Infidelity... is it such a dirty word?

[Savage Kitten]

I'm kinda curious and am open to all opinions and comments.

So.. What do you think about infidelity? Have you ever participated? Are there any excuses that make it 'not so bad' or even "OK"?

********

I've been on both sides of the fence. My ex-hubby cheated on me. I don't really think he had any long standing affairs, I think it was more like spontanious cheating. When he came clean it hurt like hell... but it also liberated me. Since our divorce, I have come to understand why (but not forgive) he did what he did. I except part of the blame for him straying.

So, now, I find myself in a "situation" (as I call it) with a married man. I know I can never be a priority in his life, and I know that I have no right to any of his time. I have no plans of ever asking him to leave his wife..

It's hard to explain.... I enjoy giving him what 'she' won't or can't. It makes me feel good to make him feel good. Our time together is precious to me and I have no plans of giving him up anytime soon.

Morals tell me its not right, but my mind reasons if she was doing her part at home and in the bedroom then he wouldn't have had the need for me in the first place. For this reason, I don't feel guilty at all...

Back to my question.... What do you think about infidelity?

 

[Guest]

should go on jerry springer and duke it out with her.
God bless America.

 

[Ravenloft]

Hiya Savage, so... Is this your return? Or just visiting for the night?

 

[Savage Kitten]

lol

should go on jerry springer and duke it out with her.
God bless America.

but what's to fight over? as I stated before.. I don't want to take him from her... just borrow him every now and then *shrugs*

 

[Savage Kitten]

hi hun

Hiya Savage, so... Is this your return? Or just visiting for the night?

I've been here off and on... mostly lurking haven't been able to find a nook for my foot... am trying to get into a thread on the srp board.. i could never leave my Lit friends n family forever *hugz*

missed u... u still liking them veggie tails?? hehe

 

[Xander]

Okay, let me get this out first. I have both cheated on gf and has been cheated on earlier in my life.

when that's said my views are like this. I have serious problems forgiving cheating, and I never expect anyone to forgive me for the same.

Example: I have cheated, I knew it was wrong and there was no excuse for it. I loved the girl I was dating. But as I see it, if I can do it once, I can do it again. And I'll never put anyone through that. The relationship ended there.

Example: I was cheated on. And it literally destroyed my life. And I could not forgive it. The relationship ended there.

Point to this. If you're gonna do it, on one side or the other. Be prepared to reap the wind. It'll always get back at you, one way or the other. Just trust me on that one.

 

[Savage Kitten]

I agree Xander

It's been 3yrs since our seperation and 2yrs since our divorce. In this time I still haven't had a real boyfriend. I think, seeing this man that is married is kinda like a safety net for me. I don't think I am ready to date or even try to commit to a relationship yet. and I am afraid if I do try to rush and get into that I will ending up hurting him, to keep from getting hurt myself.

 

[Ravenloft]

Savage you know I always liked you right?

Just don't let this wife get ahold of you...

*Thinking*

Actually... I think you could take her down... Wait... Does she lift weights? No? Okay... Someone fill a ring with mud!

*Lifting up a rather skimpy bathing suit and looking at Savage.*

Ya up for it champ? Heheh!

*Shyly squiggling my foot on the ground and grinning inocently.* If ya email me I'll be real nice to you... Tee hee!

 

[Savage Kitten]

shyly????? hehehe

hey Raven... this is gonna come as a big suprise but... you got mail!!! hehehe

 

[Ravenloft]

I came, I saw... I replied!

Damn... It sounded so much better in Ghostbusters...

 

[Xander]

Re: I agree Xander

It's been 3yrs since our seperation and 2yrs since our divorce. In this time I still haven't had a real boyfriend. I think, seeing this man that is married is kinda like a safety net for me. I don't think I am ready to date or even try to commit to a relationship yet. and I am afraid if I do try to rush and get into that I will ending up hurting him, to keep from getting hurt myself.

Which is all good and fine SK. But is it really worth doing it. Yeah I know there is a certain excitement about doing that. And yeah the sex is probaly real good. But for you. Is it really worth it all??
I can definately understand the "prevent myself from getting hurt" part. No doubt about that. Believe me. I understand that part more than anything else.
Now I may just be weird in that sense. But honestly, if I, today run into a woman that is attached. I honestly run the fuck the other way. She may be fine, she may be all that. But hell no. I ain't doing it.
I'd rather go without.

 

[Savage Kitten]

Re: Re: I agree Xander

[QUOTE But honestly, if I, today run into a woman that is attached. I honestly run the fuck the other way. She may be fine, she may be all that. But hell no. I ain't doing it.
I'd rather go without.

I've said that to myself also... I KNOW I deserve more... and that I want to be a priority to a man... but I also know that ache to hold someone in my arms... to make love to him.. to his body.. to pamper him.. and with this guy I am with now... I can do that.. and then send him home to his wife so she can cook and clean for him... wash his dirty clothes.. argue about bills etc etc

the only thing i regret about this situation is that our time is limited and so very rare

 

[Savage Kitten]

I came, I saw... I replied!

