Is respect a right or a privilege?

[Whispersecret]

Also, there is a difference between showing someone respect, and actually respecting them inside your heart. I show my step-mother respect, but because of her actions, I don't respect her as much as I'd like to.

 

[Chaton]

Respect...

I try to treat everyone with respect, until they do something to make me change my mind. That goes for people I know, grocery clerk, mail man etc... I think everyone deserves a little respect until they prove themselves unworthy.

 

[Comshaw]

From Weird Harold

In the case of other people who you have never met before, their position and accomplishments warrant your respect until they prove unworthy of respect.

As KM mentioned, there are times and situations where respect is due the rank/position of people who are not personally worthy of respect because that rank/position means they must be obeyed regardless of personal feelings on your part.

It is possible to respect a position of authority without respecting the person who holds it.

Just as our legal system requires an assumption of innocence for the accused, any pesron must be accorded respect based on common courtesy and due their rank/position until they abrogate the right to that respect by their words or actions.

Nope, sorry, but I think you and KM are wrong on this one. For one thing, I think you are confusing authority and obedience with respect. they are three distinctly different things.

Point in case; if I were a prisoner of war and my captors were very abusive, I would have to obey most orders, for fear of retribution. Is that the same as respect?


On meeting a cop for the first time, I would extend the same courtesy and respect I would on meeting a janitor for the first time. As I said, everyone in my estimation deserves respect, not because they are a cop, or a judge or the president, but because they are. It can't be legislated, ordered or demanded. Each of us give it in our own way and define it filtered through our own bias. The job of a cop is to uphold the law. To me that demands no more respect then a fisherman, or mechanic or anything else anyone does for a living. It's the person in that position that holds the respect.
I think part of the confusion comes form the interchangeable use of "respect" "caution" "authority" and "obedience.
As in (caution) "I respect that guy because he has a gun." Or(authority) "you had better respect that cops orders." Or (obedience)"I'll respect your orders by obeying them."

I have in the past and probably will in the future, get my ass in trouble by telling someone in authority that I have lost all respect for them. Usually it's not what I say but how I say it.
Anyway my point is that a position cannot be invested with respect, only the person filling it. Authority, yes, but never respect. And as I said, everyone in my estimation starts out with all the respect I can give them.

'nuff said. I think I've mumbled on long enough.

Comshaw

 

[KillerMuffin]

How do you define respect? I don't think we're talking about the same thing.

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[WoodyViagra]

DCL--You're on notice!

Yeah, DCL, 1 of the things the Tonight staff told me was that you constantly lift material--even here at the BB is proof of that--What a thief--

 

[CelestialBody]

Re: DCL--You're on notice!

 

[Siren]

Juspar started the thought....Indy added and I will improve on it...hahaha

 

[Laurel]

Re: Re: DCL--You're on notice!

Yeah, DCL, 1 of the things the Tonight staff told me was that you constantly lift material--even here at the BB is proof of that--What a thief-- [/B]

That's cute, but DCL isn't Leno...if I'm not mistaken, he's too young.

He's better looking than Leno, too. By a mile.

 

[Gingersnap]

I agree with DCL on this one too. I think it is a measure of maturity to give respect to someone like that proffessor. He did the work and taught a lot of years so if he slows down now does that mean he is worthy of your contempt?

I may not admire certain doctors I work with but I do respect the years they put in the field. I admire others for the exceptional people that they are and their committment. I learned that there are some people out there who have overcome huge problems. Things that would make most folks give up and slash their wrists. It took me a few years to understand that not giving respect to others cost me more then it did them.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Yeah, DCL, 1 of the things the Tonight staff told me was that you constantly lift material--even here at the BB is proof of that--What a thief--

Woody, you are you just so pissed off because you can't win ONE fight! My God boy, you're going to pee yourself right out of those Depends. Just quit, girl, and have yourself a little lie down. LOL

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

LOL No, just irking him. He's so easily irked! And while he's irked he goes on and on about how much he isn't irked and types the word "YAWN" to show us... and then he goes on getting irkier and irkier! He's killing me, I swear he's killing me! LOL

 

[CelestialBody]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Don't drink the stuff. Swear to God. Never had a drop. I think what it is is that I'm too horny to sleep -- LOL. Every have one of of those nights? I'm too up to not be up.

 

[codak]

Earned of course, but a lot of others I know think it to be deserved automatically just because they are standing within your line of site. I hate that, drives me to start counting to 500.

 

[Coggie]

Respect

I think respected is earned, not given. You?

I hate to stay on topic and serious but.......

Surely respect is both a right and privilege. I believe I have a right to respect because I am a part of humanity, I should have the same basic human rights as you, and everyone else. I will afford you this respect also.

I happen to think this is a privilege too because some abuse those rights by taking advantage of others or by commiting crime. Yet these people do not lose the respect for their basic rights, a condemned man is still part of humanity.

Where perhaps I can meet you halfway is by stating that the degree of respect afforded is earned. I respect you more because of your thought provoking post than I did before for instance.

Okay..... that's my lot.

 

[DarlingBri]

I agree with Coggie...

But with a slightly different take. I believe that all humans should approach each other from a basis of respect. I also think that respect for another person is something that person can tarnish or destroy by their own actions. I also believe that respect is something that can be earned back, again through one's own actions.

[Edited by DarlingBri on 04-11-2001 at 02:31 AM]

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by Comshaw
Nope, sorry, but I think you and KM are wrong on this one. For one thing, I think you are confusing authority and obedience with respect. they are three distinctly different things.

Point in case; if I were a prisoner of war and my captors were very abusive, I would have to obey most orders, for fear of retribution. Is that the same as respect?


No, that isn't the same thing as respect.

