Lack of orgasm

[BlueVelvet]

Alright all you Literotica professionals....I need your help.

I'm a 34 yr old female who has never been able to orgasm vaginally. I've only orgasmed with stimulation from another man once. YES, I've brought myself to orgasm masturbating. What I need help with is figuring out why I can't with partners. I want so badly to.

I've become concerned for fear of hurting my relationship with this problem. My man is getting a big blow to his ego with this. I tell him it's not him..it's me.

Sex feels awesome and I wonder sometimes if I'm close and just prevent myself. I just read an article on female ejaculation soemone posted here and how a woman feels she needs to pee when an orgasm is about to hit. Is this true? Do vaginal orgasms feel that way?? I've had that sensation a few times, and stopped myself for fear of wetting the bed and my partner.

Can anyone help me understand my body. I do know how to find my G-spot when masturbating..it just doesnt seem to feel the same with a hard man inside me....or when a man rubs my clit.

HEELPPP!!!

Blue

 

[Noor]

first of all get over your fear of peeing on your partner, you probably won't but if you do, so what? sex is messy, urine washes. If you empty your bladder before sex you won't have much to drench him with anyway. if you are worried have sex on a nice large terry towel.

next you have to find a position that allows your lover to hit your g spot when he is inside you, as you already know what it feels like it shouldn't be too hard. It is all angle thing.

 

[sheath]

Sex feels awesome and I wonder sometimes if I'm close and just prevent myself. I just read an article on female ejaculation soemone posted here and how a woman feels she needs to pee when an orgasm is about to hit. Is this true? Do vaginal orgasms feel that way?? I've had that sensation a few times, and stopped myself for fear of wetting the bed and my partner.


Blue

A really strong orgasm can feel that way, at least for me. The times when I have felt that way, usually I haven't "squirted" at all, but the orgasms were DEEP, and I could feel the contractions of it all through me.

I agree with Noor...just use the bathroom before, and there shouldn't be anything to worry about. Have you told you partner that you are afraid of urinating on him? If he knows this, and then if somehow, someway, you DO...well, it's just something you can both laugh about and brush off.

Good luck...

Good luck...

S.

 

[Psia]

Okay, I have a bunch to say on this subject. It doesn't sound to me like you are at all abnormal. Most women don't orgasm from intercourse most of the time. Yes, some lucky women do, but not everyone. I'm about 1 out of 4. I still enjoy sex even when I don't orgasm, but I definitely like it better when I do. We're just not built like men and it doesn't happen as easily.

The fact that you can orgasm with masterbation tells me that everything is working fine. You're probably not getting enough clitoral stimulation during intercourse to reach orgasm. Lots of foreplay is needed for many women to orgasm (maybe 20 minutes or more of him kissing or fondling your vagina and especially clitoris). Your man might orgasm in 10 minutes, while you're still a good 15 minutes away from being really ready to orgasm. LOTS of foreplay would be my first suggestion. I explained this to my husband and let me tell you, I'm going to be personally responsible when he gets carpal tunnel syndrome and I don't care!

If this isn't the case, maybe there is some other reason that you aren't orgasming with a partner (inhibition, not feeling comfortable with your partner or your body, etc.).

There are some good books (like "Becoming orgasmic") that help with this, but they focus more on ladies who can't orgasm at all, even in masterbation. Might be worth a look though.

Good luck!
Psia

 

[Psia]

Oops! Got carried away and forgot something (like the main point!!). I agree with the other posters, it's not very likely that you'll squirt pee. Even if you did, it probably would be such a small amount neither of you would notice. But if you're worried, try emptying yourself first.
Psia

 

[Carnus]

From a male point (limited as it may be)

I would rather a woman have an orgasm or 3 o 4. I have been with one woman found it almost impossible to have an orgasm through intercourse, we worked and worked to find a way to let her get off and never found it. The only time that she did and did big time was after we had both had a few glasses of wine (not drunk, but quite tipsy) and when she did, she peed all over me. Big deal, I could have cared less, she enjoyed it and had the first vaginal orgasm from intercourse in her life and she was in her late 30's (luck me was in my late 20s I so love older women) We found out rather accidently through a few more encounters that mostly she was more concerned about my pleasure and satisfaction than her own but when she had enough inhibitions removed through chemical assistance she enjoyed it quite well. I don't know if that helps in any way, but wanted to let you know not to give up.

Carnus

 

[BlueVelvet]

Thanks

I appreciate all the help....yes, I agree with the fact that I dont get enough clitoral stimulation. But also, I think I have alittle inhibition in myself somewhere. The other night I sort of let myself go and ALMOST had an orgasm with my lover licking me...at least I think so. We will have to try it some more..hehe

I've read somewhere..that women who are in their 30's are easier at getting to orgasm. I sure hope so!! I'm 34 and can't wait!!! LOL

Thanks again for your insight...looking forward to many orgasms.
Always willing to try

 

[Mysty61]

Most of us find it difficult to have orgasm without some kind of external orgasm. I have an egg shaped vibrator which can be inserted before your man enters you. This can be exciting for him as well as you. I also find standing on the floor bent over the bed with him entering from the read allows me to place my egg just where I need stimulation, almost guarantees an organism. Relax, relax, relax don't think about anything except your enjoyment clear your mind, and don't worry about what your partner might think. A peeing sensation is not that unusual if it happens it happens - so what. You are there for mutual pleasure and enjoyment if your partner know you are engulfed in pleasure he will be pleased. Sometimes I am able to get into some kind of trance and have no idea what is happening other then the pleasure I am getting. Just let go.

 

[Gilly Bean]

I personally have never orgasmed through vaginal stimulation, and don't think I ever will. To me, it's not a big deal, because my husband goes down on me nearly every time we have sex, either before or after, so I almost always get off that way.

We've tried different positions, I've tried relaxing when I feel that "I have to pee" urge, but it's hard to ignore that, you know? Years and years of learning how to hold it are ingrained. I have better luck if I've been drinking at trying NOT to hold it, but so far, haven't gotten there.

My feeling on the matter is that I've had 3 kids vaginally who tore my to shreds coming out. I honestly don't think I have good nerve endings down there. I can actually pinch myself inside and not feel it. So, if I never orgasm that way, I won't be shocked. I'd be more shocked if I did.

Anyway, you need to just work around position, see what works. The one position I can be in, and still access my clit the best, is being on top. There's also the added benifit of being able to kind of grind your clit against him. There are also slim line vibes that are flat that you can kind of insert in between you two. Never tried it, but I'd like to.

There are also cock rings with attachments that go over your clit during sex, but I didn't like those at all. They felt weird, he hated em, just an all together blah experience.

Any way, good luck. Hope you guys find something that works.