I Told a Friend

[aarons_goddess2003]

CJ's doing great... had a blast this weekend. Hope you all did too.

Good to know

 

[RadicalFlower]

hello Everyone!!..i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving...and i love your sig Goddess aint that the truth ..i so agree

 

[CJontherocks]

hello Everyone!!..i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving...and i love your sig Goddess aint that the truth ..i so agree

A really great Thanksgiving, spent with family and friends. I had such a nice day! Hope yours was as nice.

 

[bi_asian_guy]

*****

 

[Raimondin]

For the first time in my entire life I told a friend, face-to-face, I am bisexual. This is a huge step for me. A month ago, I denied my sexuality, thinking just because I had sex with men (yes, plural) in the past, it was only sex and not necessarily bisexuality. The truth is, I liked it a lot and I'd do it again. In fact, what I had with men previously wasn't enough... just monkey sex, I mean... and I'd like a little more intimacy and touching and... well, you know.

And tonight, I told a woman who has been my friend for years that I am bisexual. I feel really great about that. One less person to hide from, to feel dishonest with. One more person with whom I can totally be myself.

I don't really expect any response... I am trying to overcome my need for acceptance from others, after all. And I'm not all proud of myself and jumping for joy thinking this is a true "coming out" story because the fact is, I'm still not ready to tell a whole lot of people. For now, I'm coming out one person at a time.

I just needed to express this. Such a great feeling!

Truly moving! Congrats! It gets easier & easier each time, at least that's what it was like for me, coming out into the open. In the same way you stated, "one person at a time." Not that I wasn't already "out", but actually *telling it* to someone suddenly made me feel like part of the human race for the first time...but I think the most important "acceptance" is not so much from others, but your *own* acceptance first...I know it sounds corny, and hope I'm not sounding 'sermon-like' here, but I think that's the biggest hurdle...

 

[CJontherocks]

Re: Re: I Told a Friend

Truly moving! Congrats! It gets easier & easier each time, at least that's what it was like for me, coming out into the open. In the same way you stated, "one person at a time." Not that I wasn't already "out", but actually *telling it* to someone suddenly made me feel like part of the human race for the first time...but I think the most important "acceptance" is not so much from others, but your *own* acceptance first...I know it sounds corny, and hope I'm not sounding 'sermon-like' here, but I think that's the biggest hurdle...

That's exactly how I felt. It took me a long time to actually give it some intelligent thought but once I did, it became very clear. I enjoyed a level of security thinking I wasn't bi (my excuses were many and covered all the angles). But I am more comfortable now that I can accept my sexuality for what it is. It actually makes me feel good to be able to say I am bisexual, if only to myself. And to tell someone else, it was like I was truly being honest with that person. That's a great feeling.

Now, if only I had a bisexual girlfriend who was willing to play around... we'll have to see where I am on Santa's list.

 

[CJontherocks]

Re: Re: I Told a Friend

CJ - congratulations on coming clean (ahem) with yourself primarily and now some select friends, and eventually maybe some family.

The first friend I ever felt totally comfortable discussing my bisexuality with was my female college roommate who had revealed to me that she was gay. When I realized how much she trusted me to tell me this about herself I felt the need to show the same faith in her. Also somewhat selfishly I knew I'd found someone that I could finally tell about my sexuality.

She's been supportive ever since, and it's been 15 years now. We still get a guffaw when we instant message - our mutual signoff is 'bi'. ;-)

Yeah... I wish I could look up some old friends and talk about this stuff. I was so much closer to people back then. Half my problem is, I'm so old and jaded now I don't let people get close enough to touch my soul. I'm really working on that also. That's so cool you have someone like that.

 

[Raimondin]

Re: Re: Re: I Told a Friend

That's exactly how I felt. It took me a long time to actually give it some intelligent thought but once I did, it became very clear. I enjoyed a level of security thinking I wasn't bi (my excuses were many and covered all the angles). But I am more comfortable now that I can accept my sexuality for what it is. It actually makes me feel good to be able to say I am bisexual, if only to myself. And to tell someone else, it was like I was truly being honest with that person. That's a great feeling.

Now, if only I had a bisexual girlfriend who was willing to play around... we'll have to see where I am on Santa's list.

Yes, it's the greatest feeling in the world! And yes, maybe now it's time to "post" yourself on old St. Nicks list...and "don your 'bi' apparel"!

 

[jacuzzigal]

Re: Re: Re: I Told a Friend

Yeah... I wish I could look up some old friends and talk about this stuff. I was so much closer to people back then. Half my problem is, I'm so old and jaded now I don't let people get close enough to touch my soul. I'm really working on that also. That's so cool you have someone like that.

CJ, first, even though I'm a little late coming to the discussion, congrats on being able to be more open about this with people around you. While I have not struggled with telling people my sexual identity, I have struggled with telling people about my identity in other areas - and I know that it's so freeing to be able to share that and really connect on a deeper level, being really honest. Interestingly, I realized as I started being honest that like you, I was - well, not jaded, but more... detached - from people because I wasn't being as honest. My connections to both friends and family have deepened with honesty and I've felt much more free to let people get close enough to touch my heart and soul because I'm much more free myself. Consequently I feel like my relationships and my life are richer and fuller - and I feel a lot more peace in my life. I hope you find that peace as well.

 

[kristycross]

Comming out!

Mine's a different story. I was married for almost 15 years and a homophobic asshole. When I did have my first gay experience it was so much different then I thought it would be. The I got into crossdressing and playing more. Finally after being depressed from hiding my bi feelings I let my wife find pictures of me on my computer. She through me out! Hold on now, she also told my family and tried to tell my friends. My family has accepted me as if nothing has changed and my sister even went with me to a drag show! Finally I confirmed to my two closest friends this summer, we've known each other since 10 years old. We went crabbing the next day. They don't have to know the details but it has free'd me to live an open life and not hide anymore! I have many friends who accept me for who I am, I try to be a nice caring person thats fun and open! Never Lie! Never Lie! And don't be afraid, if they are really your friends they will accept you for being you!
Kristy....aka Mark