Damn... It sounded so much better in Ghostbusters...

who needs da ghostbusters when ya gotta a kitty like me around?? hehe

so... i've replied twice to your one reply... i'd say you were slackin a bit hahaha

 

[Xander]

Re: Re: Re: I agree Xander

I've said that to myself also... I KNOW I deserve more... and that I want to be a priority to a man... but I also know that ache to hold someone in my arms... to make love to him.. to his body.. to pamper him.. and with this guy I am with now... I can do that.. and then send him home to his wife so she can cook and clean for him... wash his dirty clothes.. argue about bills etc etc

the only thing i regret about this situation is that our time is limited and so very rare

Yes I know that feeling, and especially lately I've had that...craving more than I've ever had before. but on that issue I guess you and I are different SK.
Because I wont have it from an attached woman. I'd rather go without. I know myself well enough to know how my reaction is. Today I'm unable to have any kind of cuddling or sexual intimincy with anyone, that I do not feel something for. So, if I hitch up with someone who is attached. I automatically set myself up to be hurt. Now I usually get hurt anyway. But I'd rather it was someone I had a relationship with as gf/bf.
That, and I personally hate all that cloak and Dagger stuff. It's just one of those things that make me go..."yeah well SEE YA!!"
Now I'm not saying what you, or anyone else should do. Whatever floats your boat. I'm only pointing out what my views and reactions has been and would be.
This is no attack on you SK

 

[Savage Kitten]

I know Xander

I appreciate your input.

I tell myself that I won't 'fall' for this man... that I won't let myself get hurt. But, I can already tell that having sex with him is different... feels different.. than is does with other people... and I think that is because I do care for him.

I'm on this ride until the train stops and I am willing to pay the fair.. no matter how high... but, when it does finally stop... I won't be getting back on it again.. It's like you said Xander.. it's a no win situation

**hugz**

 

[Xander]

Good SK

Well as long as you're aware of that, and is willing to pay the price for it. I guess you're all set SK.
I any case good luck. And it's good to see you're back

 

[Savage Kitten]

Thank you hun

Nice to see you still around....

btw, I still got the patent on those XanderPops

 

[Xander]

Oh God...the xanderpops LOL
yes I'm still aorund SK, only thing that has changed is that I have relocated to a much larger country than the one I was in before. Otherwise I've been here all the time

 

[Ravenloft]

who needs da ghostbusters when ya gotta a kitty like me around?? hehe

so... i've replied twice to your one reply... i'd say you were slackin a bit hahaha

Nuh uh! I'm not slacking! I replied to them! Replied to them all!!! Bwahahaha!!!

Its your turn now oh savage one!

XanderPops? Are you holding out on me or something?

I mean come on Nic! I told you my "Guerilla Ass" story, and my "Jesus Christ" story... Where's the love man? Where's the love?!

 

[Angel]

Hey I wanna Xanderpop!

 

[JadedHeart]

Savage Kitten, this is none of my business, but you asked for opinions. I actually just have a couple of questions. Do you remember how you felt when you found out your husband was cheating on you? And would you honestly wish that feeling on anyone else? I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I wondered if you had considered how his wife will feel when she finds out, and she will find out, they always do! Whatever decision you make, I hope you find the happiness you're looking for.

 

[cheekyminx]

I had an affair with a married man. His wife found out, but she was having an affair with a younger man at the time. But what I will never forget were the children. The looks on the faces of his 2 little girls. They idolised their father. I felt like ... well skum, so I ended it. Oh, they got their marriage back together, and are coming up for their 20th anniversary. I know I would never do it again.

 

[Gingersnap]

I had a boyfriend that cheated on me and even though I didn't really love him anymore it hurt. I think it is the way he took the easy way out rather then tell me the truth as if I did not deserve that simple sign of respect. Some people can cheat and lie and get away with it. Most people cannot without paying a big price. Namely their peace of mind. Indeed he set it up so he would get caught and what a small mean thing to do to his partner in the affair. I do not blame her I do not hate her or him. I say what I said to him. If you want to run around do so but give me the choice to stay with you or not. I think you would have liked to have that choice too. I hope your heart heals soon Savage Kitten and you find the love you very much deserve.

[Edited by Gingersnap on 01-27-2001 at 04:26 PM]

 

[SGTBIGDOG420]

hi every one i was just shifting through some old posts and found this one and i like the topic so i wanted to put my two cents into it. i used to date only married women much for the same reason sk is doing what shes doing as a safty net is it wrong? no not at all he has to want to be with her for her to have the oppertunity. as a married man (and i dont speake for all men) somtimes a little somone different is a good thing. have i cheated on my wife? yes but only with one person. so i say go for it, i'll bring the strawberries.