I thought you people said my life couldnt get any worse!!!

[Wizard]

NH you know I did you ......but what you need right now is like others have said is to keep your shit CLEAN........I mean real clean.....do everthing they want go to church or what ever it takes ......fuck the drugs and friends and do what you have to do to make things right with your kid......Do what you have to do......I'm in your corner hoping for the best for you............

 

[Angelique]

I'm going to put my two cents in here, simply because I've lived through something very similar to what you're going through, Hunny.

Accusations are just that...accusations. They can come out of nowhere when people are desperate. In Ohio, all it takes is an "anonymous" phone call to Childrens Services Board to start the ball rolling...I've had it happen to me. And while I have no concrete proof of who DID call CSB on me, alleging that I sexually abused my daughter, my gut feeling is that it was my ex-husband (and anyone who knows me KNOWS how incredibly accurate my gut instinct is).

Since I've told this story before, I'll give you the short version now. One of my ex-husbands sons (now ages 15 and 17) as well as his stepson (he was age 7 at the time he was involved with my daughter, who was 4 at the time) have both been involved in inappropriate sexual behavior with my daughter. Charges were filed and the stepson attended counseling while his son was charged and convicted on two counts of rape (against two 6-year-old boys) and one cout of Gross Sexual Imposition. His older son was also sentenced to a sexual offenders program for an incident that did not involve my daughter. Oddly enough, 4 years ago when all this shit started, my ex-husband filed charges against me for allegedly sexually abusing my daughter. See the pattern here? My ex was (at that time) trying to pawn off his inability to supervise the children in his home on me...trying to make ME look like the irresponsible parent.

Of course, I had nothing to worry about, but I vividly recall the emotions I felt when my ex's attorney pointed the finger at me in court. I was angry, hurt, and very confused, so I can certainly relate to you on the emotional landslide that's hitting you.

What I did do, in order to get through the next four years of court battles (which aren't even over yet) is to maintain my composure. Points I had on my side are 1) I don't drink, 2) I don't do drugs, 3) no matter what's been said in court, I never EVER show my anger 4) I'm an upstanding citizen of the community with no prior criminal record and no run-ins with the law.

Of those four, I can honestly say that my ability to NOT show negative emotion in court, or in front of anyone of authority (not even in front of my ex) was probably the BEST thing I could've done. I'm not saying I sat stone-faced in court...certainly tears were shed, but never anger or frustration. And Hunny, that's one thing that WILL work to your advantage, should this issue end up in court.

Wanna know the craziest part of it all? The two times my daughter was sexually involved with these two boys, CSB unsubstantiated the case...even with all of the children agreeing with what happened, they still wouldn't acknowledge that it was a problem...so my daughter was legally allowed back into my ex's house. With that much proof, they never removed her, nor did they impose supervised visitation. I don't know how your state works, but if I couldn't get CSB to work with me under my circumstances, and you haven't sexually abused your daughter, my guess is that your case will also be unsubstantiated....mind you, that's just my opinion based on the information you've provided here.

I do agree with a lot of what's been said on this thread...maybe not all of it, but certainly the recommendations that have been given. I assure you, if you play your cards right and don't give them anything to use against you, it'll all work out in the end. It might take some time...hell, it's taken me four years and I'm still not done with it, but we're getting there, slowly but surely.

So much for keeping this short. I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. Keep your head up and remain calm (I know, easier said than done). *hugs*

 

[Shelby]

NH - You have received opinion after opinion about keeping your nose clean of this site. But you've been on it all day. Shouldn't your time & efforts be elsewhere? I don't know you at all, but trying to fight for your Snicker...I think everyone is trying to help you there. It's time NH, for you to stand, look in the mirror and come out clean and fighting.

 

[Adoratrice]

As much as I hate to do it ....I would like to take this time to point out that I ..thats right..lil' ol' know nothin'me.....tried to say all this ohhh about 2 months ago and was quickly put in my place.

soooooooo

I told ya so.

 

[Guest]

That's it, NH, stay defensive! By choosing to respond only to specific pieces of your own stories and not the overall advice you're receiving, you think you can ensure everyone's pity for your alleged situation.

Aren't you beginning to realize that those folks who stil believe you're telling the truth are tiring of your denial and insistence on keeping your crisis lifestyle alive?

Wake up and smell the coffee before no one is willing to help anymore. Did you ever hear the story of the boy who cried wolf? Madame Pandora has your number and said it straight. Listen for a change.