I think part of the miscommunication here, is because KM and I are both brainwashed by the military.

There is a difference between respectful obedience of those appointed over you and sullen obedience to one who has you in their power.


On meeting a cop for the first time, I would extend the same courtesy and respect I would on meeting a janitor for the first time. As I said, everyone in my estimation deserves respect, not because they are a cop, or a judge or the president, but because they are. It can't be legislated, ordered or demanded. Each of us give it in our own way and define it filtered through our own bias.

I think you do give cops, judges, and presidents more respect than you do a janitor, if only subconsciously and because they hold positions of authority.

I personally believe that the president deserves more respect than the others named, because he is the representative of our nation as well as a man. I also accord men of the cloth more respeect because they are "the representitives of God" than I would a casually met stranger, Not because I personally believe in God or their Faith but because society expects it of me.

The job of a cop is to uphold the law. To me that demands no more respect then a fisherman, or mechanic or anything else anyone does for a living. It's the person in that position that holds the respect.
I think part of the confusion comes form the interchangeable use of "respect" "caution" "authority" and "obedience.

I'm not confusing respect with the others, because I can respectfully obey or sullenly obey; Be respectfully cautious or fearfully cautious; Respectfully acknowldege authority or simply submit to authority.

A policeman is a representative of the will of the people as expressed through their elected representatives -- the embodiment of the state, so to speak. He, by virtue of his position, deserves the kind of respect I would accord the state itself. The man hiding behind that facade of representation may not be worthy of respect, but the greater entity he represents still deserves the respect regardless of the fallibility of the representative.

On the other hand, a policeman deserves more respect than a janitor from me, if only to offset the sullenness of other people and outright hostility directed at him as that representative of a greater entity.

There may be a confusion of definition between us, but I think it's between "respect" and "common courtesy." Like you, I extend common courtesy to everyone I meet until they do something to make me feel they don't deserve even that.

However, there is a difference in the "Wazzup" I offer a passing stranger, the "Good Afternoon, Sir" and salute I offer a passing Officer, and the "Is there a problem, officer?" I offer the traffic cop who stops me.

The greetings are common courtesy, while the forms are differing degrees of respect accorded their differing ranks and positions.

 

[Ally C]

One of my friends and I got into a debate about this yesterday. We're in the same class, and the professor is a total ass. He's intimidating and unmotivated, and probably should have retired long ago.

She said that he is entitled a certain amount of respect because of how he's earned his position. I said he deserves nothing more than to be treated civilly because he hasn't done anything to earn the respect of his students.

Since I'm a grad student at the same school I got my Bachellor's from, I've known some of the faculty next to forever and have become friends with a few outside of the classroom.

There is one professor who will do next to anything to help a student who's really trying. He has a boy in his class this semester who has a learning disablilty. He stayed until 3 am one night to give this student his test. It took him 6 hours to finish. He's pulled several all nighters preparing for a workshop which he instituted. All that aside, he's got a heart of gold. He loves anyone who puts forth an effort to be decent person and give their best in anything they do, and loathes anyone who lies, cheats, or backstabs.

In my opinion, the person I just mentioned is deserving of respect because he shows respect to others. The professor I have now is not. I think respected is earned, not given. You?

Thanks for starting this thread Iris. Also, a big thanks to all of the positive contributions; I've really enjoyed reading through this one.

Anyway, there isn't much I can add to the answers given, so a slight change of thought has occured. As noted from Iris' example, she said the professor "deserves nothing more than to be treated civilly." In this case I would hazard a guess that this is in fact a type of respect (as described already) which suffices in the given circumstances. Will your coursework suffer as a result of the professor's demeanour, for example? If it will, then perhaps you need to discuss this with him. He sounds unapproachable though, and if this is the case then action might need to be taken at a 'higher level'. One possible outcome of this could be that you will alienate yourself from elements of the teaching staff, and make your school life uncomfortable in general. I don't believe in fostering a culture of complaint, although there are of course occasions when complaining is entirely necessary and justifiable. But what of the repercussions? Would you be any better of in terms of focus on your studies? Once you initiate something like this the outcomes are not guaranteed. A remedy may present itself, but there may be some 'side effects' which you hadn't counted on.

The above was hypothetical, as I'm not privy to all of the facts. I tend to respect people in positions of authority. I don't expect them to bend over backwards for me because of this, just the opposite at times in fact. What sort of people would we be if in positions of 'power' such as that given? I'd like to think we'd get along just fine, but I wonder. Being an outright 'bastard' seems to work so well for so many that I've decided to overlook the correlation between personality and position. I can live with such people and respect them without necessarily liking them [not 100% of such cases, it's never 100% - but pretty damn close on this occasion].

As for the professor with the heart of gold, good for him. But I have to say that the fact that he has to go to such lengths casts doubts on provision for special needs students in particular, and all other students in general. He has my respect, but the school doesn't on the information given. Perhaps it's the education system which needs overhauled and not the first professor who needs keel-hauled??? Debates about teaching pay and conditions abound and are making the headlines a lot at the moment. It's too easy for governments to throw bundles of money to entice people to teach, when in fact not everyone makes a good teacher, no matter how much you pay them. Does the first professor provide adequate instruction? Again, a value judgement is required: others might not like him either, but could ultimately get straight 'A's. Like all forms of human interaction, there are rules of engagement. In academia I'd strongly advise getting to know your 'foe' for what he can tell you about his chosen subject, than what he can tell you about himself [as a person].

Sorry ... this thread has been well answered already, and my mind's wandering all over the damn place.

My answer: Respect is earned and can be given also ...

... my mind is grinding into gear again ... but I'll have to stop there, or I'll be typing this post all day.