Ladies: What kind of women do you prefer?

[Safe_Bet]

The definition of "lesbian" among researchers extends to women who occasionally have sex with men

HAHAHAHAHAHA! SURE it does! Mr. Webster bears to differ!

Lesbian -
Function: noun
Date: circa 1890
: a woman who is a homosexual


Oh, and in case you are still confused:

Homosexuality -
of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex

 

[Safe_Bet]

Oh, good grief. There you are on that again, despite the women on here who agreed with me that these women have every right to call themselves lesbians and that they are accurate in doing so when they have very little to no sexual attraction to men. Not to mention, the reliable sources that backed me/them up on this. Should I point you to that thread and the sources I provided again? Enjoying sex is not always about sexual attraction, which is exactly why there are a lot of gay men out there who will tell you that they were able to get a little sexual pleasure out of having sex with their girlfriends or wives before they came out as gay. And like I stated then, not everyone who identifies as gay/lesbian is 100% lacking in sexual attraction to the opposite sex. The definition of "lesbian" among researchers extends to women who occasionally have sex with men but do not identify as bisexual because they have no true romantic/sexual interest in men. Most of these women, by their own admission, only use men for occasional sexual pleasure in the absence of access to a woman. They say that they can never be romantically/sexually happy with men. This is why they define themselves as lesbians, and why a lot of researchers do too.

I see you still need to read up on LGBT topics. The only thing out I outed myself as in our debates is more educated on LGBT topics than you, as I've done yet again.

BTW, who the FUCK has sex with someone they aren't attracted to other than a whore???

 

[boredVAwife]

Does it count if we got wasted and it seemed like a good idea at the time?

 

[Stella_Omega]

ok you made a believer outta me. Now what about this whole other partnerless thingie I got going on?

Well dammit, you gotta take care of that somehow.

Does it count if we got wasted and it seemed like a good idea at the time?

Depends on who's counting, evidently.

 

[boredVAwife]

Well dammit, you gotta take care of that somehow.


You're telling me. My rabbit has put in for a leave of absence.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Does it count if we got wasted and it seemed like a good idea at the time?

If you deeply regret it, swear it will never happen again and attend 6 months of BiAnon then we'll let it slide this time!

 

[PricelessT]

That's right. Clearly, you ignored the reliable sources I provided last time we debated this. I have no problem providing them and many others here now just to show how ignorant/wrong you are again, other than that providing these reliable sources, any reliable sources, never makes a difference with you. Thus, doing so this time will be just as pointless as it was the other times. Not for those who have, or will, actually read the sources (like Stella), but for you... Yeah, pointless. I invite those who aren't familiar with this fact to Google the topic, like on Google Books or Google Scholar. Google "bisexual lesbians" as a starting point. Google topics having to do with sexual identity in the LGBT community and you will see that "gay" and "lesbian" aren't defined as consistently as Safe_Bet would have people believe. Safe_Bet only goes by her own POV, and that POV (in her mind) is always right. But the wench really should know by now that any time she makes false claims about the LGBT community on this board, I'll be there to blast her ass.

 

[boredVAwife]

If you deeply regret it, swear it will never happen again and attend 6 months of BiAnon then we'll let it slide this time!

yah some slip ups are such that all the vodka in the world won't let them happen again.

 

[PricelessT]

HAHAHAHAHAHA! SURE it does! Mr. Webster bears to differ!

Lesbian -
Function: noun
Date: circa 1890
: a woman who is a homosexual


Oh, and in case you are still confused:

Homosexuality -
of, relating to, or involving sexual intercourse between persons of the same sex

Oh nice. Once again basing gay/lesbian entirely on what sex a person engages in sexual activity with...and going by simple dictionary sources as though that is any substitute for the abundance of scholarly sources that prove you wrong. Nice. Your ass didn't even know what WSW meant in that very debate we were having. One of the moderators who agreed with me about sexual identity in the LGBT community had to tell you. And yet you know what you're talking about? Don't make me laugh. And actually try heavy-hitting sources if you are going to debate with me.

