Dragline
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2004
- Posts
- 722
I love going through the personals, but im starting to see a level of consistency of how people fill out their profiles. Let’s focus on the women for today. Listed below are standard classic statements I read over and over from women who claim they are looking for a partner/mate/friend etc.
1. I like to have fun
This is the dumbest thing you can say in your personal. It's sort of like saying, "I see things with my eyes". The whole point of fun is that you like it. There isn't a person on the face of the planet that will admit that they don't like to have fun. That's not exactly an amazing trait to be listing. In fact, when ever I read that I pretty much assume that the poster has the intelligence of your standard sorority Barbie doll, plastic head and all.
2. I don't like guys who play games
I don't think that the men, who do play games, would rarely acknowledge that they play games. Hell, most of them probably don't even realize they're doing it when they are. And maybe I just don't read the guys' personals enough, but I very much doubt you're going to find anyone that says, "I like to play games, and am looking to fuck with someone's head". It's one of those crap-shoots that everyone has to ante into when you do the online dating thing. Sort of like when you go to meet someone who hasn't sent you a picture and you're really hoping that half their head hasn't been taken over by a giant mole. You just never know until you meet the person.
3. No Bush Supporters Please
I'm no fan of Bush either, but some of my good friends voted for him. That doesn't make them inbred retards or horrible people. I can understand that personal politics can be a big issue for some people, but it's not for everyone. By playing the anti-bush card you immediately remove half of your possibilities, and then alienate even more who may not support Bush, but couldn't give a rat’s ass about politics, politicians, and the people whose lives revolve around pointing out the injustices of the powers that be. You might as well say "My ideal first date includes protesting and civil disobedience".
4. I'm looking for a good Christian who loves Jesus
Have you ever noticed Christians are the only people who make demands that their dates be of the same faith as they are? Seriously. Look around. You'll never find ads that say "Must be Atheist", "Buddhists Only please", or "Looking for a nice Hindu fella". While this irks me in someway, it's also kind of nice. It plants a big billboard on your personal that screams "I'M A JESUS FREAK". Which too many of us read as "WARNING: Poster has a loose grip on reality and a limited conversational repertoire. Proceed with great caution!"
5. I've got pictures on my website
No you don't. You have pictures of someone on your website, but it's not you because you're a guy! That's right. I can see through your ruse. You run a porn/model site and you're trying to generate hits. If you were a woman posting a personal, who had also created your own website with pictures of yourself on it, then you would know how to post your picture with your personal. You might fool most people, but you don't fool me!
6. I'm 18 and....
Okay stop right there. You're 18 and you're already resorting to personal ads? Jesus, give the dating scene a change to crush your hopes before automatically resorting to the personals. I don't care how grown up you think you are. If you're 18 you don't have enough life experience to bitch and moan about how hard it is to find the right person. You haven't been trying hard enough. Besides, most of the men who respond to 18 year olds are going to be 40+, and you don't want to go there.
7. I like to go out sometimes, but I also like to stay in
So you're telling me that sometimes you leave your apartment, and sometimes you don't. That's incredible because that's what EVERYONE ELSE DOES! The frequency varies from person to person, but everyone goes out sometimes, and stays home other times. Is this really worth making mention of? If you're a hermit that never goes out, that might be worth noting. If you're a wild drunken party animal that goes out every single night that too may be worth mentioning. But making the above statement just tells me that you're trying really hard to sound normal, which leads me to believe that you're not.
8. BBW's without pictures.
Oh man...good luck. Seriously. If you consider yourself a Big Beautiful Woman, you'd better be able to back it up. I am of the belief that big women can be beautiful. But I, like most men, am not attracted to over weight people. I'm rather thin myself, and if you're 6 inches shorter than me, and 100lbs more than me, I'm probably not going to be feeling the sparks. Being big does not necessarily denote that you are beautiful as well. But if you are (or at least think you are) you might want to post a picture to prove it to the world. Otherwise 99% of the guys are going to skip right over your message in search of someone more appropriately proportioned.
9. SWF, SWM, NSA, BBW, HWP, PVP, ETC
When you start using acronyms in your personals, you've been doing the personals thing for too long. When I temped at an office, you could tell who'd been there forever because they had abbreviations for everything that you only understood once you'd been there for a few years. I think the same thing applies to the personals. You don't want to be that person, and I sure as hell don't want to date that person.
