ladies 20 to 25 I need your input

[djay1000]

Hi there:
I am curious on how a 39yr very attractive man with a muscular build can develop discreet affairs with 20 to 25 yr old ladies. Do you have information from past experiences or possilbly fantasies? Any information you could give me would be greatly appreciated>

thanks
djay

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I bet if you posted this on the personals you'd get tons of responses there.

 

[djay1000]

thank you for the suggestion

by any chance do you have any other input you could give?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

attractive and muscular build has something to do with setting up an affair?


I'm sorry, personality is always what inspired me to get involved with someone.

 

[djay1000]

wouldn't you agree though that a physical attraction sure helps?

 

[Willing and Unsure]

physical attraction only goes so far. so if that's all you want, then seriously head over to the personals on here and post this little description of yourself and you'll have tons of different people drooling over you

 

[djay1000]

I agree. Physical attraction actually gets the door open. It is what you say and do... determines if the door stays open or gets slammed in your face.

true??

 

[SweetErika]

I agree. Physical attraction actually gets the door open. It is what you say and do... determines if the door stays open or gets slammed in your face.

true??

True, but it depends on what you're looking for. If you want a secret, NSA, sex thing, you'll probably have good luck attracting women with good looks, money, and plenty of compliments. If you want something deeper, personality comes into play more.

My question is why is age so important to you? There are a ton of hot 26-40 year old women in this world.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Actually, for me, looks really don't matter that much. I've dated people that were considered drool-worthy by my girlfriends, and I've dated people that my friends considered incredibly ugly. I tend to go for the "get to know them first and then date them" tactic, so by the time I begin dating someone I've already begun to fall for the personality. After I fall for someone he or she just begins to look much better in my eyes, regardless of the appearance before.

*shrug*

 

[Willing and Unsure]

I find the personality to be the sexiest thing about a man or woman. That's where my attraction grows from. And once that little feeling is there, that's when the physical attraction grows for me. That's just the way I am. I doubt anything will ever change in that either.

 

[dollface007]

I'm 25 and have dated a guy about a year or 2 older than you off and on for the last 3 years (he's originally from Halifax, interestingly enough....now we're just friends). While he is physically fit and attractive, that's not why I enjoyed my time with him (muscleheads are for one night stands, as far as i'm concerned. They're married to the gym). We actually got along really well as friends and still do. He has a great quirky sense of humor, not to mention being very intelligent and successful. He was never married nor had any children, so there was no reason to be "discreet" about our relationship.

He's not the only man in that age range i've been interested in. I think I'm attracted to the level of maturity, drive, and success that I see in these men. It's not about the money for me (seriously, it isn't), and it's not that i need a father figure (i have a great, loving dad and older brothers to boot). I just feel that i have an old soul and many guys my age don't get me...nor am i impressed with them.

To be honest, I wonder why you'd want to scam on women my age. Is it physical attraction? Is it the power differential? Why does it need to be discreet (or is that just your way of saying you want a purely sexual relationship)?

 

[asenath]

Are you having a mid-life crisis?

 

[xDonkeyxPunchx]

looks go about this far for me
[-]
and then its about this much personality/who they are
[----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------]

because honestly if you meet someone, and they beautiful on the outside, but shallow as a puddle on the inside, i dont care how good you look, you will be ugly to me. and it goes the same vise versa. If you arent the bst on the outside, but are a great person on the inside, you in my eyes, become a very attractive person. and a person that i want to keep around as a friend or possibly more.

but saying that in all. I am very happy with my SO, and i happen to think she is the most beautiful woman that i have ever seen =) and has the best personality in a person that i could have ever asked for =)

 

[djay1000]

Thank you for all the input. To answere some questions.
I need to be discreet because I am married. I do have a wonderful good looking wife who is a great lover however for some reason I have this fantsy of having an affair with a younger lady. I am hoping to find a younger lady who is mature and looking for a a discreet, fun relationship with a successful businessman who is secure with what he has. Maybe this younger lady has a fantasy of been with an older man who can bring a calm, sexual confident demeanor to this relationship. Maybe we can teach each other a thing or two.
Probably too much to ask for?