 

[boredVAwife]

A poll. We need one. Don't know how to do it tho. My head swims when I try to stay up on all the terms and labels and such. I just read what Stella and other more informed folks say cause she seems to know whats what in that area. I am guessing tho (and it truly is a guess) that if polled most folks, Lit and otherwise, would probably say that a lesbian by definition is a woman wanting to be with another woman exclusively. Again that is only my opinion and certainly not scientific by any means.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Oh nice. Once again basing gay/lesbian entirely on what sex a person engages in sexual activity with...and going by simple dictionary sources as though that is any substitute for the abundance of schloarly sources that prove you wrong. Nice. Your ass didn't even know what WSW meant in that very debate we were having. One of the moderators who agreed with me about sexual identity in the LGBT community had to tell you. And yet you know what you're talking about? Don't make me laugh. And actually try heavy-hitting sources if you are going to debate with me.

I'm NOT debating you, ya doof; I'm laughing at you! There's a difference!


BTW, "heavy-hitting sources" ???? BWAHAHAHAHA! Such arrogance on a freakin porn story site cracks me up!!

 

[Safe_Bet]

A poll. We need one. Don't know how to do it tho. My head swims when I try to stay up on all the terms and labels and such. I just read what Stella and other more informed folks say cause she seems to know whats what in that area. I am guessing tho (and it truly is a guess) that if polled most folks, Lit and otherwise, would probably say that a lesbian by definition is a woman wanting to be with another woman exclusively. Again that is only my opinion and certainly not scientific by any means.

I'm not sure how to create a poll either.


I do know there is a box you check at the bottom when you start a new thread though!

 

[PricelessT]

A poll. We need one. Don't know how to do it tho. My head swims when I try to stay up on all the terms and labels and such. I just read what Stella and other more informed folks say cause she seems to know whats what in that area. I am guessing tho (and it truly is a guess) that if polled most folks, Lit and otherwise, would probably say that a lesbian by definition is a woman wanting to be with another woman exclusively. Again that is only my opinion and certainly not scientific by any means.

I agree that most people would define "lesbian" that way. That's what I am as well -- exclusively sexually attracted to women. I have only stated that the lesbian community and therefore researchers are not consistent in how they define "lesbian," and that I support these women's (women who occasionally have sex with men) right to identify as lesbian. Research has shown that most people who identify as gay or lesbian do feel a little sexual attraction to the opposite sex. We have some of those people on this very board. So, really, I don't know why there are people here who think that anyone who identifies as gay or lesbian is 100% gay or lesbian. But speaking of "exclusively," most of the women who identify as lesbian but are a little sexually attracted to men, or rather occassionally have sex with men, say that they can/would rather do without men sexually. It comes down to loneliness, lack of a female partner, or separating pleasure from sexual attraction for why they continue to have sex with men.

 

[Stella_Omega]

There aren't enough women on this forum to get a statistically significant sample...

The way I see it, there are three reasons to want to control the definition of a group such as "Lesbian." One is political, and yeah, it's really useful to have clear and hard definitions when you're debating with idiot anti-human-rights opponents.

The second is personal, as a way of understanding yourself in relationships. Personal is personal. It impacts your own psyche and your significant other's.

The third reason is social, or maybe we could call it tribal-- trying to control the membership in the elite. Which is about as futile an endeavor as I can imagine, personally.

The real issue is this; how do you define yourself, how invested are you in the "one drop" standard? Is it important to anyone who matters to you?

 

[boredVAwife]

See......that's why I read the stuff of folks that know more than me.

 

[PricelessT]

I'm NOT debating you, ya doof; I'm laughing at you! There's a difference!


BTW, "heavy-hitting sources" ???? BWAHAHAHAHA! Such arrogance on a freakin porn story site cracks me up!!

