Interesting video - 8 Tips for Writing Sex Scenes

[TheLobster]

But having him get introspective while ploughing some girl from behind seems to fit his character as developed in the original series.

To take some some less important sex scene (incl. masturbation) and make the character go through an internal monologue, or even just have the narrator do a bit of simultaneous exposition, is something I'm guilty of doing quite often. No one has complained as of yet that I'm "ruining" a good scene, so I'm going to continue doing it

 

[Britva415]

What I appreciate about the first example is that it starts the sex scene in media res which is a novel concept to me - I've always developed to the sex play by play. This a nice technique to consider.

I've done this twice. Sort of. When I've done it, it's a bit more like a flash-forward, only lasts a couple of paragraphs, then the story rewinds to a real beginning and shows how they got to the sex scene.

The sex scene isn't the end of the story either, so, it has that "in media res" flavor where you find out where the scene and the rest of the story go, afterwards, too.

It seemed to me like a good way to set the hook early on, when the story might have a lot of plot, characterization, and other build-up before the sexy scene comes.

 

[Mastered_again]

We fucked. We climaxed. The end.
Feel free to elaborate.

 

[mildlyaroused]

I've found several, though it depends on what you mean by 'concrete'. They're necessarily advising on something general, a work that is only concrete to you.

Some that I subscribe to (in a vaguely defined order of quality)

Wrestling with Words
Film Courage
Hello Future Me
Brandon McNulty
Jenna Moreci
Brandon Sanderson
Alexa Donne
Hanna Lee Kidder

Hello Future Me is a really good one. I'll have to check some of those other ones out

I've also always liked "Lessons from the Screenplay", which is aimed as you might guess towards screenwriters. It still has really useful advice in terms of narrative: symbolism, pacing, character, etc, etc. Though they kind of stopped uploading in the past few years.

 

[intim8]

Hello Future Me is a really good one. I'll have to check some of those other ones out

I've also always liked "Lessons from the Screenplay", which is aimed as you might guess towards screenwriters. It still has really useful advice in terms of narrative: symbolism, pacing, character, etc, etc. Though they kind of stopped uploading in the past few years.

"Film Courage" is the same way. It's interviews with actual, successful and well known screenwriters, and it's mostly about the writing, not the filming.

 

[bestkeptsecret678]

cryptoclitologist

Does that mean that the job is only paid in BitCoin?

 

[Bramblethorn]

Does that mean that the job is only paid in BitCoin?

It's on the cockblockchain.

 

[Bramblethorn]

"Don't write a sex scene, write your characters having sex" and "If you can copy and paste any character into the [sex] scene and it still reads the same, it's probably too generic" are things I live by.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I've found several, though it depends on what you mean by 'concrete'. They're necessarily advising on something general, a work that is only concrete to you.

Some that I subscribe to (in a vaguely defined order of quality)

Wrestling with Words
Film Courage
Hello Future Me
Brandon McNulty
Jenna Moreci
Brandon Sanderson
Alexa Donne
Hanna Lee Kidder

Of these, I really like the way Brandon Sanderson lectures on writing (while not having gotten round to actually reading any of his books). I've been watching Jenna Moreci recently (how I got recommended the video in the OP) but I find snark more tolerable if you're actually funny with it and her points for the most part are fine if a bit shallow. Alexa Donne is more personable and generally fairly good. I'll have to check out some of the others.

 

[williepeter]

Yay, eight replies...oh right, AH, darn it.

hot golden story

 

[TheRedChamber]

hot golden story

Sorry, I don't get it...?

 

[StillStunned]

"Don't write a sex scene, write your characters having sex" and "If you can copy and paste any character into the [sex] scene and it still reads the same, it's probably too generic" are things I live by.

Yeah, but then the first sex scene she quotes as being very good is just generic "I did this, I did that". All activity, no thoughts or feelings. No use of the senses.

I'll admit to not having watched the entire video, but I reckon that most of us Lit writers, who actually write sex scenes repeatedly, and make an effort to incorporate them organically into our stories, have very little to learn from her. And quite a bit we could teach.

