Let's see if I can phrase this right.

[SeaCat]

let's see if I can phrase this question right.

We as writers here deal with sex and even love, but what is it about sex that makes it so enjoyable as well as so important to us? Is it an emotional bonding? Is it an issue of trust? Is it love? (Yes I know there can be love without sex just as there can be sex without love.) Is it a sharing of control? The feeling of control/power or even the loss of control/power with your partner? Or is it just the physical aspects of it that we enjoy so much?

For me, of course there is the physical, but there is also the emotional loading. For me to enjoy sex there has to be a feeling of trust and respect. When I have sex I am sharing not just my body and my skills with my body, but I am also sharing my trust of my partner. I am saying in effect that I trust they will not give me a disease, but more importantly I am saying that I know/trust that my partner will not use this time between us against me. We, when we are having sex, are sharing not just our bodies but our emotions and our dreams. Maybe this is why I feel that sex is something that is not necessarily just for the marriage, just for people who respect each other.

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

I can't answer this for reasons I whine about endlessly.

I do remember the cuddling afterwards more than the act itself. That warm feeling inside and out stays with me still.

 

[SeaCat]

I can't answer this for reasons I whine about endlessly.

I do remember the cuddling afterwards more than the act itself. That warm feeling inside and out stays with me still.

Bob,
Isn't that part of it though? The feeling of sharing intimacy? (No I'm not picking on you, I respect you too much for that.) To you that is what was important or it wouldn't have stuck with you.

A couple years after my wife and I were married one of my wife's co-workers wormed her way into our lives. (She played us like a couple of fiddles and almost broke us apart.) One evening we were all sitting around and sex came up. Before I knew it I was enjoying oral sex with her and making her scream. What I enjoyed most of that night was not just tasting her, but the feeling that I was sharing something important to both her and me. (It turned out the sex wasn't important to her, just the idea of power over my wife and I was important to her.) The fact that I was able to give her pleasure was a great turn on to myself as well as my wife. Unfortunately as things worked out the pleasure for us wasn't what pleasured her and things turned out badly for the three of us. It's too bad for her because my wife and I are still together and she's single again.

Cat

 

[LadyJeanne]

Complicated question, and I want to think about it before I answer. In the meantime, this part stood out:

I am saying that I know/trust that my partner will not use this time between us against me

Could you tell me what this means to you?

 

[SeaCat]

Complicated question, and I want to think about it before I answer. In the meantime, this part stood out:



Could you tell me what this means to you?

What I am trying to say is that I know/ trust that my partner will not us this time of sharing against me. Hmmm that didn;t say anything different did it? Okay we'll put it this way.

I like oral, I enjoy giving oral to a woman. I am also admittadly not hung like a Porn Star. I am trusting my partner will not be going around telling people that I have a small dick and am kinky as hell becuase I stuck my tongue up her cunt, nibbled and sucked on her clit, and made her scream more than once when I slid my tongue down over her ass. I also trusting her not to use this time between us to try and further herself through blackmailing me.

Cat

 

[entitled]

What I am trying to say is that I know/ trust that my partner will not us this time of sharing against me. Hmmm that didn;t say anything different did it? Okay we'll put it this way.

I like oral, I enjoy giving oral to a woman. I am also admittadly not hung like a Porn Star. I am trusting my partner will not be going around telling people that I have a small dick and am kinky as hell becuase I stuck my tongue up her cunt, nibbled and sucked on her clit, and made her scream more than once when I slid my tongue down over her ass. I also trusting her not to use this time between us to try and further herself through blackmailing me.

Cat

Can i borrow you for a day or two?

For me, it's definitely trust. If i can't trust a person not to harm me unless it's asked for - and even then not enough to even leave a bruise, except by the occasional accident - they will not touch me. Period. If i know i can trust a person to that extent, then i will relinquish control and enjoy every second of it.

There's also the fact that it's a release. There's more stress in my life than most people realize or that i like to admit. Bunches of negative energy end up being kept bottled inside with no release. All of that is turned toward things like orgasms during sex.

 

[LadyJeanne]

What I am trying to say is that I know/ trust that my partner will not us this time of sharing against me. Hmmm that didn;t say anything different did it? Okay we'll put it this way.

I like oral, I enjoy giving oral to a woman. I am also admittadly not hung like a Porn Star. I am trusting my partner will not be going around telling people that I have a small dick and am kinky as hell becuase I stuck my tongue up her cunt, nibbled and sucked on her clit, and made her scream more than once when I slid my tongue down over her ass. I also trusting her not to use this time between us to try and further herself through blackmailing me.

Cat

Right, she's playing with you, not against you. You trust that you're in it together.

 

[SeaCat]

Right, she's playing with you, not against you. You trust that you're in it together.

Exactly
Now stop trying to make me think. It makes my brain itch.

Cat

 

[elsol]

I've got a penis.

It gets hard.

The most fun way of making it go down is sex.

My penis is very important to me.

What else it there to know about why sex is important to me?

Sincerely,
ElSol

ps. Orgasms also make women more... well, if you don't know there's no point in getting into it.

 

[cantdog]

I think trust is the crux, man. Trust is love. Love cannot exist without it.

 

[matriarch]

I think trust is the crux, man. Trust is love. Love cannot exist without it.

Exactly.

 

[rgraham666]

I think trust is the crux, man. Trust is love. Love cannot exist without it.

That's a big part of my problem.

I really do not trust most human beings.

 

[gauchecritic]

I refer the right honourable SeaCat to an answer I gave some time ago.

It killed the thread but is relevant. Maybe it was an unequivocal answer.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I don't know, but I know this-- Sex is the only time you're both giving and receiving pleasure at the same time.

(Well, maybe nursing should go in here as well, but I wouldn't know about that.)

In fact, that's a pretty good definition of what sex is.

 

[impressive]

I think trust is the crux, man. Trust is love. Love cannot exist without it.

Absolutely.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I'll chime in to say that I'm not sure that one needs trust, absolutely, in order to have love. I think it favorable, excellent, helpful, and pretty to have trust in love--but I can think of women I have loved that I didn't trust; similarly, I can recall being entirely too fraudulant to loving women and women in love.

. . .. ... .....

Past that, though, sex is mostly a physical act of intimacy for me. I feel rarely, if ever, emotionally invested in it. I can recall one time when it was an emotional time, and it was also really good sex--but easily 99% of the sex I've had has been for fun and emphasis and ego.