Internet silence...I always get this wrong!

[blulilacgrl]

Here’s an interesting question that I could really use an answer to. As a newbie to this whole internet chatting thing… what is the email silence/non-response length of time that signals things are over. I mean let’s face it, people no longer will openly say…”Hey I really don’t want to talk anymore”, they simply stop responding. But on the other hand, shit happens IRL that can get in the way of internet communication. And somehow I always get it wrong, I either wait too long or I just walk away too quickly…

So, here you go, what is the time frame… is 24 hrs too short but 6 wks kind of the big ol’ clue by four?

What is it for you? How long does it take before you write someone off?

 

[The_Fool]

I go by unanswered messages. Three strikes you are out. Time between messages differs, depending on whether I see them present in some media or another.

 

[cowslinger64]

Here’s an interesting question that I could really use an answer to. As a newbie to this whole internet chatting thing… what is the email silence/non-response length of time that signals things are over. I mean let’s face it, people no longer will openly say…”Hey I really don’t want to talk anymore”, they simply stop responding. But on the other hand, shit happens IRL that can get in the way of internet communication. And somehow I always get it wrong, I either wait too long or I just walk away too quickly…

So, here you go, what is the time frame… is 24 hrs too short but 6 wks kind of the big ol’ clue by four?

What is it for you? How long does it take before you write someone off?

Thats a tough one.. I never expect immediately responses ( Ok, I never realistically expect that...lol) Real life does get in the way, and sometimes its more about bad timing and circumstances. It would be nice to just have someone say they aren't really interested if thats the case, or even be honest enough to say they aren't bright enough to keep up, or just a huge flake. At least I'd know and not waste my time.

 

[Aquagal]

Thats a tough one.. I never expect immediately responses ( Ok, I never realistically expect that...lol) Real life does get in the way, and sometimes its more about bad timing and circumstances. It would be nice to just have someone say they aren't really interested if thats the case, or even be honest enough to say they aren't bright enough to keep up, or just a huge flake. At least I'd know and not waste my time.

lol!

 

[lance gt]

I waited a month after the responses stopped, just to make sure RL wasn't the reason, or internet problems wouldn't allow any responses. When she was posting constantly in Facebook, I got the message and deleted her from my computer and my memory.

 

[cowslinger64]

lol!

or hell...tell me that I'M not bright enough...but dont be a flake..that is so annoying. The disappearing act is my least favorite thing.

 

[Aquagal]

or hell...tell me that I'M not bright enough...but dont be a flake..that is so annoying. The disappearing act is my least favorite thing.

No, you misunderstood. I can't imagine someone saying to you, "ummm Slinger, I'm eerrrr...too dumb to keep up with your wittiness, this isn't going to work. You make my brain think too hard."

 

[cowslinger64]

No, you misunderstood. I can't imagine someone saying to you, "ummm Slinger, I'm eerrrr...too dumb to keep up with your wittiness, this isn't going to work. You make my brain think too hard."

then just say to go away or fuck off...almost anything is better than nothin.

 

[Aquagal]

then just say to go away or fuck off...almost anything is better than nothin.

YES! But the OPs not giving enough info out. Has it been 25 hours since your last contact or have you been ignored for weeks? Then we can make a better assessment.

 

[cowslinger64]

YES! But the OPs not giving enough info out. Has it been 25 hours since your last contact or have you been ignored for weeks? Then we can make a better assessment.

Seems to me the OP is asking for our thoughts on time frames...as rambly as they may be, those are mine..


For me...its a pattern of disappearing that I dont care for.

 

[blulilacgrl]

I have run the gamut. I have not spoken with some people for almost 4 wks and thought okaaaayy... this must be done, only to have them pop back up and wonder why i don't chat with them anymore.

I've had people who are in almost near constant contact just drop off the face of the earth...and I have waited for a while only to hear (when they finally do pop back up) I should have gotten the message weeks ago.

I've even been told that I need to stop viewing online 'correspondents' as actual people. That breaks my heart! Because I can't help it, if I begin chatting with you, if we develop some type of friendship, I'm gonna care. I'm at least going to care about how your day went. So this idea that you should only think of them if their name is on the screen in front of you... I don't know...it makes me think I am not cut out for this.