 

[TheLobster]

I finally watched it, and I think the main issue with some of her advice is that it doesn't necessarily pertains to erotica, at least not fully. It is meant for regular fiction, preferably long-form, where a sex scene can indeed be used primarily to advance the plot and/or develop characters, with the secondary objective of providing some titillation. It is a spectrum, of course, but I'd say that most works published here put a larger emphasis on the latter than what she says a mainstream author would do.

Each one of her rules can thus be argued against rather convincingly:

1. Why's it there? Because it's hot, duh. Sometimes it's the only reason there even is a story! Of course, the longer and more meaningful the plot is, the more applicable this advice becomes.
2. Know what you're talking about. Well, yes. But also know the erotica conventions. A "D-cup" is not really a D-cup; it just means large breasts. It can be hot to exaggerate penis sizes by an inch or two. And there are some genre-specific conventions.
3. Make it character-centric. This assumes you have fleshed-out characters that you can center the scene around; not necessarily a given But even in larger works, it's not uncommon to include gratuitous sex before or after the "plot-conscious" event. The typical setup of "we were horny so we fucked, but now we can do it slowly and passionately" comes to mind.
4. Pay attention to tone. She kind of obsesses over single words and ascribes more meaning to them than IMO most erotica writers would. Digging fingers into flesh is not "aggressive" outside of maybe some Romance entries. Again, conventions.
5. No play-by-play. IKEA Erotica is of course a thing, but you have to give reader something to, ahem, work with. Not everyone can jerk off to character development
6. The rest is just more quibbling about words which again seems specific to mainstream fiction or perhaps the Romance category.

I still recommend watching it, though, if only to see if you agree with the points above.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Yeah, but then the first sex scene she quotes as being very good is just generic "I did this, I did that". All activity, no thoughts or feelings. No use of the senses.

That's not true.

"... she rocked shamelessly against my palm." <- emotion
"The hallway floor is so cold against my back and she shivers in my hands ..." <- sensations
"Her hands slide up over my ribs, over my breasts, cold fingers pressing into my skin." <- sensations
"I wince as her teeth drag over a nipple ..." <-sensation
"It wasn't slow she came for. I know." <- inner thought
"... the way she'd stepped through the door with the snow ..." <- metaphor, also inner thought
"She hisses, arching up off the cold floor ..." <- sensation
"The crisscrossed lines of the hallway tiles are printed on her knees and I dig my thumbs into the temporary grooves in her skin, pressing down and out." <- vivid description and sensation
"... a palm slapping to the floor beside her ..." <- sensory detail
"... nails scraping my scalp hard enough to sting even when they're gone." <- sensation
"In the bold fluorescent light of the hallway, she looks like she did in the park, with a coffee in her hand and her breath misting away." <- reminiscence, inner thought
"... where I am teeth tongue and shoulders pressed to the backs of her thighs." <- reverse personification metaphor

Almost every line has something more than just actions.

 

[CandaulistScribe]

This is a great resource! Bookmarked! Thanks for sharing it!

 

[pink_silk_glove]

Why's it there? Because it's hot, duh. Sometimes it's the only reason there even is a story! Of course, the longer and more meaningful the plot is, the more applicable this advice becomes.

But that won't make your sex scene stand out. Most of the stories on lit don't give a fuck about motive. Why? The characters are horny. What more motive do you need? Fine, keep writing generic boring smut the same as everyone else. Want to be a better writer writing better scenes? Get creative with the motive (and no, not blackmail or late with the rent). Any schmuck can stick tab A into slot B because just they're horny.

Know what you're talking about. Well, yes. But also know the erotica conventions. A "D-cup" is not really a D-cup; it just means large breasts. It can be hot to exaggerate penis sizes by an inch or two. And there are some genre-specific conventions.

Flat out no. Cup size is an eyeroll to any but the basest of readers. As for exaggerated bodies, fetishizing is usually just the lazy way to get around a lack of motive or general sexiness.

Make it character-centric. This assumes you have fleshed-out characters that you can center the scene around; not necessarily a given

Again, characters that are just horny sex vessel are fucking boring, except for the basest of basest fap readers. Which is fine, but if you want to write better, you'd be wise to add more depth. Two more people that I don't give a fuck about fucking? I'll pass, thanks.

