I've been having dreams...

[eepy]

Hmm, we could be cousins or something. My mom doesn't know who her birth parents are.

So stop that! No more naughty thoughts for you

I'm gonna sleep now, though. I'll check back in soon.

Thanks to everyone for reading my ramblings and helping me to start to work through some stuff.

Good night!

 

[CJontherocks]

G'night, Eepy. It was nice meeting you.

 

[SweetErika]

CJ change it back!!! The last AV was much sexier IMHO.

 

[CJontherocks]

How 'bout now?

 

[eepy]

Not bad

 

[Stiffy Says...]

Yep, if I am bi, I probably wouldn't have realized it before now. Too much Christian school, etc.



I SO understand where you are coming from. I am a 32 year old guy, and occasionally I wonder as well, because I do have some fantasies - I mean, I am curious about having a lady take me with a strap-on, and while curious, I doubt I would ever try to suck a man off just out of pure fear of heart attack from the fear. Why the fear? Tight-assed Christian upbringing myself. You can only hear that "fornicators and homosexuals burn in hell" so many times as a kid and not have it affect you on some level.

Good luck on figuring your stuff out. Wish I had been as far in the questioning process when I was your age - I likley would have had an answer to the quandry by now.

 

[SweetErika]

How 'bout now?

Better.

 

[eepy]

Yep, if I am bi, I probably wouldn't have realized it before now. Too much Christian school, etc.



I SO understand where you are coming from. I am a 32 year old guy, and occasionally I wonder as well, because I do have some fantasies - I mean, I am curious about having a lady take me with a strap-on, and while curious, I doubt I would ever try to suck a man off just out of pure fear of heart attack from the fear. Why the fear? Tight-assed Christian upbringing myself. You can only hear that "fornicators and homosexuals burn in hell" so many times as a kid and not have it affect you on some level.

Good luck on figuring your stuff out. Wish I had been as far in the questioning process when I was your age - I likley would have had an answer to the quandry by now.

Thanks for understanding, Stiffy

I went to a very fundementalist Christian school for middle school and junior high and then attended a Baptist university for 3 years. I actually LOST my religion in college, though, bc the Bible classes revealed the inconsistencies, uncertainties and irrelevance of the Bible to me.

Besides which, nowhere in the New Testament is homosexuality considered a sin, so unless Christians want to go by Old Testament laws and do all sorts of crazy stuff, they should just drop it (never gonna happen, I know). People need to just accept others' differences and let them be.

I'm still surrounded by this narrow-minded kind of thinking, though (which I was greatly reminded of yesterday at my family's Thanksgiving get-together -- lots of fun ).

If I were ever to come out as bisexual, the consequences with my family would be so severe... I would have a really, really difficult time doing it. They would all be praying for more soul (even more so than they do now), which makes me feel really weird, you know? It's not really their business what I chose to believe, who I chose to love.

This is something else for me to think about, I guess -- Would it be worth losing my relationships with family members over, or should I just forget my curiosity/questioning?

 

[SweetErika]

If I were ever to come out as bisexual, the consequences with my family would be so severe... I would have a really, really difficult time doing it. They would all be praying for more soul (even more so than they do now), which makes me feel really weird, you know? It's not really their business what I chose to believe, who I chose to love.

This is something else for me to think about, I guess -- Would it be worth losing my relationships with family members over, or should I just forget my curiosity/questioning?

It's a good question, but is it worth worrying about before you're sure of your sexuality and in a situation where you need to tell people?

Here's a question for you...let's assume you're bi and find a woman you could live happily ever after with...is being accepted by narrow-minded family members worth denying who you are and yourself love and happiness?

 

[Stiffy Says...]

Erika has such a point

eepy, I think worrying about the family accepting your "sinner's lifestyle" is premature. I mean, if you try it (safely - be safe - please!!!)and you don't like it, then the family never has to know.

Besides, I do not know how close your family is, but I spent the majority of my 20's living over 1000 miles from my parents - so they never would have known anyway if I were living with a lover and romping around the house in the nude 24/7.