Um, it's quite apparent that you weren't truly debating. You don't know how to, just like you don't know how to admit when you're wrong. I proved you wrong in all of our "debates," with even Stella backing me, and you still couldn't admit you were/are wrong. Just like now. And I'm the doof? Hilarious.

Oh, and excuse me for even daring to use rationale/good arguments on a "porn story site." Apparently, I'm supposed to be as dumb in my arguments as you, and dumb things down for other folks. News flash: Just because you aren't familiar with proper debating or scholarly sources doesn't mean others have to work on your level. This forum is not simply a porn-y forum. It's a forum where LGBT topics, serious LGBT topics, can and do take place, no matter posters like you who try to keep it juvenile in here.

 

[Safe_Bet]

There aren't enough women on this forum to get a statistically significant sample...

The way I see it, there are three reasons to want to control the definition of a group such as "Lesbian." One is political, and yeah, it's really useful to have clear and hard definitions when you're debating with idiot anti-human-rights opponents.

The second is personal, as a way of understanding yourself in relationships. Personal is personal. It impacts your own psyche and your significant other's.

The third reason is social, or maybe we could call it tribal-- trying to control the membership in the elite. Which is about as futile an endeavor as I can imagine, personally.

The real issue is this; how do you define yourself, how invested are you in the "one drop" standard? Is it important to anyone who matters to you?

I really, Really, REALLY hate that "one drop standard" comparison! It equates not choosing to have sex with a bisexual as being a racist and frankly that is SERIOUSLY offensive!

Nobody is saying you can't self describe as a lesbian if you ever had sex with a man. DAMN few women are true gold stars, technically including myself. Additionally, MANY women come to their actual orientation later in life, as you well know.

But what differentiates all of them is that they exclusively and solely desire women. There IS no "occasional dick of convienence". The ones that DO occassionally have sex with a dude are bisexuals, even if it's only occassionally.

What you were in the past and what you might become in the future is immaterial. It is how you perceive yourself now that matters.

What it also doesn't let pass is off handed insults regarding our CHOICES!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Um, it's quite apparent that you weren't truly debating. You don't know how to, just like you don't know how to admit when you're wrong. I proved you wrong in all of our "debates," with even Stella backing me, and you still couldn't admit you were/are wrong. Just like now. And I'm the doof? Hilarious.

Oh, and excuse me for even daring to use rationale/good arguments on a "porn story site." Apparently, I'm supposed to be as dumb in my arguments as you, and dumb things down for other folks. News flash: Just because you aren't familiar with proper debating or scholarly sources doesn't mean others have to work on your level. This forum is not simply a porn-y forum. It's a forum where LGBT topics, serious LGBT topics, can and do take place, no matter posters like you who try to keep it juvenile in here.

Oh, blow it out your ass, Lustiphobia! You haven't proven anything but that you're an egotistical asshole.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I really, Really, REALLY hate that comparison! It equates not choosing to have sex with a bisexual as being a racist and frankly that is SERIOUSLY offensive!

Wrong. You want to police your significant others's past, go right ahead. That's not being racist, or prejudiced or any other thing because it only concerns you and your choices.

We all are engaged in a struggle to make our own judgement calls and our own choices. We kind of don't have the right to make them for anyone else.

Nobody is saying you can't self describe as a lesbian if you ever had sex with a man. DAMN few women are true gold stars, technically including myself. Additionally, MANY women come to their actual orientation later in life, as you well know.

Except that you do it all the time;

But what differentiates all of them is that they exclusively and solely desire women. There IS no "occasional dick of convienence". The ones that DO occassionally have sex with a dude are bisexuals, even if it's only occassionally.

Just. Like. That.

 

[Noira]

I prefer:

Butch women.

Femme women.

Plump women.

Slim women.

Women who wear makeup for me.

Women who won't wear makeup for anyone.

Women who take their clothes off, or who let me do it.

Women who take my clothes off or watch me do it.

For starters.

Woo women.

