If you came with a warning label 🏷

[AmberLGreen]

Do I get a discount? Cripple special?

If you manage to cripple me, you get it for free

 

[_Ritch_]

If you manage to cripple me, you get it for free

*Goes shopping to B&Q looking for a lumphammer.*

If I can't get it done one way, there's always another.

 

[AmberLGreen]

*Goes shopping to B&Q looking for a lumphammer.*

If I can't get it done one way, there's always another.

Is it wrong that I am getting turned on by the thought of you dressing up as Kathy Bates

 

[_Ritch_]

Is it wrong that I am getting turned on by the thought of you dressing up as Kathy Bates

Fuck no. Someone once said I was a misery. If only they knew!

Say Goodbye to your kneecaps.
Oops, this has taken a dark turn. I do apologise!

 

[AmberLGreen]

Fuck no. Someone once said I was a misery. If only they knew!

Say Goodbye to your kneecaps.
Oops, this has taken a dark turn. I do apologise!

No need to apologise. Here, have a tissue. Accidents happen

 

[_Ritch_]

No need to apologise. Here, have a tissue. Accidents happen

I swear it's never happened to me before!

 

[LadyLascivious1]

NSFW

 

[spankableBelle]

Will probably choose coffee over you because coffee always understands...

 

[cubbyfire04]

Heads up... He tells great stories, but he takes for-fucking-ever to tell them!

 

[John_Q_Public]

I’m pretty sure one has already been created for me.

Warning
Not intended for use with some threads and/or people. Contains sarcasm and other characteristics which may cause strong emotional reactions, confusion, anger and/or hot-flashes (same as with placebo). If symptoms last more than 24 hours or increase, please send a message for clarification and/or resolution (recommended) or discontinue use using the ignore function on this site.

You will experience occasional run-on sentences, punctuation errors, grammar issues, misspellings and other problems with the English language. We assure you, this is completely normal and simply part of the experience. Note: errors tend increase with alcohol usage.

Safe for recreational use. Not intended as a life preserver.

 

[Dalelaw2164]

Warning:
This Pleasure Model Series 4000 has hidden pleasure response triggers which, if pulled inadvertently, will find the unsuspecting user flat on her back several hours later with stars in her eyes.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Warning: will steal all your pills from medicine cabinet after bang sesh.

 

[EarlyDawn1973]

Warning: Do not approach in the morning until l have had at least 2 cups of coffee.

 

[Wordsworth]

Warning: I will enable and support your more risky rationalizations

 

[IttyBittyLulu]

Beep beep Warning: this munchkin is very bubbly, glitter might get on you, you will laugh until your tummy hurts and you will also smile until your face hurts. Proceed at your own risk

 

[fisherfella]

"Slippery when wet"...

 

[crazychemgirl]

A bit crazy

 

[crazychemgirl]

No words before coffee unless you want a dirty look in return

 

[SeraphNocturne]

“Fuck around, find out.”

Or…

“Please do not pet or tease the demon.”

 

[NRJLIVES4ever]

Will probably talk at length about Black Sabbath Vol. 4. Also jizzes like a motherfucker.

 

[Kat73]

Queen of TMI and inappropriate comments.

 

[Dalelaw2164]

There’s a hole in my head where the rain gets in…

 

[Kat73]

Separate Ways - Journey

 

[Nevyn_Black]

"Kill it with Fire"

 

[VoraciousValue]

Queen of TMI and inappropriate comments.

To me, that's a feature, not a bug.