If you find someone special, and that someone is another lady, then worry about breaking it to the family. I know, inside there is that nagging fear - trust me, but it really is only in your head. Once you figure out how to deal with it, I think your life will be a happier place.

Stiffy...

 

[CJontherocks]

It was a huge thing when I realized my sexuality. Huge for me. And although I know my Mom would be supportive, I just don't think we need to discuss it. And my sisters would be behind me as well. We are very close in spirit, if nothing else. (It wasn't always like that.)

Others in my not-so-immediate family? Oh geez, I'd be the talk of every family get-together for the next fifteen years. But then, I'd never discuss my sexuality with them and I really don't care what they'd say.

If I met a guy I wanted my mother to meet, I would certainly struggle with it as well. But that day has yet to come, so I ain't trippin'. I've never discussed my female sexual partners with her, so why would I start just because one or more partners happened to be a guy? I don't tell her how often I masturbate either.

Maybe it's a cop-out, I don't know. Yeah, it would be tough for me to tell my Mom. But first I have to have a good reason to tell her.

 

[Stiffy Says...]

Well eepy, not to hijack your thread, but I had a revelation tonight. I went online to see if chat sex with a guy would turn me on, and I found out the following - a pic of penis - cool (some of them), but guys methods of chat, well, really creeped me out to say the least.

Makes me think my idea of a lady with a strap on is as far as I wanna go with my fantasies.

My point in sharing? Chat may be a cool way to test the waters, if you are not yet confident enough to want to try to meet someone in person. Might learn something new!

Stiffy...

 

[eepy]

It's a good question, but is it worth worrying about before you're sure of your sexuality and in a situation where you need to tell people?

You're right, of course. I worry about everything, even hypotheticals... mostly hypotheticals, actually ("what if this? what if that?"). I know deep down that things will work out just fine in the end, but that doesn't keep me from assuming otherwise. Thanks for reminding me to calm down and take things as they come.

Here's a question for you...let's assume you're bi and find a woman you could live happily ever after with...is being accepted by narrow-minded family members worth denying who you are and yourself love and happiness?

Maybe, maybe not. I guess that's something I shouldn't be worrying about quite yet, hmm?

 

[eepy]

If I met a guy I wanted my mother to meet, I would certainly struggle with it as well. But that day has yet to come, so I ain't trippin'. I've never discussed my female sexual partners with her, so why would I start just because one or more partners happened to be a guy? I don't tell her how often I masturbate either.

I have this strange need to tell my mother everything. We're not even close at all, but I have a tendency to just start blurting things out to her. And I can't lie to her or even stretch the truth; she always knows. It's a problem. Arg.

Okay, so she doesn't know how often I masturbate, or that I frequent the Lit board, but still...

 

[eepy]

My point in sharing? Chat may be a cool way to test the waters, if you are not yet confident enough to want to try to meet someone in person. Might learn something new!

Good thought, Stiffy! Sorry it didn't work out for you, but let me just tell you that I have a hard time getting turned on by guys in IM, too -- and I do enjoy them in real life. The computer turns their brains to mush (although your brain is an exception, I'm sure ).

I did have a girl I chatted with every now and then who hit on me and wanted to meet, and she was really sweet about it, never really freaked me out (not too much, anyway). She was pretty intriguing, but now she's moved away. I will definitely IM her the next time I see her online, though.

Anyway, it's a good plan. Maybe I'll run a search... if I can figure out how to do that in the AOL browser (I'm used to AIM by itself -- it's so much better that way ).

 

[CJontherocks]

I have this strange need to tell my mother everything. We're not even close at all, but I have a tendency to just start blurting things out to her. And I can't lie to her or even stretch the truth; she always knows. It's a problem. Arg.

Okay, so she doesn't know how often I masturbate, or that I frequent the Lit board, but still...