 

[Volz]

Thank you for all the input. To answere some questions.
I need to be discreet because I am married. I do have a wonderful good looking wife who is a great lover however for some reason I have this fantsy of having an affair with a younger lady. I am hoping to find a younger lady who is mature and looking for a a discreet, fun relationship with a successful businessman who is secure with what he has. Maybe this younger lady has a fantasy of been with an older man who can bring a calm, sexual confident demeanor to this relationship. Maybe we can teach each other a thing or two.
Probably too much to ask for?

I think you need to talk to your wife about your fantasy. There are ways that you can very closely accomplish it with your wife without having to cheat on her.


Or, she may be open to the idea of you having an affair. You never know.


However, I don't suggest having an affair without a long, frank conversation with your wife. Is your fantasy worth divorce if she were ever to find out?

 

[djay1000]

Lets just say divorce would be the least of my worries if she ever found out

there is the thrill of having an affair though...expecially with a younger lady
you mention that there are ways of almost having this fantasy...could you elaborate?

 

[Volz]

.....you mention that there are ways of almost having this fantasy...could you elaborate?

Of course!


Talk to your wife. Set up a "meeting" at a bar that neither of you frequents. Go in, pick her up like you've never known her. Introduce yourself, flirt, touch her. You guys can play this up as often as you want.


Say a week after your first meeting, call her from work and ask for "Joan." Say, "This is [your name]. I enjoyed our encounter last week and was curious if you'd be up for another drink/dinner/movie?"


Out of the blue once in a while you can act like you this.

 

[djay1000]

well...it could be an alternative....but it is sure not the real thing though

 

[SweetErika]

Volz has a great idea. My thought is if you love your wife (or even just like her as a friend), she deserves the courtesy and respect of knowing what you want and how you feel beforehand. Chances are, she'd find out at some point, so why add insult to injury by being deceitful? She may even be agreeable to having an open relationship for awhile, but you should at least give her the respect she deserves.

 

[Volz]

Lets just say divorce would be the least of my worries if she ever found out

I forgot to mention this. With what you just said, why are you even married?

 

[djay1000]

volz

sorry...what I meant was that it would crush my wife if she knew about this.

 

[xDonkeyxPunchx]

Re: volz

sorry...what I meant was that it would crush my wife if she knew about this.

then why the hell even do it. If you have fantasies about cheating then you obviously shouldnt be married, you are basicly lying to her face every night when you get into bed with her and snuggle up close, every time you kiss her is an insult, because you want to cheat on her. Do her the favor now and talk to her about it, by hiding it untill she finds out will only put so much shit on the fan you wont know what hit you.

 

[djay1000]

thank you for your advice

 

[dollface007]

Re: Re: volz

then why the hell even do it. If you have fantasies about cheating then you obviously shouldnt be married, you are basicly lying to her face every night when you get into bed with her and snuggle up close, every time you kiss her is an insult, because you want to cheat on her. Do her the favor now and talk to her about it, by hiding it untill she finds out will only put so much shit on the fan you wont know what hit you.

In a way, that's a bit harsh, but the over all message is a good one. I think it's normal to fantasize about other people when you're married, but if you've agreed to be monogamous, you shouldn't act on those feelings. Why would you want to disrespect your wife like that?

Besides the crushing-your-wife thing, the whole scenario is a bit cliche, don't you think? 40yo married guy trades in his wife for a woman half his age....cashing in your 40 for two 20s...Gimme a break. Don't turn your marriage into a joke.

 

[asenath]

I had an affair with an older married man. I never really gave much thought to his wife until one day I got an e-mail from her. She found out about the affair, got into his e-mail account and sent me a couple heart wrenching e-mails. The affair detroyed her.

Go ahead and do it.. but if really loved your wife, you would never risk hurting her like that. It'll kill her when she finds out.