....
I rub through the shorts. No panties... How in the chat doubt I'm real as they listen to my whimper.....
Then I flash my face.... Look of depravity....200+ men in the stream explode in chatter as they realize I'm real....I point the camera away again and the electricity in the stream is exploding as they listen to the squish squish sounds of my wet pussy.....
My seat slightly reclined as I look to the left....

There he is coming home late. He lives with his parents.....
He is in the next driveway over and talking on the phone....I see his face... His muscular arms and I push in...ughhhhh
Fuck I'm awful.... I'm more than twice his age.... Why am I doing this....I look over again and my mind races ....
I want to approach him but I sit in darkness.....
I keep taking risks....ughhhhh I pull out and wipe a streak of my juices on the window.....
I wasn't him standing there watching me!
I want his cock to thump the glass....
He walks inside.....I pause.....
I don't know why I did this....

...I turn my dome light off so morning will light up and I open my door. I carefully shut it.....

I tip toe to the front of the car... Goose bumps... In the 60s here in rockledge and I'm in blue running shorts.... Short and very loose. White tank top ...I walk to the side yard... In the corner of my fence and the house....
... In the shadows....
I lean my back to the wall....
Squatted down slightly.... Legs spread slightly....
I rub.....
I look as I rub.....
Oghhhhh rubbinggggg
I need you.....oghhhhhhh
My thumbs hook the shorts and down they go.... Cool air hitting my pussy....
Then the silence is broken with Slap slap slap asi smack my pussy..... Why do I lost for this young man to catch me?
Am I a pervert....
Please share why you crave young girls...please...
I crave his muscles..... His youth..... Of how I melt when we flirt in the driveway....
I push 2 fingers in....ofghhhhhh
Rubbing and fingering.....I want to tell more....... It's so bad....
I'm so close....... I go to my knees.... Cool grass on my knees....I start to stick my fingers like it's a cock..... Grab my head.... Grab it and fuck my mouth
Oghhhhh explode in my mouth.

Cummingggggggggofghhhhhoghhhh
Fuckkkkk
Oghhhhhh

Writhing on my knees
Instant shame as I sit in my yard
Shorts around my ankles....
Tank top lifted above my breasts....

Please tell me I'm not the only pervert....I have so much more to say ......I think I'm not allowed here but he is wearing a rockledge HS shirt tonight.
Ughhhhh I'm probably staying too much

Back to my couch of shame.
-Berkley

Why aren’t you doing OF to help you pay for your own place? I would LOVE to see at least your body. Pm me sometime