Pay attention to tone. She kind of obsesses over single words and ascribes more meaning to them than IMO most erotica writers would.

Word choice is massively important in any kind of serious prose. Overlook it at your own peril. Often a story can live or die on it's tone (or voice) alone. In fact, voicing might be the most fun part for most writers. Why should she not obsess over it? Literature is her job after all. If tone is an afterthought for you, continue enjoying being a hobby writer turning out pedestrian scenes.

 

[StillStunned]

That's not true.

"... she rocked shamelessly against my palm." <- emotion
"The hallway floor is so cold against my back and she shivers in my hands ..." <- sensations
"Her hands slide up over my ribs, over my breasts, cold fingers pressing into my skin." <- sensations
"I wince as her teeth drag over a nipple ..." <-sensation
"It wasn't slow she came for. I know." <- inner thought
"... the way she'd stepped through the door with the snow ..." <- metaphor, also inner thought
"She hisses, arching up off the cold floor ..." <- sensation
"The crisscrossed lines of the hallway tiles are printed on her knees and I dig my thumbs into the temporary grooves in her skin, pressing down and out." <- vivid description and sensation
"... a palm slapping to the floor beside her ..." <- sensory detail
"... nails scraping my scalp hard enough to sting even when they're gone." <- sensation
"In the bold fluorescent light of the hallway, she looks like she did in the park, with a coffee in her hand and her breath misting away." <- reminiscence, inner thought
"... where I am teeth tongue and shoulders pressed to the backs of her thighs." <- reverse personification metaphor

Almost every line has something more than just actions.

No, sorry, it's still flat. It's someone writing by rote. It feels like the author isn't comfortable placing themselves in the scene. Sure, there are more sensory details, but nothing about how it affects the narrator - and that's what makes it personal. There's no emotional feedback, nothing to engage the reader. The narrator could just as well be playing a VR game.

 

[StillStunned]

Again, characters that are just horny sex vessel are fucking boring, except for the basest of basest fap readers. Which is fine, but if you want to write better, you'd be wise to add more depth. Two more people that I don't give a fuck about fucking? I'll pass, thanks.

Sorry, "basest of basest fap readers"? You might have a particular preference, but don't think that that makes you better than others who like their stories to centre on the sex, not the character. Or the authors who write the stories.

"Better" writing needs "depth"? In erotica? Absolute nonsense. If you can write a story that excites the reader without depth of character or storytelling, that's just as much of an accomplishment. Again, it might not be what you look for in erotica, but you're just one person with one opinion. There are thousands of authors and hundreds of thousands of readers on Lit, and their opinions are just as valid as yours.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

but don't think that that makes you better than others who like their stories to centre on the sex, not the character.

I never said that. Remember that the video is about "writing better sex scenes". You can keep writing the same fap scenes over and over and get your red H from the fap crowd and never get better. No problem.

"Better" writing needs "depth"? In erotica? Absolute nonsense.

Continue hacking.

 

[StillStunned]

I never said that. Remember that the video is about "writing better sex scenes". You can keep writing the same fap scenes over and over and get your red H from the fap crowd and never get better. No problem.



Continue hacking.

You refer to "the basest of basest fap readers" and "the fap crowd", and you're saying you're not looking down on them? And whatever your pretentions, you're just an anonymous writer posting stories here on Lit, the same as everyone else.

 

[pink_silk_glove]

You refer to "the basest of basest fap readers" and "the fap crowd", and you're saying you're not looking down on them? And whatever your pretentions, you're just an anonymous writer posting stories here on Lit, the same as everyone else.

No I am not looking down on them as much as you want me to. We all know that there are readers who read at different levels. I'm the one person here who really does not give one blue fuck about the scores, so no I do not look down on any of the readers, unlike those of you who bitch about getting downvoted by idiot readers who don't know a damn thing.

 

[Bamagan]

Sorry, "basest of basest fap readers"? You might have a particular preference, but don't think that that makes you better than others who like their stories to centre on the sex, not the character. Or the authors who write the stories.