 

[MollyDolly]

I think we need to develop the ability as adults to communicate as adults. If you're not interested when someone sends you a PM, tell them so. I like to explain to those random PMers that I am not interested in cyber/phone/pic swap/etc. and wish them luck in their quest to find a playmate. Any further pressure results in ignoring. I think that's fair- I've explained where I'm at.

As for period of time, I don't know- a week? Two weeks? It depends on what you know of the person's life. If we're talking an on-call ER doc, I'd say give him/her some leeway. If we're talking a jobless, childless person, probably a couple of days.

The main thing is this: do you feel ignored? Do you feel undervalued? Are you getting the face time that you want with this person? If you're not, then you need to explain this to him/her and move on.

I hope that's helpful!

 

[blulilacgrl]

I think we need to develop the ability as adults to communicate as adults. If you're not interested when someone sends you a PM, tell them so. I like to explain to those random PMers that I am not interested in cyber/phone/pic swap/etc. and wish them luck in their quest to find a playmate. Any further pressure results in ignoring. I think that's fair- I've explained where I'm at.

As for period of time, I don't know- a week? Two weeks? It depends on what you know of the person's life. If we're talking an on-call ER doc, I'd say give him/her some leeway. If we're talking a jobless, childless person, probably a couple of days.

The main thing is this: do you feel ignored? Do you feel undervalued? Are you getting the face time that you want with this person? If you're not, then you need to explain this to him/her and move on.

I hope that's helpful!

It is but it isn't. I keep having this issue pop up where apparently I don't wait long enough. I just heard someone who I haven't heard from in almost 4 weeks. Well I had written him off. I figured that something had either come up or maybe he just got busy, but truthfully I am so tired of it . I just see people dropping off all the time and I feel like it is rude. But then I wondered-- Is going offline for weeks on end not disappearing?

So it made me begin to think... did I miss the memo? Is there some internet rule book that delineates a time frame before you write somebody off.

 

[Mrtenant]

I would say, I do understand, but.....without giving examples....



At times yes it seems puzzling, but also, I try to remember, I don't have to be online either, I can better explore relationships in person. I am there for those friends who call me friend whenever I am here, and I would hope the same in reverse only backwards or something. If you catch my meaning.


My friendships are timeless, I pick up right where we left off and do not worry a bit about the gap, the sudden cut offs or what ever. Call me a sucker if you will, but, it is in my nature to give to my friends and acquantances, even strangers, such as yourself, of myself. They can reject me or not. Its all the same.

Shrugs....I'll see them around, and still call them friends. Its how I roll.


Lets go grab some icecream?

 

[papadoc19]

I generally go by the three strikes rule...if there is no reply or a non-reply reply I just move on...

 

[BradBigBrain]

Doesn't it depend on the conversation?

I've had people ask me questions and I've answered them and then that was it. No worries.

I've had people talk to me about stuff...then they find out certain information and the conversation is done. That could be age, location, height, height, weight, marital status, what condiments I put on my hot dogs, etc. and then it's done.

Some people respond well to dick pictures. Others don't.

 

[RickTango]

Here’s an interesting question that I could really use an answer to. As a newbie to this whole internet chatting thing… what is the email silence/non-response length of time that signals things are over. I mean let’s face it, people no longer will openly say…”Hey I really don’t want to talk anymore”, they simply stop responding. But on the other hand, shit happens IRL that can get in the way of internet communication. And somehow I always get it wrong, I either wait too long or I just walk away too quickly…

So, here you go, what is the time frame… is 24 hrs too short but 6 wks kind of the big ol’ clue by four?

What is it for you? How long does it take before you write someone off?

Personally. I think some, not all, forget that there are real people on the other end of these pixels...I've been on and off chat lines for many years and unfortunatly too many people end up getting hurt because they emotionally invest in a relationship where the other party isn't making same investment.....not sure i can give advice lol....but one of my guiding principals in life ( both online and off line) is associated with people of character rather than characters.