1. I like to have fun
This is the dumbest thing you can say in your personal. It's sort of like saying, "I see things with my eyes". The whole point of fun is that you like it. There isn't a person on the face of the planet that will admit that they don't like to have fun. That's not exactly an amazing trait to be listing. In fact, when ever I read that I pretty much assume that the poster has the intelligence of your standard sorority Barbie doll, plastic head and all.
2. I don't like guys who play games
I don't think that the men, who do play games, would rarely acknowledge that they play games. Hell, most of them probably don't even realize they're doing it when they are. And maybe I just don't read the guys' personals enough, but I very much doubt you're going to find anyone that says, "I like to play games, and am looking to fuck with someone's head". It's one of those crap-shoots that everyone has to ante into when you do the online dating thing. Sort of like when you go to meet someone who hasn't sent you a picture and you're really hoping that half their head hasn't been taken over by a giant mole. You just never know until you meet the person.
3. No Bush Supporters Please
I'm no fan of Bush either, but some of my good friends voted for him. That doesn't make them inbred retards or horrible people. I can understand that personal politics can be a big issue for some people, but it's not for everyone. By playing the anti-bush card you immediately remove half of your possibilities, and then alienate even more who may not support Bush, but couldn't give a rat’s ass about politics, politicians, and the people whose lives revolve around pointing out the injustices of the powers that be. You might as well say "My ideal first date includes protesting and civil disobedience".
4. I'm looking for a good Christian who loves Jesus
Have you ever noticed Christians are the only people who make demands that their dates be of the same faith as they are? Seriously. Look around. You'll never find ads that say "Must be Atheist", "Buddhists Only please", or "Looking for a nice Hindu fella". While this irks me in someway, it's also kind of nice. It plants a big billboard on your personal that screams "I'M A JESUS FREAK". Which too many of us read as "WARNING: Poster has a loose grip on reality and a limited conversational repertoire. Proceed with great caution!"
5. I've got pictures on my website
No you don't. You have pictures of someone on your website, but it's not you because you're a guy! That's right. I can see through your ruse. You run a porn/model site and you're trying to generate hits. If you were a woman posting a personal, who had also created your own website with pictures of yourself on it, then you would know how to post your picture with your personal. You might fool most people, but you don't fool me!
6. I'm 18 and....
Okay stop right there. You're 18 and you're already resorting to personal ads? Jesus, give the dating scene a change to crush your hopes before automatically resorting to the personals. I don't care how grown up you think you are. If you're 18 you don't have enough life experience to bitch and moan about how hard it is to find the right person. You haven't been trying hard enough. Besides, most of the men who respond to 18 year olds are going to be 40+, and you don't want to go there.
7. I like to go out sometimes, but I also like to stay in
So you're telling me that sometimes you leave your apartment, and sometimes you don't. That's incredible because that's what EVERYONE ELSE DOES! The frequency varies from person to person, but everyone goes out sometimes, and stays home other times. Is this really worth making mention of? If you're a hermit that never goes out, that might be worth noting. If you're a wild drunken party animal that goes out every single night that too may be worth mentioning. But making the above statement just tells me that you're trying really hard to sound normal, which leads me to believe that you're not.
8. BBW's without pictures.
Oh man...good luck. Seriously. If you consider yourself a Big Beautiful Woman, you'd better be able to back it up. I am of the belief that big women can be beautiful. But I, like most men, am not attracted to over weight people. I'm rather thin myself, and if you're 6 inches shorter than me, and 100lbs more than me, I'm probably not going to be feeling the sparks. Being big does not necessarily denote that you are beautiful as well. But if you are (or at least think you are) you might want to post a picture to prove it to the world. Otherwise 99% of the guys are going to skip right over your message in search of someone more appropriately proportioned.
9. SWF, SWM, NSA, BBW, HWP, PVP, ETC
When you start using acronyms in your personals, you've been doing the personals thing for too long. When I temped at an office, you could tell who'd been there forever because they had abbreviations for everything that you only understood once you'd been there for a few years. I think the same thing applies to the personals. You don't want to be that person, and I sure as hell don't want to date that person.