"Better" writing needs "depth"? In erotica? Absolute nonsense. If you can write a story that excites the reader without depth of character or storytelling, that's just as much of an accomplishment. Again, it might not be what you look for in erotica, but you're just one person with one opinion. There are thousands of authors and hundreds of thousands of readers on Lit, and their opinions are just as valid as yours.

102,493 authors, according to the site, and 600,975 stories, as of whenever their count last updated.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Yeah, but then the first sex scene she quotes as being very good is just generic "I did this, I did that". All activity, no thoughts or feelings. No use of the senses.

This is simply not true. I'm not a reader who pays close attention to description, as a rule. I probably won't remember a characters' eye or hair colour from one scene to the next, unless it's somehow tied up with plot stuff. But I remembered the sensory stuff in this story that @pink_silk_glove has quoted, things like the tile imprints and the "cold against my back", because they support the characterisation of that scene.

Ideally I'd be reading the lead-up to that scene, but since that's not an option I'm taking the presenter at her word that the story has already established that the protagonist in this story is a booty call for this woman, and "insecure and uncomfortable about it but she doesn't want to make waves".

The sensory aspects of this scene aren't accidental; just about every sense impression feeds into that mood one way or another. These people are accepting discomfort - the cold, the hard floor, the nail marks that will sting after she's gone - for the sake of that physical encounter. (Not that cold and fingernails can't be pleasurable in themselves, but it's not coming across that way here.) The light is fluorescent, something generally associated with cold/harsh/clinical moods. "I am teeth tongue and shoulders" - the protagonist is reduced to their physicality.

It's not the most arousing of scenes but that's not the point here. It's describing somebody who is caught up in something unfulfilling. Reading that scene even without the context given by the presenter, it's obvious that this relationship is far more physical than romantic; I can see that the protag is more likely to be feeling lonely and discontent than happy and relaxed after this scene, and barring some huge epiphany, these two characters are not going to end up riding into the sunset together.

Your emotional lack-of-reaction to the scene is valid - if it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for you - but it's not universal. For me, I'd be interested in reading more of that story to see where it went. (As vs. the other sex scene she presents, which would've been tossed onto my DNF pile within a couple of paragraphs.)

I'll admit to not having watched the entire video, but I reckon that most of us Lit writers, who actually write sex scenes repeatedly, and make an effort to incorporate them organically into our stories, have very little to learn from her.

IME, "writing sex scenes repeatedly" is part of why so many of them do feel generic here. We regularly get new authors here asking how much sex they need to put in each chapter, and when people are writing sex scenes purely to meet that imaginary KPI it's hard for them to be anything but generic.

Some do make an attempt to incorporate them organically. OTOH, I've seen experienced writers here talk with pride about how they took sex scenes originally written for one situation with a particular set of characters and spliced it into a different story with entirely different characters, who should by all rights have been feeling different things and expressing them differently.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I finally watched it, and I think the main issue with some of her advice is that it doesn't necessarily pertains to erotica, at least not fully.

She does repeatedly say "...unless you're writing erotica" as several points in the video. (Though personally, I think a lot of erotica would still benefit from some of that advice.)

It is meant for regular fiction, preferably long-form, where a sex scene can indeed be used primarily to advance the plot and/or develop characters, with the secondary objective of providing some titillation. It is a spectrum, of course, but I'd say that most works published here put a larger emphasis on the latter than what she says a mainstream author would do.

I think you're absolutely right in saying that this is what most stories do here. Whether that's a good choice is a different question.

It's not a binary choice between "hotness prioritised" and "plot/character prioritised". It's a complex interaction between the two - often supporting one another rather than competing for space - with many shades of grey in there. I think many stories here would benefit - and not lose an ounce of hotness - from some of that advice.

 

[mildlyaroused]

I put most of my characterisation around the sex. In real life, whenever I've found myself in a sexual or romantic situation which marks a turning point for a relationship or for my day-to-day life, I do most of the reflecting after the fact or leading up to the fact. I think that's how most humans work.