Oh do I know that. My Mom always knew when I was lying... something I was never able to master as a Dad. (She admitted later she didn't really know... but as long as I thought she knew, I was caught.) Several months ago when I split up with my wife, she kept saying things like "whoever you are, I'll support you," and "no matter what, I'll still love you," and things like that. I hadn't even really given any deep thought to my sexuality at that point, but I felt later like she was trying to tell me she knew... paranoia?

 

[eepy]

Oh do I know that. My Mom always knew when I was lying... something I was never able to master as a Dad. (She admitted later she didn't really know... but as long as I thought she knew, I was caught.) Several months ago when I split up with my wife, she kept saying things like "whoever you are, I'll support you," and "no matter what, I'll still love you," and things like that. I hadn't even really given any deep thought to my sexuality at that point, but I felt later like she was trying to tell me she knew... paranoia?

Ew! I hate those -- the little cryptic messages that no one else can do quite like a mom can.

 

[CJontherocks]

Ew! I hate those -- the little cryptic messages that no one else can do quite like a mom can.

Yeah, she's really good at it too. I'm gonna call her.

 

[eepy]

Yeah, she's really good at it too. I'm gonna call her.

A glutton for punishment, hmm?

 

[CJontherocks]

A glutton for punishment, hmm?

In many ways.

 

[eepy]

In many ways.

Naughty boy!

 

[eepy]

This was freakin' hilarious. Okay, so I went into an AOL Bisexual Chat Room, looking for girls to IM. Of course, guys started IMing me instead. Below is a typical conversation (well, I started out nicer than this with the first couple of guys and got progressively evil as I got more and more annoyed).

Stupidboy [3:35 PM]: hi asl
Eepy22fmo [3:35 PM]: hi
Eepy22fmo [3:35 PM]: 22/f/mo
Stupidboy [3:35 PM]: 30m mass okw ith u?
Eepy22fmo [3:36 PM]: I'm tired of guys, actually.
Stupidboy [3:36 PM]: really y?
Eepy22fmo [3:36 PM]: They bore me.
Stupidboy [3:37 PM]: y?
Eepy22fmo [3:37 PM]: Same questions, same comments, over and over again.
Stupidboy [3:38 PM]: pic?
Eepy22fmo [3:38 PM]: Is that supposed to be a joke??
Stupidboy [3:38 PM]: no y
Eepy22fmo [3:38 PM]: Oh dear god.

Obviously, I changed the idiot's sn (ever so cleverly...)

And don't you just love how people ask me "asl?" even though it's right in my freakin' sn?? Grrr! </rant>

 

[eepy]

Yay! I just got to chat with my AIM friend She's such a sweetie

 

[CJontherocks]

lol. Bi chicks get all the attention.

 

[SweetErika]

This was freakin' hilarious. Okay, so I went into an AOL Bisexual Chat Room, looking for girls to IM. Of course, guys started IMing me instead. Below is a typical conversation (well, I started out nicer than this with the first couple of guys and got progressively evil as I got more and more annoyed).

Stupidboy [3:35 PM]: hi asl
Eepy22fmo [3:35 PM]: hi
Eepy22fmo [3:35 PM]: 22/f/mo
Stupidboy [3:35 PM]: 30m mass okw ith u?
Eepy22fmo [3:36 PM]: I'm tired of guys, actually.
Stupidboy [3:36 PM]: really y?
Eepy22fmo [3:36 PM]: They bore me.
Stupidboy [3:37 PM]: y?
Eepy22fmo [3:37 PM]: Same questions, same comments, over and over again.
Stupidboy [3:38 PM]: pic?
Eepy22fmo [3:38 PM]: Is that supposed to be a joke??
Stupidboy [3:38 PM]: no y
Eepy22fmo [3:38 PM]: Oh dear god.

Obviously, I changed the idiot's sn (ever so cleverly...)

And don't you just love how people ask me "asl?" even though it's right in my freakin' sn?? Grrr! </rant>

I stopped going to bi chatrooms. There were men disguised as women, men disguised as bi/gay men so they could find women, and just too much chatter. It's much better to IM with someone you know is relatively normal like your friend.