I do have to agree with this though:

The ones that DO occassionally have sex with a dude are bisexuals, even if it's only occassionally.

Yep. You can be a lesbian and HAVE had sex with a dude. The thing is, you have then decided you aren't going to have sex with any more dudes, likely as not because you're simply not attracted to them, and that's what in my opinion makes the definition of a lesbian. You're not attracted to, and not fucking dudes. But if you occasionally have sex with a guy, you are bisexual. Nothing wrong with that!

I wish more people would be comfortable with their bi/pan status. It doesn't mean you can't be monogamous and in a committed relationship. You CAN be bisexual and in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex. It's the attraction to the opposite sex that adds that bisexual tag there.

I think it's just that some people equate bisexuality with polysexuality and so they feel that if they're a woman in a relationship with a woman, they're a lesbian. Not true! Bisexuality is a description of attraction, not necessarily who you are doing right now.

Lesbians do not and would not do a man. Simple. I don't see why anyone would have trouble with that definition. I also don't see where it came from in this thread.

Let it stand though, I do favor a preference for butch ladies, but more than that, I like real women. Not too keen on the porny bleached blond barely legal lesbian with long gaudy fingernails. Makes me wince a little, to be honest.

 

[PricelessT]

Safe_Bet, and what Stella and I and others are saying is that is your definiton of "lesbian," that "lesbian" is not defined the same way by all of the lesbian community and among researchers. Defining sexual orientation has a lot to do with self-identity as well. And I've already been clear that these women do not truly sexually desire men. For whatever reason, you continue to disregard or fail to grasp all of this. If you are a lesbian who has had sex with a man or men, as you say you are, then you should be able to understand how a lesbian can have sex with a man without any true sexual attraction for the man existing. You even brought up women coming "to their actual orientation later in life." A lot of these women say that they had no idea they were lesbian, and, when asked if they got any sexual pleasure from having sex with men, say yes. That's the main reason a lot of them say they had no clue they were lesbian. So that's another example of separating sexual pleasure from true sexual attraction. But whatever. You have your opinion, and it is an opinion. What you fail to do is let others have theirs.

 

[PricelessT]

Oh, blow it out your ass, Lustiphobia! You haven't proven anything but that you're an egotistical asshole.

I've proven a lot, no matter what you call me, and I have threads showing reliable sources and posters like Stella agreeing with me to prove it.

 

[BiBunny]

I wish more people would be comfortable with their bi/pan status. It doesn't mean you can't be monogamous and in a committed relationship. You CAN be bisexual and in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex. It's the attraction to the opposite sex that adds that bisexual tag there.

And I wish people would stop throwing the bisexual label on anyone who won't pick one side or the other. I have had sex with non-lesbian women who were not bisexual. I consider myself bisexual, but there's a whole spectrum between homosexual and heterosexual. It would be nice to have it acknowledged occasionally.

 

[Safe_Bet]

If you are a lesbian who has had sex with a man or men, as you say you are, then you should be able to understand how a lesbian can have sex with a man without any true sexual attraction for the man existing.

You've either got some serious reading comprehension problems or you're blinded by your hatred of me. If your read what I actually wrote, I clearly said that if a woman had sex and her orientation changed she would be a lesbian. However if she STILL occasionally liked being with a man she's NOT cuz she's a bisexual by freakin definition!

BTW, I was raped, I wasn't "attracted". Also, I'm glad you have Stella agreeing with you, but as a bisexual, she doesn't get to be determining who is a lesbian either.

 

[Safe_Bet]

And I wish people would stop throwing the bisexual label on anyone who won't pick one side or the other. I have had sex with non-lesbian women who were not bisexual. I consider myself bisexual, but there's a whole spectrum between homosexual and heterosexual. It would be nice to have it acknowledged occasionally.

Well if you have heterosexuals on one end of the spectrum and gays and lesbians on the other end, what do you suggest we call people who aren't either? (BTW, if you had FF sex then they weren't heterosexuals, for at least a little while! )